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Lesbian couple requests child support from sperm donor.
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28 / M / Bay Area CA
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Posted 1/3/13
I better stop donating, I can't afford 20 children
Posted 1/3/13
Lots of people donate sperm to make a little mre cash, if he's put on the spot, will people stop donating? Why did he reveal his identity?
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F / Urban South
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Posted 1/3/13
Ah, this thread is all wrong. Four years ago a total stranger was nice enough to give them a sample, and the ladies used a syringe instead of a doctor to get knocked up, saving themselves about $30,000. Everyone signed agreements that the sperm donor would have no rights or responsibilities for the child and thought it was over and done with. Everything seems reasonable, but...

Now the couple have split up and one of them is a low-income custodial single parent. She applied for entitlement benefits (likely food stamps and medicaid), but due to a technicality in Kansas state law the biological father is required to pay child support, rather than the other parent in the relationship that conceived the child. So basically Kansas is going after the sperm donor for the child support that Mommy #2 should be paying. It is clearly a problem with Kansas law, and not a problem of ruthless lesbians shaking down sperm donors for money.
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27 / M / Toledo
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Posted 1/3/13 , edited 1/3/13

Taqran wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

I didn't say it was the couple. It is his job to know the laws of the state regarding the matter before proceeding with it. Basically I am just pointing out that with such a big decision as helping to bring a life into this world he should have covered himself better than to just write up a contract and expect it to not only have no loopholes but to also be upheld by the state.


Thank you for clarifying, justanotherguy_2005. : ) I sincerely hope I did not offend. The main purpose behind my response was to outline a little better the situation, as you had stated you hadn't read the article.


Nah you didn't. My first post just wasn't clear enough in my position and reasoning. From the responses from those who read the article I just came to the conclusion that the bottom line is it may not be fair but the law was already in place and both the couple and him should have been a lot more cautious in making sure everything was completely legal and would hold up in court both for his sake and theirs. They wouldn't want him to exploit a loophole in the contract that somehow allowed him to take custody of the child just like he wouldn't want to have to pay for a child that wasn't intended to have him in its life. They should have had legal help for every step of the process to avoid all possible situations where they might have issues. I mean it is a pretty big deal to bring a child into this world itself let alone bring one in under that circumstance. I also feel that the couple probably could have planned their financial situation a lot better so that this didn't happen as well. Children are expensive and they should have made sure they would have the money needed or at the very least support systems (family/friends to help take care of various things) that could enable them to make it through tougher times without relying on the state for money.


Seversky wrote:

Lots of people donate sperm to make a little mre cash, if he's put on the spot, will people stop donating? Why did he reveal his identity?


I am hoping that people won't have to stop donating since there are perfectly legal and official channels that they can go through that would have made the law that the man is currently fighting irrelevant. His identity (I assume) was revealed simply because this started on craigslist instead of a sperm bank where donors really are anonymous and not responsible for the child.
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17 / M / North Dakota
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Posted 1/3/13 , edited 1/3/13

mhibicke wrote:

Ah, this thread is all wrong. Four years ago a total stranger was nice enough to give them a sample, and the ladies used a syringe instead of a doctor to get knocked up, saving themselves about $30,000. Everyone signed agreements that the sperm donor would have no rights or responsibilities for the child and thought it was over and done with. Everything seems reasonable, but...

Now the couple have split up and one of them is a low-income custodial single parent. She applied for entitlement benefits (likely food stamps and medicaid), but due to a technicality in Kansas state law the biological father is required to pay child support, rather than the other parent in the relationship that conceived the child. So basically Kansas is going after the sperm donor for the child support that Mommy #2 should be paying. It is clearly a problem with Kansas law, and not a problem of ruthless lesbians shaking down sperm donors for money.


Everything you said may or may not be true but i looked up the cost for artificial insemination. Its not even close to your estimates and my thread is not completely wrong because the couple split up, everything else was allreay givin in my link.


300$ to 500$ an insemination with a 20% chance of success each time. normally between 5 and 10 attempts.
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Posted 1/3/13
The fact that "child support" is an actual IRL concept disgusts me. Why do dudes leave their own families?

Anyway I don't feel like commenting on the actual subject that we're talking about here.
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25 / M / San Francisco
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Posted 1/3/13
Such a litigious world we live in. I have feels for the guy but it was a mistake going about it that way
Posted 1/3/13
At least it was a request and not a court order.
Totavo 
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22 / M / Missouri, United...
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Posted 1/3/13 , edited 1/3/13
Actually they weren't trying to claim Child support, the state is trying to force this process since it wasn't done through the proper channels. I live in Kansas City, Mo, which is on the east side of the state border so I've heard a lot on this.

Plus the article kinda says it in the first paragraph that the state is causing the trouble, not the couple.

http://www.kansascity.com/2013/01/02/3990711/state-trying-to-make-sperm-donor.html
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F / Urban South
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Posted 1/3/13

Jdaimond wrote:

Everything you said may or may not be true but i looked up the cost for artificial insemination. Its not even close to your estimates and my thread is not completely wrong because the couple split up, everything else was allreay givin in my link.


You're right; I apologize for my mistake. I was thinking of in vitro fertilization, which costs about $7,000 per attempt. Artificial insemination costs between $500 and $1000 per attempt, but is much less likely to work.

Either way, the cost for both IVF and AI have gone down a lot in the past ten years. Before my son was conceived I looked into the cost of these procedures and at the time was told it would likely cost between $15,000 and $45,000 to get pregnant as it usually takes multiple attempts to conceive. I opted to save money by getting drunk and watching porn in my living room. $12 for alcohol, $17 for porn, and now I'm a mom for life. Cool how that works.

As for the other stuff, I read an in-depth story on the situation by NPR just minutes before I saw your thread. They could have it wrong as well, but I trust NPR more than many other news sources.
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17 / M / North Dakota
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Posted 1/3/13

mhibicke wrote:


Jdaimond wrote:

Everything you said may or may not be true but i looked up the cost for artificial insemination. Its not even close to your estimates and my thread is not completely wrong because the couple split up, everything else was allreay givin in my link.


You're right; I apologize for my mistake. I was thinking of in vitro fertilization, which costs about $7,000 per attempt. Artificial insemination costs between $500 and $1000 per attempt, but is much less likely to work.

Either way, the cost for both IVF and AI have gone down a lot in the past ten years. Before my son was conceived I looked into the cost of these procedures and at the time was told it would likely cost between $15,000 and $45,000 to get pregnant as it usually takes multiple attempts to conceive. I opted to save money by getting drunk and watching porn in my living room. $12 for alcohol, $17 for porn, and now I'm a mom for life. Cool how that works.

As for the other stuff, I read an in-depth story on the situation by NPR just minutes before I saw your thread. They could have it wrong as well, but I trust NPR more than many other news sources.




your avi fits your personality well.
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24 / M / United States
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Posted 1/3/13
yeah this is stupid and I think he has a good case if they can establish the precedent with that 2007 case.
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M / Auckland
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Posted 1/4/13
His problem, follow the law idiot
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Posted 6/5/13
Summer forum cleaning! To keep the forums neat and tidy we only keep 6 months worth of threads since its June 5, 2013 [6/5/13] we will keep only keep posts open from January 5, 2013 [1/5/13]. Please feel free to recreate any thread closed, as long as someone else didn't open another similar one before you.
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