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Being forced to drive, is that okay? What are your opinions?
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47 / M / GEG
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Posted 1/14/13
Why not just learn the skill in case of an emergency?
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32 / M / US
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Posted 1/14/13 , edited 1/14/13

Shrapnel893 wrote:


dark_paradox_21 wrote:





Humanity will not be screwed because a few kids or young adults haven't taken it upon themselves to learn to drive or get a job, that's just rude. Calling people little brats isn't a way to get a point across either. Everyone is different, you aren't like everyone else and everyone else isn't like you. Please clarify and correct me if I'm wrong or anything.



You are correct in your narrow thought - a few fearful, lazy, dependent or unambitious teens are not going to doom humanity. You are WRONG in the real world. How many is a few? How many is too many?

It isn't that I'm different. I'm not expecting everyone to know everything. I am EXPECTING young adults to ACT like adults. I am expecting teenagers to start learning how to become adults. Prior to the early 1900s it was EXPECTED that a child (especially a boy) of 12 or 13 should start work in order to assist his family. In 1942-43 we entered WWII and 17 and 18 year-olds were literally being blasted into bloody chunks by the THOUSANDS, watching their friends die all around them, and sacrificing health, safety and sanity to preserve the very existence of their homes (remember the Germans were working on an H-bomb and long-range rockets). What did we do? We ALL worked. Young women worked in factories and young men died and committed atrocities that none of your videogames could ever emulate. Housewives planted gardens so more food could be allocated from farmlands directly to the military. From the end of WWII until the late 1980s we were involved in the cold war and we actually ran NUCLEAR MISSILE DRILLS in schools -- and yes I am old enough to remember them. My school had a fallout shelter. Lets not forget how many 18 year old boys were killed in Korea and Vietnam -- where if you got a draft letter in the mail it was basically a death sentence. NOW we've had 30 years of safe domestic living and we have these young adults (and at 17-18 you are adults, like it or not) that don't want to learn basic skills to take care of themselves because it is SCARY or inconvenient?

Seriously!? You're seriously alright letting that slide?

Generally it is the hope of parents that the next generation will be an improvement but 30 years of safety and "self-esteem" building education have left the upcoming generation woefully ill-equipped to deal with even basic problems, let alone catastrophes. Being told, "You're about to turn 18, go register for the draft" when the life expectancy of a soldier in Vietnam is a couple of minutes is scary. Telling an 8-year-old "get to the bomb shelter because everyone you know and love not in it is about to be vaporized by the Russians" is scary. Driving and having the legal ability to move about on your own terms is NOT scary and is the exact opposite of inconvenient (once you get past the DMV).

Kindness can't always be kind. There are people like you who say, "maybe they have problems." Well no $hit they have problems. Everyone does (and I'm not referring to those with physical handicaps). You think that you're being kind and reasonable, but what you are doing is fostering an environment that accepts failure. You aren't helping people who have troubles, you're making it easier for them to NOT get over their troubles. It used to be that we had dunce caps in school. When a student failed, they wore a dunce cap like a clown and sat in a corner near the teachers desk. This was done in middle and even high schools until a couple of decades ago. Do you know what happened? A few were troublemakers for the attention, but MOST were ashamed, tried harder and eventually succeeded. Those who succeeded after applying greater effort developed confidence and pride.

You see, shame is a powerful motivator. It is actually a necessary component for a society to function. This has been known for millenia. It is currently used extensively in stricter (especially private) schools and within the military to condition people (and conditioning theory is another interesting topic which is a part of this issue -- but I'll tell you to just go ahead and look up Operant conditioning theory rather than explain it here). Shame is the reason more people don't do drugs. Shame is the reason there aren't more roving pedophiles in windowless vans. Shame is the reason cashiers will usually try to give you correct change. Shame and Pride are essential social conditioning tools to create an orderly society. Every culture enforces its social norms through attitudes of pride, shame, joy and fear.

So what happens when you make one special exception? In the REAL world, two or three more try to get away with something. What happens when you excuse them too? 5 or 10 more try to get away with something. You can watch it happen in the real world in any classroom, business or organization -- 20% of the people do 80% of the work. THAT is the reason that excusing one or two or a thousand people at a time is so destructive -- it becomes exponential. Something MUST be said. If nothing is said, if every hurt feeling is soothed, the problem gets worse. You're right that a few unmotivated teens won't ruin the country, but the few quickly becomes many. That is EXACTLY what happened to the Soviet Union. In a system, when the number who choose to excel are exceeded by those that need support, the system collapses. There were people who had pride and ambitious people who labored forward in life for their own reasons, but at the end of the day they were all treated the same so many people just gave up and soon there were too many people in bread lines and not enough people making bread. The system collapsed (of course there were other factors, but that was a large part of it).

I think of a posts like this like a survey. I see the age groups (what few are honest about their ages) in the column at the side. I see numerous replies. I see that those who are younger encouraged the author of this thread to not bother learning to drive. I see a large portion or older posters encouraging independence and preparedness. If 3/4 of the young posters are against learning an important life skill, that bothers me. That bothers me a lot. That is pathetic and those who refuse to learn deserve to feel pathetic. The whole world, from the roads, the cell phone towers, the computers you're sitting at, the houses you live in were all built by people who exerted effort. Effort is usually not the most pleasant thing but the world as we know it wouldn't exist without it. Some of these kids don't even have the desire to get around by themselves without asking for permission or relying on others! It doesn't even seem to occur to them that they should! It is unhealthy to be stuck at home, it is unhealthy to rely on others forever, and it is unhealthy to have so little ambition! That is pathetic and I want them to feel pathetic so they'll be motivated to BETTER THEMSELVES.

One of the first things asked in a job interview is "do you have reliable transportation?" or "Do you have a car?" In fact, EVERY job interview I've been in has asked that question. You will NOT be hired if you can't get YOURSELF to work. Not many women will go on a second date if you're 22 and have to borrow mom's car. Your teachers are nice to you because they'll lose their jobs if they aren't. Your parents are nice to you because they think of you as their special precious jewel. Your friends and other young people are nice to you because they don't know any better. If you think I'm insulting, The real world WILL kick your ass.

And yes, in some urban areas it is better to use mass transit or walk. 99% of North America is NOT urban area. Even if you DO live in an urban area, there may be times in which you want to leave to go to a beach or visit family. There may be an emergency and walking just isn't fast enough. There may be city worker's strike and the bus just isn't coming (you'll be fired for missing work. The boss doesn't care about the city strike unless you work for the city). Just learn already. Learn once and it is a tool you'll always have available. While you're at it learn how to cook for yourselves, write a resume, do laundry and perform basic first aid.

Posted 1/14/13 , edited 1/14/13
I hated learning how to drive. I feared it, and I thought that I would never be good at it.
However, nowadays I enjoy driving.
My family is strict, so they expect me to go home after going to my college classes. But ever since they let me use the family truck to drive, I usually go to Starbucks to get a drink or Subways to get a sandwich. Instead of inconveniencing someone else, I drove myself to a group meeting for a school project. If I had let my family drive me, they would have nagged on and on about how I'm a horrible daughter for making them drive me there.
Really, unless your living in a super busy city, like maybe New York or something, I suggest you learn how to drive. Unless you want your mom to drive you all the time....and if your mom is like mine, always nagging, always saying "NO" when you ask her if she can drive you to a friends' house, then I really bid you luck. Relying on friends all the time isn't nice either. Walking is a good alternative, except you'll probably always be late, or you'll probably get mugged/ kidnapped from time to time. Biking is better, although like I said about walking, unless you live close to the destination, it'll be a hell of a time. Buses.......I hate buses. Transits or trams usually exist in busy places, so maybe that could be a better way of travel considering the traffic, but still...... I already had a chat with a drunk guidette riding the trolley from Qualcomm to SDCC last summer. And even then, my cousin and I needed to drive to Qualcomm to ride the Trolley. There are a lot of weirdos out there, and a lot of ways to get yourself killed. Personally, I'd rather it be a car crash than a gang rape or knife fight, but that's just me. You just need to learn how to be attentive and responsible when driving.

Also, I know how it feels to be forced to do something you don't want to do. When I was learning how to drive, my dad taught me. My dad is a Filipino Navy veteran with high blood pressure. The thought of driving didn't scare me as much back then....but the thought of driving with my DAD was frightening. My experience learning how to drive was just brutal. I cried a lot when I practiced. A LOT. And just to make an example of how brutal it was, my dad previously taught my grandpa. And HE cried, because my dad didn't give him special treatment either. Just thinking about it all now makes me feel anxious.
But I guarantee, you will not regret it. You'll probably still hate driving, probably for the next decades of your life. But you won't have to rely on others to take you somewhere. And yes, there is a risk of getting hurt while driving, but honestly, there is no safe place in this world that can keep you from harm. Just being in the kitchen is dangerous, with all the knives, and microwaves and stuff.
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19 / F / HK
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Posted 1/15/13
omg, get it over with, you're going to have to go through the training anyways..
if it's your parent's forcing you... take the hint, they're probably tired of driving you everywhere

you take transit? great. but driving is also an essential in life today
yes, it is YOUR choice, but take the test anyways

you're lucky, I've begged my parents to allow me to take my "N", but sadly, I don't have the time to practice much, I still can't parallel park... etc
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25 / World Wide Web
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Posted 1/15/13
I have my reasons for not driving
1. Spasms. I have spasms in my arms, this could potentially lead to me pulling the steering wheel in the wrong direction during a freak spasm and hurt somebody. What if that happend while driving through a busy street? I don't want to kill someone.
2. My slightly autistic Aspie brain doesn't like changes. To drive you have to switch seat and my brain doesn't want to do that, it raises the anxiety and stress levels to the point were I can't think or concentrate on anything. Driving requires concentration.
3. Trauma as a child. I was in a car that blew up on the road, I got out unscratched and so did my dad, but it doesn't change the fact that the car fucking blew up. And it wasn't an old or damaged model either. A car is a bomb on wheels, it might not happen often (and there are probably thousands of things that are way more likely to occur) but it can happen and it did.
Conclusion:
I'd be lethal. No other driver in their right mind would want me behind the wheels, even though I legally have the right to drive.
Besides, it's only 3 miles to town, it takes less than 20 min with bike and I get exercise. Walking takes around an hour. If I need to go somewhere I get my bike out, no matter the weather, and get to the destination on my own accord. I don't expect anyone to drive me there.

Driving is your choice, but don't expect others to drive you anywhere.
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23 / M / Georgia, USA
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Posted 1/15/13

dark_paradox_21 wrote:



This is exactly what I'm talking about. What sense of entitlement are they teaching in schools these days? I know I am not exactly a stellar citizen being that I'm a grown man watching anime -- but I paid for my computer with money I earned at my real big-boy job and I picked up the parts in my big boy car that I also paid for with money I made at my big-boy job. How is it that you little brats think its ok to bum rides and ask for handouts all the time? Aren't you humiliated? Aren't you embarrassed?

I lost my job for a while in '08 when the economy crashed. I had to crash on a friend's couch for a while. It was absolutely humiliating -- the lowest point in my life. How can you do that every day with no shame? How can you say, "I'll just bum rides" so nonchalantly? I really don't understand how any sane young person could not crave independence. It blows my freakin mind!

My Grandfather was fighting the Japanese at 17. I was in college at 16. These posts by late teens and early-twenty-somethings truly terrify me. YOU are the reason humanity is screwed. Learn to drive and get a job! Take care of yourselves! You'll feel better about yourselves if you actually DO something to feel good about. Until you physically DO something you are NOT important, you are NOT special and you do NOT matter.

Besides, if you love your family and friends don't you want to help them rather than take all the time?


As someone who was homeless at 15 and had to work like a dog to stay in school and not become a victim of US 'social services' and to get where I am today, fuck you very much. I bet you've never even had to catch, kill, clean and cook if you wanted to eat meat right? Go back to your air conditioned car made by the japs your papap killt in dubyadubya two -___-
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26 / F / USA
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Posted 1/15/13
I am 25 and have never been able to drive. I saw the wreckage a family member was in with a semi-truck. Then when I was learning how to drive, a semi-truck ran a red light and almost hit me. My husband drives and we have had too many times where another person almost hits us and then we were in a accident last april. I have panic attacks just riding in a car.

It's no problem for me though since I live in an area with tons of buses. I also don't mind all the extra walking, helps me stay in shape.
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18 / F / Canada, eh???
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Posted 1/15/13
Well... I think everyone should because I do and before I could I didn't think it was that handy. But now that I can it is sooo convienient and you don;t have to rely on anybody like you would otherwise. Personally, I think if you are capable. You should defffinitely
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24 / M / Portland, Oregon
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Posted 1/15/13
I think a car has become a huge tool in life and it can expand your possibilities, such as having a job. On the other side of things the less driving people do means the better our ecosystem is as well as not as many car accidents. I think learning to drive is a huge skill you should take advantage of while you're young, you don't necessarily need to drive because you know how to. But at least you would have that skill for a situation that may call for it.
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19 / F / Tiphares
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Posted 1/15/13 , edited 1/15/13

dark_paradox_21 wrote:



This isn't the 1900s anymore, stop using those as examples. Different times. As for everything else, form it so my narrow mind can understand. Dumb it down a little, I can't make out your grammar. Also, were you talking to me specifically or every teenager and young adult on this thread?


Amyas_Leigh wrote:

As someone who was homeless at 15 and had to work like a dog to stay in school and not become a victim of US 'social services' and to get where I am today, fuck you very much. I bet you've never even had to catch, kill, clean and cook if you wanted to eat meat right? Go back to your air conditioned car made by the japs your papap killt in dubyadubya two -___-


Be the better person, don't use insults.



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Posted 1/15/13

Jarexx wrote:

Sad thread is sad.


phanAn 
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61 / F / OP,FL
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Posted 1/15/13
You don't HAVE to drive but you got to know how before you get behind the wheel. I didn't drive for years. I walked or rode a bike, but around age 35 I lived in a small town with one store/gas pump/and one school K-12. The nearest retail store was 40 miles away and supermarket
and paying job. so I got a car and have been driving since. Mainly because you'll find it's nessasary. So hang on to that pride and buy some really good travel shoes.
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34 / M / The Void.
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Posted 1/15/13
Limiting my freedom of movement is pretty stupid if I choose to not get a driver's license.
phanAn 
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61 / F / OP,FL
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Posted 1/15/13
forgot to mention :Do you know how hard it can be to walk 4 young children a mile to school ,sometimes enconterning Moose or Racoons their (children) size or snowstorms. Having a car and knowing how to drive sure came in handy.
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22 / M
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Posted 1/15/13
You should get a license just to have one so you can go to places by driving yourself if you ever need to. It's really convenient to have even though I don't particularly like driving.
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