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How to get over the person you love, and how to find some one new?
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100 / M / in the underworld...
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Posted 1/18/13
The trouble I have is how to fully get over the girl I love, and find a new girl. Its hard I love the one I hate who hurts me every chance she gets. I keep remembering when she was kind and affectionate. She is a bold girl and for awail everything was wonderful. We had a kid, but every time her ex came back she treated me like crap plus now ended up with him.. Well thats over now I need someone new, someone I could fall for in time. Am not too picky but I got to think there at least cute. I don't want to waste it all one one night stands nor wait over a year. Where can a guy meet a good girl who will cuddle, hug, kiss and hold hands, where she don't give it up to fast nor too slow. Where can a normal guy meet a good girl not just like his ex or his first love but someone who will date at least a year or want to marry a year or more down the road. Am not to shallow even if every girl I dated was a 7 to 10 in looks. Now 27 out of school its hard and i passed on like 6 to 8 girls these last years who like my ex wanted me for just sex. or wanted money Guys and girls please answer and help. Where to find a girl a 6 and above who is not money hungry. For I dont have allot of money.
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27 / M / Toledo
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Posted 1/18/13
There is probably another topic like this but whatever. In my personal opinion there is no real good answer for these things. How to get over the person you love? If you really loved them I don't think you ever really get over them completely. I still haven't been able to get over a girl who died years ago. How to find someone new? Go out where there are people. You can meet someone anywhere and everywhere. The weirdest place might end up being where you bump into someone and start up a conversation and things progress from there. It isn't like there is some magical spot in every city where you can go there and find the person of your dreams.
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Posted 1/18/13
Sounds like it's time for some "you time."
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17 / Washington State
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Posted 1/18/13
well, i would start by avoiding her O_O lol
also, these things can't be solved by others, everyone is different, and you need to find what works best for you to get over her, shit, i am stuck on this one girl atm, and i don't think there is a way to get over her, but i try my best to be her friend.
maybe go out and shoot some stuff... that always helps ... (no im not a redneck O_O )
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21 / M / San Diego, USA
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Posted 1/18/13


Step one
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27 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 1/18/13
And old man dies...a young woman lives...

Fair trade.



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16 / M
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Posted 1/18/13
Well here is what I think with my experience. Looking to hard for a girlfriend, will 9/10 times lead to failiure. When you are so fustrated and obbesed with trying to find a girl, usally things turn for the worst. You're usally more desperate, which is unattractive. You could get very fustrated and depressed and even be emotionally unstable. When all you're doing is trying to find a girl, life also gets worse. Trust me just having a girl wont make you happy, no matter what you think. You need to slow down and enjoy life. I know this songs like one of those things that Motivational speakers say but its true. (so did that lol) My advice is, To just think about other stuff you like. I used to have this girl that i dated for a long time, and when we broke up i was really fustrated and sad and all i did was try to get over her and find someone else. Lets just say it didnt go anywhere. Thats when I started spending more time watching anime, writing on forums (heh) and just stuff i enjoy more. And you know what? i'm a lot happier now. It makes life a lot less stressfull and gives you more time to do stuff you like. I think you will also find a girl faster doing this because if you're doing things you like, you will be a happier, more nice and upbeat person which is more attractive to girls. Also you could meet that special lady WHILE doing the things you like to do, and a girl who has the same interests as you seem pretty sweet hue? Hope this helps even a little
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27 / M / Nowhere, MI
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Posted 1/18/13
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F / Urban South
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Posted 1/18/13
Karmacide has the right idea. That clip totally got me over whatsername. I wonder how she would do on a mechanical bull...
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100 / M / in the underworld...
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Posted 1/19/13
Good answers everyone, and advise.
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F / Mordor.
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Posted 1/19/13
Just think how the person you are with would feel if she knew you still had feelings for an ex? How would you feel if a girl you were with said, "I love you but will never fully love you because I still have feelings for an ex."

I think the best way to get over someone is to STOP talking to them or seeing them. No matter how painful it is. I was hung up on some guy and finally cut him out my life. No texts, no talking at work, no looking at him, no facebook. Nothing. Guess what? I got over him quickly and realize how foolish and pathetic I was for being hung up on him for so long and the moment I stop talking to him. I saw other people. I realized my best friend was someone I truly liked and guess what? I am with that best friend now. Because I let go, moved on, and stopped talking to that other guy. I am free and now with someone who is so much better and wonderful.

Don't be scared to stop talking to that ex-lover it is what you must do to truly get over her/him. And if that doesn't help... then go see a therapist.
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Posted 1/19/13
It been close to ten years for me and it ended with her telling me "You scare the shit out of me and I never want to see you again." It just takes time and you'll eventually find some one else just be patient. I ended up with a very good woman and we have a wonderful 16 month old daughter but I still have pictures of the one that hurt me on my computer and tattoed on me, it gets easier but you never quite forget.
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35 / M / New Orleans
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Posted 1/19/13
What I can tell you from personal experience is don't play games, and don't let her play games with you. Be firm, be committed to your no bullshit rule, let them know up front. Harden your heart so you can let the right one in, and drop the other ones like bad news. Above all, avoid a baby mama situation, protect yourself from 18 years of having a 3rd of your paycheck taken away by a chick you don't want to be with or who doesn't want you. Remember, no baby, no ring, no problem with ditching someone who isn't going to work out in the long run. You sound like a young fellow, take it to heart, don't waste time beating a dead horse. Oh and don't cheat, if you're playing the field, let them know there are others and your not making a commitment yet.v
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 1/19/13
Personally, I had to get over the desire for a relationship before the right one came to me. I dedicated to my own self growth and healing from the traumas I'd been through. I never felt like counseling would help me so I just studied on my own for 5 years and stayed away from women for that time. I gradually got more and more into spirituality and met those who are considered the highest masters on the planet that are teaching at this time. They're literally magical, beyond jedi masters. I had no idea such beings could exist. I had no idea that I could have such magical experiences that seemed like they could have come out of a fiction book.

By following their teachings and just by being exposed to them I gradually began to heal and become someone who loves myself and my life. For awhile I thought I would dedicate myself to being a monk and give up on a relationship but that was just past trauma still making me want to run away from a relationship. When I was ready, divine mother brought the perfect girl for me.

I believed in love at first sight, but nothing has ever come close to preparing me for the experiences I had when I met this girl. All the teachings I'd received suddenly made since and I felt like I had met my own personal divine mother. The way I experienced the world in ever way shifted. I mean, I perceive things completely differently now. Time almost has ceased to exist. I can't explain it.. I just know that I thought I knew what love was, but found out that it's potential was infinitely beyond what I'd ever imagined. She is not separate from my self.. She is beyond a soul mate, I've met those.. and close soul friends. She is me and I am her. Every thing she is is the perfect thing to help me heal from my past. When I hold her in my arms, everything ceases to be and I experience perfect contentment. The second I saw her we were astrally wedded and had no question that we would never seek for a partner again. I knew her better than anyone else without having to spend more than a second with her as it was like we shared the same soul. Perfect trust allowed the deepest communion..

Of course, we've had to work on ourselves to get back to the initial experience we had together. It was a show to us of what could be and we still have our own spiritual growth needed for ourselves to maintain such high states of awareness and love, but we're here to help each other achieve it and we have no doubts that we will succeed.

Relationships come to you to help you deal with something that's not resolved in your life and is holding you back. The more things you can let go of and the more you can love yourself, the better your chances of finding a soul mate or better. You can only love another to the extent that you love yourself just as you can only trust another to the extent that you trust and believe in yourself. In my experience, life gives you exactly what you deserve along with the experiences that help you transcend your past. Life gives you lessons, and if you don't learn them, the same lesson will come back stronger and stronger until your on your knees begging for release. Best to own up and admit to whatever pain or stress you carry so that you can let it go. If you start to do that, you'll be ready for a relationship that can help you take the process to the next level.

I went from a girl who attempted to commit suicide several times, where I was in the deepest levels of self loathing and pain for not being able to have the strength to help her and stay with her, to one that defies all description and goes beyond anything I'd ever dreamed that I could deserve in 5 years. It can be done in less, as this isn't an uncommon story. This is a world wide phenomena where many are finding soul mates more than ever before and in increasing numbers. It's getting easier and easier to heal with the more people that hop on board. The divine love is spreading fast.
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31 / M / Vancouver BC
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Posted 1/19/13
You never get over it, unless you can forget things at will. Moving on oft times means moving away, or shutting off contact with anything that would get you thinking about it, which is of course no where near as easy as saying it is. Many try to move on, but in their hearts are still holding on, hoping for some way for things to work out. When that soured hope holds you back from other happiness is when you will know despair. Don't lose hope in hope. Just don't hope for fantasy in reality.

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