First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  Next  Last
Why do good guys go for mean girls?
6471 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
101 / M / in the underworld...
Offline
Posted 1/21/13

Winterfells wrote:

Not all good guys, but a lot of your run-of-the-mill "good guys" with the All-American "aw shucks" chivalrous aura are pushovers. They're not pushovers because they're weak per se (sometimes it may be) but mostly because they care too much about other people's feelings, so they're willing to give in and put up with shit and endure for the sake of others.

Cue mean girls.

They can spot this from a mile away like a lioness stalking a wounded gazelle.

They impose their aggressive, pushy, manipulative nature onto these naive, optimistic guys who acquiesce and defer to the assertive "mean girl." A lot of good guys are in relationships with mean girls due to the mean girls being go-getters and the good guy (having some attraction) but not being able to say no.

Stay in the relationship long enough under the influence of Sauron and these guys eventually become pussy-whipped.


Thats makes since, allot of since. I think it to be true like a drop of blood in the water to a shark, they knoe they can get there way. I agree they don't always have to be week me I do mma and fell pray to a mean girl now I would father be single than be used my best friend strongest guy I know a man who takes no shit from men a mma fighter who just got back from war as he is in the Core takes crap from mean girls trys to please them, make them happy as I do. But am learning not to be a door mat to mean woman. some mean girls start off treating a good guy good then a switch flips and by then the guys hooked and in love. saddly works with fake nice guys too to good a woman
17167 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / USA
Offline
Posted 1/21/13
I don't think it's really that black and white. I think while "good" and "bad" are certainly valid personality types - I personally feel they are way too broad of categories to make any sort of accurate determination why "good" goes for "bad".

I don't consider myself either way - nor do I really count myself as attracted to "good" or "bad" girls. I have a pretty solid standard of morals and my biggest focus is always doing my best to keep my word no matter what - so that makes me come across as a "good" guy while at times I don't feel like I'm a great person at all. On the opposite spectrum I'm not really attracted to either "bad" or "good" girls, I simply have a set of things I find attractive emotionally, intellectually and physically. This may be due to my laid back and open minded nature - but I think everyone probably has some sort of compass they follow individually for both themselves and in their dealings with others.

I've had a lot of reflection time (aka: watching shit on Crunchyroll and sobbing man tears) due to a recent separation of a 4 year relationship - so I've been exploring my own motives, like and dislikes again as I enjoy being single and getting to know myself again. This relationship was with that I will simply label as "crazy girl" (often overlooked category) - so I learned a lot about living life, living with someone else - and learned a lot about what I don't like in a woman while getting the chance to learn things I didn't even know about myself.

tl:dr I don't really buy the "good" and "bad" girl/guy thing - anyone labeled that easily or accepting a label that easy wouldn't be a very interesting person (to me, at least - to each their own, right?).

Regards,

R-
23384 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / USA
Offline
Posted 1/21/13
This is exactly right. Assertiveness and self-confidence will always win over shy and timid. No matter how nice you are.

The trick is to be assertive and nice. Unfortunately most people associate assertive energy with negative energy or being a jerk. Nice guys need to try being assertive nicely. Try this: walk right up to the girl you like, put your hand out like you are going to shake hands. Look her in the eyes, "Hi i'm ___" When she gives you her hand take it and very gently kiss the back of her hand. Then look her dead in the eyes and say "You are very beautiful and I am going to take you to dinner/ice skating/whatever." Don't ask her, tell her you think she looks amazing and you are taking her out. After she loses her mind get her number and setup the date, or as I have been lucky enough to do go on the date right then because you are now the most important thing happening to her that day, and vice versa.

This can be applied throughout the entire date and now you can do the nice things you like to do. Ask questions to learn about her, tell her you like her hair/whatever. You will probably do some stupid sh*t because the girl you really want actually went out with you and you are freaking out so: make fun of yourself in a confident way if you do something stupid. "Nobody saw that", "No i'm fine, training to be a stunt man" Girls don't like guys that get pissed or freak out about messing up. Whining about anything is also not smart. Own your mistake. If you mess up with her make sure you make eye contact and be sincere when you apologize. This can turn a derp into romance.

Now dating a beautiful dance instructor I never would have considered asking out. Stop wondering, worrying, and asking. Just do. Be assertive, be nice, get the girl. Not only does it work but you can feel good because you are being honest and true to yourself. If they turn out to be manipulative or a jerk LEAVE THEM IMMEDIATELY.
17167 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / USA
Offline
Posted 1/21/13

AsuraCryin1980 wrote:

Overall have to state that a lot of people male and female alike are growing up too spoiled in general. You can factor life changing experiences as well as hanging out with bad apples who corrupt the good. But I have found the american girls I have met or even dated have been this way. They think it's cool to be rude, sponge gifts or abusive verbally/physically and even cheat on guys who care about them. Thing is there is a reason people stay with others like this and usually had something to do with parenting on your end or fact you haven't grown up enough to see and avoid relationships that have sketchy written all over them.

I changed my search years ago from fun/overall looks to someone who has a good head on their shoulders and can support themselves financially if it comes down to it. Emotionally if I care for this person i will do my best to help them, but am weary these days of those who cry wolf . And since I made that change I have not wasted my time with rotten apples.

Normal good hearted people don't seek others just for sexual satisfaction or waste time with, normal good hearted people look for someone to be honest with and spend their lives together. Until you change to better yourself, you will always let the bad ones in.


This, also. Well spoke. After 4 years of dealing with irresponsibility incarnate - financially, emotionally, everything - I'm really only interested in someone who's got their shit together at least to the same degree as me.

Again - well spoke sir.
8802 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M / Gotham City
Offline
Posted 1/21/13

MayBeTricky wrote:

Try this: walk right up to the girl you like, put your hand out like you are going to shake hands. Look her in the eyes, "Hi i'm ___" When she gives you her hand take it and very gently kiss the back of her hand. Then look her dead in the eyes and say "You are very beautiful and I am going to take you to dinner/ice skating/whatever."


I don't know man - seems pretty risky and isn't very subtle.

While I don't doubt that this has worked for you, I'm not sure whether it would work for a lot of guys out there. Like a comedian, saying a phrase or doing an act is 10% but the delivery is 90% of why something is effective, whether it's a pick-up line or a punchline to a joke.

And doing what you say; if it works, it works - if it doesn't it runs the risk of a woman calling the cops for sexual harassment.
23384 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / USA
Offline
Posted 1/21/13 , edited 1/21/13
That's kind of my whole point, if you do it with confidence and assertiveness you can do pretty much whatever you want, and get a positive response. So don't kiss her hand if you don't want, do whatever you feel represents YOU, but do it with assertiveness and energy.

This is the reason jerks and assholes are so successful, they are jerks with such conviction that it is magnetic. Women/men are drawn to them because they seem so sure of themselves. I grew up around friends that were cocky, "pimp", jerk guys that always had 2-3 girls at a time. It was wrong and I was always disgusted by it but they ALWAYS had a girlfriend and I usually did not, simply because of this difference. They said and did exactly what they wanted, I asked permission and worried too much.

You will almost definitely be rejected, or slapped, or made fun of when you first start trying this as you really have to own it. That is a given. Any doubt in your mind is contagious. Persevere, like anything worth having it takes effort. My problem was I simply did not understand what they were doing, now that I know and have corrected it I feel the need to share. Loneliness sucks.

Edit: and again the point to really emphasize here is this allows you to harness the power of the badass/jerk and still be a nice genuine individual. You dont have to be something you are not. This was what I always refused to do. Also I would really LOVE to see the court case where a guy is convicted for a chivalrous gesture like honoring a womans beauty. That would have to be one seriously messed up chick, and judge.
32691 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
17 / F / Alabama
Offline
Posted 1/21/13
maybe its because mean girls are assertive and probably approaches the nice guys and since this guy is nice he chooses to see the best in the mean girl and likes the attention. but im a girl so i really wouldnt know
2673 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / Sexual Chocolate
Offline
Posted 1/21/13
Because nice girls are lousy kissers?
48371 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / SoCal
Offline
Posted 1/21/13
Mean girls tend to look better and attractive good girls rarely show themselves.
4079 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / Vermont
Offline
Posted 1/21/13
Because usually the mean girls are also the popular attractive ones. People treat them different (better) because they're more stereotypically attractive, and this makes them start to believe they're better than other people, so they start acting more judgmental and mean. And guys are willing to ignore the meanness because more young guys just want an attractive girlfriend, arm candy that their friends will approve of.
akerk7 
19353 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
19 / F / Northeast America
Offline
Posted 1/21/13
I think its all subjective. These combinations just happen to stand out the most since they're the most unfair/frustrating
3629 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M / Wake Forest Unive...
Offline
Posted 1/21/13

malicust wrote:

Mean girls tend to look better and attractive good girls rarely show themselves.


Couldn't have said it better my self.
22680 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
19 / F
Offline
Posted 1/22/13
maybe some of the good guys in the world want the thrill of being with a mean girl???
953 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
29 / M / england
Offline
Posted 1/22/13

darkangel09rose wrote:


I wish you the same if you don't already have a nice girl. Yeah the fakes give the real ones a bad name lol plus they should know by now faking being a nice guy dosnt always end up in bed and or you its hard to tell these days not much honor romance and chivary left


Thanks. I don't yet, not even the mean girls want me haha. Yeah it does seem romance and chilvary are dying out but then it doesn't seem most women want that nowadays.
19158 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M / Birmingham, Ala
Online
Posted 1/22/13
I dont care if she mean or not as long as she do what I say we will be find.

My idea girl is a girl who can be themselves rather she is mean or nice but knows how to please her man. I has to come before everyone besides the kids, because I hate when other people bud in relationships ruining shit.

To answer your question I never see good guy with any kind of girls, they really do finish last because women like manly men not little crybaby punks. Only girls I see them with is leftover girls who probably can't get a good guy or had a fucked up relationship
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.