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It's the parent's fault
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31 / M / Las Vegas
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Posted 1/26/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

--until you reach 18.

Then what? Ever bad thing you've done when you were young was the fault of your parent for not disciplining you well enough and every thing leading to that point was your parent's fault. But once you hit 18, bing. Right after 12:00am on the day of your birthday. You're an adult now, it's your fault. I hear this phrase "It's the parent's fault" quite often

if bad things happen in the news because of a child's actions (young adult, youth, whatever you want to call it) it's the parent's fault for not controlling them well enough or for instilling bad morals.

I hate to say it, but I think sometimes...it's also the child's fault.

But wait, they are still young, not old enough to make decisions by themselves, but it still doesn't mean they can't. Reversing this idea, it not like once teens become adults, all the bad things they've learned resets and they cherry pick good actions to become better people, not typically anyways. There is a lot to think about here, so I'll just leave it as that.

as always, your thoughts?


That is why some minors are tried as adults, depending on the situation...

Children's behavior IS the fault of the parent (or a parent) because children pick up habits from their parents. If a parent cant keep their cool or has a short fuse when raising their child, then chances are the child will behave similarly. In some cases, the child make learn better from other influences but that would still be the result of someones parenting. So yea... whatever a child learns whether it be from their own parent or some behavior they picked up from a kid they are friends with or a kid from school, its still the parents fault because a parent somewhere either did or didnt do what they were supposed to do.
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27 / M / The heart of Linc...
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Posted 1/27/13
Only some parents are to blame. I say this because only the parents whom are ignorant of morality and believe that they have no responsibilities or obligations to ensure their children grow up with what harms others, are responsible.

It isn't a black and white question though. Some actions by children are self aware, in that they know it is wrong and harmful but they still do it. These children are either influenced by children or an outside influence. Or a combination of them. With some children, they still do not see their consequences of he actions they implement. Where as some know full well the harm they cause.

The problem is finding the trigger, the root of what causes the individual's actions and thus an answer/solution might be found. The scary thing is what I've witnessed for myself firsthand. That the parents can be very loving, that the child comes from a caring environment but they do horrible acts because they wish it. They enjoy the suffering they give to others, the pain both physical and psychological, simply because they can do it. There's no reason for it, no trigger for it except they relish the cruel actions they inflict.

The only solution is to try changing their ways, show them the consequences of the road they are walking down. If that doesn't work, then there is no solution but their consequences. Which is the worst kind of lesson.
Posted 1/29/13
The failures of children are the failures of the parents. And sometimes the children are just too fucking mentally undeveloped to get it right and should have been thrown in a wood chipper.
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Posted 2/24/13
I, being a parent myself, believe that it is my responsibility to prepare my child for "the real life". That being said, I use a method called "Love & Logic". The basic principle is to let the child learn from their mistakes and let them make their own decisions as often as possible.

If you believe that you can "train" a child to make a "right decision" you're delusional and obviously don't have kids of your own. You can only lead a horse to water....

Like everyone else, they learn best by making mistakes. Let them pay for small mistakes while they're still very young and the price will be small - like a broken toy - and avoid paying an exponentially higher price when they're older for the same lesson.
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22 / M / NJ, USA
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Posted 2/24/13

turborobo wrote:

The failures of children are the failures of the parents. And sometimes the children are just too fucking mentally undeveloped to get it right and should have been thrown in a wood chipper.


That is true. Bad people are indeed the result of bad parenting. No one is inherently evil at birth.


SeraphimAda wrote:

I, being a parent myself, believe that it is my responsibility to prepare my child for "the real life". That being said, I use a method called "Love & Logic". The basic principle is to let the child learn from their mistakes and let them make their own decisions as often as possible.

If you believe that you can "train" a child to make a "right decision" you're delusional and obviously don't have kids of your own. You can only lead a horse to water....

Like everyone else, they learn best by making mistakes. Let them pay for small mistakes while they're still very young and the price will be small - like a broken toy - and avoid paying an exponentially higher price when they're older for the same lesson.


BINGO! Parents should be their mentors, their guides. They should prepare them for the real world by giving them good morals and by teaching them responsibility. Nowadays, no one wants to take responsibility for their actions and are disillusioned about the consequences of their actions. Kids at a young age need to learn about the consequences as a result of their actions.
Posted 2/24/13
A lot of knowledge is gained from parents, but at 18, or whenever you begin your adult journey, it's your own will from now on.
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26 / M / Pandemonium
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Posted 2/25/13 , edited 2/25/13
Parents can only be blamed partially, and unless proof comes to suggest otherwise, only up to when children start living their own lives.
A.k.a. when they become teenagers.
From that point on, most of what matters isn't what the parents think or do, but what the kids' peers do.



turborobo wrote:

The failures of children are the failures of the parents. And sometimes the children are just too fucking mentally undeveloped to get it right and should have been thrown in a wood chipper.


Are you expecting children to be fully developed even when they're still kids?
Also, I hope you weren't serious about that last remark...



Chopsuey9444
That is true. Bad people are indeed the result of bad parenting. No one is inherently evil at birth.


Yes, of course. Because as we all know, there is nothing else in the world that can make people bad.
Only the parents are to blame... Nothing else that they may or may not have encountered in their lives...
Posted 2/25/13

Syndicaidramon wrote:

Parents can only be blamed partially, and unless proof comes to suggest otherwise, only up to when children start living their own lives.
A.k.a. when they become teenagers.
From that point on, most of what matters isn't what the parents think or do, but what the kids' peers do.



turborobo wrote:

The failures of children are the failures of the parents. And sometimes the children are just too fucking mentally undeveloped to get it right and should have been thrown in a wood chipper.


Are you expecting children to be fully developed even when they're still kids?
Also, I hope you weren't serious about that last remark...



Chopsuey9444
That is true. Bad people are indeed the result of bad parenting. No one is inherently evil at birth.


Yes, of course. Because as we all know, there is nothing else in the world that can make people bad.
Only the parents are to blame... Nothing else that they may or may not have encountered in their lives...


Yes, I am the overbearing father who feels that every family has a hierarchy. Since I brought children into this world, I can also take them out. It's old school shit, yo. Better not be any B+ grades or I'll fucking crucify a nigga.
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26 / M / Pandemonium
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Posted 2/25/13

turborobo
Yes, I am the overbearing father who feels that every family has a hierarchy. Since I brought children into this world, I can also take them out. It's old school shit, yo. Better not be any B+ grades or I'll fucking crucify a nigga.


So then what's up, bro? You disrespectin', bra'?
Posted 2/25/13 , edited 2/25/13

Syndicaidramon wrote:


turborobo
Yes, I am the overbearing father who feels that every family has a hierarchy. Since I brought children into this world, I can also take them out. It's old school shit, yo. Better not be any B+ grades or I'll fucking crucify a nigga.


So then what's up, bro? You disrespectin', bra'?


I am the High Expectations Asian Father. "No figure out how to open worm hole?? That's no Sunday off for you!!!"
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Posted 2/25/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

--until you reach 18.

Then what? Ever bad thing you've done when you were young was the fault of your parent for not disciplining you well enough and every thing leading to that point was your parent's fault. But once you hit 18, bing. Right after 12:00am on the day of your birthday. You're an adult now, it's your fault. I hear this phrase "It's the parent's fault" quite often

if bad things happen in the news because of a child's actions (young adult, youth, whatever you want to call it) it's the parent's fault for not controlling them well enough or for instilling bad morals.

I hate to say it, but I think sometimes...it's also the child's fault.

But wait, they are still young, not old enough to make decisions by themselves, but it still doesn't mean they can't. Reversing this idea, it not like once teens become adults, all the bad things they've learned resets and they cherry pick good actions to become better people, not typically anyways. There is a lot to think about here, so I'll just leave it as that.

as always, your thoughts?


It depends upon whether you believe in free will or not.

If you believe in free will, then the child is ultimately responsible for their own actions.
If you do not believe in free will, then nobody is responsible for anything - the universe is simply the way it is.
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25 / M / Hughesville, Penn...
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Posted 2/26/13 , edited 2/26/13

turborobo wrote:

Yes, I am the overbearing father who feels that every family has a hierarchy. Since I brought children into this world, I can also take them out. It's old school shit, yo. Better not be any B+ grades or I'll fucking crucify a nigga.


I have a 3.2 gpa, better send me off to the wood chipper, father.
Posted 2/26/13

lordseth23 wrote:


turborobo wrote:

Yes, I am the overbearing father who feels that every family has a hierarchy. Since I brought children into this world, I can also take them out. It's old school shit, yo. Better not be any B+ grades or I'll fucking crucify a nigga.


I have a 3.2 gpa, better send me off to the wood chipper, father.


Why not a 4.0 at least? I want you to start a new standard of 10.0 with scholarships to Japanese and Finnish colleges or I'll get the fucking belt out.
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25 / M / Hughesville, Penn...
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Posted 2/27/13

turborobo wrote:

Why not a 4.0 at least? I want you to start a new standard of 10.0 with scholarships to Japanese and Finnish colleges or I'll get the fucking belt out.


Better get that belt out then.
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22 / M / Delaware
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Posted 2/27/13
Scratch 18, I'd say 13. As soon as they become teenagers is when they need to take accountability for their actions. Not doing so is when these 18-year-olds, with some new found freedom, run rampant, believing daddy will bail them out of trouble.
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