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Did you have a girlfriend who played around with other men?
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24 / M / United States
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Posted 2/7/13

Liahna wrote:


tarel wrote:


Liahna wrote:

Eventually you will find someone you can trust.


What can I gain from that?


Happiness


Exactly what Lia said when you find someone you can love and trust it's the most wonderful feeling you can ever experience... that being said it's extremely difficult to do so.
Berry King Moderator
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Posted 2/7/13
You can never influence a person to change to become what you want especially if it is over the internet. Your personal story about your girlfriend though, I am quite sorry for you being used by her.

An actual girlfriend or boyfriend who cares about you is one who personally whenever you are in a situation where you cannot escape or crying in some corner, they are there for you and joke about it later (in a teasing manner of course). When they want something and you offered to get it for them, they should right away tell you "No I don't want you spending money on blah blah blah." They can lie about it of course, but the one who won't make a fool out of you is the one who feels guilty you are spending on them. Also don't spend anything on any girl (or guy) if you don't even know each others' own addresses.

Did you have her phone number or was it just through skype? Online relationships that sometimes work out come from actually communicating each other outside the internet, but again sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Commitmentttt. Also her stating that she committed suicides in the past, that is probably most likely a lie as she was luring you and telling you something sad in order for you to feel empathetic towards her. BUT it could be the truth but who knows.

Lastly, since you met her or whatsoever on an mmo, you know in some (or most, depending on how one views) mmos people like to use other people to gain game items and etc.. She's probably playing women too b/c hey girls can be guy characters too! Reverse trap!
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Posted 2/7/13
Love is just giving someone the ability to hurt you more than you can imagine.

I'm going to go cut myself while listening to My Chemical Romance.
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24 / M / United States
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Posted 2/7/13 , edited 2/7/13

mochacafe wrote:

You can never influence a person to change to become what you want especially if it is over the internet. Your personal story about your girlfriend though, I am quite sorry for you being used by her.

An actual girlfriend or boyfriend who cares about you is one who personally whenever you are in a situation where you cannot escape or crying in some corner, they are there for you and joke about it later (in a teasing manner of course). When they want something and you offered to get it for them, they should right away tell you "No I don't want you spending money on blah blah blah." They can lie about it of course, but the one who won't make a fool out of you is the one who feels guilty you are spending on them. Also don't spend anything on any girl (or guy) if you don't even know each others' own addresses.

Did you have her phone number or was it just through skype? Online relationships that sometimes work out come from actually communicating each other outside the internet, but again sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Commitmentttt. Also her stating that she committed suicides in the past, that is probably most likely a lie as she was luring you and telling you something sad in order for you to feel empathetic towards her. BUT it could be the truth but who knows.

Lastly, since you met her or whatsoever on an mmo, you know in some (or most, depending on how one views) mmos people like to use other people to gain game items and etc.. She's probably playing women too b/c hey girls can be guy characters too! Reverse trap!



Thanks Mocha it was Skype only though, I asked her to webcam numerous times. She would not agree to, I even bought her a web camera at one point and it made her very angry. Which is a major sign of being a pawn, the fact she would not give me her phone number either even though I had a phone with international minutes should have been one also :\
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Posted 2/7/13

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

Trust no one. Not even yourself. If possible verify all information obtained. Happiness and everything else will always be temporary in the grand scheme of things. There is no point getting too hung up on it.


You are right, happiness is just a part of life and not all of it. However there are people who had a little moment of happiness and can't repeat that feeling anymore, they know that even if it was a short time it is the most precious thing they have. If you can't trust in yourself nobody is going to trust in you. Don't be scared about getting hurt, we all know about pain and it's because of that we know how valuable is just a moment of happiness.
Berry King Moderator
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Posted 2/7/13

Zenairis_Serean wrote:

Thanks Mocha it was Skype only though, I asked her to webcam numerous times. She would not agree to, I even bought her a web camera at one point and it made her very angry.


Did you have skype calls where you can hear her voice?
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24 / M / United States
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Posted 2/7/13

mochacafe wrote:


Zenairis_Serean wrote:

Thanks Mocha it was Skype only though, I asked her to webcam numerous times. She would not agree to, I even bought her a web camera at one point and it made her very angry.


Did you have skype calls where you can hear her voice?


Yes that's the most we ever did though.
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27 / M / Toledo
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Posted 2/7/13

Liahna wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

Trust no one. Not even yourself. If possible verify all information obtained. Happiness and everything else will always be temporary in the grand scheme of things. There is no point getting too hung up on it.


You are right, happiness is just a part of life and not all of it. However there are people who had a little moment of happiness and can't repeat that feeling anymore, they know that even if it was a short time it is the most precious thing they have. If you can't trust in yourself nobody is going to trust in you. Don't be scared about getting hurt, we all know about pain and it's because of that we know how valuable is just a moment of happiness.


I know. I had my moment of happiness but then it got overshadowed by regret and pain. The more I remember the happiness I had the more it hurts. I think it is better to just not bother with any of it when given a choice. As for being trusted, it simply isn't necessary. I don't need anyone to trust me in order to function in the world. I don't really know if I can claim I am not afraid of being hurt or not though. I want to say I'm not but at the same time I choose to avoid allowing it to happen so maybe that means I am. Either way I give no value to a moment of happiness if it will just end up being like the last one.
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Posted 2/7/13 , edited 2/7/13

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

I know. I had my moment of happiness but then it got overshadowed by regret and pain. The more I remember the happiness I had the more it hurts. I think it is better to just not bother with any of it when given a choice. As for being trusted, it simply isn't necessary. I don't need anyone to trust me in order to function in the world. I don't really know if I can claim I am not afraid of being hurt or not though. I want to say I'm not but at the same time I choose to avoid allowing it to happen so maybe that means I am. Either way I give no value to a moment of happiness if it will just end up being like the last one.


Why that happy memory turned unfortunate and painful? If it's because you think it's lost, the best you can do is try to find more of those, and if they end up being sad again, keep looking more until they stop being sad.
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Posted 2/7/13
you got pwned!!!
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25 / M / Bonne Lake, WA
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Posted 2/7/13
No offense, but relationships in any persistent game should not be taken as something that can easily be something IRL. Most MMO's are Role Playing games, or games where some people intend to not be themselves, or to behave differently than real life. They also play them to get away from real life. They can often times tell stories to try and seek sympathy from others.


That being said, I have known people who met in online games that do end up together. Most of my examples are in counter strike though. The people were part of the server community first and not in it to seek a relationship as well. It was more along the lines of 2 of them got along real well, and one asking to meet up real life to see how well they get along. They ended up married.

The problem with your story is that you had some plans for a relationship before ever even seeing her face. You need to approach it as more of a friends thing, and hanging out. It also helps if neither really gains from the relationship in game in any particular way, like you leveling up her crafting or something. The general sense becomes you doing something nice for her, and then expecting a relationship out of it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you didn't have any sort of relationship, but the fact that you never met and that she may have been open with you on very personal things is more along the lines of someone who needs a friend that doesn't know their face, and that doesn't have any physical contact with them. The idea here is that you are a safe person to talk to, and a person that will respond to them, to acknowledge their problems and show concern for their point of view. There are many people who play online games for this purpose.

On the internet is the one place where you get to know someone purely based upon how they express themselves. You may think this leads to a much more meaningful relationship because of that, but you are mistaken. This can only bring friendship. The type of relationship you are looking for needs to have a physical aspect to it. It is one thing to judge a person based on their grammar, level of and type of vocabulary, or the sound of their voice. It is another thing to know how their face wrinkles when they are happy, how they squint their eyes when they are upset, or the way they puff up when indignant, and pout with a frown when you tease them. This kind of relationship is scary. You spend a couple decades bracing yourself against the abrasiveness of the world, and then you find someone who sees through it all. There is nothing more frightening than being defenseless, but it is also exciting to know that they are in the same boat.

You won't find that kind of relationship purely on the internet. There needs to be some physical communication (being in person).





Also, people tend to exaggerate when they are on the internet. Anyone who can easily talk of how suicidal they are isn't really that suicidal. More like attention whoring.
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Posted 2/7/13

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


Liahna wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

Trust no one. Not even yourself. If possible verify all information obtained. Happiness and everything else will always be temporary in the grand scheme of things. There is no point getting too hung up on it.


You are right, happiness is just a part of life and not all of it. However there are people who had a little moment of happiness and can't repeat that feeling anymore, they know that even if it was a short time it is the most precious thing they have. If you can't trust in yourself nobody is going to trust in you. Don't be scared about getting hurt, we all know about pain and it's because of that we know how valuable is just a moment of happiness.


I know. I had my moment of happiness but then it got overshadowed by regret and pain. The more I remember the happiness I had the more it hurts. I think it is better to just not bother with any of it when given a choice. As for being trusted, it simply isn't necessary. I don't need anyone to trust me in order to function in the world. I don't really know if I can claim I am not afraid of being hurt or not though. I want to say I'm not but at the same time I choose to avoid allowing it to happen so maybe that means I am. Either way I give no value to a moment of happiness if it will just end up being like the last one.


I'm sorry that happened :\ I know it's very a painful feeling.
Mr_Ed 
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Posted 2/7/13
I think you are looking for comfort so I will help you get it. You are not the only one that has been through your situation and you wont be the last one either. Live and learn and you move on. at this point nothing will go back to the way it used to be and so is better if you just move on. You really should look for someone who you can actually see in person instead of just online. There is alot of girls out there who wants a real nice guy like you but dont forget that they also want a man which means you cant be soft and throwing stuff at them all the time. Find someone else closer to you and make her know she makes you happy, BUT dont kiss ass man. They hate ass kissers.
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Posted 2/7/13 , edited 2/7/13

karmacide wrote:

Love is just giving someone the ability to hurt you more than you can imagine.


I very much agree.
"Love" if there is such a thing (which i doubt..) is over rated.
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19 / M / Delaware
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Posted 2/7/13 , edited 2/7/13

Zenairis_Serean wrote:




You both have be mutually accepting of each other's faults, willing to be there for your other no matter what the circumstance unless they cheated on you. Forgiveness and commitment.

I don't think it's the sweetest poison, it's just what you feel is right guided by what you know is wrong.

Unfortunately 90% will not understand the above, what a sad reality we have come to as society today.


My former ended up breaking up with me for the very reasons she tried to commit suicide for in the past, now she's flinging around with other men, she's taking the songs she created for me and, the accounts I built for her on LoL as well square's games them to spend time with other men, I honestly cannot believe she's taking it that far, I should have expected this with her pirating thousands of dollars of musical synthesis software to make those pieces in the first place.

Have you ever had a girlfriend who plays men like this?


To answer your question, No, I have never had a girlfriend play me 'like that'.

And to be honest, my reaction to this is... simply... wtf. Mainly because... that's confusing.
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27 / M / Toledo
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Posted 2/7/13

Liahna wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

I know. I had my moment of happiness but then it got overshadowed by regret and pain. The more I remember the happiness I had the more it hurts. I think it is better to just not bother with any of it when given a choice. As for being trusted, it simply isn't necessary. I don't need anyone to trust me in order to function in the world. I don't really know if I can claim I am not afraid of being hurt or not though. I want to say I'm not but at the same time I choose to avoid allowing it to happen so maybe that means I am. Either way I give no value to a moment of happiness if it will just end up being like the last one.


Why that happy memory turned unfortunate and painful? If it's because you think it's lost, the best you can do is try to find more of those, and if they end up being sad again, keep looking more until they stop being sad.


Without going into too much detail she died and the last things I said to her, while she was trying to be extremely nice to me, were pretty bad. So I am pretty much done with all of that kind of stuff.
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