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Did you have a girlfriend who played around with other men?
Posted 2/8/13

GayAsianBoy wrote:

This thread kind of makes me angry (not at anyone), I'm just angry at life in general.

It feels like the sincere people tend to meet insincere people most of the times. And to be honest, I'm kinda scared for myself, since I'm sincere and I'm scared that I'll meet someone who isn't sincere.

Online or real life, it's the same thing. In real life, I seriously can't tell if someone's insincere until I've been hurt. People put all sort of pretenses.

But you know, I've been hurt before too... and I'm not going to let bad experiences make me lose trust in people. I want to think positively. I know it's rare for two good people to meet, but such is life.


I'll finish my post with a quote from a song by The Magic Numbers "Hymn for her" - "It won't hurt to find love in the wrong place, I've been hurt before but all the scars have rearranged" http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=1nxxaPXgAXM#t=98s


I've been pretty insincere for as long as i can remember, so hopefully you don't meet people like me. Jut wanted to say, the magic numbers are a cool band and that the clues are always there it's just sincere people choose to be swept away easily which is why thy can get hurt easily
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Posted 2/8/13

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


Liahna wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

I know. I had my moment of happiness but then it got overshadowed by regret and pain. The more I remember the happiness I had the more it hurts. I think it is better to just not bother with any of it when given a choice. As for being trusted, it simply isn't necessary. I don't need anyone to trust me in order to function in the world. I don't really know if I can claim I am not afraid of being hurt or not though. I want to say I'm not but at the same time I choose to avoid allowing it to happen so maybe that means I am. Either way I give no value to a moment of happiness if it will just end up being like the last one.


Why that happy memory turned unfortunate and painful? If it's because you think it's lost, the best you can do is try to find more of those, and if they end up being sad again, keep looking more until they stop being sad.


Without going into too much detail she died and the last things I said to her, while she was trying to be extremely nice to me, were pretty bad. So I am pretty much done with all of that kind of stuff.


That is tragic indeed. I hope you don't mind me chiming in here, but from your posts on this thread I can tell that you have clinical depression, which obviously was triggered by this event. I can tell because I used to suffer from it myself. You tell yourself you don't need anyone and trusting another is foolish. Yet at the same time you talk about how your happiness is overshadowed by pain and regret. You blame trusting another for how you feel right now, but in reality your manufacturing all the pain and sorrow yourself because you could not deal with this event in a healthy manner. Your punishing yourself because you hate yourself for saying those things and you might even possibly blame yourself subconsciously for her death. It does not always have to be this way, however, and the road to happiness is far less treacherous than you think.

I would recommend telling someone close to you about all this. You need other people now more than ever. You need to start going to therapy sessions in order to overcome this. The reason you don't trust anyone right now is because you know subconsciously if you open up to someone, your going to have to deal with this for real. Your not crazy, you probably won't even need meds, all you need to do is take therapy seriously and tell the full truth, and nothing but, to your therapist. The longer you wait to deal with this issue, the more you really will waste what precious time you have left on this earth. That is what you will truly regret in the end.

I highly recommend telling someone close to you, but if you don't feel comfortable enough to tell someone irl, feel free to PM me and we can talk more in private. You can be happy again, its not as hard as you think.


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Posted 2/8/13
If my GF did that, I wouldn't even be with her right now.
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Posted 2/8/13

Wiliest wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


Liahna wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

I know. I had my moment of happiness but then it got overshadowed by regret and pain. The more I remember the happiness I had the more it hurts. I think it is better to just not bother with any of it when given a choice. As for being trusted, it simply isn't necessary. I don't need anyone to trust me in order to function in the world. I don't really know if I can claim I am not afraid of being hurt or not though. I want to say I'm not but at the same time I choose to avoid allowing it to happen so maybe that means I am. Either way I give no value to a moment of happiness if it will just end up being like the last one.


Why that happy memory turned unfortunate and painful? If it's because you think it's lost, the best you can do is try to find more of those, and if they end up being sad again, keep looking more until they stop being sad.


Without going into too much detail she died and the last things I said to her, while she was trying to be extremely nice to me, were pretty bad. So I am pretty much done with all of that kind of stuff.


That is tragic indeed. I hope you don't mind me chiming in here, but from your posts on this thread I can tell that you have clinical depression, which obviously was triggered by this event. I can tell because I used to suffer from it myself. You tell yourself you don't need anyone and trusting another is foolish. Yet at the same time you talk about how your happiness is overshadowed by pain and regret. You blame trusting another for how you feel right now, but in reality your manufacturing all the pain and sorrow yourself because you could not deal with this event in a healthy manner. Your punishing yourself because you hate yourself for saying those things and you might even possibly blame yourself subconsciously for her death. It does not always have to be this way, however, and the road to happiness is far less treacherous than you think.

I would recommend telling someone close to you about all this. You need other people now more than ever. You need to start going to therapy sessions in order to overcome this. The reason you don't trust anyone right now is because you know subconsciously if you open up to someone, your going to have to deal with this for real. Your not crazy, you probably won't even need meds, all you need to do is take therapy seriously and tell the full truth, and nothing but, to your therapist. The longer you wait to deal with this issue, the more you really will waste what precious time you have left on this earth. That is what you will truly regret in the end.

I highly recommend telling someone close to you, but if you don't feel comfortable enough to tell someone irl, feel free to PM me and we can talk more in private. You can be happy again, its not as hard as you think.


I don't really disagree with you. My depression started back when I was 6 years old though. Long before that event whether people believe that or not. Another thread in this section has part of the reason for that. There is no one close to me. Therapy never helped and never will. Sorry for keeping this answer short but I just really don't want to get into it all too much and I have a headache so trying to keep my thoughts in order isn't working out too well. I appreciate what you said though.
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Posted 2/8/13
Wow! What a question! Imagine catching yer GF with another man, in yer own bed..... wait for it....... fast forward five years! Going to work one day you see her standing on a street corner wearing a pink evening gown.....I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!!!!... at 5:35am Hair was much shorter & she had gained a few pounds, somehow she had aged @ 15 more years (crack is a hell of a drug when it comes to its effects on human biology!) As she walked up (shall I say oozed ) & asked "You lookin fer a party?"............... Every day I wake up I think of an asian proverb that states "If you wait by the river long enough you will see the body of your enemy float by." As I have stated before this is a true story. She now has two kids she will never see EVER! (the state has seen to that.) I still see her now & again hanging around the bus stop on my way to work & I don't know whether to be sad or thankfull......
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Posted 2/8/13 , edited 2/8/13

SpamMeBot wrote:

I've known a few girls who would do this kind of behavior whether it's internet or real life. It's either they didn't have enough attention at home from mommy and daddy so they'd seek some loving from random people. Or they are too confident about their appearance or themselves, so they'd go around, show it off, and get their attention from that. Now, girls aren't the only ones doing this. Boys do this kind of stuff as well.


You've got this last part backwards. People don't cheat because they have an overabundance of confidence, but exactly the opposite. Cheating in otherwise healthy relationships usually comes from a place of insecurity -- a constant feeling of, "I'm not good enough for him/her," and, "he/she's probably cheating on me." This insecurity is the driving force behind thoughts like, "I may as well cheat, because he/she probably doesn't even love me, anyway," or "he/she doesn't appreciate me, I need to find someone who really does," etc.

More often than not, these thoughts are conjured up by the insecure person's brain even when there is nothing at all wrong or amiss with the relationship, simply because they can't get away from the feeling that something bad is going to happen, their heart is going to be broken, that they are being somehow deceived and aren't actually loved, or that the other person is probably cheating on them. All generally baseless fears and assumptions, all made terrifyingly "real" by insecurity and low self-esteem.

People that cheat are unhappy. They can't settle down, because their insecurity creeps up and tells them that something is wrong, something is off, something bad is going to happen and they're going to get hurt. So they make the first move, cheating and moving on to the next conquest. Then cheating on that one, eventually, too. Their insecurity rules their lives, and they can never trust, they can never settle down, and they can never accept the possibility that someone can (and DOES) truly love them. Onward they move, searching for acceptance, as well as constant comfort and reassurance, seeking someone who can make them feel valued and worthy.

Unfortunately, they'll never find themselves in a healthy relationship, because that can't happen. Not for long. That value, that worth, has to come from within. If a person does not value him/herself, he/she will constantly find reasons in his/her mind to believe that others don't value/love him/her, either. Friendships are volatile and infrequent with these types of people, because they often feel as if their friends don't care about them as much as they care about their friends. Their relationships only last as long as it takes for someone to get tired of devoting their every waking moment to reassuring the insecure one. The other can only take so many accusatory "Why were you talking to him/her?! You like him/her, don't you?!" confrontations. It's tiresome, and eventually it either becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading them to feel justified in having felt that way in the first place, or the insecure party cheats and breaks things off, or they get cheated on because they've tortured their significant other so much that they become insecure, as well, and begin needing reassurance.

I could make that more concise and clear, but I don't really want to. Insecurity feels rambly and disjointed. Fitting that an explanation of it would be, as well.

Anyway, how do I know all this? I lived it. It ruined relationships. It ruined friendships. It got me cheated on. It made me dump women purely out of my insecure suspicion and unhappiness. There was nothing wrong, there was no reason for me to feel insecure, but I did. I've never cheated, but I understand that people in that situation often do, and it has led me to understand exactly why.

So trust me when I say it's not confidence.


SpamMeBot wrote:Now for your ex-partner to say that she wanted to commit suicide, that's just a straight up lie. Since this relationship of yours was online, (maybe) the reason why she said that is because she doesn't want to see you, so she'll make you assume that she is "dead" from a fake suicide, but in reality she's still alive doing her cyber one night stand with other guys on the net. Anyway, for her to be pirating and stealing stuff is illegal and she should be charged.

For a relationship to crumble because of a partner who is cheating on you, don't even be sad about it. Just be glad you got yourself out from your ex partner's trap.


She's insecure, unhappy, and probably not kidding at all about feeling suicidal/depressed.

That said, don't bother with online relationships.
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Posted 2/8/13


justanotherguy_2005 [link url="/forumtopic-791515/did-you-have-a-girlfriend-who-played-around-with-other-

I don't really disagree with you. My depression started back when I was 6 years old though. Long before that event whether people believe that or not. Another thread in this section has part of the reason for that. There is no one close to me. Therapy never helped and never will. Sorry for keeping this answer short but I just really don't want to get into it all too much and I have a headache so trying to keep my thoughts in order isn't working out too well. I appreciate what you said though.


Now that you say that, you sound exactly like me from a few years ago.I had had mine all my life as well. I also went to a few therapy sessions, but never took them seriously. Looking back I think things would have been much easier had I believed in it from the start and actually kept my end of the bargain, which is why I recommended that. I also did not have anyone I felt I could open up to. I didn't want to try medicine either, because I felt medicine was for quitters, and I hate quitters. What helped me through it was meditation and exercise. Simple breathing meditations help you reconnect with yourself and you feel absolutely amazing after you do it. It only takes 10-15 minutes to do, and I would definitely check it out if I were you. Exercise releases endorphins, which also helps you feel great. They say to think positive thoughts, but that was mostly useless for me. A better way to approach it, in my opinion, is to try to stop dwelling on the negative. There are several different types of mood disorders as well so you might want to do a little online research and see if anything sticks out to you. Don't lose hope because the only way it wins is if you stop trying.

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Posted 2/8/13

Wiliest wrote:



justanotherguy_2005 [link url="/forumtopic-791515/did-you-have-a-girlfriend-who-played-around-with-other-

I don't really disagree with you. My depression started back when I was 6 years old though. Long before that event whether people believe that or not. Another thread in this section has part of the reason for that. There is no one close to me. Therapy never helped and never will. Sorry for keeping this answer short but I just really don't want to get into it all too much and I have a headache so trying to keep my thoughts in order isn't working out too well. I appreciate what you said though.


Now that you say that, you sound exactly like me from a few years ago.I had had mine all my life as well. I also went to a few therapy sessions, but never took them seriously. Looking back I think things would have been much easier had I believed in it from the start and actually kept my end of the bargain, which is why I recommended that. I also did not have anyone I felt I could open up to. I didn't want to try medicine either, because I felt medicine was for quitters, and I hate quitters. What helped me through it was meditation and exercise. Simple breathing meditations help you reconnect with yourself and you feel absolutely amazing after you do it. It only takes 10-15 minutes to do, and I would definitely check it out if I were you. Exercise releases endorphins, which also helps you feel great. They say to think positive thoughts, but that was mostly useless for me. A better way to approach it, in my opinion, is to try to stop dwelling on the negative. There are several different types of mood disorders as well so you might want to do a little online research and see if anything sticks out to you. Don't lose hope because the only way it wins is if you stop trying.



Yea I tried the whole meditation and exercise stuff. It just doesn't do anything for me. Positive thoughts always turn negative so I just mostly choose to sleep life away. I have come to terms with things the way they are and I have no problem letting it win out and just giving up. I might have a mood disorder but it's hard for me to really care at this point. I can still function well enough and I can even help other people from time to time. It works out fine enough in the end.
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Posted 2/8/13 , edited 2/8/13

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


Wiliest wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


Liahna wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

I know. I had my moment of happiness but then it got overshadowed by regret and pain. The more I remember the happiness I had the more it hurts. I think it is better to just not bother with any of it when given a choice. As for being trusted, it simply isn't necessary. I don't need anyone to trust me in order to function in the world. I don't really know if I can claim I am not afraid of being hurt or not though. I want to say I'm not but at the same time I choose to avoid allowing it to happen so maybe that means I am. Either way I give no value to a moment of happiness if it will just end up being like the last one.


Why that happy memory turned unfortunate and painful? If it's because you think it's lost, the best you can do is try to find more of those, and if they end up being sad again, keep looking more until they stop being sad.


Without going into too much detail she died and the last things I said to her, while she was trying to be extremely nice to me, were pretty bad. So I am pretty much done with all of that kind of stuff.


That is tragic indeed. I hope you don't mind me chiming in here, but from your posts on this thread I can tell that you have clinical depression, which obviously was triggered by this event. I can tell because I used to suffer from it myself. You tell yourself you don't need anyone and trusting another is foolish. Yet at the same time you talk about how your happiness is overshadowed by pain and regret. You blame trusting another for how you feel right now, but in reality your manufacturing all the pain and sorrow yourself because you could not deal with this event in a healthy manner. Your punishing yourself because you hate yourself for saying those things and you might even possibly blame yourself subconsciously for her death. It does not always have to be this way, however, and the road to happiness is far less treacherous than you think.

I would recommend telling someone close to you about all this. You need other people now more than ever. You need to start going to therapy sessions in order to overcome this. The reason you don't trust anyone right now is because you know subconsciously if you open up to someone, your going to have to deal with this for real. Your not crazy, you probably won't even need meds, all you need to do is take therapy seriously and tell the full truth, and nothing but, to your therapist. The longer you wait to deal with this issue, the more you really will waste what precious time you have left on this earth. That is what you will truly regret in the end.

I highly recommend telling someone close to you, but if you don't feel comfortable enough to tell someone irl, feel free to PM me and we can talk more in private. You can be happy again, its not as hard as you think.


I don't really disagree with you. My depression started back when I was 6 years old though. Long before that event whether people believe that or not. Another thread in this section has part of the reason for that. There is no one close to me. Therapy never helped and never will. Sorry for keeping this answer short but I just really don't want to get into it all too much and I have a headache so trying to keep my thoughts in order isn't working out too well. I appreciate what you said though.


Never lose hope. Its always darkest before the dawn. I now sometimes can seem hopeless and terrible but you never know when something or someone amazing could happen to you. I met a very special person when I was going through depression and anxiety for a couple years and they gave me hope in people and life again. I hope you meet such a person too as they came as close to fixing me as I believe is possible. They enabled me to be happy again even though we're not very close anymore.
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Posted 2/8/13

Goomoonryong

Never lose hope. Its always darkest before the dawn.


Such a funny phrase, as dawn refers to the time it starts getting brighter out as the sunlight creeps over the horizon, but the sun has not risen yet.
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Posted 2/8/13
Seems like the only type that is drawn to me. =x Sucks being charminng some times. xp
Posted 2/8/13
Eh, had a guy I know was fooling around on me.
But he was my first boyfriend.
I didn't want to get dumped so quickly.
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Posted 2/9/13
Better to be alone and feel alone than be with someone and feel alone.
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Posted 2/10/13
I hate it when girls cheat on me, but I don't mind if they are cheating with me. Selfish? I like to call it human nature but even that's not quite right.
Posted 2/10/13
GO OUT AND GET LAID u need to learn how to treat a hoe like a hoe
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