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Is a woman’s life pointless without children?
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19 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 2/11/13

Morbidhanson wrote:

I don't think so. Nobody NEEDS kids to be happy.


It's all about dem' cats.
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25 / M / California
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Posted 2/11/13

Shrapnel893 wrote:


Morbidhanson wrote:

I don't think so. Nobody NEEDS kids to be happy.


It's all about dem' cats.


Cats are nice. And Nutella.
Rajyrr 
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23 / M / Nova Scotia, Canada
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Posted 2/11/13
Happiness is only experienced when you function best. Such function can only be found within yourself. Virtue, the factor independent of the environment around you, or even your own instincts, is the true key to happiness.

Human beings are hard-coded to feel happy when they drink, eat, sleep, or have sex. These are not the epitome of proper function in regards to what can make you happy. Children will not necessarily bring you happiness. They may, in fact, detract from it.

Always remember the peace you feel when you read a good book. The peace you feel when you go on a good walk. The peace you feel when you chat with a good friend. These are acts of virtue.

Virtue is any act that fulfills proper function, after all. (That includes murder, in the case of homicidal psychopaths, of course.)
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29 / M / Las Vegas
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Posted 2/11/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

So another argument (yes, again) I've encountered. I told someone I didn't think I'll have children in the future nor do I want to. So in response this person said, "How do you know you won't want to have children in the future?" I don't know, but as of right now these are my feelings. Also, I just don't think I'll be a good parent. While talking, the girls around me acted like what I was saying was unreasonable. As if they couldn't believe their ears.

"Why wouldn't you want kids? what would you do when you get old?"
OMG JUST WHAT WOULD I DO??? Play with my iCane or something -____-"""
"but that's soo......"
Empty?
"yeah"

Apparently my life is meaningless if I don't bear children. My life is not centered around having kids, that's not what I envision for my future, and I don't believe that's my sole purpose in life. I know it's not as close minded as I'm making it out to be, but it's either you want to, or you don't. ...and I don't. So what I got was "yeah, but still......" It seems to me that people think: you can get an education, get a job, and achieve all your dreams, find your soul mate ...but you better have kids in the end, because that's just how it is



Its your life... Tell that person to worry about theirs and you will continue to lead your own. End of story.
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20 / F / Parallel Mooniverse
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Posted 2/11/13 , edited 2/11/13
[spoiler[

FlyinDumpling wrote:

So another argument (yes, again) I've encountered. I told someone I didn't think I'll have children in the future nor do I want to. So in response this person said, "How do you know you won't want to have children in the future?" I don't know, but as of right now these are my feelings. Also, I just don't think I'll be a good parent. While talking, the girls around me acted like what I was saying was unreasonable. As if they couldn't believe their ears.

"Why wouldn't you want kids? what would you do when you get old?"
OMG JUST WHAT WOULD I DO??? Play with my iCane or something -____-"""
"but that's soo......"
Empty?
"yeah"

Apparently my life is meaningless if I don't bear children. My life is not centered around having kids, that's not what I envision for my future, and I don't believe that's my sole purpose in life. I know it's not as close minded as I'm making it out to be, but it's either you want to, or you don't. ...and I don't. So what I got was "yeah, but still......" It seems to me that people think: you can get an education, get a job, and achieve all your dreams, find your soul mate ...but you better have kids in the end, because that's just how it is


I have the same thoughts you do. I don't want children but my mom and friends or like what how do you know? And in the future you will change your mind. I don't like kids and I don't think Id be a good parent. So I hate other women who are like their life revolves around getting married and having children. Women can do so much more now.... So believe what you want to and later in life only u can decided what makes you happy.
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20 / F / Parallel Mooniverse
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Posted 2/11/13

Morbidhanson wrote:


Shrapnel893 wrote:


Morbidhanson wrote:

I don't think so. Nobody NEEDS kids to be happy.


It's all about dem' cats.


Cats are nice. And Nutella.


Lol go NUTELLA XD Kitties are cutee also so they are totally nice
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22 / F / Chicago IL
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Posted 2/11/13
I agree I dont want kids and actually found out i medically cant have them i was upset that i have no choice in the matter but not upset in the fact that "I'm not a real woman" which was actually said to me by my boyfriend at the time. needless to say we were not together long after that. Anyway my point you are a woman for being strong and independent not because you can have some kids aparently anybody can do that in todays age.
Tarya 
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35 / F / Glen Allen, Virgi...
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Posted 2/11/13
I have always wanted kids, although I am nervous about what type of mother I would be. But unfortunately, I have been trying for 9 years and haven't gotten lucky yet, so I guess there are other plans for me.
I still have a few years left before it would become more of a danger to keep trying...but the longer I go on, the more I think it won't happen.
Which is sad. I think about all the "what-ifs" and am a little injured inside.

Then I think of all the free time I have because I don't have children. All the free time I have spent with my husband just doing the things we want to do...not worried about money and time off...just going and doing because we can. That is pretty fun and I wouldn't trade the time I have gotten to spend with the love of my life either.
So while I wasn't granted children, other gifts have been given instead, and I think I might have to settle for that.

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25 / M / California
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Posted 2/11/13
Most people can have kids, but kids cost a lot of money and won't necessarily make anyone happy. There's no point in investing in a child if you're not absolutely certain you want one. Not only will you suffer, but the child will as well. The weight of creating a life can become a burden for the unprepared. What you wish to do with your life is your choice. If you don't want kids, it obviously won't mean that you are a useless person or that your life was pointless. Saying that not having kids makes a woman's life pointless is like saying that not sleeping with many women makes a man's life pointless. A stupid thing to say.
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F / Urban South
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Posted 2/11/13

Tarya wrote:
I have always wanted kids, although I am nervous about what type of mother I would be. But unfortunately, I have been trying for 9 years and haven't gotten lucky yet, so I guess there are other plans for me.

Sorry. It is rough to try and not succeed; it starts to feel like a curse or a plot against you. You may have PCOS. It is the primary cause of infertility in the U.S., and if you have it you could increase your chances of conceiving by taking metformin and certain regimens of birth control.
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14 / F / Arizona
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Posted 2/11/13
No one's life is pointless.
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M
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Posted 2/11/13
wut no, given it's in the genetic makeup to want to have children but no it doesn't mean it's pointless
Tarya 
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35 / F / Glen Allen, Virgi...
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Posted 2/11/13

mhibicke wrote:


Tarya wrote:
I have always wanted kids, although I am nervous about what type of mother I would be. But unfortunately, I have been trying for 9 years and haven't gotten lucky yet, so I guess there are other plans for me.

Sorry. It is rough to try and not succeed; it starts to feel like a curse or a plot against you. You may have PCOS. It is the primary cause of infertility in the U.S., and if you have it you could increase your chances of conceiving by taking metformin and certain regimens of birth control.


I actually do have PCOS, you are correct. I have been undergoing treatment for a long time. My fertility specialist is one of the best in my state though. I had dermoid tumors removed in '05 - there were three; one was as large as my uterus, one the size of a grapefruit and the other the size of a Ping-Pong ball...in any case, my doctor told me up front that he may not be able to save my ovaries. As it was, he did - he only had to remove a small section of the left ovary.
He has had me on metformin forever - to the point where I am intimately associated with most the bathrooms in the Richmond area. Taking 4-500mg pills a day is rough on the stomach...
I have taken Clomid. I have taken Femara. Neither did much - other than make sure I had a cycle. But even when using test strips for ovulation, my doctor couldn't always see where I had ovulated even if I tested positive.
He did further surgeries to remove adhesions from the original surgery. He removed a mass from my uterus (non-cancerous). My husband and I tried several rounds of artificial insemination. Nothing.

As far as he can tell, there shouldn't be any further issues. He even was a little creepy and said I "have a beautiful uterus" (lol).
I decided to take a break back in September when my father-in-law passed away, and then we had the holidays, my insurance plan changed and I just haven't been back to see him...
I do need to make an appointment though, if nothing else, just to check and make sure everything is still okay. I do have another dermoid that he is keeping an eye on.

I may try again. Last my doctor told me, he wanted to start over from scratch and maybe up my medications - possibly going to injections. He thinks that even with pills I am only releasing one egg...which he said isn't giving me much more of a chance than a normal person trying to get pregnant. And since I am not normal, he would rather I release at least 2-4 eggs a month to give me a better chance...
So depending on the money involved, we will start trying again.

I do know that we probably will not try in-vitro. My insurance doesn't cover it, and my doctor already told me it is $15k +. Bummer that there is no government assistance to get pregnant (especially when you seem to be able to get help to end a pregnancy... ).
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F / Urban South
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Posted 2/11/13

Tarya wrote:


Sounds like you're in good hands. I also take four of those horse pills a day, so I know how it feels to get sick at random times. If you haven't been put on a spironolactone regimen you may want to look into that, as it acts as an androgen receptor antagonist as well as a diuretic. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you can find the courage to face all the people that don't deserve to be parents and consider their children burdens.
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20 / M / Brooklyn, New York
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Posted 2/11/13

Misaki1433 wrote:

No one's life is pointless.


Your pic combined with what you said made think you were talking to the love of your life lmao
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