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Is a woman’s life pointless without children?
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F / ᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡɪɴᴅ
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Posted 2/9/13 , edited 2/9/13


Even if I was allowed to have children (my disease says nope don't have them), I wouldn't want them. It's your choice and your body. If someone feels like you are less than for not having a big family, then that's their problem and skewed opinion. Some people feel more complete with a huge family. I feel more complete with a nice house and nice things that kids aren't gonna ruin.
Posted 2/9/13
a619ko 
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21 / M
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Posted 2/9/13





Hey, don't go around posting pictures of me.
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Posted 2/9/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

So another argument (yes, again) I've encountered. I told someone I didn't think I'll have children in the future nor do I want to. So in response this person said, "How do you know you won't want to have children in the future?" I don't know, but as of right now these are my feelings. Also, I just don't think I'll be a good parent. While talking, the girls around me acted like what I was saying was unreasonable. As if they couldn't believe their ears.

"Why wouldn't you want kids? what would you do when you get old?"
OMG JUST WHAT WOULD I DO??? Play with my iCane or something -____-"""
"but that's soo......"
Empty?
"yeah"

Apparently my life is meaningless if I don't bear children. My life is not centered around having kids, that's not what I envision for my future, and I don't believe that's my sole purpose in life. I know it's not as close minded as I'm making it out to be, but it's either you want to, or you don't. ...and I don't. So what I got was "yeah, but still......" It seems to me that people think: you can get an education, get a job, and achieve all your dreams, find your soul mate ...but you better have kids in the end, because that's just how it is


Your life could be pointless even with children.
You need to find what YOUR meaning is. For some people that is children sure, even if adopted just in the hopes they are remembered by someone.
The longer you wait to find this though the harder it is to find. Good luck.
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Posted 2/9/13
I feel a somewhat of a traditionalist, sexist feel to this question. A woman is a human, and humans seem to make their own goals to life, so obviously there would be more to life to a woman than mere children. How silly.
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32 / F / Buried under a pi...
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Posted 2/9/13
Kids are time consuming and expensive (and I'm not just talking about college. Diapers and baby products--what do they put IN those things to make them so expensive?! You have to feed them, buy clothes for them, children are real money drainers).

I'll also throw this out there: I work as a paralegal (I assist an attorney) and I mainly deal with family law. In other words, DIVORCE. I have seen VERY MESSY ones. Kids and real property (houses and that sort of thing) really complicate things. It might not be too surprising that that has only reinforced my thought that I NEVER want kids, nor do I ever want to get married. Too many things can go wrong and I don't want to put myself through that. And I've never wanted to have kids anyway. I have heard the speal, "Oh, you never know." I'm 31. If I haven't found "The One" by now, it's not gonna happen and I'm perfectly happy with that. I have no tolerance for children so I don't think I'd be a very good parent anyway. With the way the news is these days (financial cutbacks to schools, gangs, school rules that seem a bit crazy to name a few), I'm glad I DO NOT have kids.

If you can find "The One," stay in a happy marriage, have kids, and be a good parent, more power to you. If you can be a single parent, I applaud your courage because that must be super tough. I'm 31 and I have no desire whatsoever to have kids. I couldn't support them financially, I hate loud things (that would include kids), and am quite content as I am. I really do not think a woman's life is pointless without kids. As was pointed out before, a man's life is not pointless if he chooses to not have children, so the same rules apply to women. You shouldn't have kids just because everyone ELSE wants you to. Having kids is YOUR decision. (And NOT something you should decide on lightly either.) If for some reason I wake up one day and decide I want a kid, there's always adoption.
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26 / F / AnimeWorld
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Posted 2/9/13 , edited 2/10/13
Ok.... I'm 12
I'm shy around guys cant talk to them and I mean I cant I stutter (I act normal though around my dad and brothers but not people related to me idk why???)
I'm scared of thinking about what you have to do to have children... I still don't know... wont ask my ask parents...
this reason makes me not wanna have children but I love kids even though I'm a kid myself.... so basicly ill adopt? Lol.... My school dosen't have reproducing classes and all that but I don't think about this stuff often......ok.... I do....
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23 / F / United States
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Posted 2/9/13
I've luckily never had this happen to me, but for anyone to say a woman needs to have children is disillusioned by society and old fashioned gender roles. I personally don't want to have children, even though I do fine with children, I just don't think I would be that great of a parent. No one has the right to tell woman that life would be meaningless without having children.
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23 / F / United States
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Posted 2/9/13 , edited 2/9/13

AmuchanYoru wrote:

Ok.... I'm 12
I'm shy around guys cant talk to them and I mean I cant I stutter (I act normal though around my dad and brothers but not people related to me idk why???)
I'm scared of thinking about what you have to do to have children... I still don't know... wont ask my ask parents...
this reason makes me not wanna have children but I love kids even though I'm a kid myself.... so basicly ill adopt? Lol.... My school dosen't have reproducing classes and all that but I don't think about this stuff often......ok.... I do....


You don't need to worry so much about that right now, hopefully your parents will be smart enough to tell you the changes your body will go through as you get older. Whether you decide to have kids or not is entirely up to you, no one else has the right to make that choice for you.
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26 / F / AnimeWorld
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Posted 2/9/13
Thankyou
Finally I posted what i've been thinking for a while.....
Posted 2/9/13

AmuchanYoru wrote:

Ok.... I'm 12
I'm shy around guys cant talk to them and I mean I cant I stutter (I act normal though around my dad and brothers but not people related to me idk why???)
I'm scared of thinking about what you have to do to have children... I still don't know... wont ask my ask parents...
this reason makes me not wanna have children but I love kids even though I'm a kid myself.... so basicly ill adopt? Lol.... My school dosen't have reproducing classes and all that but I don't think about this stuff often......ok.... I do....


Make it simple on yourself, you're 12.
Enjoy being 12 and being a kid.. you won't be for very long.
All that other stuff comes later, there's no reason to rush it.
toxxin 
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22 / In my own little...
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Posted 2/10/13
meh, I'm pretty sure my family tree ends with me. Don't let it bother you sure procreating is an important part of the human race's survival but it certainly isnt the only thing to focus on and besides if everyone had children we'd end up like India(1.2 billion people)
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30 / F / California, near...
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13
Having or not having children is a red herring. Your life is only pointless if you allow it to be pointless- children or no children. I know plenty of people who live aimlessly even though they have kids and I know people who have no children who do not wish to make anything of their lives. So too do I know people with kids who are volunteering or making music and art, and people who have no children who are enjoying rich and meaningful lives.

I find it funny how it's always seen as a "woman" thing to want children or to find meaning in having children, as though men cannot want this too. Having children is not for everyone. What is important is respect for one another's choices and the social acceptance factors.

You are allowed to make your own decisions about your own life. But I find it just as distasteful to hear people talk disparagingly about people who have kids (calling them "breeders" and stuff) as people who have kids and say awful things about those who do not.

I have two young daughters and I love them very much, but they are not my whole life. There are many many things to do, and many ways for me to contribute to my world. I think that anyone who decides to have children should be aware that making kids your reason for living is a dangerous thing to do because once they're grown up, you'll have nothing left. It is important to balance all of your various aspects of life and do your best to enjoy and experience them as you wish.
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F / Earth
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Posted 2/10/13


Geez. This is one of the many reasons why I homeschool my kids, so they can be kids and not be pressured to be mini adults. At that age all you should be thinking about are all the toys you want, not having kids.
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30 / F / California, near...
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Posted 2/10/13
@PhyongHwa- I think it's normal to think about having children and stuff when you're young- it's part of the curiosity of life. Not necessarily WANTING to have kids at a young age, but a curiosity about life and death, and about birth. I remember that I watched my mom go through two other pregnancies, births and childcare of my younger siblings and as a kid I was fascinated. I knew it was hard work and that actually doing it would be something for Adult Me in a Stable Relationship after Talking With My Spouse, but it was something that I wanted to learn and understand more about.

I felt that it did us a disservice for schools to only focus on abstinence only education. The first time I kissed a boy in high school, I was SURE I was going to get pregnant because some semen leaked through his pants and might possibly have gotten on my hand when I had reached over to steady myself during the kiss. It took awhile (and lots of internet research on sites like Scarletteen and Google) to actually get more in depth honest information about safer sex practices so that when I was ready (18 with a steady boyfriend), I could be safe and NOT get pregnant when I wasn't planning on having a baby.

But yeah, most adults don't want to hear it, but as a person goes through puberty, they do get "those feelings" and their bodies do start hormonally changing. It doesn't mean they are ready for sex or parenthood, but it does mean that it is totally normal to want to know more about it because the changes of puberty are scary and seem to come from nowhere.

There is no harm in learning about sex and sexual feelings. Sometimes it is comforting to know that you're "normal" and that other people are going through these problems as well.

And I somewhat disagree about the whole "sex in the media" thing. My parents REALLY sheltered me from the media and a lot of other stuff, and I still had crushes on boys and developed sexual feelings randomly because of hormone surges, etc. I didn't have sex with another person, but it was incredibly confusing and traumatizing to feel like my body was just going haywire. It would have felt a lot better to have a guiding and instructional support from my parents, teachers, and educational materials.
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