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Is a woman’s life pointless without children?
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23 / M / Middle of Nowhere...
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Posted 2/10/13
Yeah, lifes pointless if shes not in the kitchen.......
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23 / F / philly
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Posted 2/10/13
I think that there are a lot of things in which people assume something is wrong with you if you don't choose the beaten path, which is just an unfortunate truth, but you shouldn't feel bad just because you don't choose whatever is standard. I for one am the youngest in a really large family, and my siblings are all spread out which always gave me a good scope of things as I was growing up just by watching all my siblings, and still even now. It may be because I'm used to being a youngest child and never had to worry about kids, but they just make me uncomfortable. I feel like I want to do so many things in life, and explore and learn and create things...and all of these things I feel like I barely have time to do now. Of course it's selfish of me to want to put myself first like that, but I'd rather be a really productive person and still be able to care about my family and friends, without the burden of having children that will always be there all the time. That being said, I think it's more responsible when you know that's the kind of person you are to choose not to have kids. I feel like if I had kids, I couldn't give them the proper attention and love I felt they needed, so I would rather only have them if I knew I wholeheartedly embraced it.
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M / 20.0167° N, 155.6...
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Posted 2/10/13

OninoTenshi wrote:

Having or not having children is a red herring. Your life is only pointless if you allow it to be pointless- children or no children. I know plenty of people who live aimlessly even though they have kids and I know people who have no children who do not wish to make anything of their lives. So too do I know people with kids who are volunteering or making music and art, and people who have no children who are enjoying rich and meaningful lives.

I find it funny how it's always seen as a "woman" thing to want children or to find meaning in having children, as though men cannot want this too. Having children is not for everyone. What is important is respect for one another's choices and the social acceptance factors.

You are allowed to make your own decisions about your own life. But I find it just as distasteful to hear people talk disparagingly about people who have kids (calling them "breeders" and stuff) as people who have kids and say awful things about those who do not.

I have two young daughters and I love them very much, but they are not my whole life. There are many many things to do, and many ways for me to contribute to my world. I think that anyone who decides to have children should be aware that making kids your reason for living is a dangerous thing to do because once they're grown up, you'll have nothing left. It is important to balance all of your various aspects of life and do your best to enjoy and experience them as you wish.


I like what you said.... your life is pointless if you make it pointless....... thats why I choose to have fun in what ever I do.... its my mission in life
Posted 2/10/13
You damn sexist
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F / Earth
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

So another argument (yes, again) I've encountered. I told someone I didn't think I'll have children in the future nor do I want to. So in response this person said, "How do you know you won't want to have children in the future?" I don't know, but as of right now these are my feelings. Also, I just don't think I'll be a good parent. While talking, the girls around me acted like what I was saying was unreasonable. As if they couldn't believe their ears.

"Why wouldn't you want kids? what would you do when you get old?"
OMG JUST WHAT WOULD I DO??? Play with my iCane or something -____-"""
"but that's soo......"
Empty?
"yeah"

Apparently my life is meaningless if I don't bear children. My life is not centered around having kids, that's not what I envision for my future, and I don't believe that's my sole purpose in life. I know it's not as close minded as I'm making it out to be, but it's either you want to, or you don't. ...and I don't. So what I got was "yeah, but still......" It seems to me that people think: you can get an education, get a job, and achieve all your dreams, find your soul mate ...but you better have kids in the end, because that's just how it is


If someone feels their life is meaningless, then they lack direction...not kids......time for some self-reflection.

I really don't see the point of even thinking about having children unless you are getting serious with someone and you might get married.....then you BOTH have to discuss it together beforehand. Marriage was the last thing on my mind until I met my husband.....so kids were even further on my mind even though I've been taking care of other people's children since I was 12 (as a baby sitter, and at daycare when I was older). My beliefs (became) are that having children is (one of many) an expression of love and a vocation. A natural progression in the many stages of marriage (another vocation). Not to say that not having kids is bad, just saying some marriages have that stage & some skip it. Everyone's different, so you can't expect all marriages to be the same.

After I married my husband 22 years ago I had a strong desire to have children with him despite my fears, (but we did wait a few years until we felt we were both ready)......same for him. What made me get over my irrational fears was realizing that women have been giving birth since the very beginning and that our bodies are specifically made for that process. Also, that whatever pain that is endured is transient, it will end, you only have to have the strength of will until it ends. The birth of my first son was uneventful, but my subsequent pregnancies were high-risk (and all were without pain meds except the c-section/ I give birth quickly). I have had cerclages, spinal blocks, amniocentesis, Terbutaline pump, prolonged bed rests, confinement to a wheelchair, a c-section, and loss of a twin early in a pregnancy, etc. I have endured, but I do have to say, that if not for my faith and the love and support of my husband, I would not have been able to.

We have 4 now (the oldest will be 18 and the youngest will be 4 this year) and although more would be welcome, my failing health would make it too risky for both myself and any prospective child I carry. Our fourth child (the surviving twin) also was born with a rare (rare like the only known person in the world) genetic deletion, you wouldn't know he had anything wrong just by looking at him, but he has a myriad of disabilities & advanced abilities. Statistically speaking, having children with special needs either makes a marriage stronger, or breaks a marriage, the latter being the most commonly happening scenario. We are part of the few where our faith and the love and support we find in each other has given our marriage strength and our son the support & love he needs to overcome his difficulties and prosper.

Just in case anybody's wondering, he is doing very, very well, part in thanks to his brothers, therapists, doctors, & his first cousin once removed (by giving him the tools to learn sign language, which prompted speech) who really care about and love him. This experience has taught me it really does "take a village". God bless them all.


"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
But as for prophecies, they will come to an end;
as for tongues, they will cease;
as for knowledge, it will come to an end."
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
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25 / Behind you
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Posted 2/10/13
Life is pointless in general. At least externally.
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20 / M
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Posted 2/10/13

thefinalword wrote:


wtfbbq68 wrote:


thefinalword wrote:

there are certain stupid people ( usually the ones roaming around wal-mart )
that don't need to be having kids.


Assumptions. And how would you know? If you're the retarded looking loser in your picture, you seem to lack the capabilities to have kids (let alone get laid). And since I assumed you can't have kids, that makes you worse off than those wal-mart bozos who do have kids. Thus you are a burden on mankind for being unable to carry on the species.


Uh oh, I touched a nerve with you.
you must shop at wal-mart.



Never shopped a day at wal-mart, nor will I ever step foot in that slave factory. But here you go with assumptions again. I'd probably touch a nerve of yours but, your sensory organs are too small, similar to the rest of your external organs, you wouldn't feel it. Am I right?
Tl;dr? You're overcompensating for something you lack, by looking down and generalizing on a group of people whom you observe shopping at the same place you shop too.

This game of assumptions is boring.
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Posted 2/10/13
A life doing nothing is a point in and of itself. No matter what you do in life, you will have accomplished something, or somethings, eventually. Even if you do not know it yet.

It's a matter of perspective, and it is only oneself who decides whose perspective weighs more onto them.
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33 / M / ICQ: 114629959
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Posted 2/10/13
Pointless question.
The only meaning of life is to reproduce. So if you are satisfied with just this biological definition, you may answer "yes", but this holds then also true for males. Personally I stronly object this pure biological definition. The sole reason I'am here is that my parents got horny somewhere down the line, but it's my life now... so it's up to me what I do with it and I think its uttermost hubristic for others to philosophy about its worth in general.

On the downside its pretty easy to break a life's worth down to different aspects like biology, economy, science, etc...
Still, sometimes the value of the whole is more than the sum of its parts.
Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13
yes but all so yes for men because humans would not be alive ............ ¬.¬!

well women there to get pregnant and bring new life in to the world so they are pointless

but men there to get women pregnant and tbh i don't see man going no i don't wont to have sex


both genders pointless if there not willing to get it off
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23 / M / Missouri
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

So another argument (yes, again) I've encountered. I told someone I didn't think I'll have children in the future nor do I want to. So in response this person said, "How do you know you won't want to have children in the future?" I don't know, but as of right now these are my feelings. Also, I just don't think I'll be a good parent. While talking, the girls around me acted like what I was saying was unreasonable. As if they couldn't believe their ears.

"Why wouldn't you want kids? what would you do when you get old?"
OMG JUST WHAT WOULD I DO??? Play with my iCane or something -____-"""
"but that's soo......"
Empty?
"yeah"

Apparently my life is meaningless if I don't bear children. My life is not centered around having kids, that's not what I envision for my future, and I don't believe that's my sole purpose in life. I know it's not as close minded as I'm making it out to be, but it's either you want to, or you don't. ...and I don't. So what I got was "yeah, but still......" It seems to me that people think: you can get an education, get a job, and achieve all your dreams, find your soul mate ...but you better have kids in the end, because that's just how it is


I get the feeling you've never had much contact with babies or children. You can't help but love them and want to make them happy. They become the greatest joy of your life. They become more important to you than yourself. Unless you're a shit parent. AKA shit human being.

Looking at it from an inexperienced PoV I can see how people wouldn't want children. But seriously... they just have no idea what they are missing. The challenge of raising a child is greatly out measured by the joys of raising a child.. Listening to their first word, their first sentence. The first time they solve a math problem. The feeling of pride you get watching your children grow.. When they succeed you feel that you've succeeded. When they fail or lose their way you show them your understanding and support; help them to get back on track. Preparing for their future becomes your greatest meaning in life, because without them.. there is no meaning.. no purpose.. They are your legacy and through them you are immortalized on this earth; Not by name or appearance.. but through your actions that are carried on forever through the children you leave behind.

Good enough reason to have kids?
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F / on a cloud
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Posted 2/10/13
Nope, I am rather happy with my life.
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23 / M
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Posted 2/10/13

Oldthrashbar wrote:


FlyinDumpling wrote:

So another argument (yes, again) I've encountered. I told someone I didn't think I'll have children in the future nor do I want to. So in response this person said, "How do you know you won't want to have children in the future?" I don't know, but as of right now these are my feelings. Also, I just don't think I'll be a good parent. While talking, the girls around me acted like what I was saying was unreasonable. As if they couldn't believe their ears.

"Why wouldn't you want kids? what would you do when you get old?"
OMG JUST WHAT WOULD I DO??? Play with my iCane or something -____-"""
"but that's soo......"
Empty?
"yeah"

Apparently my life is meaningless if I don't bear children. My life is not centered around having kids, that's not what I envision for my future, and I don't believe that's my sole purpose in life. I know it's not as close minded as I'm making it out to be, but it's either you want to, or you don't. ...and I don't. So what I got was "yeah, but still......" It seems to me that people think: you can get an education, get a job, and achieve all your dreams, find your soul mate ...but you better have kids in the end, because that's just how it is


I get the feeling you've never had much contact with babies or children. You can't help but love them and want to make them happy. They become the greatest joy of your life. They become more important to you than yourself. Unless you're a shit parent. AKA shit human being.

Looking at it from an inexperienced PoV I can see how people wouldn't want children. But seriously... they just have no idea what they are missing. The challenge of raising a child is greatly out measured by the joys of raising a child.. Listening to their first word, their first sentence. The first time they solve a math problem. The feeling of pride you get watching your children grow.. When they succeed you feel that you've succeeded. When they fail or lose their way you help them get back on track. They are your legacy and through them you are immortalized on this earth even if you are not remember by name or appearance. Your actions are carried on forever through the children you leave behind.

Good enough reason to have kids?


No, and I agree with almost everything you've just said. You're assuming that you should do everything you could possibly enjoy, which is not possible (probably). For example, I enjoy watching anime, and I enjoy playing video games. Now, I could spend nearly all of my leisure time watching anime, and not run out for a long time. Likewise, I could do the same with games. If I replaced "raising a child" with "watching anime," your argument says that I should watch anime. I could do the same with games. However, I could not possibly exhaust both, so I've arrived at a contradiction by saying that I should use all my leisure time on two things that I could not do at the same time -- not that video games and anime are comparable to kids.

My point here, is that while raising a child is pretty damn awesome, there are also a lot of other things that are pretty damn awesome, and in order to argue that you should raise a child on the grounds of it being awesome, you need to show that it is more awesome than all the other awesome things you could be doing instead. I don't think you'd argue that you don't need to give up any awesome things in exchange for kids, so I'll assume that you're trying to say that raising kids is the pinnacle of awesomeness, or at least, that you could do awesome-er things while raising kids. At any rate, I'll say that I do indeed want kids, but I can also understand the idea that there are more fulfilling things than having kids, and that happiness is perfectly achievable without them. I find that learning about the world and thinking about things is one of the most fulfilling things I've done, and I could easily see myself spending the rest of my life doing that, and still being happy EVEN WITHOUT CHILDREN. I could even see myself being happier without children. Still, at this point, I'd rather have them. Plus, it's not like we have any shortage of people here anyway.
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M / Where you are.
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Posted 2/10/13
I dont think so. there is more to life then kids.
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20 / M / In Abby's heart a...
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Posted 2/10/13
No? A man does not always have kids and his life does not turn out meaningless. This is just stereotyping women -_- like get in the kitchen and cook me a samich! then take care of the kids while I watch nascar...
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