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Is a woman’s life pointless without children?
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23 / M / Missouri
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13



Do as I do and do all the things you love. When your children are old enough you just watch anime and play video games with them. Yes, I understand that is basically what you just said. And yes. I do understand people can be happy without children. But to me.. honestly its like.. whats the point? Why not bring another human into this world and share all my happiness with them? In my opinion; that is far greater than enjoying it all myself. Would be too selfish.
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13

Oldthrashbar wrote:




Do as I do and do all the things you love. When your children are old enough you just watch anime and play video games with them. Yes, I understand that is basically what you just said. And yes. I do understand people can be happy without children. But to me.. honestly its like.. whats the point? Why not bring another human into this world and share all my happiness with them? In my opinion; that is far greater than enjoying it all myself. Would be too selfish.


Like I said, my reasons are very similar for having kids. For the most part (like you said -- unless you're a shit parent) kids are people with whom you always have some connection, and can almost always share happiness with. Not even spouse's have that claim. For me, that's pretty cool. However, I can share my happiness with people that are not my kids, and if I am close enough, I can gain implicit support and share with them as much as I can with kids. I'd say kids are the easiest way to get that, but it's not the only way, and if you can have people like that, then technically speaking, kids are just overkill -- not to sound callous, but they are a waste of time if you already have access to the main perks. There are some things that kids have that are nigh impossible to find elsewhere, but there are also a lot of things that are better than those secondary perks. I'd say that the biggest reason, by far, that I want kids is the implicit connection you have with them, and it's something I've thus far felt only from my family. If I can find that connection without kids though, why not use my time doing other things? Why expend so much effort on something I already have? Most of the people on here that say they don't want kids haven't stated it that way, but in a way, it's nearly the same. An implicit connection is something that most people value pretty highly, so chances are good that if they don't want kids, they think they will already have something equally fulfilling. Granted, a lot of them are teenagers too, and will probably feel different at some point, but if they don't, it's not necessarily against their well-being -- they might be better off without kids.
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Posted 2/10/13
I use to work for a beacon program for children. Obviously, you have only encountered little angels. Beings a bad parent doesn't make you a terrible human being. It just means, you shouldn't raise a child. Having children you're not willing to raise but still keeping them anyways makes you stupid...and I don't want to be stupid. Honestly, I don't want them to be a legacy of my being because they will not grow up to be the best people, or have the best childhood. Children aren't test trials where if you screw up, you can just pop out a new one. Are people suppose to prove that they are not "shitty human beings" by having children and expecting themselves to become good parents?

You are romanticizing child rearing as if it's a perfect fluffy world, like all the other bad things that come along are easily avoidable and doesn't hurt. What if all the challenges out weight the joy? How can you be so sure it isn't the other way around? How do you know you won't screw up completely? Why would you believe that your reason justify that everyone should have kids?
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Posted 2/10/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

I use to work for a beacon program for children. Obviously, you have only encountered little angels. Beings a bad parent doesn't make you a terrible human being. It just means, you shouldn't raise a child. Having children you're not willing to raise but still keeping them anyways makes you stupid...and I don't want to be stupid. Honestly, I don't want them to be a legacy of my being because they will not grow up to be the best people, or have the best childhood. Children aren't test trials where if you screw up, you can just pop out a new one. Are people suppose to prove that they are not "shitty human beings" by having children and expecting themselves to become good parents?

You are romanticizing child rearing as if it's a perfect fluffy world, like all the other bad things that come along are easily avoidable and doesn't hurt. What if all the challenges out weight the joy? How can you be so sure it isn't the other way around? How do you know you won't screw up completely? Why would you believe that your reason justify that everyone should have kids?


I think you are being too hard on yourself. I can tell by the questions you ask that you have given this some thought and you know exactly what you need to learn in order to become a good parent. As long as you care about your kids and are willing to devote some of your time to learn how to be a parent, then you are certainly worthy of being a parent. Don't assume that you shouldn't be a parent just because you think that you will be a bad parent.
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23 / M / Missouri
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Posted 2/10/13


I can't help but think sharing happiness with someone and creating someone to share that happiness with are not the same thing....
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13
From an ethical standpoint most people would probably see inception and conception as an important part of society (mainly for women of course). While I may not have any right to judge (considering I am Male), if you don't want children don't let people force the idea on to you just because they claim "I was the same", "I can't picture life without my children" or "OMG blsdfjhgdfgbsdfb". If you are having a child for that purpose that itself should be a crime (lol). The way I see it, we were not really put on this earth to be what we currently are (matter a-fact we were not put on this earth at all), and the closest reason why I think people would have children would either be out of selfish desires (yes this includes wanting a lovely angel of a child and trust me I can't tell you this is right or wrong all humans are selfish by nature perhaps even a tad bit hedonistic), or out of a mistake I mean it's just kind of a reproductive thing we do have to keep the species going (or so we are told) I just honestly find it hard to listen to people that tell others "this is the right way to live" when they have just as little idea of what life is (and what purpose it serves) in comparison to everyone else. The only true purpose I see in life (not saying there are no feelings, or emotions involved with your experience through life) is reproduction, and even that is pointless but who am I to argue I am glad I was brought into this world and although some people may have only experienced suffering and may only wish they were never born to experience these things (because nothing is always the true feeling of peace) as a human I must say experiencing your emotions is a great deal but at least its better (imo) than being brain dead. (wow off topic) TLDR: Don't listen to other people (including myself), do what you want to do but always remember while relatively you would be considered different or wrong from other people's perspectives, that does not mean you are actually wrong (and F*** you don't need to be wrong or right to do w.e you want). And let it be known if your life was "meaningless" I would hate to see just how meaningless the life of those who live only to continue the pointless cycle of selfishly creating life just to battle against extinction from under population (which ironically is not even our problem and would actually help at the moment, if you don't want to end lives then don't start them) or should I say creating life out of their own self desire just to have their children suck up all of life's joys and pains while continuing on the path towards reproduction again.

Just one giant opinionated rant Sorreh.
1mirg 
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Posted 2/10/13

is a womans-life pointless without children?


I never read anything so, sexist.
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23 / M / Missouri
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

I use to work for a beacon program for children. Obviously, you have only encountered little angels. Beings a bad parent doesn't make you a terrible human being. It just means, you shouldn't raise a child. Having children you're not willing to raise but still keeping them anyways makes you stupid...and I don't want to be stupid. Honestly, I don't want them to be a legacy of my being because they will not grow up to be the best people, or have the best childhood. Children aren't test trials where if you screw up, you can just pop out a new one. Are people suppose to prove that they are not "shitty human beings" by having children and expecting themselves to become good parents?

You are romanticizing child rearing as if it's a perfect fluffy world, like all the other bad things that come along are easily avoidable and doesn't hurt. What if all the challenges out weight the joy? How can you be so sure it isn't the other way around? How do you know you won't screw up completely? Why would you believe that your reason justify that everyone should have kids?


I know its not a perfect fluffy world. Probably a hell of a lot more than you do. But because I have children. I know the difficulties of raising them. I know not everything is perfect. But as I said. The good outweighs the bad. If you can't man up enough to handle raising a child then... you're a shit person. Simple. It's not actually that hard! Correct them when they're wrong. Praise them when they're right. Care for them when they are sick. Console them when they're scared or sad. Play with them when they're bored. And obviously.. feed them when they are hungry. Change their shitty diaper.
Raising a child is a 24 hour 7 days a week job... but it actually takes minimal effort. You would have to mentally/physically handicapped to not be able to do it.... And I think that is what makes people so put off by kids. "I'm going to have to put a little effort into something?! Oh no!! How much of MY time are they going to take? How much of MY life do I need to sacrifice for them? ME ME ME ME ME FUCKING ME." This is the society we live in nowadays. A "ME" society. Everyone thinks they are so entitled. Its not hard to give everything for someone else and still have room for "me". Many people find themselves old and alone because they chose not to give a little bit of themselves to a child. Friends age and move on, forget about you.. Children are there for you if you've taken care in the way you've raised them. Yes, I also look at children from a more practical point of view.. They are my insurance policy. I don't want to wind up old AND alone.

Also, raising a child isn't a job you do alone.

But I think you're right for choosing not to raise a child if you don't think you would do it right.. if you can recognize already that you would probably raise them in the wrong way.. then fine.. Don't have them.
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13

Oldthrashbar wrote:



I can't help but think sharing happiness with someone and creating someone to share that happiness with are not the same thing....


Fair enough. I don't have kids, so I can't speak very meaningfully on that point, but if I had to guess, I'd say that the difference between having someone to share happiness with, and causing the existence of someone to share happiness is really sort of secondary to the actual someone to share happiness with part. The fact that I made this person exist is less important to me than the fact that they exist and I can enjoy life with them. But like I said, I don't have kids, so that creation thing could actually be the best part. Maybe I'm missing something by trivializing the creation part, but from the point of view of someone that has someone to share with, perhaps the act of making that someone is less important than their other goals. If they would rather refine their abilities as an artist, or throw themselves into research, or whatever, I don't see any problem with that. Then there's also the perspective of someone that is unhappy, for which finding happiness is more important than sharing happiness that they don't have. I could very possibly be wrong -- like I said, I don't have kids, so what do I know? -- but everything here is speculation anyway, so I'll just stick with my guesses for now. It's not like your ideas are completely wrong either.
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13
Not that there is anything actually incorrect with a "Me" society, but I agree with most of your views although remember you are part of said "Me" society with no exceptions :D. Self consciousness is like a great gift that has slowly led the majority of people towards becoming more egotistical (but its a gift none the less enjoy it :D, and again in no way is this good or bad and there are many people who's egos are just the right size :P).

It's been too long since I last used these forums, I can't quote for my life =/.
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Posted 2/10/13

1mirg wrote:


is a womans-life pointless without children?


I never read anything so, sexist.

OMG she didn't replace 'woman' with 'person'! Everyone else got the message. Little late on board don't you think?
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23 / M / Missouri
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Posted 2/10/13

theYchromosome wrote:


Oldthrashbar wrote:



I can't help but think sharing happiness with someone and creating someone to share that happiness with are not the same thing....


Fair enough. I don't have kids, so I can't speak very meaningfully on that point, but if I had to guess, I'd say that the difference between having someone to share happiness with, and causing the existence of someone to share happiness is really sort of secondary to the actual someone to share happiness with part. The fact that I made this person exist is less important to me than the fact that they exist and I can enjoy life with them. But like I said, I don't have kids, so that creation thing could actually be the best part. Maybe I'm missing something by trivializing the creation part, but from the point of view of someone that has someone to share with, perhaps the act of making that someone is less important than their other goals. If they would rather refine their abilities as an artist, or throw themselves into research, or whatever, I don't see any problem with that. Then there's also the perspective of someone that is unhappy, for which finding happiness is more important than sharing happiness that they don't have. I could very possibly be wrong -- like I said, I don't have kids, so what do I know? -- but everything here is speculation anyway, so I'll just stick with my guesses for now. It's not like your ideas are completely wrong either.



Well, of course the person you choose to have children with is a person you are willing to share happiness with! So you get the best of both worlds. And children are like little happiness generating machines. I'm not saying you need children to be happy. All I'm saying is... why not? There is nothing to lose!
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Posted 2/10/13 , edited 2/10/13

sizzlingmochi wrote:


1mirg wrote:


is a womans-life pointless without children?


I never read anything so, sexist.

OMG she didn't replace 'woman' with 'person'! Everyone else got the message. Little late on board don't you think?


The best part is that its just a question, why do some people make a big deal. If I ask "Are male elephants suffering from poachers seeking their ivory tusks"? You can't just say omg that messed up why not mention the suffering female elephants go through too! (Although I can see why people make a bigger deal since they can relate to humans more than elephants lol, and since there are only 2 genders people of the other gender feel that a big part is being left out). And of course female elephants also have tusks (not off topic).
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Posted 2/10/13
It won't make you empty, or make your life meaningless. Life doesn't have to be that way. You don't even have to have kids just because society thinks you have to.

In the end it's about what makes you happy- having children or not, it doesn't prove your worth.

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Posted 2/10/13
Nope, every life has a purpose.
be it your dreams, or be it your reality.
live your life the way you like it.
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