Girlfriend Issues
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21 / M / NY
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Posted 2/21/13
I moved to US two and a half years ago from Europe. By now, I've met quite a lot of people and I've made many friends. In the process of doing so, I've met this Japanese girl that moved to US at around the same time I did(two weeks later than me). We have a lot in common, from our views to the things we both like to do and I showed a great interest in the Japanese culture(but not weebo-style or anything). I treated her as a friend and this is where some weird stuff started happening.

At first she proposed that we move past the whole "friends" relationship. She wanted commitment from me and when I refused(as formally as I could) to do just that(and I told her that I like her as a friend), she threatened to commit suicide and so on. I did accept later on to treat her as my girlfriend, although to this day I don't have any real feelings for her, except for feeling sorry for her and how she feels.. I really think she may have psychological issues, although she is a bright student and a really fun friend(at least when she wasn't overly obsessed over me).

I went online and sought out professional help from dating experts and most of the basic dating communities and when I requested assistance regarding this uncomfortable relationship I got responses like "she's a crazy bitch" or "she's a gaijin lover, run away dude". That did not help one bit.

If anyone has any tips on how to professionally deal with this awkward situation, please let me know. To be honest, I would really like to go back to us just being friends, thus any heartbreaking breakups shouldn't be a part of the suggestions. Also, she threatened to kill herself and/or tell <the authorities, I assume> that I abused her in <some way> that would most likely ruin my life, at least in the United States.

Any helpful tips and comments would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Posted 2/21/13 , edited 2/21/13
If You Havin Girl Problems I Feel Bad For You Son I Got 99 Problems But A B*tch Ain't One ~

* should probably back off the friends thing, If she isn't willing to accept it for what it is friendship isn't going to work.
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F / Urban South
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Posted 2/21/13
Shake her off. She's crazy. I have an array of techniques for ditching annoying, clingy girlfriends, but most of them require you to be a heartless asshole. If you're interested let me know.
Posted 2/21/13
mm ~ cry about it and buy a bucket of icecream and watch more drama shows
Posted 2/21/13
Her threat to kill herself isn't anything good, nor should you attempt any further communications with her should she continue to be a possible threat to herself and others. She can't mentally handle the decisions made by other people which differ from her own, and thus, isn't fit to love anyone romantically in a mature manner.

So I have spoken, so it is done. Until next time, mongrels. *disappears*
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27 / United States
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Posted 2/21/13 , edited 2/21/13

vektorX wrote:

I moved to US two and a half years ago from Europe. By now, I've met quite a lot of people and I've made many friends. In the process of doing so, I've met this Japanese girl that moved to US at around the same time I did(two weeks later than me). We have a lot in common, from our views to the things we both like to do and I showed a great interest in the Japanese culture(but not weebo-style or anything). I treated her as a friend and this is where some weird stuff started happening.

At first she proposed that we move past the whole "friends" relationship. She wanted commitment from me and when I refused(as formally as I could) to do just that(and I told her that I like her as a friend), she threatened to commit suicide and so on. I did accept later on to treat her as my girlfriend, although to this day I don't have any real feelings for her, except for feeling sorry for her and how she feels.. I really think she may have psychological issues, although she is a bright student and a really fun friend(at least when she wasn't overly obsessed over me).

I went online and sought out professional help from dating experts and most of the basic dating communities and when I requested assistance regarding this uncomfortable relationship I got responses like "she's a crazy bitch" or "she's a gaijin lover, run away dude". That did not help one bit.

If anyone has any tips on how to professionally deal with this awkward situation, please let me know. To be honest, I would really like to go back to us just being friends, thus any heartbreaking breakups shouldn't be a part of the suggestions. Also, she threatened to kill herself and/or tell <the authorities, I assume> that I abused her in <some way> that would most likely ruin my life, at least in the United States.

Any helpful tips and comments would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.


Vek if you can PM me, I'll talk with you in PM's.

Edit: I've had a similar situation myself.
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F / Earth
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Posted 2/21/13
Be honest with her, and try to give her help. She isn't your problem: she's your friend, not your wife, sister or family member at any means. She shouldn't be shoving her problems onto you and forcing her to be your girlfriend. Ask a family member/close friend for help on what to do, exactly. Although you basically had no choice, you're hurting her further by dating her when you don't like her that way. And, when she starts getting the help she needs, be friendly but definitely distance: you don't need a crazy person (or yandere :P) at any means making your life a misery!
Posted 2/21/13 , edited 2/21/13
Act of cowardice worsening the situation.

If people wanna suicide let them suicide, what the hell.
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25 / F / Sexual Chocolate
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Posted 2/21/13
Kill her before she kills herself so that you can get the last laugh.

Honestly though, just walk away. I've had plenty of girlfriends threaten to harm themselves, lesbians can be very dramatic you see, and none of them ever did. As for threatening to call the cops on you, I don't think she will no matter how unstable she seems. If you're worried about it though remember the date and time she made the threat and write it down, record every instance of her acting off the wall or insane in a neat, meticulous manner so that if she does try something you have a record to show hold up. A lot of businesses do this when dealing with difficult employees who try to claim that they were unfairly fired, instead writing down every situation in which the employee in question was negligent in their duties.
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24 / F / London, UK
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Posted 2/21/13 , edited 2/21/13
Manipulation through emotional blackmail like that is considered a sign of an emotionally abusive relationship. Trying to transfer blame is another.

Gonna be frank; you're helping neither yourself nor her if you remain in this relationship. It doesn't sound healthy for either of you, I don't think you should remain friends afterwards, either; at the very least, you should keep distance between you for a little while after breaking up.

I'm not going to pretend I have any training in this kind of thing, and I sincerely doubt you'll find many people on here who do, but if you seriously think she might carry through with her threats I'd recommend calling a suicide hotline and asking them for advice on how to deal with her.
9557 cr points
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17 / M / Elrios, Sleepingw...
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Posted 2/21/13
Has this become school days in a way (without the fucking everybody part).
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21 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 2/21/13
No personal threads. Also, what professional sites did you go to because those don't sound like professionals to me. Sound like dumbasses to me.
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