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Do jumping into a new fast relationship last?
wwe
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30 / F / where all my drea...
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Posted 3/6/13
If someone goes and finds someone and jumps right into a new relationship that was kinda fast, do they last?


The reason I'm asking is, I went not to long ago to try and work things out with a guy i was dating, try and see if we could go back to bf/gf again. He lives far, so I had to go far to see him, I stay with him for 8 days, well things was great again with us, seem like all was back between us once more, felt like us back to being bf/gf. Had a great trip and week. He even said to me if things stay the same between us in a few months he wanted to take a real trip with me next time. Anyway even after our week, things seem great, up until about last weekend, when i could tell he was not acting right, well I found out yesterday he had found someone else... he said it just happen, the thing I don't understand is how could he find someone so fast? Also how could he do this right after our week and after all seem great with us again?


So yeah b/c he moved onto someone so fast, do this kind of relationship normally last?

how many of you, do you know someone that moved right onto someone else this fast? did it last? what would be the reason for it? What is the longest you think it will last for?
Posted 3/6/13
If it didn't work out to begin with, it most likely won't work out a second time. That is a shitty move on his part. He probably wouldn't of told you about the girl he had been seeing/talking too if you didn't probe him. Ah, what a coward couldn't even get his priories straight and totally led you on.
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Posted 3/6/13
it depends on them, if he gunuinely likes this girl then it could last...but seeing how most relationships these days dont last very long, its hard to tell, anyways, like i said before, it all depends on them.
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23 / F / Sexual Chocolate
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Posted 3/6/13
I don't know all the details of your situation, but i've "made up" with girlfriends in the past and then as soon as that "fresh start" feel wears off it goes right back to being how it was when we broke up. Especially if sex is involved because nobody thinks clearly when sex is involved.

My current relationship came on the heels of a bad breakup and we've been together six months now. Most rebound relationships don't last, but they can depending on the people involved.
Posted 3/6/13
It depends on your chemistry between each other.
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19 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 3/6/13
It sincerely varies by person. Whether a relationship last or not because they felt the need to rush into another one differs by couple. By shifting onto different relationships people have a higher chance of finding someone that matches them perfectly.
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M
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Posted 3/6/13
of course it won't.^^
Posted 3/6/13
Oh ho ho. Not likely.
Posted 3/6/13
I switched from a guy I was with for 5 years to the guy I'm with now a little over a year ago. We get along just fine. I don't talk to my ex either. I guess it depends on the person and in what type of situation they are in. I suggest finding a new guy cause it sounds like he really is not into you anymore. I'm not trying to be heartless or anything, but personally I would not trust him, much less still try to pursue a relationship with the guy. You do what makes you happy, not what makes everyone else happy.
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20 / M / Delaware
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Posted 3/6/13
Why should you care? It's apparent this guy is no good. He lacks commitment and casually jumps boat, that's not the type of guy you would want a lasting relationship with. Move on, find someone new.
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Posted 3/6/13
I've always moved pretty fast, and it's never particularly bothered me. Of course, I'm rarely serious, and I have a terrible personality and a cheating habit. Funny though, I've never had a problem keeping relationships around; it's shaking them off that takes work. My attraction to crazy chicks (and the intermittent reward dating my lousy personality uses as a default) has gotten me involved with a few stalkers.

So, as I try to imagine what your ex is thinking, and I keep getting stuck on a few points.
1) You two probably broke up for a reason. Whether it was trivial or a big deal, that reason is probably still lingering.
2) While there is a chance that you're Ms. Right, he could be looking for Ms. Right Here and you're not around much. In other words, he got drunk and screwed his neighbor and now it's just really easy for him, or something like that. Maybe he even really likes her a lot, you never know.
3) Why are you concerned with his new relationship? Are you hoping to wait it out? Because that's kind of stalker-ish.

So... You got dumped and your feelings are hurt. It's understandable, but it's time to cut your losses. Stop investing time and energy into this go-nowhere romance.
Posted 3/6/13

wwe wrote:

If someone goes and finds someone and jumps right into a new relationship that was kinda fast, do they last?


The reason I'm asking is, I went not to long ago to try and work things out with a guy i was dating, try and see if we could go back to bf/gf again. He lives far, so I had to go far to see him, I stay with him for 8 days, well things was great again with us, seem like all was back between us once more, felt like us back to being bf/gf. Had a great trip and week. He even said to me if things stay the same between us in a few months he wanted to take a real trip with me next time. Anyway even after our week, things seem great, up until about last weekend, when i could tell he was not acting right, well I found out yesterday he had found someone else... he said it just happen, the thing I don't understand is how could he find someone so fast? Also how could he do this right after our week and after all seem great with us again?


So yeah b/c he moved onto someone so fast, do this kind of relationship normally last?

how many of you, do you know someone that moved right onto someone else this fast? did it last? what would be the reason for it? What is the longest you think it will last for?


I don't think it'll last. I'm kind of ashamed to admit it, but I was the guy in my relationship who moved onto another girl like five days after breaking up with my gf I had had for a few months. At the time it didn't seem bad because the girl i was dating at the time wasn't really treating our relationship right. She always started the fights and always caused the problems. I mean I wasn't perfect but she would get upset at me for every little thing while I dedicated like all my time to her. So after I had enough, I broke up with her and started dating this other girl I felt like I had started to like. I mean, the girl I went to date after my gf was not the reason we broke up whatsoever, but I still to this day feel like it was too soon. I didn't consider how the other girl felt. But back on topic, it didn't last long with this new girl nor did I want it too. I don't think either of us wanted it too. She had gotten sick of her bf too and broke up with him and we just sort of got together. We both just wanted to date each other to get away from the 'seriousness' of the relationships we were in previously, because we liked each other, and just to have a good time. It lasted about a month without any serious commitment and we just sort of went our own ways. it has probably been the most beautiful relationship I've ever had. I really miss it but it was exactly what I needed as well. It got me back on track to really searching for a soulmate. Btw, I'm not meaning to relate you/the girl or your story in any sort of way. I'm just saying that mine didn't last long so maybe this guy's won't either. Hope I helped but he sounds like a real idiot for letting you go so easily. I'm sure you're a lot cooler a girl than the one he just 'quickly' went to.
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Posted 3/6/13
A relationship reflects both people.
If he lacks commitment, so will his relationship. (on his part, at least.)

Honestly, I know this is going to sound cliche. But just wait. I used to be the type to jump relationship to relationship.
But when I decided to wait for the right person, I found them.
wwe
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Posted 3/6/13



oh wow that's some story, in someways i hope you're right, i know that is a bit mean, i think it b/c i'm still hurting a lot, we did almost lasted a full year, if he did not move on so fast, we would had made it a year. I did a lot for him, never once cheated, was 100% loyal, if there was any guy who try to ask me out, i would tell them to back off, and i would tell my bf, well my now ex, about it, just to show how there was trust with me, and he did the same. I cared so much for him, b/c with all the guys i used to date before him, they was not as great as he was with me, he showed he could really care for me, i never had a guy that cared as much as he did for me, he even said he never dated a girl that he cared for as much as he did with me, he never went as far as he did for a girl. he said he would never gone to see a girl that lives as far as i do. He came down to see me a few times and spend a full week each time, and i went and saw him for a full week. I know at times ldr can be hard, but if you take the time you can make it work, and it really seem like it was working out for us, even the very last week that i saw him, he seem like he was still happy with us. He even got my hopes up and said next time we would take a trip, a real trip, just me and him, on a real vacation. so i really don't understand is what happen and why so fast? the only clues i have are this 1) during our last week, his friends was texting him a lot, more then i think they should have, knowing that we was spending time with each other, and 2) he goes to the gym a few times during the week and once on the weekend, well last week when things seem to not be right with him, he was going more to the gym, more then he normally does, so maybe he met this other girl at the gym. I'm not 100% on that, but that all i got on what could had happen. still if he was thinking of seeing someone else he should had gave more of a better heads up and not just spring it on me like he did, he told me in an e-mail that he found someone else... I ask him how did you find someone so fast, he just said it just happen, things happen. that all i got out of him.
Posted 3/6/13

wwe wrote:




oh wow that's some story, in someways i hope you're right, i know that is a bit mean, i think it b/c i'm still hurting a lot, we did almost lasted a full year, if he did not move on so fast, we would had made it a year. I did a lot for him, never once cheated, was 100% loyal, if there was any guy who try to ask me out, i would tell them to back off, and i would tell my bf, well my now ex, about it, just to show how there was trust with me, and he did the same. I cared so much for him, b/c with all the guys i used to date before him, they was not as great as he was with me, he showed he could really care for me, i never had a guy that cared as much as he did for me, he even said he never dated a girl that he cared for as much as he did with me, he never went as far as he did for a girl. he said he would never gone to see a girl that lives as far as i do. He came down to see me a few times and spend a full week each time, and i went and saw him for a full week. I know at times ldr can be hard, but if you take the time you can make it work, and it really seem like it was working out for us, even the very last week that i saw him, he seem like he was still happy with us. He even got my hopes up and said next time we would take a trip, a real trip, just me and him, on a real vacation. so i really don't understand is what happen and why so fast? the only clues i have are this 1) during our last week, his friends was texting him a lot, more then i think they should have, knowing that we was spending time with each other, and 2) he goes to the gym a few times during the week and once on the weekend, well last week when things seem to not be right with him, he was going more to the gym, more then he normally does, so maybe he met this other girl at the gym. I'm not 100% on that, but that all i got on what could had happen. still if he was thinking of seeing someone else he should had gave more of a better heads up and not just spring it on me like he did, he told me in an e-mail that he found someone else... I ask him how did you find someone so fast, he just said it just happen, things happen. that all i got out of him.


In all honesty, he doesn't deserve you. You seem like a very nice, caring, and compassionate person. Any guy would be lucky to have you. The reasons I didn't feel too awful with what I did is because the girl I dated (this might sound terrible) deserved to be broken up with. She would always think I was lying when I told her what I was doing, she would want ALL my time(not in a sweet 'I just love being with you kinda way but obsessive, you belong to me sorta way), and she just generally seemed more concerned with 'having me all to herself' in a controlling way than actually caring about me and what made me happy. She was really all about herself. I'm no perfect guy either, but I can say with all honesty that I handled the relationship better than she did. She turned out to be a real jerk, too. She talked and gossiped about everyone any chance. She even trash talked her best friend nonstop and I was like 'Are you serious?'. The reason I'm telling you this is because you are NO way like the girl I broke up with who had it coming. You definitely cared for this person from what your posts say and definitely didn't deserve this. This guy should not have led you on like that. If he moved on that fast it just shows that he wasn't that committed and you deserve better. The only reason i felt guilt for the way i acted is because it was still a little selfish of me to move on so quick (even though the relationship was hell) but I still should've considered my ex's feelings even though she was crazy and been more of a gentleman.
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