128734 cr points
Send Message:   29 / F / where all my drea...
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Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide chase6565 wrote:
wwe wrote:
Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide chase6565 wrote:
wwe wrote:
If someone goes and finds someone and jumps right into a new relationship that was kinda fast, do they last?
The reason I'm asking is, I went not to long ago to try and work things out with a guy i was dating, try and see if we could go back to bf/gf again. He lives far, so I had to go far to see him, I stay with him for 8 days, well things was great again with us, seem like all was back between us once more, felt like us back to being bf/gf. Had a great trip and week. He even said to me if things stay the same between us in a few months he wanted to take a real trip with me next time. Anyway even after our week, things seem great, up until about last weekend, when i could tell he was not acting right, well I found out yesterday he had found someone else... he said it just happen, the thing I don't understand is how could he find someone so fast? Also how could he do this right after our week and after all seem great with us again?
So yeah b/c he moved onto someone so fast, do this kind of relationship normally last?
how many of you, do you know someone that moved right onto someone else this fast? did it last? what would be the reason for it? What is the longest you think it will last for?
I don't think it'll last. I'm kind of ashamed to admit it, but I was the guy in my relationship who moved onto another girl like five days after breaking up with my gf I had had for a few months.  At the time it didn't seem bad because the girl i was dating at the time wasn't really treating our relationship right. She always started the fights and always caused the problems. I mean I wasn't perfect but she would get upset at me for every little thing while I dedicated like all my time to her. So after I had enough, I broke up with her and started dating this other girl I felt like I had started to like. I mean, the girl I went to date after my gf was not the reason we broke up whatsoever, but I still to this day feel like it was too soon. I didn't consider how the other girl felt. But back on topic, it didn't last long with this new girl nor did I want it too. I don't think either of us wanted it too. She had gotten sick of her bf too and broke up with him and we just sort of got together. We both just wanted to date each other to get away from the 'seriousness' of the relationships we were in previously, because we liked each other, and just to have a good time. It lasted about a month without any serious commitment and we just sort of went our own ways. it has probably been the most beautiful relationship I've ever had. I really miss it but it was exactly what I needed as well. It got me back on track to really searching for a soulmate. Btw, I'm not meaning to relate you/the girl or your story in any sort of way. I'm just saying that mine didn't last long so maybe this guy's won't either. Hope I helped but he sounds like a real idiot for letting you go so easily. I'm sure you're a lot cooler a girl than the one he just 'quickly' went to.
oh wow that's some story, in someways i hope you're right, i know that is a bit mean, i think it b/c i'm still hurting a lot, we did almost lasted a full year, if he did not move on so fast, we would had made it a year. I did a lot for him, never once cheated, was 100% loyal, if there was any guy who try to ask me out, i would tell them to back off, and i would tell my bf, well my now ex, about it, just to show how there was trust with me, and he did the same. I cared so much for him, b/c with all the guys i used to date before him, they was not as great as he was with me, he showed he could really care for me, i never had a guy that cared as much as he did for me, he even said he never dated a girl that he cared for as much as he did with me, he never went as far as he did for a girl. he said he would never gone to see a girl that lives as far as i do. He came down to see me a few times and spend a full week each time, and i went and saw him for a full week. I know at times ldr can be hard, but if you take the time you can make it work, and it really seem like it was working out for us, even the very last week that i saw him, he seem like he was still happy with us. He even got my hopes up and said next time we would take a trip, a real trip, just me and him, on a real vacation. so i really don't understand is what happen and why so fast? the only clues i have are this 1) during our last week, his friends was texting him a lot, more then i think they should have, knowing that we was spending time with each other, and 2) he goes to the gym a few times during the week and once on the weekend, well last week when things seem to not be right with him, he was going more to the gym, more then he normally does, so maybe he met this other girl at the gym. I'm not 100% on that, but that all i got on what could had happen. still if he was thinking of seeing someone else he should had gave more of a better heads up and not just spring it on me like he did, he told me in an e-mail that he found someone else... I ask him how did you find someone so fast, he just said it just happen, things happen. that all i got out of him.
In all honesty, he doesn't deserve you. You seem like a very nice, caring, and compassionate person. Any guy would be lucky to have you. The reasons I didn't feel too awful with what I did is because the girl I dated (this might sound terrible) deserved to be broken up with. She would always think I was lying when I told her what I was doing, she would want ALL my time(not in a sweet 'I just love being with you kinda way but obsessive, you belong to me sorta way), and she just generally seemed more concerned with 'having me all to herself' in a controlling way than actually caring about me and what made me happy. She was really all about herself. I'm no perfect guy either, but I can say with all honesty that I handled the relationship better than she did. She turned out to be a real jerk, too. She talked and gossiped about everyone any chance. She even trash talked her best friend nonstop and I was like 'Are you serious?'. The reason I'm telling you this is because you are NO way like the girl I broke up with who had it coming. You definitely cared for this person from what your posts say and definitely didn't deserve this. This guy should not have led you on like that. If he moved on that fast it just shows that he wasn't that committed and you deserve better. The only reason i felt guilt for the way i acted is because it was still a little selfish of me to move on so quick (even though the relationship was hell) but I still should've considered my ex's feelings even though she was crazy and been more of a gentleman.
Thank you, well it just going to take time for me to heal, lot of time, b/c of how much i did care for him, it has been a really long time that i had found a guy i could really care for this much again, and i really was hoping he would had been it, b/c looking is hard and it can sux, also i was hoping that i would not have gone though this part again. was hoping that the looking for a new guy was over and done with. Why is it that the nice ones always end up last with nothing but pain and sadness. i'm sorry that the girl was like that to you, she should had more trust in you, that what you need in this world is trust when it comes to dating, that how it make it work. That was one thing we had was trust that was not an issues we had. btw if you like, you can see my photos, there are pics of us still up, for now i can't get myself to take them down, so you can at least see what we had before it went down hill, just look for my photos that say Tony and me.
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24268 cr points
Send Message: 21 / M / 風の山
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wwe wrote:
If someone goes and finds someone and jumps right into a new relationship that was kinda fast, do they last?
The reason I'm asking is, I went not to long ago to try and work things out with a guy i was dating, try and see if we could go back to bf/gf again. He lives far, so I had to go far to see him, I stay with him for 8 days, well things was great again with us, seem like all was back between us once more, felt like us back to being bf/gf. Had a great trip and week. He even said to me if things stay the same between us in a few months he wanted to take a real trip with me next time. Anyway even after our week, things seem great, up until about last weekend, when i could tell he was not acting right, well I found out yesterday he had found someone else... he said it just happen, the thing I don't understand is how could he find someone so fast? Also how could he do this right after our week and after all seem great with us again?
So yeah b/c he moved onto someone so fast, do this kind of relationship normally last?
how many of you, do you know someone that moved right onto someone else this fast? did it last? what would be the reason for it? What is the longest you think it will last for?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H49jbunV7W4
basically the reason, but there are false alerts.
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18343 cr points
Send Message: 25 / M / Pocatello, Idaho
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Honestly whether or not a relationship lasts is really on the backs of the people in the relationship. If one or both in the relationship lack commitment, then it's going to be reflected in their behavior. As it was previously pointed out, he may have found it easier to move on because of reason(s) for the relationship falling apart the first time. That said, it's a total prick move to lead a girl on like that and I'd say he deserves a quick baseball bat to the nuts at minimal, lol. You seem to be a very caring and warmhearted person, so I think getting away from someone so easily swayed is probably a god thing for you in the long run. The hard part, as you state, will be reconciling your lingering emotions in the wake of all of this. Don't be afraid to lean on your friends if you need emotional support though, mine have helped me greatly in getting through tough times. :)
Personally I'm a long term relationship kind of guy and I find it impossible to just "find someone new" in much the way a lot of people I see do these days. A close friend of mine recently dumped her old boyfriend for his best friend and the two of them have been together for almost four months now. Hard to say how things will play out in the longer term, but they seem to be much better as a couple than with her previous relationship. Honestly if they both keep working at things, I can't say I could see them breaking up ever. After all, even when I'm hanging out with just one of them they can never shut up about the other, haha. Anywho, that's just my two cents on things.
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42071 cr points
Send Message: 30
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There is a reason why relationships last shorter now than ever. Fifty years ago you took it slow and when you married you were expected to be together for life. Now you got a fifty percent chance that you will get divorced within the next ten years. So what changed? Well first, people have learned that you don't have to put up with bad relationships, but its much more than that.
The biggest issue at hand is relationships have always been a gamble because people naturally have problems. You have them and I have them. Just because you align on certain points doesn't mean you are meant for each other. Often the best way to judge someone is not how they treat you, but how they treat the people they hate, because there will come a day when they hate you.
That all said, it is possible that a random new relationship can last, but since it's hard to really judge so quickly you might as well be playing the lottery.
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400 cr points
Send Message: 18 / M / Los Angeles
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After reading through the posts here. I think this is some valuable information that I'll keep in mind when I try to find a partner, but even more pressing is that I think my best friend is in this sort of fast relationship, and he's the type to become emotionally scarred if relationships fall through. I must save him!
Or not...
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163 cr points
Send Message: 20 / F
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Probably not. You have to have time to get to know the person to see if the two of you are compatible. I have been with my love for a good 5 years and have been living with him and will marry him this coming Halloween. You have to live with a person for a long time to know if the two of you are really meant to be.
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2388 cr points
Send Message: 15 / M / Arizona U.S.A
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Depends, for me yes they do but its way better to take thing slow, trust me i've been there a few times.
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4319 cr points
Send Message: 20 / M / Earth
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It really depends on the chemistry the two people share.. That will determine how long it will last..
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9590 cr points
Send Message: F / Hyrule
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I guess it depends. Do they really like each other? Or are their personalities conflicting? I've only done it once... But It didn't last at all. The guy said he was "pressured" into a relationship by his friends. Bulllllshitttt.
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83311 cr points
Send Message: 19 / M / Finland, city of...
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My answer.just dont do it,it can only end in shouting and tears.^^
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41333 cr points
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From experience, no.
someone asked me out only after meeting me for a few weeks and only messaging me on facebook.
we broke up after 1 month and 3 days of dating.
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2161 cr points
Send Message: 23 / M
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Nope it won't really ~ it will just end quickly .
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128734 cr points
Send Message: 29 / F / where all my drea...
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Spoiler Alert! Click to show or hide Des-kun wrote:
Honestly whether or not a relationship lasts is really on the backs of the people in the relationship. If one or both in the relationship lack commitment, then it's going to be reflected in their behavior. As it was previously pointed out, he may have found it easier to move on because of reason(s) for the relationship falling apart the first time. That said, it's a total prick move to lead a girl on like that and I'd say he deserves a quick baseball bat to the nuts at minimal, lol. You seem to be a very caring and warmhearted person, so I think getting away from someone so easily swayed is probably a god thing for you in the long run. The hard part, as you state, will be reconciling your lingering emotions in the wake of all of this. Don't be afraid to lean on your friends if you need emotional support though, mine have helped me greatly in getting through tough times. :)
Personally I'm a long term relationship kind of guy and I find it impossible to just "find someone new" in much the way a lot of people I see do these days. A close friend of mine recently dumped her old boyfriend for his best friend and the two of them have been together for almost four months now. Hard to say how things will play out in the longer term, but they seem to be much better as a couple than with her previous relationship. Honestly if they both keep working at things, I can't say I could see them breaking up ever. After all, even when I'm hanging out with just one of them they can never shut up about the other, haha. Anywho, that's just my two cents on things.
Thanks, I'm doing the best that I can right now, just need time to heal, I might been bit better if he did not find someone else so fast, and just spring it on me like that. I'm trying my best not to think to much on it, can be bit hard at times, like still wondering how it happen and why so fast. Anyway in few weeks I be doing better.
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18343 cr points
Send Message: 25 / M / Pocatello, Idaho
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That's a given that it's hard not to think about it. I mean, when you're emotionally invested in someone it is incredibly difficult to let go, but it's probably the most important step in the healing process. The best thing I can recommend is to spend some time with friends if you get lonely or meditate on it, depends on which works better for you. It may be hard to do, but if you do end up thinking about things, try to think of the positive ways the relationship helped you grow as a person. A good general rule is to surround yourself with great people though, because then everyone gets to rub some of their awesome off on everyone else. Stay strong and keep your chin up, you're quite attractive (in both regards) and as long as you carry yourself well, I have no doubt you'll find someone much better. Cheers! |
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28235 cr points
Send Message: 16 / M / Stoke, England
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I moved onto someone else rather quickly once I realised all the negatives of the previous person.
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Do jumping into a new fast relationship last? 
