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Post Reply Should there be or is there an age gap-limit for relationships?
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28 / M / Toledo
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Posted 3/21/13

hyjinx17 wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


hyjinx17 wrote:

I mean once your 18 I don't have a problem with any age gap, but I know if I have a daughter one day and she's 18 and brings home a 40 year old guy, I'm gonna be severely pissed at him


Should be more pissed at your daughter for choosing him and bringing him home. Can't blame an older guy for being happy that someone younger still finds them attractive and such.


I can't in good conscience break my daughters neck, so he'll have to do


To each their own. I would personally go after the one who can't put up as much of a fight. My dad will tell you though, breaking someones neck is not as easy as it looks. He tried once at work and failed.
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27 / M
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Posted 3/21/13
I and my wife have a larger than average age gap of about 13 years she being older than me, so I see nothing wrong with it.
However, I will point out one thing that I think a lot of people tend to forget about.
If you are the younger one in the relationship, you better be at a point in your career where it's possible to meet the needs and expectations of someone older.

I know someone people think things like "Money doesn't gurantee love" "In true love money doesn't matter", and it's true that money doesn't matter in a normal relationship.
However, if you already have a few things seperating you like age, culture, or distance, why would you want to add that much extra stress to a relationship.

I believe I should be qualified to speak on all these matters as I'm from America, my wife is from Taiwan, we have a large age gap, and had huge culture shocks to overcome.

Though, I am happy to report that we will soon be celebrating our second anniversary.
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18 / M
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Posted 3/21/13
I guess it's up to the two people, it might not seem right, but even in religious texts people marry those with a substantial age gap (i.e. Abraham and Sarah = 10 year gap approx.). It doesn't concern me, what two people choose to do is their choice.
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26 / M / Pinellas Park, FL
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Posted 3/21/13


This, I think, is pretty much on point.

I personally couldn't date someone too much younger just because I have siblings who fall into just about every age group. So it's weird, to me at least. But I have thought about it. And it really does come down to mental maturity.

It might also be something generational or cultural. Like for instance. If I meet someone, in the future, who was born say 1999 who has no idea what game cartridges are, floppy disks, videotape, walkman, etc etc. That's a huge part of an 80's and 90's kid and not being able to communicate those times is more of a heartbreaker than it is just a letdown. It's like not being able to express part of yourself. And that's barely a 10 year gap.

There's a lot of factors and it's another situation where there's no right or wrong but a very awkward gray area.

On a side note: I once met a guy in downtown Brooklyn. He told me this following story. I'm paraphrasing a little since I don't have perfect memory. Take from it what you will.

Guy: "Yeah, I really loved this girl and we ended up settling down. That was 26 years ago. I had a daughter with her but things fell apart and it just didn't end well. Must've been 5 years after she was born. I used to visit some neighbors who helped me through the times. One of them had this cute baby. She really reminded me of my daughter and it really brought my spirit up. Guess what though. Now I have a another daughter with that girl."
Me: "Wait....who?"
Guy: "That's right. That baby I used to rock in my hands is now my new baby mama. We have this cute 4/5/6(can't remember) year old girl."

End
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26 / M / NY
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Posted 3/21/13
1/2 your age Plus 8 is the youngest you should date.
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26 / M / NY
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Posted 3/21/13 , edited 3/21/13

hyjinx17 wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


hyjinx17 wrote:

I mean once your 18 I don't have a problem with any age gap, but I know if I have a daughter one day and she's 18 and brings home a 40 year old guy, I'm gonna be severely pissed at him


Should be more pissed at your daughter for choosing him and bringing him home. Can't blame an older guy for being happy that someone younger still finds them attractive and such.


I can't in good conscience break my daughters neck, so he'll have to do


I love it! you may like this. http://parents.berkeley.edu/jokes/76.html
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M / Oregon
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Posted 3/21/13
For me, no. For everyone else, yes.
toxxin 
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22 / In my own little...
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Posted 3/21/13
What happens behind their bedroom door is none of mine or your damn business.
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M / Latitude: 30.7530...
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Posted 3/21/13
It's their choice let them do whatever the hell they want.
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28 / F / California
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Posted 3/21/13
My Dad is 11 years older than my Mom.
I personally think that the "appropriate" age-gap really depends on the couple. I tend to go for older guys or guys my age. I dated a guy in the past that was 10 years older than me, a couple of years ago. I honestly don't plan on doing that again
Posted 3/21/13
2 years older or two years younger than you, anything else and you are just not trying hard enough lollolo
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26 / M / Pennsylvania, US
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Posted 3/22/13
There should be no set formula as long as the relationship is consenting and non-abusive. If I were to set any absolute limit at all, it would only apply to children.
As has been pointed out, an age gap can come with a maturity gap or a difference in what point in life you're at, and those things tend to make the relationship not work out so well. These problems, however, can also occur between people of the same age and are no reason to forcefully intervene in people's personal lives.
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Posted 3/22/13
I know we'd like to believe that it's all fair game. That love is love and that age doesn't matter. But just be honest with yourself for a second. Picture a 19 year old with a 74 year old.

Now I personally don't care what other people do, but I'd still see that as a little strange.
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34 / M / California Centra...
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Posted 3/22/13

If you can't tell the difference between the father of the bride and the groom.
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32 / M / US
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Posted 3/22/13
If both are adults, then there is no real issue.

However, those with significantly different backgrounds will have difficulty finding common ground. This is true for cross-culture relationships as well as differences in age. If people grew up hearing about the same world events and listening to the same music, it is easier to find common ground. When one person remembers president Reagan and the other learned about him in history class, it can cause some difficulties in the relationship.

But I see age as a ratio. When a couple is 9 and 18 years old (that is wrong) that is a 2:1 ratio. When one is 16 and the other is 12, that is a 4:3 ratio or a 1/4 lifetime age difference.

As couples age, they ultimately keep getting closer to the same age. When 9 and 18 years old, the elder of the two is twice the age. People would be horrified if an 18 year-old tried to "date" a 9 year-old. But if a 50 year-old dated a 41 year-old, no one would have a problem. When 50 and 41, that fraction is only 5/4 of a lifetime -- the ratio continues to get smaller and smaller as both age.

I think that, anything with less than 1/5 of a lifespan age difference is ideal and a 1/4 age difference is tolerable (if of legal age). However, it is no one's business what two consenting adults do, so I see no real problems just potential communication barriers.
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