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Post Reply Should there be or is there an age gap-limit for relationships?
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28 / M / USA
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Posted 3/22/13
I love that opinion but I cannot accept it. My reasoning is simple. When we are younger we act very different from when we have matured. yeah old guy loves to date young girl. and young girl is infatuated for the time being because well her hormones are going crazy or there's something she see's in him that she thinks is cool now.
fast forward 7 years and she sees how old he is or lame he is or not cool she thought he was. she feels dirty herself. I dunno there are a lot of things to bring up.

the point is younger people can be taken advantage of.... its the right thing to do for the older person to turn away from the whole ordeal and not give in to lust.

but like the OP said this is more like a 10+ year gap relationship. I don't know where the limit is, but the mature older person needs to be responsible.
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Posted 3/22/13
i agree.

the thing younger people don't realize is that just because your infatuated with someone at the time doesn't mean that you HAVE to have them. Some don't realize at a young age that you can love many people.
I totally believe that there are several girls I could fall in love with.
In a way you even get to choose whether you love someone or not. letting each other in on your deepest secrets and taking the time to enjoy the things that each of you like will strengthen your bond. when you can confide in and trust someone completely, and never feel alone as long as you have them.

i could go to more details but i think people will get the point.
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Posted 3/22/13
I believe the fundamental question is who is responsible for their actions? If you make a poor decision, can you hold the other person accountable for your conduct?

I believe the only time it should be permissible to do so is when there is fraud or coercion (which I have a very strict and literal definition of those terms). The whole idea of criminalizing or judging other people's conduct beyond that is immoral in my opinion. I don't know why people think they need to dictate what is acceptable for other people.
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28 / M / USA
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Posted 3/22/13
its just that if you know someone will be hurt by something and wish more than anything they could take it back and regret it... is it not ok to try and help a little?
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16 / F / ~outside your win...
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Posted 3/22/13
My mom and dad are like 13 tmyears apart...Age doesnt matter, love does
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Posted 3/22/13
yeah but 25 years would matter. my mom and dad are 10 years apart, my boss and his wife are 10 years apart. 13 is just pushing the limit it hasn't broken it yet.
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17 / F / Behind you.
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Posted 3/22/13
Age difference seems a lot less significant as people get older. Like a 20 year old and a 25 year old doesn't look so bad, but a 15 year old and a 20 year old does. Like a lot of people have already said, as long as both parties are old enough and mature enough, it's not really a problem. When I was younger, I've talked to many people older than me online, and when I was 13, had a crush on an 18 year old....yeah, no. XD (Lucky for me, my boyfriend is only a year older than me)
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Posted 3/22/13

KikuTengu wrote:

Age difference seems a lot less significant as people get older. Like a 20 year old and a 25 year old doesn't look so bad, but a 15 year old and a 20 year old does. Like a lot of people have already said, as long as both parties are old enough and mature enough, it's not really a problem. When I was younger, I've talked to many people older than me online, and when I was 13, had a crush on an 18 year old....yeah, no. XD (Lucky for me, my boyfriend is only a year older than me)


This ^

If you're a minor then yes, it matters. If not, then who the hell cares? Well... maybe if the age gap was 70 year old with a 20 year old then...
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17 / F / Behind you.
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Posted 3/22/13

Shrapnel893 wrote:

This ^

If you're a minor then yes, it matters. If not, then who the hell cares? Well... maybe if the age gap was 70 year old with a 20 year old then...


A few years ago, I saw a news story where apparently a 20 year old man and a 70 year old woman fell in love... but they were grandmother and grandson, so that's just messed up. o-o;
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19 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 3/22/13

KikuTengu wrote:


Shrapnel893 wrote:

This ^

If you're a minor then yes, it matters. If not, then who the hell cares? Well... maybe if the age gap was 70 year old with a 20 year old then...


A few years ago, I saw a news story where apparently a 20 year old man and a 70 year old woman fell in love... but they were grandmother and grandson, so that's just messed up. o-o;


Indeed.
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Posted 3/22/13

ChinkyD wrote:

There's the famous "half plus seven" rule. For example, if someone is 30, he/she shouldn't date anyone younger than 22 (30/2 + 7).

But who's to say that rule is right? .

Fixed, and that rule was in xkcd, therefore it is Internet Gospel Truth.
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19 / M / Livingston, Louis...
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Posted 3/22/13
My girlfriend is about three years younger than me. I'm 18. By today's standards, I'm a pedophile, I think. We love each other very much.

Got a problem?

I believe love can come in any shape or form. Now I don't endorse pedophilia, but in the end, when you're fifteen and older, for the most part you should be able to make decisions on your own. I wouldn't let the law dictate my love any day. So what, she's a bit younger than me. But we love each other unconditionally, and in the end, that's all that fucking matters anyway.

Yes I believe in an age gap per say, but only when the naivete of a child is being used against them. When I was fifteen, for the most part I made my decisions. When I was between 4-7, I was not expected to know much, as I was a child, and therefore still had my innocence.
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19 / F / Louisiana
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Posted 3/22/13
My personal limit is 7 years if older, 1 year if younger.

I'm totally picky.

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26 / M / NY
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Posted 3/22/13

creightonja wrote:

First off, there is a lot of people trying to quote law here who have no idea what legal the actual legal precedent is. The laws vary by state, and if you are curious what they are for your area, look up "age of consent" on google for your state or region. It is as low as 14 (in Hawaii), it can have age ranges (16 year olds can date up to 24 in Florida), or be as rigid as 18 plus like it is in California. There are stipulations in the UCMJ for military members and exceptions are common for married minors.

Second, all laws are completely arbitrary number defined by social constructs which people attempt to define through delegations of rights and responsibilities. Physical and mental development are not linear, nor do they abide by artificial sets of rules such as the assumption that people are not legally capable of entering into contracts at age 18. I know people who are 30 who lack the competence of myself at age 15. Biologically speaking, both genders are capable of sexual intercourse after puberty, therefore the general issue that people raise is that younger individuals (especially women) are not capable of deciding their own sexual rights (i.e. statutory rape is considered rape because of the inability of minor to give consent). In my opinion, sex is not a legal contract, nor should we deem people incompetent for taking personal responsibility for their actions solely due to age. We already do this in society when we charge minors (as young as 15) with crimes in adult courts. Sex does carry consequences (pregnancy, STIs, psychological attachment), but I don't personally believe in building societies where we detach people from the consequences of their actions.

Historically speaking, daughters were married off with dowries at very young ages. Juliet was 13 when she was arranged to be married Paris who was 26 while Romeo was 16. Now, I do believe we baby teens and don't give them the opportunity to have good judgment by allowing them to make their own decisions, but that is a result of our society eliminating their personal choices. Our society currently is not in line with our natural development which does seek out sexual partners, even at early ages. Social norms only repress our natural tendencies which only act out the more you repress them.

In summary, it is my personal belief that this is a contextual discussion which can only be addressed when applied to specific circumstances. Laws only serve to remove our judgment to replace it with unnatural, socially constructed rules. This question deals with power structures, social mores, psychological manipulation, individual development, and personal responsibility. This all depends on the individuals who partaking in the actions and the contextual aspects of the situation. I do not judge those who seek out partners far outside their age cohort since I lack knowledge about their character and values. I know people who are competent enough to make sound relationship choices throughout all demographic groups, so I think this question is pointless without knowing specific situations/people.


The age of consent in Hawaii is 16. What you are referring to is the close in age exemption. And the statute in Florida is 94.05 Unlawful sexual activity with certain minors.-- (1) A person 24 years of age or older who engages in sexual activity with a person 16 or 17 years of age commits a felony of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084. As used in this section, "sexual activity" means oral, anal, or vaginal penetration by, or union with, the sexual organ of another; however, sexual activity does not include an act done for a bona fide medical purpose Florida code, Title XLVI, Chapter 794.

So no a 24 year old would be breaking the law. I mentioned that there are exceptions as well. You say that laws are arbitrary numbers so would you have a problem with a 10 year old in a relationship with a 30 year old? Don't be so quick to judge that when we quote law that we do not understand legal precedence.
Posted 3/22/13
Should there be a gap between your teeth
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