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Asexuality
Posted 4/1/13
I think you took my claims and exaggerated them a little or I might have been a little too vague with my statements (I'm sorry if I came off that way) . I don't want to make this an argument, but what I meant by "confusion" was that an individual typically identifies a role(person) he/she may attach with at some point or another they and may decide to experiment with others. (not everyone but the few). Part of the learning process is experimenting and attempting to interpret these concepts both from the self and in your surroundings.

P.S.; I'm well aware that people have different "tastes", but what I was trying to convey is that in my opinion everyone at some point or another has made a decision and by making that decision I believe the concept of asexuality doesn't exist. If I.am honestly offending anyone please correct me. Again I apologize for being vague and offending anyone. Keep it light yet intriguing.
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Posted 4/1/13 , edited 4/1/13
Well being pansexual and knowing it is probably about as common as being asexual, perhaps even less so. Therefore I would have no arguments saying asexuality isn't a legitimate sexual orientation. Logically it seems possible to just not be attracted to others on the basis of their sex and it being innate as I think all sexual orientations are. Perhaps that's where the difference in opinion lies, whether you believe you are born with your sexual orientation or not. And if not, there still has to be some genetic component to it such that a mix of other factors will trigger a propensity to have a sexual preference for a certain sex, none at all, or in my case, "it's irrelevant."
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Posted 4/2/13
firstclassbaka, I in no way mean to jump on your case about it, I just wanted to inform you that what you said could be rather insulting. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt that they are not trying to offend anyone, but it's still possible that they have when not trying to. I still don't follow how making a decision in anyway discredits the concept of asexuality.

Perhaps it is wording that is the problem, or that you haven't explained enough, but either way clarity is the problem I am having in trying to understand your view. I mean, depending on how you interpret what you said it could have many meanings, simply based off connotations attached to word choice.

I don't mean to claim you are saying this, or put words in your mouth, but the way you said it in that last post is vague enough to be taken as saying that at every point people have played with sexualities and thus can't be asexual. Which the problem with that being that we don't decide how we feel, we only decide how to label it. True people choose to identify as asexual, but if they do it's probably because they feel no sexual attractions, which is something they do not decide on.

Still, what you said is vague, it could also range to any meaning to that of which, since people label themselves, perhaps they are only acting as the label, and repressing what they feel. True as that may be for some, it is most likely a small fraction, of an already small fraction of people. And this would/does occur in all groups, of all orientations, and it doesn't deligitmize any of those groups.


I just want to be super clear that I'm not trying to attack you or put words in your mouth, I'm not mad or frustrated, I am however curious of what you think, and why you think it, and want to share my experiences in gender studies with you (and everyone else) so that we can all develop more informed opinions.
Posted 4/3/13
Well anybody who claims to be asexual is VERY IN DENIAL

They are either really in denial or lying to themselves because all human beings (and also dolphins) are sexual beings. We are the only species to make love not just to reproduce but because we enjoy it.

Asexuality is such a lie to be honest. I bet any asexual person finds sex a guilty pleasure, LOL.

A very guilty pleasure hahahaha !!!

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Posted 4/3/13

jeizii wrote:

Well anybody who claims to be asexual is VERY IN DENIAL

They are either really in denial or lying to themselves because all human beings (and also dolphins) are sexual beings. We are the only species to make love not just to reproduce but because we enjoy it.

Asexuality is such a lie to be honest. I bet any asexual person finds sex a guilty pleasure, LOL.

A very guilty pleasure hahahaha !!!



That was really insulting. Go fuck yourself.
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Posted 4/5/13

jeizii wrote:

Well anybody who claims to be asexual is VERY IN DENIAL

They are either really in denial or lying to themselves because all human beings (and also dolphins) are sexual beings. We are the only species to make love not just to reproduce but because we enjoy it.

Asexuality is such a lie to be honest. I bet any asexual person finds sex a guilty pleasure, LOL.

A very guilty pleasure hahahaha !!!



I'm sorry but that is 100% an insult. How do you know how other people feel? If someone can be a homosexual why can't they be asexual? I mean, if humans are naturally supposed to be sexual, aren't they naturally supposed to be straight too? Since you know, a penis and a vagina are supposed to go so well together? It's the same thing as saying homosexuals are in denial of being staight. Which is just plain stupid.
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Posted 4/5/13

jeizii wrote:

Well anybody who claims to be asexual is VERY IN DENIAL

They are either really in denial or lying to themselves because all human beings (and also dolphins) are sexual beings. We are the only species to make love not just to reproduce but because we enjoy it.

Asexuality is such a lie to be honest. I bet any asexual person finds sex a guilty pleasure, LOL.

A very guilty pleasure hahahaha !!!



What is so great about sex anyway?
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Posted 4/5/13
I want to know the ages of the self-proclaimed asexuals. At what point can you distinguish a late bloomer from an asexual person?
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Posted 4/5/13

Dropplet wrote:



“Some people just don’t have any interest in sex, not because of repression or guilt, but simply because that’s how we’re wired. At 24, I’m one of them - I’ve never been ashamed of sex and will happily talk about anything from masturbation to kink and polyamory without embarrassment. However, I’m asexual - I’m not sexually attracted to anyone. While a minority of asexuals are fine having sex, the thought of having sex myself is mildly repulsive - in much the same way that my lesbian friends are repulsed by the thought of having sex with men. Forcing people to be celibate who aren’t naturally inclined to be so is damaging and unhealthy - but insisting that everyone has to have sex to be psychologically healthy is also damaging to those of us who are far happier without it. I know a lot of asexuals who’ve forced themselves into sex they didn’t want because they thought they were broken and abnormal. And when I start my teacher training course in September, I’m anxious that anyone discovering my sexuality will leap to erroneous conclusions based on the assumption that not having sex causes scandals like those seen in the Catholic Church.”
— Helen, Manchester, UK (BBC News)


For more info go to: http://www.asexuality.org/home/


I feel like she'd have more credibility if she were 10 years older
Posted 4/5/13

Dropplet wrote:


jeizii wrote:

Well anybody who claims to be asexual is VERY IN DENIAL

They are either really in denial or lying to themselves because all human beings (and also dolphins) are sexual beings. We are the only species to make love not just to reproduce but because we enjoy it.

Asexuality is such a lie to be honest. I bet any asexual person finds sex a guilty pleasure, LOL.

A very guilty pleasure hahahaha !!!



I'm sorry but that is 100% an insult. How do you know how other people feel? If someone can be a homosexual why can't they be asexual? I mean, if humans are naturally supposed to be sexual, aren't they naturally supposed to be straight too? Since you know, a penis and a vagina are supposed to go so well together? It's the same thing as saying homosexuals are in denial of being staight. Which is just plain stupid.


Haha lol, I guess you took my opinion as an insult, oh wells ! I have nothing to say, I respect your views
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Posted 4/5/13

TheRealEscargotpudding wrote:

I want to know the ages of the self-proclaimed asexuals. At what point can you distinguish a late bloomer from an asexual person?


Well all the asexuals I've met online are 18+ and I would say you could classify yourself as an asexual probably at 16 but you wouldn't know for sure till when you get older. Like for me, I'm 18 and I have no interest in sex nor have a every found someone attractive. I only get attracted (romantically) to a person if I get to know them. I mean, you look at all my past boyfriends and to be honest, they haven't been the best looking guys around. Haha XD
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Posted 4/7/13
Firstly I want to send out a big platonic hug to everyone who just defended the legitimacy of asexuality.


jeizii wrote:
Haha lol, I guess you took my opinion as an insult, oh wells ! I have nothing to say, I respect your views

That wasn't just an opinion, for one you made a claim "Well anybody who claims to be asexual is VERY IN DENIAL " That in itself is an attempt to delegitimize a sexuality, it is not an opinion. An opinion would be, "I believe many people who claim to be asexual are in denial." And even then, it's a terribly misinformed opinion.

Then you make another claim that has no evidence to support it, "because all human beings are sexual beings." Does this mean you feel the need to have sexual intercourse with every person you see, dead or alive? Because if even one person finds just one other person not sexually attractive, it's completely possible that by the same card, there are people who feel that same way, a lack of sexual attraction, to everyone.

"Asexuality is such a lie to be honest." Again, that is not an opinion, it is a claim. So don't try to hide behind saying, "I guess you took my opinion as an insult, oh wells ! I have nothing to say, I respect your views" because it wasn't an opinion, it was a set of insulting claims that attempt to deligitimize an orientation. You obviously do not respect anyone else's views, otherwise you wouldn't claim other's orientations where lies because you didn't understand them.

Lastly I would like to touch on this post:

TheRealEscargotpudding wrote:
I want to know the ages of the self-proclaimed asexuals. At what point can you distinguish a late bloomer from an asexual person?

When is anyone old enough to identify? A child who claims asexuality might be a "late bloomer" yes, but a child that claims to be straight might later learn they feel homosexual instead. You honestly just need to respect that if someone is able to make a decision to identify with an orientation, there is not only reason for it, but probably a decent amount of understanding, and to undermine any orientation at any time can not only be damaging to an individual, but is cruel in it's own respect. Allow people to identify reguardless of age, and be open if they later decide they had it wrong, but don't expect them to change.
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Posted 4/28/13 , edited 4/28/13
I believe that asexuality exists but that it is very rare. I, personally, am still trying to determine if I am actually asexual or if I relate more to the grey-a description.

I desire relationships, yes, but I am realizing as I grow older that the thought of being in a sexual relationship with someone doesn't appeal to me. Perhaps this view will change as I age even further, but as of now, I simply cannot see myself in that kind of relationship. I do and have developed crushes on people, but the attraction has always manifested itself in the overwhelming desire to know the person and become very important to them, just as they are important to me. I've turned down more boys than I can count simply because of the knowledge that being with them would mean becoming more physically involved than I would be comfortable with. I turned down a guy I had a major crush on because I developed mild anxiety over the thought of being in a physical relationship - he had already mentioned sex in the past, I knew what a relationship with him would entail and I just couldn't do it.

I do believe if I were to first develop a strong base relationship with someone without all of the physical aspects, I would be more inclined to participate in them later. Things such as holding hands, hugging, cuddling. I would still be adverse to the idea of sex, but with a strong enough relationship and strong enough trust, I believe I would be willing to explore those aspects as well.


EDIT: Wow, some of the comments in this thread are incredibly rude and insulting. Some of these comments remind me of the ignorance some people have about homosexuals. Saying that asexuals are socially inept and have sexual anxiety is like saying all introverts have social anxiety and low self esteem. Some of these comments are actually making me angry.
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Posted 4/28/13
Seems real to me, I used to work with a guy who purported to be asexual. Early twenties, handsome guy, actually had a girlfriend who was also asexual who I met. Emotionally they were extremely close and they did the typical couple things but apparently never went any farther physically than cuddling and occasionally kissing, finished each other's sentences too which was really creepy.

Nothing wrong with it and i'm sure for most people who are asexual it's not something they chose for themselves.
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Posted 4/28/13
As a certified late bloomer, I'm going to abstain from believing anyone in their teens who claims to be asexual. Too much angst obscuring ego =P

On the topic itself, I have no doubt that it's around...just nowhere near to the extent many on this thread are intent on implying.
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