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How do you convince your parents so you can choose your own path?
a619ko 
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21 / M
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Posted 4/10/13
My parents have never interfered in what I wanted to do.

They've actually supported me all the way through on all my decisions.

I <3 my parents.
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19 / M / Ljubljana SI, EU
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Posted 4/10/13
They simply trust me. I take responsibility for my actions. Also they support my vision and they'll everything to help me on my path. Therefore I don't realy need special methodes to convince them. We simply disscus the matter and then decide.
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31 / M / South of sanity.
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Posted 4/10/13 , edited 4/10/13

mhibicke wrote:

Your parents just want you to have a reliable career in the future. Saying you want to study fashion design is like saying you want to be a diva ballerina, professional athlete, or movie star. Sure, it happens to a few people, but they're all REALLY GOOD at what they do. How good are you with a sewing machine? Have you done any costume design and production for the theater? If you haven't worked in costuming yet, and just put a lot of attention into your appearance and like to shop for new clothes, then might as well be saying you want to be a fairy princess.

.


This pretty much. Fashion Designer frequently falls on the lists of hardest jobs to get because of the number of people choosing to study it and the actual number of jobs that are there. I hate to be one of those saying " don't follow your dream", but ultimately for everyone who achieves a dream with the odds against them, everyone else failed and was worse off for trying(probably).

Having said. Fashion Design seems like it would be an amazing hobby, especially as an Anime Manga fan. Since cosplay is so popular, and probably only going to get more popular you could make costumes and sell them on ebay, or amazon or even at Cons, and make good money on the side. And as a fan you'll probably be able to respond more quickly to trends as well. If that works and is profitable you don't need to stick with what ever it is you DO choose to study.

Anyways, whatever you do choose, I hope that you'll update this thread with your choice. We'll root for you either way
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22 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 4/10/13 , edited 4/11/13

FullMoon91 wrote:

Well, so....
I really want to study fashion design...
But, my parents kinda object to it...
So, I go to psychology major and thought to get into design after this...
Right now, I almost finished my study... So I decided to talk about it with them...
At first, they just went "okay, go ahead you have finished your study..." and so on..
I'm really excited about it...
But, few weeks later, they told me to study law major with my big sis...
Or even told me about getting a psychology specialist...
I asked them again about the design thing... The went silent for a sec... Then say, yea..you can go..
But the next day, they told me, the other things...
Right now, I really confused about what I should do....
Thanks....


Who's paying? If it's them, I think that you should cut some ties. Get a job and/or move out, and save up enough to study what you want. As long as it's your money going into it, they shouldn't legally have a say. Don't expect them to relent, either. You've already studied psychology, which gives you a good stepping stone in the career world. Don't waste it. Use it to help you achieve your dream.
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28 / F / California
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Posted 4/11/13
Well first and foremost, you've got to make your own decisions and go down your own path in life. Yes, your parents can suggest things to you but DO NOT LET THEM DICTATE YOUR FUTURE (especially with what career field you plan on doing)! I would tell them that you really have a passion to go into fashion design and that you don't see yourself doing anything else (that's of course if it is true).

I had the same problem when I first started college and problem just before I entered. My Dad dictated the college I'd go to by telling me that he wasn't going to pay for any other school besides the one I went to and only if I was a nursing major. I've always wanted to be a doctor but he wasn't having that since it costs a lot of money just to go down that route, so I just humored him and did what he said but I was NOT happy. After a while, I just got fed up with it and decided that I was going to change my major to biological science and pursue my dream. I confronted him about it and he was not pleased at all. He stopped paying for my schooling and everything, BUT I didn't let him keep me down. It sucks that I had to take out student loans, but I'm very glad that I stood up to him and went down my own path.

So definitely talk with your parents about it so you don't end up wasting a few years of your life trying to pursue something that you don't even want to begin with
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F / Earth
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Posted 4/11/13

CrossForte wrote:


FullMoon91 wrote:

Well, so....
I really want to study fashion design...
But, my parents kinda object to it...
So, I go to psychology major and thought to get into design after this...
Right now, I almost finished my study... So I decided to talk about it with them...
At first, they just went "okay, go ahead you have finished your study..." and so on..
I'm really excited about it...
But, few weeks later, they told me to study law major with my big sis...
Or even told me about getting a psychology specialist...
I asked them again about the design thing... The went silent for a sec... Then say, yea..you can go..
But the next day, they told me, the other things...
Right now, I really confused about what I should do....
Thanks....


Truth is, in the end, you can't live your life for other people. You have to live your life for yourself. Listen to what your heart tells you. If you would more than anything love to enter the fashion world, and that's what your heart is telling you to do, then you go for it. Get to studying fashion, then start taking the world by storm. And always remember to keep your head held high.


^This....and this is coming from a mom who has a kid who wants to join the military as a pilot & get into combat (plus aeronautical engineering and getting into space). He's practically there. He has a little more to go to get his pilot's licence, and he's got one foot into one of the service academies. I'd rather he be a commercial or private pilot, but that is his dream & his life & he has to live with the consequences. I am actually helping him/supporting him when he needs it, but he is so determined, that other than my signature & maybe a few rides, he doesn't need my help. (scholarships/4.5 gpa/ took 10 classes in one semester!, plus sports, extracurricular, & volunteer work) Not even for money. If you really want to do the fashion thing, be prepared to support your dream on your own & prove to your parents that you're willing to go the distance. Maybe then, after awhile, they'll support you, but you shouldn't count on it. If that really is your dream.......PROVE IT.
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F / Urban South
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Posted 4/11/13

fav_blasian_girl wrote:
After a while, I just got fed up with it and decided that I was going to change my major to biological science and pursue my dream.

Good for you. People always tried to push me into nursing too, which is ridiculous because I would be a horrible nurse. If you really want to be a doctor, try PA. It's two years of professional school, but you walk out essentially able to work as a general practitioner. However, because PAs have to work under a doctor, they aren't responsible for insurance costs or other overhead. I think they usually get about $90k/yr.

However, there is a big difference between pursuing a dream to be a doctor or scientist and trying to be a fashion designer. A BS in a biological field makes you employable, or you can go to graduate school and make yourself much more employable. The thing that most people don't realize about science is that graduate school is tuition-free, and you are paid for the TA work that you do for the department, or for the work you do in your lab.
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26 / M / NY
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Posted 4/11/13

mhibicke wrote:

Your parents just want you to have a reliable career in the future. Saying you want to study fashion design is like saying you want to be a diva ballerina, professional athlete, or movie star. Sure, it happens to a few people, but they're all REALLY GOOD at what they do. How good are you with a sewing machine? Have you done any costume design and production for the theater? If you haven't worked in costuming yet, and just put a lot of attention into your appearance and like to shop for new clothes, then might as well be saying you want to be a fairy princess.

Really, I think your parents are being very kind to you. If my son were to spend years of college wasting my money on a similar childish dream I would tell him to drop out and work until he could be serious about his future.


I'm going to have to thrown in my support for mhibicke here. Psychology and Law are good bets that will ensure a good future. Fashion Design is one helluva gambit to take. Go for the degree in Psychology or Law get a good income started and accumulate a decent savings account enough to last you a couple of years. Then if you want take a hiatus from your practice and try fashion. Your parents are just trying to protect your future. Finish your degree and then when you have a reliable fallback try for your dream.
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25 / M / Norway
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Posted 4/11/13 , edited 4/11/13
They have no right to say anything. Case solved!
EDIT: Sorry for double post. Went a bit fast before reading.
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25 / M / Norway
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Posted 4/11/13 , edited 4/11/13

PhyongHwa wrote:


CrossForte wrote:


FullMoon91 wrote:

Well, so....
I really want to study fashion design...
But, my parents kinda object to it...
So, I go to psychology major and thought to get into design after this...
Right now, I almost finished my study... So I decided to talk about it with them...
At first, they just went "okay, go ahead you have finished your study..." and so on..
I'm really excited about it...
But, few weeks later, they told me to study law major with my big sis...
Or even told me about getting a psychology specialist...
I asked them again about the design thing... The went silent for a sec... Then say, yea..you can go..
But the next day, they told me, the other things...
Right now, I really confused about what I should do....
Thanks....


Truth is, in the end, you can't live your life for other people. You have to live your life for yourself. Listen to what your heart tells you. If you would more than anything love to enter the fashion world, and that's what your heart is telling you to do, then you go for it. Get to studying fashion, then start taking the world by storm. And always remember to keep your head held high.


^This....and this is coming from a mom who has a kid who wants to join the military as a pilot & get into combat (plus aeronautical engineering and getting into space). He's practically there. He has a little more to go to get his pilot's licence, and he's got one foot into one of the service academies. I'd rather he be a commercial or private pilot, but that is his dream & his life & he has to live with the consequences. I am actually helping him/supporting him when he needs it, but he is so determined, that other than my signature & maybe a few rides, he doesn't need my help. (scholarships/4.5 gpa/ took 10 classes in one semester!, plus sports, extracurricular, & volunteer work) Not even for money. If you really want to do the fashion thing, be prepared to support your dream on your own & prove to your parents that you're willing to go the distance. Maybe then, after awhile, they'll support you, but you shouldn't count on it. If that really is your dream.......PROVE IT.



Like I should say it myself. I had enough of doing things because others thinks that is the best for me. Like they know anything...

To FullMoon91
For my situation I can decide that without anyone to involve but you live with your parents. Sounds bad that your parents decide over your dreams. Just my opinion. That is one thing that is good by living alone I guess. Hope you figure out that stuff. Fashion design is a lot more creative and motivating than Laws and Phsychology. Believe me. I tasted a lot of that stuff. Not worth a second for me. Better off doing something that stays creative and positive. Design and music or whatever.
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28 / F / California
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Posted 4/12/13

mhibicke wrote:


fav_blasian_girl wrote:
After a while, I just got fed up with it and decided that I was going to change my major to biological science and pursue my dream.

Good for you. People always tried to push me into nursing too, which is ridiculous because I would be a horrible nurse. If you really want to be a doctor, try PA. It's two years of professional school, but you walk out essentially able to work as a general practitioner. However, because PAs have to work under a doctor, they aren't responsible for insurance costs or other overhead. I think they usually get about $90k/yr.

However, there is a big difference between pursuing a dream to be a doctor or scientist and trying to be a fashion designer. A BS in a biological field makes you employable, or you can go to graduate school and make yourself much more employable. The thing that most people don't realize about science is that graduate school is tuition-free, and you are paid for the TA work that you do for the department, or for the work you do in your lab.


Yeah, I glad that I made the necessary changes for myself. I thought about the PA path, but I have that as my "backup plan". Becoming an MD is definitely what I want to be.
You know its funny, even though I have my degree in biology its still hard to find a good paying job with benefits. They tend to hire people who are older with experience, which sucks but meh. It almost seems like a bachelor's degree is the new high school diploma.
But I've looked into the graduate school for science, specifically stem cell research. I think its awesome that they pay for your schooling and give you a monthly stipend to live off of. I know the genetics program is similar but I haven't looked into any other ones. If I were to go back to school to get my masters, I think it would definitely be for physiology. Thats my true love hehe
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Closed due to inactivity. It's been 6 months and 0 posts.
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