C h a s i n g Y o u
. . .
I was an oblivious, clumsy girl with pigtails when I met you. My Mom had told me about the new neighbors that had moved in, I never would have imagined that they had a son. When I met you and your family during your house warming party, I almost knocked over a large cabinet and killed you.
You were really awkward. When I extended my hand to you for a friendly shake, you just stared at it and stuttered something I couldn't even comprehend. Seconds later, I burst out laughing.
Your house was really big. Unlike mine, you had an extending staircase that I could imagine would take my little feet two hours to climb. I remember when you lead me upstairs to show me to your room, you held my hand, awkwardly of course, and your palm was really clammy. I almost wanted to let go, but I didn't. Your glasses were too big for your head, but I never mentioned it.
Inside your blue painted room we sat on the carpet floor criss-cross apple sauce, it was really awkward after a while. You never could complete a full sentence, and your eyes were always downcast and shy. You could never look me in the eye for more than a few seconds, could you? I wondered why.
I remember the look on your face when I took off your glasses and hid them behind my back, smirking as we ran around your house for an hour. You started to cry after a while, I found you sitting on the steps rubbing your eyes with your fists. I called you a baby, and you started to cry even more. Our parents really hit it off, so naturally, I saw you around all the time. I'd go over to your house, you'd go over to mine. I'd show you some of my most treasured toys, and you'd always get jealous. You loved to collect trains the most, and I loved cars, not dolls like most girls, to your surprise.
You used to make fun of my freckles a lot, but I know you didn't mean to really hurt my feelings. You never made me cry once, instead, you always made me laugh because you were such an awkward boy with big nerdy glasses, and I was the oblivious pig-tailed clumsy girl.
~ * ~
~ * ~ Emi POV ~ * ~
In our teenage years, you still lived in the same house next to mine. We went to the same high school, taking the same bus together, but I didn't have any classes with you. When you turned sixteen, you finally had no need for glasses anymore, your vision was fine. Your eyes were really beautiful behind those frames, did you know that? When I turned sixteen, I outgrew the pig-tailed look and started straightening my hair. It was rather long and went down my back.
You were still as awkward as ever, though. That part of you hasn't changed. Your voice got slightly deeper, but not much. My breasts, on the other hand, were slow to grow compared to the other girls in my grade. I think a lot now that I'm older. When we were little, we were so carefree that nothing seemed to matter except being together everyday. We grew up together, knowing each others flaws, talents, and secrets. They weren't big secrets; just secrets about how I would clumsily knock over dishes on the table and blame it on you.
You told me your big secret before, and I couldn't stop laughing. You liked to lock yourself in your bedroom when everyone was asleep, and watch reruns of My Little Pony. At the same time, when I would laugh and mock you, wiping off tears from my eyes, I couldn't help but to laugh even more at your embarrassed, angry expression.
Time was quick, and by the time we could look back, our high school years were already over. We graduated together, proud and euphoric. Our families threw a giant party for us, and we celebrated for the whole day and night. Spending it with you made it the best feeling in the world.
You told me shortly after graduation, that you would be leaving soon to go to college out of state. It was the college your parents had picked out for you when you were just a child, and it was your dream to go to this college and study Bioenergetics.
I was happy for you, not for one moment did I ever make myself feel sad. I knew even if you would be miles away, we'd still have each other to rely on. I was still undecided about what I wanted to be, but you always told me I was good at drawing so I wondered if I should become an artist. The day I watched your parents in the front lawn, they were loading suitcases into the SUV, and you were probably still in your room debating about whether you should take some of your toys with you.
Did you stop to think, if you should take me with you? Just kidding, I know that wasn't an option. After a few moments of idle waiting, I found the courage to confront your parents and tell them good bye (for the hundredth time). But you, my best friend, I didn't know how to tell you good bye. I sat in my bedroom frequently and debated about whether I should just write you a letter. No, that would be too chicken, and you would definitely call me a sissy. I'd probably say something along the lines of "Bye, see you later."
And you'd reply, awkwardly of course, "Yeah, see you later."
Because goodbye did not mean forever, and we both knew we were too shy and awkward to say anything more when I waited with you at the airport. When it was time for your flight to depart, we just stood there and stared at each other, as if trying to communicate through each others minds and trying to tell eachother what we really wanted to say.
You told me nervously that the bags you were holding were heavy, and you had to go, your parents were right behind you and waiting, so I gave you an awkward hug and let you go.
~ * ~
~ * ~ Nikolas POV ~ * ~
I really wish you didn't cut your hair, I really missed your pig-tails. They made you look younger, and somehow your freckles stood out more. I loved to hear you laugh, even if it was in spite of me. You made fun of me a lot, and even broke my glasses one year. I was so mad at you.
I hadn't been very good at conveying my feelings to you for the longest time, which is embarrassing to even think about. You almost killed me on numerous occasion, claiming you were just clumsy and laughing it off. It was hard to talk to you because I liked you. That's when I could never finish a sentence. That, and you would always talk over me anyways.
This is probably silly, I know you don't feel the same way, so I decided to let those feelings go. I could still see you in the distance with your family, you guys looked like ants. My plane was slowly taking flight, and during those moments I realized something.
I realized as I looked at you through the window with a heavy heart, the thought of you not being around anymore – it wasn't a feeling of mere friendship. It wasn't just because my best friend would no longer be here anymore. It was because, in the process of knowing you, I didn't even realize I was chasing you this entire time.
~ * ~
~ * ~ EPILOGUE: Emi POV ~ * ~
I was never good at speaking my mind, I always kept things bottled up inside. My heart, is also another example. I teased you so much because I liked you. I didn't know another way to show you how much you really meant to me.
I was a dumb little girl, back then. But all of that doesn't matter anymore, it's embarrassing to even be thinking about this. You probably don't feel the same about me anyways, in fact, I'm sure you think deep down inside I'm just an annoying girl to you.
As I watched your plane slowly take flight with a heavy heart, I thought about all the words I could have said to you before you left. But I didn't, I couldn't. I just gave you an awkward hug, and that was that.
I realized something else too, watching your plane fly into the sky, away from me. The thought of you not being around anymore – it wasn't a feeling of mere friendship. It wasn't just because my best friend would no longer be here anymore. It was because, in the process of knowing you, I didn't even realize I was chasing you this entire time.
~ * ~ END ~ *~