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Post Reply *Girls* Would you say anything to a male cross-dresser if you see one in public Ladies room?
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Posted 5/9/13 , edited 5/12/13
EDIT:

A few people are confused about this topic, as I'm not aiming this topic at transgender/transexual people. The group of people I'm aiming this at is male cross-dressers, and here are a few facts about male cross-dressers you can find reference on the internet:

1# Majority of male cross-dressers are heterosexual/straight, many of them have female partners and even children.

2# Majority of male cross-dressers do not involve transsexual desires or wish to physically change sex. Although cross-dressers enjoy wearing women's clothes, the majority seldom want to live their lives as women, nor do they want to become a full-time women.

Feel free to comment of course as this is a free community, but if you don't see me replying to your comment, it is because the points has already been raised by another member, or your argument point is irrelevant to topic, read the following comments for more debates.



Original content:

Okie, let me set this straight - I have no problem with male cross-dressers dressing up as women in public places, because at the end of the day anyone is entitled to dress in the clothes they feel the most comfortable with.

BUT, I encountered a problem a few days ago when I went into a public female toilet at the train station. I saw a male cross-dresser doing his make-up as I was entering the toilet, I didn't know how to react and my face was stunned. He saw how shocked I was so he packed his things almost immediately and left.

Now, I don't want to offend anyone by making this post (because people can get a little over touchy-feely about these kind of topics), but what are your views on male cross-dressers using female toilets? Not transgenders who had sex change and have female private parts, but men dressing up in women's clothes using women's toilets.

I understand why male cross-dressers would feel scared of using men's toilet because they're scared of the unpredictable abuse they may receive in the men's. But I still don't think they should use the ladies room as an alternative choose and here are my points:


- They should use disable/family toilet as they are widely available in public places (at least in the UK), because they are unisex toilets and you have 100% privacy

- It doesn't matter how a man choose to present himself, even if he present himself as a woman on the outside, he still has male body parts and shouldn't be allowed into female toilets

- Young children (boys & girls) are often seen in the female toilets, and having an adult man in the same washroom as small children is really weird

- Any men can disguise themselves as cross-dressers and use it as an advantage to perv on women in the toilets! Also many male cross-dressers are actually heterosexual, so it makes it even more uncomfortable when seeing them in female toilets!
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Posted 5/9/13 , edited 5/9/13
I wouldn't have the guts to say anything but I'd feel uncomfortable and probably leave.

they are not a woman andthey have their own bathroom. For all I know they could be a sex offender and I'll put my safety above their feelings
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Posted 5/9/13
I would stare and it and make it uncomfortable ..
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Posted 5/9/13 , edited 5/9/13
It's a safety issue to me. Yes a male cross dresser may feel uncomfortable being forced to use the men's restroom but I guarantee i'd feel a hell of a lot more uncomfortable with a man just walking in while i'm doing my business. People are in a vulnerable position while using the bathroom and while I know most men wouldn't try and take advantage of that there's too much of a chance of the one guy who will showing up for me to just say "okay it's fine".

Now if the person in question is a pre op transsexual then i'd probably just brush it off. If anything else though this is one of those times where I feel putting the safety of the many over the comfort of the few is a good idea.
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Posted 5/9/13
I use to be afraid of gays until I met a few good friends that were gay.

“Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.” -BF
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Posted 5/9/13 , edited 5/9/13

Pomff wrote:

It's a safety issue to me. Yes a male cross dresser may feel uncomfortable being forced to use the men's restroom but I guarantee i'd feel a hell of a lot more uncomfortable with a man just walking in while i'm doing my business. People are in a vulnerable position while using the bathroom and while I know most men wouldn't try and take advantage of that there's too much of a chance of the one guy who will showing up for me to just say "okay it's fine".

Now if the person in question is a pre op transsexual then i'd probably just brush it off. If anything else though this is one of those times where I feel putting the safety of the many over the comfort of the few is a good idea.


it's funny, I don't think us guys have this issue with bathroom privacy. I've seen a girl with down's syndrome walk into the men's bathroom while I was urinating. I just finished then zipped up and told her she was in the wrong bathroom.

I've also DJed Alt. nights down here in South Florida at parties hosted by the Fetish Factory. Plenty of guys as well as women in drag and bondage have walked into men's and women's restrooms and no one seems to mind.

Pomff, i'm a bit surprised. You don't come across as the type that would seem rattled by this scenario.
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Posted 5/9/13 , edited 5/9/13
I used to work at a place that had a male cross dresser who considered himself transexual and tried to use the womens room. So life experience tells me .... Yes, women definitely will NOT be okay with it and they WILL say something about it.
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Posted 5/9/13

deshicray wrote:

I use to be afraid of gays until I met a few good friends that were gay.

“Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.” -BF


I think you're confused. The problem here isn't about homosexuality, I didn't say anything about lesbians as they are female and they have every right to be in the female toilets as much as I do. But having a man dressing up as a woman and entering into the ladies room is really uncomfortable and create safety concerns for most women using these public toilets. Whether these male cross-dressers are nice or not don't give them an entry pass to the ladies room, how would you feel if you have a little sister or a daughter using the same washroom with a man you don't know?
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Posted 5/9/13 , edited 5/9/13

Karkarov wrote:

I used to work at a place that had a male cross dresser who considered himself transexual and tried to use the womens room. So life experience tells me .... Yes, women definitely will NOT be okay with it and they WILL say something about it.


a "personal" experience you say. What's the deal with the horns Mr. Cow? Post-op or Pre-op?

With that said, I'd err on the side of Man-Cow. While it wouldn't concern me personally most women most likely would not be okay with it.
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Posted 5/9/13
it's pretty simple IMO.... regardless of how you dress or view yourself... if you have a wiener, go to the men's room, if you have a vagina, go to the women's room
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Posted 5/9/13

tinyd0t wrote:
Whether these male cross-dressers are nice or not don't give them an entry pass to the ladies room.


Out of curiosity. If it was a very attractive non cross-dressing male that showed no apparent signs of being a threat. Would you still feel as threatened or less so? Would you react differently?

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Posted 5/9/13

tinyd0t wrote:


deshicray wrote:

I use to be afraid of gays until I met a few good friends that were gay.

“Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.” -BF


I think you're confused. The problem here isn't about homosexuality, I didn't say anything about lesbians as they are female and they have every right to be in the female toilets as much as I do. But having a man dressing up as a woman and entering into the ladies room is really uncomfortable and create safety concerns for most women using these public toilets. Whether these male cross-dressers are nice or not don't give them an entry pass to the ladies room, how would you feel if you have a little sister or a daughter using the same washroom with a man you don't know?


I was using myself as an example. If you want to stop being bothered, try to befriend a cross-dresser. That's what I would do, you'll find out that he's just a girl trapped in a girls body. Just think of him as a really ugly and masculine girl. Since he noticed you felt uncomfortable and he walked away, that shows he understands himself, you and the situation. Why can't others understand them? Not everyone has a bad heart, it's not like he was waiting in the corner ready to find his victims. Anyone could have had the intentions that you are trying to describe, but I don't want to get too deep into that. Simple things like that would make them feel disgusted about themselves. It builds up until his disgust for himself is maxed and move on to society, that's where we get afraid.

This is what I think a better person should react but that's just me trying to be open minded.
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Posted 5/9/13

spacebat wrote:


tinyd0t wrote:
Whether these male cross-dressers are nice or not don't give them an entry pass to the ladies room.


Out of curiosity. If it was a very attractive non cross-dressing male that showed no apparent signs of being a threat. Would you still feel as threatened or less so? Would you react differently?



The appearance of the man won't change the fact the fact that he is a man, the only way I wouldn't ask him to leave is if he looks so convincing as a woman I didn't even notice he has a penis. I think it doesn't matter whether he looks like a threat or not, having a man in the toilet itself is already a threat to me. Of course if that person was a transgender, fair enough I wouldn't mind it because that person is technically a female.
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Posted 5/9/13

tinyd0t wrote:
The appearance of the man won't change the fact the fact that he is a man, the only way I wouldn't ask him to leave is if he looks so convincing as a woman I didn't even notice he has a penis. I think it doesn't matter whether he looks like a threat or not, having a man in the toilet itself is already a threat to me. Of course if that person was a transgender, fair enough I wouldn't mind it because that person is technically a female.


How do you know the person wasn't transgendered? I see your point and I understand your paranoia. But there's a lot of grey areas. I mean you can't ask for a transgendered person to drop their drawers in front of you for a spot check.
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Posted 5/9/13

deshicray wrote:


tinyd0t wrote:


deshicray wrote:

I use to be afraid of gays until I met a few good friends that were gay.

“Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.” -BF


I think you're confused. The problem here isn't about homosexuality, I didn't say anything about lesbians as they are female and they have every right to be in the female toilets as much as I do. But having a man dressing up as a woman and entering into the ladies room is really uncomfortable and create safety concerns for most women using these public toilets. Whether these male cross-dressers are nice or not don't give them an entry pass to the ladies room, how would you feel if you have a little sister or a daughter using the same washroom with a man you don't know?


I was using myself as an example. If you want to stop being bothered, try to befriend a cross-dresser. That's what I would do, you'll find out that he's just a girl trapped in a girls body. Just think of him as a really ugly and masculine girl. Since he noticed you felt uncomfortable and he walked away, that shows he understands himself, you and the situation. Why can't others understand them? Not everyone has a bad heart, it's not like he was waiting in the corner ready to find his victims. Anyone could have had the intentions that you are trying to describe, but I don't want to get too deep into that. Simple things like that would make them feel disgusted about themselves. It builds up until his disgust for himself is maxed and move on to society, that's where we get afraid.

This is what I think a better person should react but that's just me trying to be open minded.


I actually dated a guy who is a closet cross-dresser, but the fact is that a man is a man, he has man's private part and I cannot imagine him to be a bad looking girl. I'm not say all male cross-dressers would do anything bad to other girls in the female toilets, but what-if a sexual predator was to dress up as a cross-dresser and prey on women/children in the bathroom? Also, if you have read resources about them, most cross dressers are actually straight, and that makes it even more uncomfortable for women as these men can get arouse in the toilet whilst we're doing our business. If you put it that way, then gay men should have more right than straight male cross-dressers to enter into female toilets as gay men are not sexually attracted to women.

Also, I don't feel disgusted by them, people can do whatever they want and dress however they like, but when that freedom clash with my privacy/safety concern then I have to stand up to it.
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