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Lost in love
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21 / M / sydney
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Posted 5/21/13
What should i do (or what would you do) if the person i extreamly love friend zoned me. Ok she never said she friend zone me but we've been pretty close family friends since year 5 (that's 7 years ago) and the way she talks to me, i feel like i got friend zoned. I'm not the type of guy to show my emotions and i keep a straight face 24/7, especially around her. There isn't anything special about my life, i go to school, study when i get home and prob play a game or two before continue study and sleeping. The only exciting moment in my life is talking to her or helping her study. I've only started to 'love' her 4 years ago and since then, i've been killing myself emotionally. It's not easy to confess to her when she is calling you a brother from time to time. I don't say it because in her prespective, wouldn't it feel wrong to have a brother confessing to you? And i'm also scared that she might not be friend if it turned out the bad way. I know the probability is low but i don't want to even take 1% risk in lossing her as a close friend.

I did ask ONE of my trusted friend about it, but he instantly responded and told me to confess. Due to the instant response, i didn't think he was give me the right advice; i wanted him to actually analyise the situation then make a proper decision but everyweek (for a month so far) he tells me to confess. I don't know what should i do. Any suggessions are welcome but i'm particular looking for people who have been in similar situation to mine.

Thanks
Posted 5/21/13
Doubt this thread will really be allowed as it is a personal thread but whatever.

If you are too scared to lose her then just give it up and forget about it. If you are ready to man up though then just go "I have something to tell you" then kiss her.
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22 / M / Australia
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Posted 5/21/13 , edited 5/21/13
Wtf is this confess shit....just ask her out.


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M / Texas
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Posted 5/21/13
If she flat out turns you down, move on. It sounds harsh, but life is too short to pine over one person who will not reciprocate your love.
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26 / M
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Posted 5/21/13
I've struggled with the friend zone before. I tell you now, if you do not confess and make yourself stand out of that zone, then you will never have the relationship you want with her. Love always takes quite a bit of effort. I found that out the hard way. I let it slip from me and I was too late. Don't wait. If she says no, then you can either keep trying till she sees you differently, or at least you now know so you can look for others to like. Either way, you do yourself no favors by just waiting. Hope my two cents help
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Posted 5/21/13 , edited 5/21/13

?
Posted 5/21/13

botogamer wrote:

I've struggled with the friend zone before. I tell you now, if you do not confess and make yourself stand out of that zone, then you will never have the relationship you want with her. Love always takes quite a bit of effort. I found that out the hard way. I let it slip from me and I was too late. Don't wait. If she says no, then you can either keep trying till she sees you differently, or at least you now know so you can look for others to like. Either way, you do yourself no favors by just waiting. Hope my two cents help


Or just bring out the rope and duct tape. Soundproof a basement ahead of time though.
Posted 5/21/13
Nah, you should definitely never tell her that you love her and what not, because you know, rejection is scary and shit. She's bound to know sooner or later anyway right?
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M / Dublin, Ireland (...
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Posted 5/21/13 , edited 5/21/13
You'd be better off confessing to her sooner rather than later, or you'll end up like me. Not even in the friendzone, rather in the that-creep-nobody-talks-to-zone.

I'm extremely harsh on myself, I should stop. For all I know, at least one girl likes me in that respect.
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26 / M
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Posted 5/21/13

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


botogamer wrote:

I've struggled with the friend zone before. I tell you now, if you do not confess and make yourself stand out of that zone, then you will never have the relationship you want with her. Love always takes quite a bit of effort. I found that out the hard way. I let it slip from me and I was too late. Don't wait. If she says no, then you can either keep trying till she sees you differently, or at least you now know so you can look for others to like. Either way, you do yourself no favors by just waiting. Hope my two cents help


Or just bring out the rope and duct tape. Soundproof a basement ahead of time though.


Damn it you should have said that first. Now I bought this rope and duct tape for nothing
..........
....................
............................

(In case you didn't get it, I don't have a basement.... This joke feels wrong haha)
Posted 5/21/13

botogamer wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


botogamer wrote:

I've struggled with the friend zone before. I tell you now, if you do not confess and make yourself stand out of that zone, then you will never have the relationship you want with her. Love always takes quite a bit of effort. I found that out the hard way. I let it slip from me and I was too late. Don't wait. If she says no, then you can either keep trying till she sees you differently, or at least you now know so you can look for others to like. Either way, you do yourself no favors by just waiting. Hope my two cents help


Or just bring out the rope and duct tape. Soundproof a basement ahead of time though.


Damn it you should have said that first. Now I bought this rope and duct tape for nothing
..........
....................
............................

(In case you didn't get it, I don't have a basement.... This joke feels wrong haha)


It's cool. I don't have one either. Would have to find a family that does and...well...I am sure there is room for them down there as well.
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25 / M / Canada
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Posted 5/21/13
Don't confess your love to her... Just ask her out on a date! You've known each other for 7 years, odds are that you've seen each other at your best and worst. If she's not open to it, then you let go and move on to the next girl. As someone above said, the worst you can do for yourself is wait for her. By doing that you let many other prospects of relationships/love pass you by.
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23 / F / canada
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Posted 5/21/13
i dnt think its a decision that is so easy to make. i remember i kind of had a crush on my bestfriend. but i never told him in the end and he started dating my friend; so in the end i never really told him and we were able to stay friend and eventually i moved on too.

If you decide to confess to her , you're taking the risk of losing her, expecially since she only sees you as a brother. But sometimes you also need to take some risks to get what you want, and before she gets a boyfriend.

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Posted 5/21/13
i understand your problem, i was in that kind of situation too, and what i was trying to do.. try to tell him even a little hint of my feeling.. and of course confessing is always the best way so you won't in pain for long.. still scared of losing someone you love then.. think more why you would act like this..and decide the best for yourself..
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24 / M / SoCal
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Posted 5/21/13
What do you fear more? never being more than a friend to her or knowing you never took the chance to be more than a friend? With how long you two have known each other for, and depending on how your relationship is there is a chance that even if you get turned down she wont stop being your friend. Don't go crazy and show up one day with flowers for her and all that stuff, just ask her on a date and see how things go. Plus just imagine how you'll feel if she goes out with another guy, and you know that it could have been you if you had tried.

Best of luck
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