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Post Reply Why does it have to be difficult to find a GF?
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21 / M / riverside california
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Posted 5/27/13
ive noticed that it get pretty difficult to find a GF after leaving highschool, ive been having this problem lately and i know im not that bad looking, im just average, but is average not enough. and i know several people right now who are having this problem, and i noticed that it gets increasingly difficult when you reach your 20's. i was just wondering if so many more people are having this problem as well or if just me and people i know. (and i guess this is more of a forum to try and help me meet someone, even if its just to make a friend cause making friends is nice sometimes )
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32 / M / houston, tx
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Posted 5/27/13
Why does it even matter to get a girlfriend in the first place? Just live your life and be happy for it. Don't sweat the small stuff like girls or being cool. Eventually you will meet someone that wants to share your life and your passions with you. I know it sounds cliche, but after 12 years out of highschool and a lot of soul searching, that is the conclusion I came up with.
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102 / M / The Milky Way Galaxy
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Posted 5/27/13
Take a moment and ask yourself what you think of average looking girls. There are a ton of easy girls everywhere if you're good looking, but it's an entirely different story if you're not. It's the same story if you reverse the genders. I don't think you should just float by life like a turd because you can't find a girl. Just be confident and express your interest to as many women as possible until you find what you're looking for. It's also pretty easy to find women in your 20's if you go to a bar or a club.
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22 / M / SoCal
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Posted 5/27/13
I don't know your situation but chances are its because there are fewer opportunities for you to see the same girl on multiple occasions. Getting to know a girl first is a bit important. Highschool allows for frequently seeing the same girls and allows you to get to know them first. Some things to fix this would be to either get a job, as coworkers are easy to get to know. Go to college, pretty much the same as highschool only a million times better. Go out more and get to know friends of friends.

Anyways good luck on your search, and finding a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend probably isn't the right approach.
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23 / M / only kami neko knows
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Posted 5/27/13
Just become more cooler
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31 / USA
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Posted 5/27/13
It's only hard when you are "picky."
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Posted 5/27/13
Must be the money and how you use it.
Posted 5/27/13 , edited 5/27/13

anim3luvr wrote:

ive noticed that it get pretty difficult to find a GF after leaving highschool, ive been having this problem lately and i know im not that bad looking, im just average, but is average not enough. and i know several people right now who are having this problem, and i noticed that it gets increasingly difficult when you reach your 20's. i was just wondering if so many more people are having this problem as well or if just me and people i know. (and i guess this is more of a forum to try and help me meet someone, even if its just to make a friend cause making friends is nice sometimes )


I know the feel, bro. Not that I'm looking or anything, but as for me it is difficult in that everyone is COMPLETE strangers. At least in high school you basically knew about everyone - such as hearing gossip or something like that - so that you knew what you were essentially 'getting into' in dating someone. Now if I tried to date a girl I would go in not knowing if she's a slut, a serial killer (jodi arias), or just a plain jerk. I mean yeah sure you get to know someone before dating or during dating but no one can deny in high school you sorta know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE.

Also, I don't think girls finding someone attractive is all about 'looks'. I will admit naturally as humans we are always attracted to the outside first. As for me though when I meet a girl (whether she be average looking or whatever) if I start to like her she turns into the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. That's why I believe it is all about how you present yourself and your attitude.

v haha
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20 / F / Wanderer in Texas
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Posted 5/27/13 , edited 5/27/13
It's not about the money, money, money. We don't need your money, money, money. We just wanna make the world dance, forget about the price tag. It certainly isn't about the cha-ching cha-ching or the ba-bling ba-bling.

Honestly, you just have to put yourself out there. Go to parties or out with friends and meet other people. You gotta let your inner pimp nasty out and wow the ladies. Us girls like a sense of humor, well majority of us.
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23 / M / Los Angeles, Ca
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Posted 5/27/13

anim3luvr wrote:

ive noticed that it get pretty difficult to find a GF after leaving highschool, ive been having this problem lately and i know im not that bad looking, im just average, but is average not enough. and i know several people right now who are having this problem, and i noticed that it gets increasingly difficult when you reach your 20's. i was just wondering if so many more people are having this problem as well or if just me and people i know. (and i guess this is more of a forum to try and help me meet someone, even if its just to make a friend cause making friends is nice sometimes )


Very common feel indeed, there are tons of books written about the subject. But long story short you just need to be confident in yourself and that attracts women. See a girl you find interesting (it can be anywhere) approach her and start a conversation, give her your number before you leave. If she is interested shell give you a call/text back if not fuck it, no worries you move on to the next girl.
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21 / M / riverside california
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Posted 5/27/13
i understand your point basalisk, but its more of im tired of being lonely and im looking for someone to hang out with, it gets lonely sometimes, and im using this mostly to meet someone, thats the first step, even if its not for a relationship, having someone with similar interests is nice to have, someone to talk to and have fun. thats a step i need to take before i can get anywhere, and bars and clubs dont really work for me cause im not a drinker and i get very uncomfortable in large crowds hence why im using the internet to give this a try
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22 / F / in the TARDIS wit...
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Posted 5/27/13

anim3luvr wrote:

ive noticed that it get pretty difficult to find a GF after leaving highschool, ive been having this problem lately and i know im not that bad looking, im just average, but is average not enough. and i know several people right now who are having this problem, and i noticed that it gets increasingly difficult when you reach your 20's. i was just wondering if so many more people are having this problem as well or if just me and people i know. (and i guess this is more of a forum to try and help me meet someone, even if its just to make a friend cause making friends is nice sometimes )


Most people in their twenties have just finished college or university, so probably most of them are thinking about their future seriously I guess. People especially in their late twenties date others to find potential marriage partners so I guess that's why people set their standards a tad higher.

But don't worry. You'll find someone. Finding love isn't one of those things you shouldn't rush, and don't feel bad about yourself for not being handsome enough. She'll love you for the person that you are. :)

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F / West
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Posted 5/27/13
You are more likely to meet someone when you are NOT looking, just be open to meeting new people and then when you least expect it...there she will be, even if she starts out a friend, that later develops into more. There are a lot of meetup groups online that get together offline, with similar things in common...especially if you are looking for something real, and not an online relationship.
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21 / M / riverside california
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Posted 5/27/13 , edited 7/13/13
ya ive tried the not looking, got 1 GF 3 years ago and it lasted 2 years before she broke up with me for a simple reason, it was nothing i did, it was simply she didnt love me the same way as when we started. then i tried not looking again and its been year and nothing is going so well, ive had one GF in my entire life over the not looking strategy, i just want someone to talk to.it would be nice, i guess ill rephrase and say instead of looking for a GF im looking for a good friend instead


and by 20's i mean im 20, and not going to school so im not out and about as much and dont make much human contact, but thats because im kinda anti-social and dont like crowds of people. so i thought the internet would be better for me

im also not super picky just someone with similar interests so that we could have something to talk about.

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29 / M
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Posted 5/27/13
If you compare finding GF/love from when you were 15-16 to when you are in your 20s i would say theres a great difference between those 2 age and what you look for, like sexual prefferences, hobbies change, goals in life some will start look for a partner to settle down with, others look for fun so i would say the reason its harder is because theres so much more matching veriations than in high school
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