Remove this ad
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  Next  Last
Post Reply How do you go about handling a conversation?
Posted 5/30/13
Are we talking about a conversation with a new friend, a relative, a prospect superior for a new job, some random person at school or that hot chick downtown who you just have to ask for a number? For the latter one, I'd say just keep yapping about anything and everything and you'll be fine. At least I normally am. A person who requires a more conservative aproach is a tad harder.
14916 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
18 / M / Pennsylvania
Offline
Posted 5/30/13

theGreatDisapointment wrote:

Are we talking about a conversation with a new friend, a relative, a prospect superior for a new job, some random person at school or that hot chick downtown who you just have to ask for a number? For the latter one, I'd say just keep yapping about anything and everything and you'll be fine. At least I normally am. A person who requires a more conservative aproach is a tad harder.


we are talking about all of the above if you so wish it friend
14916 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
18 / M / Pennsylvania
Offline
Posted 5/30/13

Hairbelly wrote:


Shy-Anime-Guy wrote:



Really all i do is try to get the other person to elaborate on how their day was and the stuff they are interested in. its a good way to go about it but sometimes I hit a dead end or i'm at a loss for words. :x


That's a great start. "Everybody wants to hear their name..." as the band Love & Rockets once sang.

Always take an interest in the person you're speaking with. By-the-way, you're always speaking with someone... you're not talking to them. You talk to your kids. You speak or talk with your friends, clients, lovers, etc... Keep eye contact as much as possible. Lack of eye contact, lack of interest.

So back to where you're at: ask them about themselves, listen to them, confirm or deny them, AND then as the conversation begins to gap or they tire of talking about themselves, begin adding a bit about yourself using the same questions you asked them.

As you interject a bit about you, ask them what they think. Get them involved in evaluating your responses.

Try to keep it as positive as possible. Always keep it upbeat when speaking with clients, co-workers, and superiors. Always. Two things about negative conversations: they dead end (always) and they eventually burn people out.

Don't gossip. "He who gossips to you, gossips about you." Gossip is the lowest form of conversation. Leave if for those that have the intellectual agility of a small soap dish.

Be topical. If the conversation is beginning to wind down, but you sense the person wants to go on or you have time to kill, keep some news stories in you "pocket" and talk about them. Don't forget to ask them what they think about it/them. Or, bring up broader ideas. Food... almost always a good topic. Try to stay away for politics & faith if you can.

If you're not interested in someone, don't fake it. Don't "act" like you care if you don't care. Be kind and bow out gracefully. Don't feign interest in people. It harms them and yourself.

Good luck and enjoy!

thanks for this info i read something really similar in my book at home that i just finished a little while ago called "how to win friends and influence people." it was a really good read hahah i suggest it to anyone interested in stuff relating to this topic.

its true people do love hearing their name, and they do like it spelled right too..

that last part really helps^^; sometimes i do feign interest. :x

gossip, never hahah. that stuffs lame

good tips man, thanks again :D
Posted 5/30/13




Speak at the last moment
6435 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Los Robles Avenue
Offline
Posted 5/30/13

TheRealEscargotpudding wrote:

Alternatively,



mom? Is that you?
19922 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / US
Offline
Posted 5/30/13
I say first make eye contact. That shows that at least you acknowledge the person. After that, it's all about what is appropriate to say. Depends on who the person is. For example, you'd talk one way to your parents than you would a friend.
14916 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
18 / M / Pennsylvania
Offline
Posted 5/30/13

ahatestory wrote:

Much as they say a writer should write what they know, it is best to talk about your interests - the conversation will flow much more naturally that way. People love to talk with somebody that is passionate about their subject.

That being the case, I suggest making every effort to bring the topic of your conversations around to anime. You will never find yourself unable to hold up your end of the conversation again, and nobody can accuse you of being quiet, shy, anti-social or anything of the like.

Very important: don't be the guy that talks about the weather. There's nothing interesting to say about the weather; everybody already saw the weather before they ran into you, on their way to school or work. The only people that really care about the weather are weathermen, much the same way that the only people that care about the winning numbers to a lottery are the people gambling on it.

Always remember that the key to good conversation is making sure that people find it interesting enough to mention your conversation to others afterward. Nobody ever says, "Yeah, so I was talking with Frank earlier and he said it was getting a bit warm lately". I guarantee you, though, if you talk to people about anime, it'll come up in their conversations later in the day.


hmm you're talking to some interesting people then, most people only really care about their interests and how their day is going and such rather than say.. my interests or how my day is going. well deep down thats what they care for at least. think about this, when you see a group picture of you and your friends who do you look for first? :p
Posted 5/30/13 , edited 5/30/13

Shy-Anime-Guy wrote:

I can't lie and say that I'm not interested xD. I want to know how you guys start, continue, and end your conversations. How you keep them going, how you keep them interesting.. stuff like that :D

Really all i do is try to get the other person to elaborate on how their day was and the stuff they are interested in. its a good way to go about it but sometimes I hit a dead end or i'm at a loss for words. :x


I ask questions like crazy and don't let silence creep in lol. Now when I get to know someone I can let silence in, but when I'm first meeting a person I feel as if I have failed if I let the silence creep in haha.
1494 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / F / Hawaii "OAHU"/ HNL
Offline
Posted 5/30/13
Sometimes being a listener is all you need. When it comes too girls mostly listening will come in handy. Guys, just start talking about common interests. Starting conversations seem scary before you do it, its not. You talk to everyone, talking is normal so just act as casual as possible.
Ending a convo is the best part lol.
If you are too sweet to just be like "oh I gotta go no bye!". Then just do what I do! Be like " Hey I gotta use the bathroom real quick. I'll catch up with you later!"
15516 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / No
Offline
Posted 5/30/13
I just stand there and use the appropriate expressions when listening.
36905 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Sacramento, CA
Offline
Posted 5/30/13
Man, I'm horrible at starting conversations. I'm so socially awkward. :-(
15611 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
32 / M
Offline
Posted 5/30/13

Shy-Anime-Guy wrote:


ahatestory wrote:

Much as they say a writer should write what they know, it is best to talk about your interests - the conversation will flow much more naturally that way. People love to talk with somebody that is passionate about their subject.

That being the case, I suggest making every effort to bring the topic of your conversations around to anime. You will never find yourself unable to hold up your end of the conversation again, and nobody can accuse you of being quiet, shy, anti-social or anything of the like.

Very important: don't be the guy that talks about the weather. There's nothing interesting to say about the weather; everybody already saw the weather before they ran into you, on their way to school or work. The only people that really care about the weather are weathermen, much the same way that the only people that care about the winning numbers to a lottery are the people gambling on it.

Always remember that the key to good conversation is making sure that people find it interesting enough to mention your conversation to others afterward. Nobody ever says, "Yeah, so I was talking with Frank earlier and he said it was getting a bit warm lately". I guarantee you, though, if you talk to people about anime, it'll come up in their conversations later in the day.


hmm you're talking to some interesting people then, most people only really care about their interests and how their day is going and such rather than say.. my interests or how my day is going. well deep down thats what they care for at least. think about this, when you see a group picture of you and your friends who do you look for first? :p


Nah, I was just trying to see if I could make talking about anime to random people seem viable; I honestly don't recommend it.

While it is true that it is easier to hold up your end of the conversation when talking about something you're interested in, if the other party doesn't share that interest, it'll be difficult for them; they'll probably feel bored, uncomfortable or annoyed.

If you find somebody willing to listen to you talk about anime when they aren't interested in anime, you've probably found somebody that is a good listener, bored, enjoys conversation, lonely, or perhaps finds you interesting enough to put up with a conversation topic they don't care about.

Talking about the weather is safe, but dull - the only good point to it is that you might be able to segue it into talking about plans for that day or those upcoming. From there you might be able to involve yourself in those plans, if you're the social type. It won't matter much if you're like me and spend most of your time inside.

It is also true that if your conversation is interesting, it is more likely to come up in later conversation or otherwise stick in somebody's mind, but people are just as likely to talk negatively about you if your conversation annoys them, so that rule isn't really good to go by either.

I agree with you that most people prefer to talk about their interests.
The thing to keep in mind though, is that people do gain interests throughout their lives, and I'm sure that for some people interests have been gained as the result of a conversation where something was mentioned and they thought it interesting enough to look into it.

Regarding group pictures, I can't say I end up in many pictures, I tend to avoid them. I'd probably find myself looking at whoever looked most interesting in the picture, which would generally not be me, I'm fairly low key.
1536 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
19 / F / Somewhere fun
Offline
Posted 5/30/13
I am terrible at starting and keeping a decent conversation. They usually go like this:

"Hi."

"Hey."

"What's up?"

"Nothing much, you?"

"Nothing much."

(painfully long silence)

"Um...so I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Bye."

I have tried to say things to keep a conversation alive, but I fail every time. I'm just a very socially awkward person.
1811 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Earth
Offline
Posted 5/30/13
Do I sound stupid?

My God, I sound so dumb right now.

I hope I'm not bothering them by speaking...

Fuck, I am, I better just isolate myself now!!

I should make more jokes so I'm funny!


^ that's me
27639 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / F / In My imagination.
Offline
Posted 5/30/13
I'm usually the one who keeps the conversation alive with my CLOSE friends, if its a new person I reallllllly wouldnt give a damn, hey and bye and that's it
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.