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Post Reply What's a good way to gain some self-confidence?
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16 / M / Georgia - GA
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Posted 6/7/13
Lift, Sleep, Repeat, (optional) Get The Girl
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19 / M / Philippines
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Posted 6/7/13

saksiss wrote:

Drink lots and lots of alcohol!


I am now drunk and high at the same time. still i dont have the confidence to call my professor (who i have a crush on) and tell her how i feel.
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20 / F / Asia, Earth. :]
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Posted 6/7/13
I'm not sure how I overcome it, it just happens.
Just don't hide yourself inside the box. Try to surround yourself with people. Act what you always do.
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Posted 6/7/13
First thing..you MUST like yourself. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Doesnt matter if others dont see. You have to believe in you...and you have to understand that failure is ok..try to learn from it, don't let failure define who you are..or who you will become.
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Posted 6/7/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

Stop being around people, sorry but this is the truth.

If you surround yourself with people, one of them are bound to drag you down....which is why I have no friends.


I understand exactly what you are saying. Sadly, it's true.

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M / California
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Posted 6/7/13
I hear that streaking in public is a good way to build up confidence
Sogno- 
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Posted 6/7/13
eat protein

always helps me
Posted 6/7/13
Go out with someone uglier than you
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17 / M / Gotland, Sweden
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Posted 6/7/13
There are two videos on youtube that really helped me. Both are in Swedish so i'll just write a short summary.

"Why should you care so much what others think? Why can't you just do what you want to do?"
Most people are not very different from you. Do you care if someone embarrasses themselves in public? most likely not. People live in there own little bubbles that are centered around themselves. When you go to bed and your mind wanders the only person in your head is you. "Did I do that right? Could I've done that differently? Should I have said that?" They are not thinking about what you did. We do not notice this because we only think of ourselves.

If you are ever nervous just think that people are just like you. Nervousness is always there. Everybody is nervous. You have to see the whole picture. Nobody judges you more than you do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-ql6OFnwVg <Has some sick dancing in it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPiA4Uus4lE

Hope my summary helps.
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15 / M / A Wall in the Heart
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Posted 6/7/13
The way I see it, there are four things that might help you with this problem.
The first would be to have an apathetic attitude to other's opinions.
The second would be to engage in public speaking more often.
The third would be to cross-dress regularly.
The fourth would be to remember that whatever you are doing will not kill you (hopefully), so that it is okay to mess up.
The world won't end, so loosen up. Remember that just about everyone else has the same problem- just hiding it differently. Being too overconfident is also a bad thing, so take a deep breath and forget about your worries for the moment.
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20 / M
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Posted 6/7/13
Honestly the one thing I recommend is changing up your style. Actually care about how you dress and look most of the time that's all you need for self-confidence. I mean before I didn't really care about they way I dressed and looked until my friends suggested I change up my style a bit. So what did I do? I dyed my hair, and started to straighten it and started to care about how I dressed. I mean instead of buying random clothes I looked more into the fit of the clothing, and if you want that Asian style all you have to do is shop on yesstyle. And it was definitely and improvement because I did feel a ton more confident in myself because you know what they say look good feel good... although it is pretty cheesy.
Posted 6/7/13

CalifCat wrote:

1. Laugh a little but don't doubt

Really self-confident people don't take themselves too seriously; they're so confident and comfortable in their own skin, they don't need to. Human beings waste lots of energy trying to be seen as like other people around them, but self-confident people don't have to be like everyone else.

Self-confidence means allowing for your own differences, so learn to relax with your peculiarities, idiosyncrasies, and eccentricities. And know that recognizing your own differences doesn't mean you have to doubt your decisions.

Knowing your weak areas and being comfortable with knowing what you are not so good at is a cornerstone of self-confidence.

2. Be prepared to fail with confidence

Self-confidence gives you the freedom to make mistakes and cope with failure without feeling that your world has come to an end or that you are a worthless person. We hear a lot about having the confidence to be successful, but it takes self-confidence to fail and manage that failure in ways that don't damage your self-esteem.

This is important: Self-confidence doesn't consist of knowing for sure something will go well. It has more to do with relaxing with the certainty that you can handle uncertainty, even if that means some kind of failure. Real self-confidence imbues you with an overriding sense of "whatever happens, I'll be okay!" It's bigger than both success and failure.

3. Focus on your strengths

It's so easy to dismiss or forget what you've achieved, what you're good at, your personal positive attributes. Regularly take stock and take time to dwell on all the stuff you know you do well. Don't dismiss things because they seem natural or easy to you: "Oh, anyone can bake a cake, write a piano concerto, help make an upset friend feel better, make others laugh!"

Write a list now of absolutely everything you know you can do either well or just proficiently. It might be as simple as driving your car or giving a speech, writing neatly or knowing how to sing. But remember: don't dismiss it because whatever it is, millions of people can't do it.

The essence of self-confidence is having faith not only in your own abilities but also in your own potential.


^ I like this.

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21 / M / Amegakure
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Posted 6/7/13

rjtam_00 wrote:


saksiss wrote:

Drink lots and lots of alcohol!


I am now drunk and high at the same time. still i dont have the confidence to call my professor (who i have a crush on) and tell her how i feel.


It's simple.. Drink MORE.
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15 / F / USA
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Posted 6/22/13
First you have to learn to stop caring about what other people will think. You can't be confident if you only worry about what others think, forget about them and go for it.
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20 / F / Wherever the wind...
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Posted 6/22/13
The only way is to not give a sh!t about what other people think. Although that's usually easier said than done.

Try to start with thinking that once you're out of people's sight, you're out of their mind. Chances are, they'll forget about any embarrassing stuff you do or say. Seriously, rarely will you find a person whose thoughts will dwell on everything you do so it's not worth worrying about what they think. They'll soon forget, anyway.
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