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Post Reply Would you ever give up?
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22 / M / SoCal
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Posted 6/9/13
I have been in a relationship with a girl for 3 years now and I am at a point where I am asking myself wether or not I should call it quits. I know it isn't the same as a marriage but nevertheless it is still a rather large chunk of time and a ton of memories that I have made with her. I don't have an answer to give you, as I am struggling to find one myself but then again none of us here are truly able to give you advice on this. Take your time and really think about it. In the end you need to think about what is best for you. I sincerely wish you the absolute best and I hope things work out for you.

As far as wether or not I would quit.. I am terrified of uncertainty. I hate not knowing what will happen and I grow attached to my surroundings when I become comfortable with them. I am the kind of person who may be more willing to stay committed to someone I know is not good for me because I am afraid of what will happen if things change. Its something that drives me crazy about myself and I am trying to change it.
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25 / M / Sydney, Australia
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Posted 6/9/13
I would.

I'm the type of person who can dissociate with anybody as quickly as that.

Some things that would drive me to give up are:

- I feel lonely, I feel like I was not being loved in the marriage
- Drama/argument most of the week
- If I feel the spouse is bringing negative energy into my life and having bad influences over me
- If I find out the spouse has an addiction problem like gambling or drugs, and he's not making an effort to change it.
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19 / F / California
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Posted 6/10/13
i never been married. but if its failing, n u dont feel right end it. terminate that shit
12947 cr points
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Posted 6/10/13
I give up when she gives up.
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35 / M / Northern California
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Posted 6/10/13
Speaking as someone who is happily divorced...

I obviously have given up on a marriage, and honestly, it was only because my ex gave up. If one person decides to give up, then no progress will be made unless that mindset were to change. I definitely wasn't happy then, and in hindsight, I know the exact point at which I should have given up, if I were to have done so before she did. As I often say, hindsight isn't 20/20...it's myopic. I'm not married now, but I am wiser for having had the experience: Namely, I know everything I don't want in a partner, and especially don't want to see in a marriage.
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M / Texas
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Posted 6/10/13
Was married for 8 1/2 years, was with the girl for 10 years. I eventually walked away.

There comes a time when you have to accept the cold hard fact that some things are not meant to be. Yes, a marriage takes work, but when your marriage begins to negatively impact your day to day life, then you know there is a big problem. Counseling can help, but in some cases it doesn't. It is at this point where you have to make a very hard decision. My ex wife and I stayed together far longer than we should have. We ended up wasting several years where we could have been off living the lives we wanted. Neither of us were happy. Finally, in December 2009, I packed up my things and left and never went back. We were divorced about 10 months later.

I don't regret the divorce. It was for the best. We were just two very different people. It is possible to have two good people come together, but still end up with a toxic result. She isn't a bad person and neither was I. We just had too many differences to overcome. It needed to end. You can only spend so many years trying to be polite to one another before you realize you are just wasting valuable years of your life.

It is possible to love someone, but know that you are not right for each other. That is probably the hardest part.
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25 / F / Georgia
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Posted 6/10/13
I'd only give up on the marriage if I feel the relationship can't improve after trying to help it stay together.

If you're trying to make it work for your marriage, you can talk to your partner about whether or not if they want to make the relationship work or try marriage counseling. Hope it works out for you.
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26 / M / Eagan, MN
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Posted 6/10/13
If your thinking about it seriously, then you probably already know the answer.
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Posted 6/10/13
Never gonna give you up, or let you down.
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21 / F / Scotland
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Posted 6/10/13
Well I have no experience in terms of being married lol but I believe breaking up can be the right thing to do in quite a few cases. No point in staying together if both of you aren't happy I say. and also... never stay together just because you have kids! They can tell when you think your life sucks and it will not help them in the future. If there are troubles with the marriage yet you think there's a chance between the both of you then it's up to you on whether you think it would be worth it. I do think there are limits on how much you should try though, depending on the other person's attitude towards the relationship. If they aren't willing to give it a shot then they aren't worth it.
Posted 6/10/13 , edited 6/10/13
depends on the situation
and oh yep i don't wont marry
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28 / M
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Posted 6/10/13

Nyuboom wrote:

Nowadays you just shouldn't get married so quickly. Stress is what could break a marriage, you need a steady income and basically making anything last forever is a joke.


Working-class people making families does seem like a joke sometimes but apparently we're all having enough fun that we decide it's worth repeating for another generation. WHY DO WE KEEP DECIDING THIS.


Nyuboom wrote:

If you love someone obviously you would try and make it work so why even ask that question?


This.


haikinka wrote:

Never gonna give you up, or let you down.





Would you ever give up?


No.
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Posted 6/10/13
I've never been married, so I can't really know for sure. Ideally, I'd like to say no. However, people change over time (some for the better, some for the worse). There may come a day when we outgrow one another rather than grow with each other. It's my hope that that would never happen, but only time will tell.
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32 / M / So Cal
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Posted 6/10/13
Whenever I feel like giving up, I watch this:

http://youtu.be/EagRjSZAXDc
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M / Universe :0
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Posted 7/2/13
I'm not married, but is imagine it'd be hard. Like emotionally
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