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Post Reply How do you deal with a patronizing ass?
kvi 
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28 / M / Planet Mars
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Posted 6/16/13
if you feel like bringing up the problem directly with your superior is a problem, usually companies have an equal opportunity or similar type of program where you can file a complaint. If the person is a halfway decent human being, you might want to at least discuss the problem with him/her before going that route though.
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102 / M / Northeast
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Posted 6/16/13

onibrotonel wrote:

patronize |ˈpātrəˌnīz; ˈpa-|
verb
1 [often as adj. ] ( patronizing) treat with an apparent kindness that betrays a feeling of superiority : “She's a good-hearted girl,” he said in a patronizing voice | she was determined not to be put down or patronized.



It happens at work, home, public, etc.
How do you handle it with that person, especially if it's your superior?




Be confident in who you are as a person, your skills on the job, and do the best you can do. What anyone else thinks is never as important as how you feel about yourself.
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16 / M / .....check your b...
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Posted 6/16/13
use magic
Posted 6/16/13
There is always going to be that ONE person that you don't get along with no matter where you go. Just don't take it to heart.
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24 / M / California
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Posted 6/16/13 , edited 6/16/13
Well, as long as the person treats me well and doesn't say anything to upset or goad me into doing something, I couldn't care less what they actually think of me.

Fortunately, I've only had one boss who I really disliked. This person was the owner/manager of a boba cafe. Since this place was near school, she was used to having a high turnover rate, as most workers were students. She would use old creamer for her drinks, underpay her staff under the table, and generally just be a really unlikable boss who liked to be nasty toward her employees. She would not hesitate to yell at a worker for messing up, even in the presence of several customers. My friend introduced me since I felt that I needed some work (beats sitting around doing nothing). After 3 days of rushed training, I started disliking her. She would keep telling me to hurry up when I was carrying these huge 5-gallon tubs of boiling hot tea over wet tile floors. I was like wtf, do you not SEE what I'm carrying and the potential hazards of rushing? She complained about the speed at which I did my work despite the fact that I never once fell behind on orders. Geez, how fast do you want me to be? On top of that, she didn't pay for overtime when we had to stay to clean and close shop.

I requested one weekend off (I always only worked saturdays and sundays) on my 2nd or 3rd week working for her. I told her I had to study for finals so I wouldn't be able to work that weekend and she was very agreeable about finding someone to cover my shift, taking note of my request on the calendar. The following friday, she requested that everyone give her their class schedules so she could arrange shifts. I took my schedule to her in my free time. As soon as she saw me go into the cafe, she just started YELLING at me. She said something like "you've barely begun here, don't think you can have that sort of slack, if you don't show up again I am going to just send you home!"

I was more surprised than angry at first and tried to remind her that I DID inform her that I wouldn't be in and that she AGREED to find a replacement for that weekend, but she would have none of it and insisted I was lying. The cafe at the time was 2/3rd filled with customers who, at that point, had stopped eating to see why she was being so loud. I got really angry but I said nothing but "okay, okay." She snatched my schedule from my hand and I walked back out the door slowly.

I never went back or told her I quit. I hope she had to scramble her fat a** to find a replacement for me the following two days.
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26 / F / Southern Oregon
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Posted 6/16/13
It depends on the person but usually I just give them "the look" if I need to I will say something to make it clear that it's not ok to talk to me that way.
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17 / F / Night Vale
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Posted 6/16/13
My Mom patronizes me all the time. Which can also translate to guilt tripping. I usually end up feeling pretty worthless, and that I've disappointed her. But usually I do it back, to be a smart ass. I love my Mom to death, but we sometimes have this discreet, fake smile war.
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19 / F / In relative locat...
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Posted 6/16/13
Realise that their opinions mean nothing to you. And if for some reason they do, stop giving them value immediately. Side step the BS with a smile on your face all the while. You dont need something meaningless to escalate.
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20 / M
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Posted 6/16/13
As an artist. I search for criticism to help myself improve.
When people say my artwork is "very good".I very much appreciate it. But there are also some types that know the depth of good compositions and poor compositions.People Like artist themselves.Some of them stay with:it's very good.Knowing there could be much to improve upon and the advice would help. I even ask for opinion out blatantly.

Personally As a person. I don't care what people merit me to be.
I don't care if people think I'm a bad person.
I don't care if people see me as a good person.
As long as you know who you are thoroughly. It shouldn't matter

Though I search for attention and acceptance as an artist. It's only attention that helps me gauge my improvement
So patronizing is irrelevant to my attention.I easily move to the next person

So it's my It's my job to fill in the spots where no one else will when being criticized.The term you are your own worst critic is a very close phrase for that concept.


Posted 8/23/13 , edited 8/23/13
If I'm pretty confident that they're an ass, and that I'm not wrong, I'll probably consider what they're telling me for a second, inquire about it, and if I don't think it makes sense, I'll laugh at it before ending the conversation. Sometimes, though, I do the opposite of that, which I would most certainly not advise. -_-
Bavalt 
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25 / M / Canada
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Posted 8/23/13
I usually only ever notice after the fact, unless they word it in an obvious sort of way. Obliviousness can be a benefit at times. Usually what happens is that someone next to me will talk about it once the patronizing person leaves: "Wow, how rude." And then I'll be like "...Oh, yeah, they were talking down at me... Hrm."

And then I'll shrug it off and let it slide.

After it's been called to my attention like that, I find that it usually continues for a bit, but I feign obliviousness anyway. After a while, they'll stop, having either: A) realized they won't get a reaction out of me and their troll attempt has failed; or mistakenly assumed that they've established their spot as my superior in the social hierarchy that I can't be bothered to participate in in the first place.
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USA
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Posted 8/23/13
I often ignore people like that.
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31 / M / So Cal
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Posted 8/23/13

onibrotonel wrote:

“She's a good-hearted girl,”



"You are SO observant. Look at you!"

Fire with fire.
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25 / F / Online
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Posted 8/23/13
Ignore them, pretend they don't exist, best way to make someone who thinks they are superior to you realize "oh shit... I am actually a no one."
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Posted 8/23/13
Overcome their patronizing ways with the power of smilessssssssssssssss
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