Post Reply Respect, find out what it means to me
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Posted 6/24/13
"You want respect? You have to earn it first"

I’ve heard this phrase a lot, but I never really understood the true meaning behind it.
Sounds like: prove you are not a terrible person, and then I will treat you nicely

What do you think of people who won't give others respect just by virtue of being human and alive? I commonly see this in elderly/older people excusing unwarranted behavior. They make it seem like you don't become respectable until you have been alive as long as them, so it's like you get respect for aging rather than earning it. Isn’t being respected something that’s inherited in everyone unless proven otherwise?
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22 / M / Ontario
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Posted 6/24/13
Personally, I treat everybody with respect until they prove to me that they are a terrible person, and even then I'm still fairly likely to treat that person with a tiny bit of respect (more just as a way of being polite in public though).

However, if someone openly treats me like shit I will treat them just as badly.

So I guess I gotta say that people should be respected at first just by virtue of them being human. Innocent until proven guilty
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21 / M
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Posted 6/24/13
You shouldn't need to earn respect.

I will respect someone more or less. But I still give them "general respect".


That said. You only gain more respect from me out of admirable or inspirational terms. I won't respect you less or more if you are without those imposing features.

I am without care for statistic or sexist prejudice.I decide if I like the person you are solely myself. But it's not like if I end up not liking you I will give you less respect. Even if it's a person who doesn't give me their respect.I'll treat anyone the same no matter who or what they are.

I dislike to use "earning respect" as a wall to giving a person respect.
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18 / M / Pennsylvania
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Posted 6/24/13 , edited 6/24/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

"You want respect? You have to earn it first"

I’ve heard this phrase a lot, but I never really understood the true meaning behind it.
Sounds like: prove you are not a terrible person, and then I will treat you nicely

What do you think of people who won't give others respect just by virtue of being human and alive? I commonly see this in elderly/older people excusing unwarranted behavior. They make it seem like you don't become respectable until you have been alive as long as them, so it's like you get respect for aging rather than earning it. Isn’t being respected something that’s inherited in everyone unless proven otherwise?

i think that those people may think of everyone else as inferior unless proven otherwise which i don't believe is right. respect should be inherited like you said; at least i think so.. thats the way i do it
I dislike that quote, a lot :/
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25 / M / Norway
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Posted 6/24/13
I believe in what you own yourself you might give others. In other words. If you can respect yourself you can respect others. Such things can be with many things. Have to believe in yourself first to give trust in someone else. Same with love. Well that's how I see it. I think it's clever enough. Talked to lots of people about this. Both young and old people.
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24 / M / UofL; Louisville, KY
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Posted 6/24/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

"You want respect? You have to earn it first"

I’ve heard this phrase a lot, but I never really understood the true meaning behind it.
Sounds like: prove you are not a terrible person, and then I will treat you nicely

What do you think of people who won't give others respect just by virtue of being human and alive? I commonly see this in elderly/older people excusing unwarranted behavior. They make it seem like you don't become respectable until you have been alive as long as them, so it's like you get respect for aging rather than earning it. Isn’t being respected something that’s inherited in everyone unless proven otherwise?


The phrase means you give respect and you should receive it. If you do not receive the same level of respect, you stop respecting them. It boils down to treat people how you expect them to treat you. When they don't treat you how you treat them, you change how you treat them.
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24 / M / your mind
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Posted 6/24/13
Respect should not just be inherently given, because most are undeserving of it
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29 / M / Los Angeles, CA
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Posted 6/24/13
Being respectful is a lifestyle.
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100
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Posted 6/24/13
I give respect to everyone, even if they treat me like trash. Why? So that when they break-down, I'll be there like HAHAHA YOU DESERVED IT BISH
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99 / F / Your boundaries
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Posted 6/24/13 , edited 6/24/13
I think you are confusing respect with common courtesy.

To respect someone is to hold them in high esteem, to honor them. Being human doesn't automatically entitle you to that. I think people who demand respect are just entitled losers who are incapable of earning it for themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I do my best to be nice to everyone. That's just common courtesy though. I treat people the way I want to be treated. But I don't give out respect so easily, just as I never demand it from anyone.
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F / West
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Posted 6/24/13
RESPECT MEANS THIS TONIGHT!
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18 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 6/24/13

demongurrl13 wrote:

I think you are confusing respect with common courtesy.

To respect someone is to hold them in high esteem, to honor them. Being human doesn't automatically entitle you to that. I think people who demand respect are just entitled losers who are incapable of earning it for themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I do my best to be nice to everyone. That's just common courtesy though. I treat people the way I want to be treated. But I don't give out respect so easily, just as I never demand it from anyone.


^ This.
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22 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 6/24/13
In my mind, respect is a high level of admiration, which may overlap with fear and love. Otherwise, like Demongurrl13 astutely pointed out, I believe that so-called "respect" is actually courtesy. Granted, there are some people who should be treated in a unusually courteous manner and/or are best not to anger, but I wouldn't say that the mannerisms directed towards them necessarily correlates with respect.


You want respect? You have to earn it first.


From what I've noticed, those words usually signify that the targets spoken to are in a position of low esteem and trust, and the speaker is pointing it out. Also, the phrase generally hints that while the speaker is open to changing his/her negative view of the person(s) in question, he/she refuses to alter it without plausible cause; however, there are people who throw around these words for purely egotistical reasons that have little or nothing to do with someone gaining another person's trust.
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Posted 6/25/13 , edited 6/25/13
Respect isn't (for me at least) the type of thing that you "either have or don't." I respect certain people for certain things, and other people for other things. I can, for instance, respect a friend for his capacity for thought, but have no respect for his capacity for keeping a clean house. So yes, unless you have no value whatsoever on respect, it should be justified.

I respect all humans on the basis that they have the capacity for rational thought, but I don't respect them for their ability to use it, because that is something that's up to them. I don't have any data to suggest that people will think things through, so I can't respect someone for something they don't have. Certain people show me that they are reliable "thinkers" in which case they've gained my respect as "thinkers." I think of everyone as more or less capable of intelligence, but I always assume that they also have the ability to ignore that capacity. So, while I don't treat everyone as dumb, I still try to explain things as thoroughly as I can (or want) because they may not always have their full concentration on what I'm saying.
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19 / M
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Posted 6/25/13
I think the quote best states it. If you want respect, you should do something which would earn you such. With that, I also believe it shouldn't be give too much thought. Respect means a lot of different things for many people so you should just go with what you respect. For if you don't respect yourself, then how can one gain the respect of anyone else.

Good luck in your endeavor to find an answer to your question though. Though, it would be safe to also remember another quote. "Everyone is different." You will both gain and lose respect for a single action. Don't try to please everyone, but instead please the only person it will truly affect: Yourself.
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