First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  Next  Last
Post Reply Ever feel like an outsider in your own family?
16049 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F / New York
Offline
Posted 6/25/13
I've always known I was different from everyone in my family (The only child with naturally tanned skin because she's half black). But after my grandpa died (when I was 9) and my grandma died (I was 18), I've been feeling more and more like an outsider in my own home, and family. I really don't know what to do anymore. My mother is psychotic, and every "outsider" acts like they know what's going on, and like they know my entire life story. I find myself always wanting to ram my mother's head through a wall, but I could never do that, because she's my mom. I find myself getting angrier everyday, because my mother purposefully reminds me how "unimportant" a member of my family I am, and purposefully disappoints me EVERY chance she can possibly get. I have people I can talk to, both professional & personal, but now it's not getting to be enough. I'm sadder everyday that I'm angrier. Idk what I can do. The only thing to look forward to is that I'm transferring to a University in upstate New York, which is 7 hours away from Long Island (where I live), is where I can get the rest of my sanity back.
8728 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
16 / F / USA
Offline
Posted 6/25/13
yes...plenty of times. I just prefer to be alone. When they do invite me over to talk they usually just insult me (such as "why are you always in your room". "do you ever socialize" why this? or that? I find this super annoying . However i do talk to my sister and brother about how is school? or hows it going? that kind of stuff
1214 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M
Offline
Posted 6/25/13
Yep, always.
14052 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / California, USA
Offline
Posted 6/25/13

yes...plenty of times. I just prefer to be alone. When they do invite me over to talk they usually just insult me (such as "why are you always in your room". "do you ever socialize" why this? or that? I find this super annoying . However i do talk to my sister and brother about how is school? or hows it going? that kind of stuff


I have a similar situation. I usually stay in my room most of my free time watching anime or gaming. I just like to stay out of trouble. Although it's only internally within my family. I'm aware I'm the most different person in my home, but I've accepted it long ago and now I'm pretty happy living and doing what makes me happy.
809 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
18 / M / Way outside the box
Offline
Posted 6/25/13
oh yea but we are all kinda of out of place so I just kinda chill in the background
Trahma 
26219 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
30 / M / New Jersey
Offline
Posted 6/25/13
It sounds like a pretty toxic environment for you at the moment, I'm sorry you have to put up with that. I very much agree with you that transferring to the university upstate could be a really great change, and I hope that you can endure the sadness a little while longer until you are able be away from your current situation. Please keep talking to those close supporters as you continue to look forward to transferring, keep focusing on yourself, and less on those family members that continually disappoint you. Separating yourself from the stressors in your life will do wonders. Just don't let yourself get sucked back into the mess at home after you are at the university, that would be my biggest concern. I wish you the best.
13494 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / M / SoCal
Offline
Posted 6/25/13
Each member of my family is very different from each other, so I cant really say that I am an outsider. We all do very different things and act in very different ways but we still get along and we are all chill with one another.
9696 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 6/25/13
I was born in a poor family, so every time we have family gatherings with my relatives, it's noticeable whose the outsider(s).
In my case, between cousins, I don't bond that well. It's always something I need to show: a new cellphone, clothes, cars.
I'm like, whatever. All of them, put together, can't beat me in basketball.


Basketball is my only niche. I get respected when I play well. If not, I got the opposite.
I might look different but I can play.

I just have to work on my stamina.
I'm like in god mode when playing the first minutes, then goes in drastic slump. hahaha
Posted 6/25/13

Trahma wrote:

It sounds like a pretty toxic environment for you at the moment, I'm sorry you have to put up with that. I very much agree with you that transferring to the university upstate could be a really great change, and I hope that you can endure the sadness a little while longer until you are able be away from your current situation. Please keep talking to those close supporters as you continue to look forward to transferring, keep focusing on yourself, and less on those family members that continually disappoint you. Separating yourself from the stressors in your life will do wonders. Just don't let yourself get sucked back into the mess at home after you are at the university, that would be my biggest concern. I wish you the best.


^ couldn't have said it better.

Go out there into the world and find your happiness!
33966 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M / The Surface
Offline
Posted 6/25/13
i'm not a damn book.
17279 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 6/25/13
I felt like an outsider ever since middle school but it's by choice. Besides borrowing money from my family when I was in school, I'm usually on my own and deal with things alone. But I know for sure my parents and sis will be there when I need them. I'm guess you can say I'm lucky or spoiled.
194 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
16 / M / Lavender Town
Offline
Posted 6/27/13
Yea, everyone in my family all have a loud personality and they enjoy going out and having fun. My personality is more quiet, so I stay in my room alone more and whenever we have a little get to-gather I just sit down and stay quiet most of the time. Sometimes I even hear my sister and brother-in-law talk about me and call me "emo" just because I'm quiet...... and I'm not even emo!!!! When I'm with friends I have a completely different personality!!
558 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
53 / M / Between the devil...
Offline
Posted 6/27/13 , edited 6/27/13
All the time. I have pretty much always been a loner, except when I was married, and I didn't feel alone anymore. She and I were a perfect match for each other. But now that she's gone, I'm feeling more alone than ever, even in a house full of people (I'm currently living with my brother, his fiance, and his two sons). It's like I'm not even here most of the time, so I just stay in my room watching TV, reading every now and then (something I used to love to do all the time), and mess around here on the ole cyberspace cruiser. I really don't know which is worse: being alone, or being alone in a crowd. I guess that's why I love Flowers of Evil. I can kind of identify with Nakamura, except for the lousy attitude. I have a way of smiling and laughing all the time, but I don't feel it in the least.
35281 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / Norway
Offline
Posted 6/27/13
Yeah lots of times I feel like an outsider of the family. Pretty much an outsider of the world. Stuff like that comes and goes though. Life is not for beginners you know. :/
17457 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M / Pinellas Park, FL
Offline
Posted 6/27/13

x13kissmegoodbye wrote:

I've always known I was different from everyone in my family (The only child with naturally tanned skin because she's half black). But after my grandpa died (when I was 9) and my grandma died (I was 18), I've been feeling more and more like an outsider in my own home, and family. I really don't know what to do anymore. My mother is psychotic, and every "outsider" acts like they know what's going on, and like they know my entire life story. I find myself always wanting to ram my mother's head through a wall, but I could never do that, because she's my mom. I find myself getting angrier everyday, because my mother purposefully reminds me how "unimportant" a member of my family I am, and purposefully disappoints me EVERY chance she can possibly get. I have people I can talk to, both professional & personal, but now it's not getting to be enough. I'm sadder everyday that I'm angrier. Idk what I can do. The only thing to look forward to is that I'm transferring to a University in upstate New York, which is 7 hours away from Long Island (where I live), is where I can get the rest of my sanity back.


Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Anything with my extended family is a yes.

We're an immigrant family and I'm educated. Sometimes rational thinking conflicts with the way they were brought up to understand things and it creates rifts. That's about as disconnected as it gets unless someone really knocks something out at left field.

I feel you though. I lived in Jamaica, Queens during most of my teen years and broken families around there are a dime a dozen. Domestic violence galore. Don't go that route. Get out and fast.

If you're going North I just hope you like the cold. I lived in Rochester and damn did that take getting used to. Now I can walk in shorts and t-shirts when it's 40 degrees out. I'm Caribbean, so that's impressive.
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.