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Post Reply Ever feel like an outsider in your own family?
Posted 7/9/13
nope only on the rich side of my family ( its always boring there ) im a lovable person who can hate me when i love everything
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34 / M
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Posted 7/9/13
I've never fit in anywhere, including my own family. I have learned how to adapt to the point where most people don't realize how odd I am compared to what they would expect, but it is tiring and wearing masks like that is not always pleasant. I have been fortunate enough to find someone who, while she doesn't always "get me", accepts me. I am also fortunate in that my daughter, while a bit off the beaten path, is far more normal than I am. Being different isn't all bad, but the way I am different makes it very difficult for others to relate to me and for me to relate to them. So I am glad my daughter won't have to try to cope with that as much as I did.

All I can offer to the original poster is this advice: you may have to be family with them, but you don't have to like them and how much time you spend with them is up to you. Find the people you can connect with and involve them in your life. Those connections will help you make it through.
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25 / M / California
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Posted 7/9/13 , edited 7/9/13
In my immediate family, I always feel like a stranger. Nobody communicates, their beliefs differ from my own, and they constantly try to make me believe and feel as they do. I'm also a natural introvert and they keep trying to flip me inside-out. It doesn't work that way. If anything, I withdrew over the years and the walls are just thickening, the gaps widening.

My cousins understand me way more than my immediate family. In a one-month trip to visit my hometown, despite a sort of language barrier, I opened up to them more than I ever opened up to my immediate family, and even started dating one of my cousins (she's related through marriage, not blood). They are closer to my age but still a few years older than me but, still, they understand me way more.
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Posted 8/23/13
Yeah, but I majoirty of my family dosnt even consider me family because Im adopted and half black :p Shit happens. Im just the freak in the family who is obsessed with " chinese music and cartoons"
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24 / F / On a boat!
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Posted 8/23/13
Ugh yes...
mostly because of my interest in certain things (music, books, people, things, etc).
Also my family thinks I'm a satanist or evil due to most of the things I like...

But I don't care, I find them equally weird, and still love them ...well some of them X)
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23 / M
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Posted 8/23/13 , edited 8/23/13
Dude, I'm adopted.

Not only adopted, but adopted at a late age.

Not only adopted at a late age, but adopted into a white family as a black male.


Outsider?

I don't even feel like a have a family.
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USA
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Posted 8/24/13
Yes, because I'm the only one that prefers to be alone most of the time.
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UK
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Posted 8/24/13
I lost both my parents at a young age so I can only say that I have only experienced being in an foster family...
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22 / F / london
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Posted 9/4/13 , edited 9/4/13
i think you will find that there is a lot of people like you out there but never the same situation as you...

like me for example: im mixed race (black and white)my mother was both and alcoholic and drug addict and my father well he was just to busy with his other family to even notice me i think my mother enjoyed hurting me both mentally and physically she must have liked how my body felt under her fists and the cry of my voice screaming for her to stop. but yet she never did this to my brothers and sisters ...
she was white and her family are racist so i was not liked by them and never met my fathers family.. my brothers and sisters would get things and i didn't but it wasn't everyday just for the most part it was bad and Christmas's are ok tho it would be the only day she would not drink and i would get just as much present as everyone else when i was 14 i ran away from home she never even call for help to even see if i was OK i didn't go back till i was nearly 16 and then that year she died i even cry for her my father died the year before her i didn even remember to go to his funeral... but i still felt bad for him .... anyway you just have to look past it im 21 now i have my oun place and still i am happy just dont let them get into your mind and you will be alright promise xx good luck xx
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28 / M
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Posted 9/4/13
Yep been that way all my life, thankfully i am on my own now and i have nothing to do with them anymore.
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18 / M / That place wot 'a...
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Posted 9/4/13
In the family I live with I dont, but when we do the big get together i.e. cousins, aunties, uncles etc. then I do. Everyone gets along and starts making conversation but when you've hardly ever seen them and then add a gap of about 3 years since you last met it feels awkward like trying to make friendly conversation with a stranger.
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15 / F / the human world
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Posted 9/4/13
Yeah I actually do. I have 6 other siblings and even though I have a lot of siblings it doesn't mean we hang out, they make fun of the fact I like to read manga and watch anime, apparently its not cool or mature. Also sometimes (okay all the time) i feel like they don't understand me so I spend the majority of my time by myself which is hard to do with a big family. It's awkward when I talk to my mom and my dad doesn't really talk to me and I don't have good social skills so yeah I feel like an outsider in my family
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26 / M / wherever my work...
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Posted 9/4/13
I don't think it, I know I am. The reality especially comes every Christmas. Everyone gets nice gifts. I get a $20 gift card to Walmart and a card.
LUGUND 
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19 / M
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Posted 9/4/13
Nothing makes you feel more like an outsider when you're like me and you don't know your dad's main language.
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16 / F / Ness' Magicant
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Posted 9/4/13
I do sometimes. It's only me and my brother who like to watch anime out of the many people in my family. Sometimes I isolate myself whenever we have a get together with some family members because I feel left out from whatever they are doing which doesn't really interest me.
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