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Ever feel like an outsider in your own family?
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24 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 9/8/13
I wouldn't say so much as an "outsider" just someone stuck in one place while everyone slowly moves forward.
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37 / colorful colorado
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Posted 9/8/13
Oh, yeah. I'm a cheeseburger in a family of steaks.
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15 / F / イブキド
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Posted 9/13/13
24/7. I almost never feel like im in the family, because non of them do the same things as me. Except my brother, who is currently in college.
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24 / F / Far away from Japan
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Posted 9/13/13
Totally.
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28 / M
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Posted 9/13/13

Crazy_Monster wrote:

yes...plenty of times. I just prefer to be alone. When they do invite me over to talk they usually just insult me (such as "why are you always in your room". "do you ever socialize" why this? or that? I find this super annoying . However i do talk to my sister and brother about how is school? or hows it going? that kind of stuff


that isn't an insult .... questions are never insults
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28 / M
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Posted 9/13/13

x13kissmegoodbye wrote:

I've always known I was different from everyone in my family (The only child with naturally tanned skin because she's half black). But after my grandpa died (when I was 9) and my grandma died (I was 18), I've been feeling more and more like an outsider in my own home, and family. I really don't know what to do anymore. My mother is psychotic, and every "outsider" acts like they know what's going on, and like they know my entire life story. I find myself always wanting to ram my mother's head through a wall, but I could never do that, because she's my mom. I find myself getting angrier everyday, because my mother purposefully reminds me how "unimportant" a member of my family I am, and purposefully disappoints me EVERY chance she can possibly get. I have people I can talk to, both professional & personal, but now it's not getting to be enough. I'm sadder everyday that I'm angrier. Idk what I can do. The only thing to look forward to is that I'm transferring to a University in upstate New York, which is 7 hours away from Long Island (where I live), is where I can get the rest of my sanity back.



dear child op,

you aren't different in any way other than time dilation .... remember that.
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21 / Dreamscape
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Posted 9/13/13
My situation is more of an age barrier than anything else. Most of my relatives are at least in their mid twenties or thirties, and my aunts/uncles are all late 40s to mid 50s ish. I'm the youngest in my extended family and I just feel so alone sometimes.
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16 / M / Lone Moon Blogger
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Posted 9/14/13
Mainly by the older people in my family not really by my cousins or brother though
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22 / F / Earth. Las Vegas,...
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Posted 10/3/13 , edited 10/3/13
All the time. I'm invisible to everyone when I'm around a lot of family members. I am basically also the black sheep of the family.
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22 / F / New York
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Posted 10/3/13

Morbidhanson wrote:

Yes. I am the black sheep. Me and my lesbian cousin lol

My family drives me absolutely insane, too. That's why I never want to start one. Aside from my daily share of annoyances, we are just way too different. And the difference becomes more pronounced with time.



























Stuff like that. Daily. Many times. I am sick of it.


OMG!!! I go through that sh*t on the daily too, when I'm at home!!!!!!!!!!
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22 / F / New York
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Posted 10/3/13

Mycow8me wrote:

The only thing that remotely makes me feel like an outsider is my beliefs. My whole family even beyond the household are strongly Christian. I'm agnostic meaning I don't really accept or refuse any particular religion (uncertain). So it gets kinda strange sometimes.


I'm agnostic too. When I told my mother, because she's an idiot, she didn't realize that calling me an atheist was retarded. I had to explain to her that in order for her to better her relationship with me, and to move through the general world, she's going to actually have to do some research on topics that she doesn't understand, instead of doing what seems to be the "norm" these days, and just blatantly assume the wrong thing because of lack of knowledge. I, her daughter, and her fiance had to sit her down and explain that she cannot do things like that. We had to explain to her, like a child, what the difference between agnosticism and atheism was. O____O
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19 / M / Illinois
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Posted 10/3/13
i don't know what it's like to experience all this that you all are experiencing.. l:
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M / ???????? ?? ?????
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Posted 10/3/13
And that's why I pretty much disowned my family years ago.
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22 / F / New York
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Posted 10/3/13 , edited 10/3/13
I actually am doing a lot better, since I moved up here for school. I barely talk to my mom, and the woman that lives with us that really DOES NOT belong in any way in the picture (I won't even get into that).

Btw, totally forgot who said, something along the lines of I'm "...no different from the rest..." I'm completely aware that I am no different from everyone, in the physical setting. I'm as much human as everyone else on the planet. However, that was not the point of the thread. Physically, we as people, are no different from the rest. Mentally and emotionally, we are all extremely different, and there's no generalizing that fact, or lumping it into a general category, like the DSM V now aims to do (which is completely unnecessary, considering the DSM IV was pretty much on the right track). Really what I'm trying to get at (with really no intention of starting an argument, because I have no patience for that crap), is that, I am different from the rest. We're all different. We handle things differently. I'd much rather share my feelings with strangers on the internet, than share them physically talking with someone else. Why? Because I feel like, for some reason, the anonymity the internet gives us, helps us speak out against what we don't like, or, just bring us a lot closer than when we are in person.

On that note, I can't honestly say that things have gotten better since I moved. Whenever things seem to be going in the right direction, something happens that pushes all that progress back. Two steps forward, 4 steps back. It makes me happy to feel connected to so many people though, because I know that I'm not alone at least. University at Buffalo will be my mainstay for about 9-10 months out the year for next 5 years or so, so I'm happy. For me, it's kind of like a long vacation away from a very toxic environment.

I can definitely relate to a lot of you with the fact that since I technically moved out, things have gotten better, little by little, and I really only ever want to talk to my mother, when I'm in need of something that I can make use of, that I may have left back at home. I spoke with her today, to thank her for sending me a scientific calculator that I didn't realize I'd need, and because I bought it for her, with my own money (back when she was taking college physics, on some whim, that she never ended up completing as usual), but, really, that was it. She sent me $50, which means a lot to me, because it helped me out a lot, but I really didn't want to talk to her about anything else. If I'm facetiming anyone in that house, it's really just my little sister and my little brother, and that's it. I'm noticing that now that I'm not physically there anymore, and I'm not my mom's punching bag anymore, she's trying to make up for it, but it's kinda too late for that. Her and I did get into an argument while I've been living up here, and while we "having this argument," I ignored her, didn't answer her texts, never called, basically acted like she didn't exist, because I was basically telling her that I'm not putting up with her bullsh*t. I think that put things in perspective for her. If I'm not physically there for you to acknowledge your presence to, then why the fuck do I care if you're there or not. I called her during that week to wish her a happy birthday, and to apologize, but I reminded her in the voicemail that I was calling to mainly wish her a "happy birthday," not to apologize for having the right to be angry. I didn't word it like that (I was still civil and nice), but at moments like these, I think it hits my mom, that while yes, I need her for the basics of food, shelter, sometimes transportation, sometimes money (although I RARELY ask her for money, because I always have to pay her back, but when I loan her money, 1) I never ever get it back & 2) I never ask, nor hound for her to pay me back), and she pays the cell phone bill (which I'm fortunate to be allowed the opportunity to contribute to whenever I can, although I pay for my upgrades, always); I don't need her for anything else.

Now that about 87% of that is covered by me, because I applied to the university with no help, I filled out my financial aid with no help, I did 99.9% everything I needed to do for the university without any of her help (except driving upstate), she's starting to realize that she's just there. For the record: I've been on my own emotionally since I started college at 18, and that's being generous, because I've technically been raising myself since I was 16.

It's unfortunate, because she gave birth to me, but, I agree with a lot of guys on this too: in virtually no way, am I obligated to like her. At this point in my life, she's just there, and that's it. I really have no attachment to about 96% of the people in my family. They're just there, taking up space in my life, I guess.
Posted 10/3/13
I'm confused about life, and I am not all that social nor "friendly," yet I'm apparently too kind when it's time to be kind. So, no. I just feel like myself-- not excluded.
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