First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
Post Reply Where do u draw the line?
15158 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F / Texas, USA
Offline
Posted 6/28/13
Treat others how you would want to be treated. I, personally, don't have a problem if my boyfriend goes and hangs out with a female friend but he can't be up my ass for me going to to hang out with a male friend.
15158 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F / Texas, USA
Offline
Posted 6/28/13

Dayummy wrote:


IGotThisFirst wrote:

I draw the line when somebody can't be trusted. They can do whatever the hell they want to do, but the moment I find out they're lying to me about things they shouldn't be, they've crossed the line. I'm not going to sit here and control people's lives, especially not ones that I care about. But I won't sit here and put myself through lies and deceit for them, either.


YUHHP RIGHT HERE REAL TALK ALL YOU NEED THIS GUY RIGHT HERE

I third this motion! If a lie is told everything one know about the relationships is flipped turned upside down. How many lies have you told me? How many times have you decieved me? Why are you lying and decieving???
66790 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / ???????? ?? ?????
Offline
Posted 6/28/13

KhmerKittyKat wrote:

Situations: Your parent's bf/gf has pictures of your gf/bf and their ex together all over the house.....Your bf/gf has a tattoo for their ex......Your bf/gf still hangs out with their ex.....basically where would YOU draw the line? And why is it okay to have a problem with it or not?



Something tells me that if said significant other was on that side, I bet they'd not be ok with it at all. Though many don't take such a thoughtful approach in relationships.

But also on the flip side of it, have you spoken to them about these things? Communication is the biggest part of a relationship. However if they continue to do these things even after talking about it, then I'd side with what everyone else is saying and just dump 'em. Walk away before you get hurt more.
7038 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / Texas
Offline
Posted 6/28/13
If you ask your partner to deny their past then you are asking them to change who they are. As long as they are not parading their ex around you, it's best to get over any jealousy you might be feeling. It is possible to be friends with your ex. I know because my ex wife and I are better friends than we ever were spouses. She and I still talk and occasionally visit.

If I am with someone, I don't talk about my ex unless they ask and even then, I keep that chatter to a minimum. I am not hiding anything. I just don't feel it matters anymore. Plus, anything that happened between my ex and I should stay between us. I would hope a new girlfriend would respect that. What matters is who I am with here and now, not years ago. If there is ever a situation where my current would meet my ex, then I will let them know who they are. Not all relationships end bitterly. Yes, my ex and I were upset over the divorce, but we both knew it was for the best. I still care a great deal for her, but I am no longer in love with her. I would hope my current would realize that because I am with them now and not my ex.

As far as trust, you have to start somewhere. Being in a relationship requires a leap of faith. A person shouldn't have to prove their trustworthy to you by doing something or acting a certain way at the start of a relationship because you ask them. That to me is manipulation. If that person ends up lying to you about something, then you have reason for concern. If they continue to lie (about big things), it's best to just walk away. You cannot expect people to exile others just because they are with you.

I've never once in my life asked any of my GF's to stop talking to their friends or their families. I have been in a relationship where she asked me to stop talking to certain friends I'd had for years. I told her I would not as they were good people whom I trusted. She said she would leave me if I didn't...and that is where I drew the line. If she could not accept me for who I was, then there was no point in wasting anymore time with her. You cannot go into a relationship and ask people to change. They are who they are and if you cannot accept that, move on.

If an ex of your current bf/gf is still in the picture as a friend, accept that. You have to trust your bf/gf if the relationship is going to work. Don't pull that "I trust you, I just don't trust them" crap either. That's a massive cop out and an excuse for trying to control someone. By saying such a thing, you are basically tell your current that you don't trust them enough to walk away from a situation that could get complicated (e.g. their ex trying to get in their pants). If you truly trust them then you will know they'd never let themselves get into such a situation. They'd walk away before things go out of hand.

As far as tattoos, people make mistakes. If you get a tattoo of a name, make it the name of your parents or your children because they will never change no matter what. If you end up with someone that has the name of an ex tattooed on them, get over it. It's not as if they can just wash it off. Don't insist that they get it removed. Let them do that on their own. Do not develop reasons for them to resent you later on.

Ok, I'm done.
15058 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / F
Offline
Posted 6/28/13
Has relationship problems




Logs onto crunchyroll.
1811 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Earth
Offline
Posted 6/28/13 , edited 6/28/13
I'd draw lines from all those situations, but I also suffer from super low self confidence and I'm a bit of a control freak at times so that's probably why.
6223 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
19 / M / No Stalking
Offline
Posted 6/28/13
If they still have pictures of their ex in their house then there's a problem. Being friend with your ex isn't a problem, as long as you and your ex make it clear that there's nothing more than friendship going on between you.
21429 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
57 / M
Offline
Posted 6/28/13 , edited 6/28/13
no;wuidcvn'pskadv, vm,vp[oaenoqwudbqojs bdcevlqejk
46225 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
18 / M / Tiphares
Offline
Posted 6/28/13
^ what he said.
Posted 6/28/13
What he said^
Moderator XIV
65086 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
33 / M / somewhere that is...
Offline
Posted 6/28/13 , edited 6/28/13
Personally I would just be really curious as to why my parent's bf/gf would have pictures of my bf/gf apparently having relations with their ex all over my house to begin with. Where did they get these pics? When where they taken? Why do they have them? Is my parent's bf/gf actually my bf/gf's ex which explains how they would have gotten the pics in the first place. But if so it sounds like me and my parent have some serious taste issues, just sayin.
24725 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Urban South
Offline
Posted 6/28/13

KhmerKittyKat wrote:

Situations: Your parent's bf/gf has pictures of your gf/bf and their ex together all over the house.....Your bf/gf has a tattoo for their ex......Your bf/gf still hangs out with their ex.....basically where would YOU draw the line? And whyi s it okay to have a problem with it or not?

Ok, I'm trying to imagine this situation.
my ex (A) --> me --> my parent --> my parent's significant other (B)--> B has pictures of A displayed in house
How the fuck does that happen? Either my parent's sig other is family with my ex, or they were dating/married to each other before, during, or after hooking up with me and my parent. Either way, it's time to move to another town.
41971 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / Sydney, Australia
Online
Posted 6/29/13 , edited 6/29/13

zendude wrote:



GayAsianBoy wrote:

I can't even tolerate it when someone has a picture of his ex in his house. One of the reason I couldn't date this guy I met 2 years ago. He still had this picture of his ex-boyfriend in his house.


People still put up pictures of people in their houses. I thought that's what albums stuffed in drawers and facebook are for. "LAWL"

Though semi-seriously, as much as I love the people around me, I just think that it's a bit tacky to have a picture frame up or pictures stickied to the wall. Well, that's just me and my take modern decor. "LAWL"


I couldn't agree more, I've never been a picture person and never will be. Don't like posters or pictures on my wall or counter.

Facebook is even more annoying, I don't know where the fad of posting food pictures came from, but my FB wall is filled with them, that's why I don't check it anymore.
13566 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
35 / New York
Offline
Posted 6/29/13
If they're attached to their ex, I discuss it with them, and then almost always dump them after suggesting they read Sigmund Freud.

It's never a good sign when they can't address it properly. It is an issue, period. It's not a non-issue, no matter what they say and you should never let them make light of it, because at best they're hiding how they feel subconsciously from themselves, and at worst -- they aren't.
Posted 6/29/13

KhmerKittyKat wrote:

Situations: Your parent's bf/gf has pictures of your gf/bf and their ex together all over the house.....Your bf/gf has a tattoo for their ex......Your bf/gf still hangs out with their ex.....basically where would YOU draw the line? And whyi s it okay to have a problem with it or not?


Interesting topic! Honestly if they still hung out with their ex that would be SUPER weird for me. I mean think about it, when people break up it is usually one person wasn't as into the relationship as the other person was. So if they hang out there are probably feelings left over with one person. But really it depends how long they had previously dated on how weirded out I would be by it lol. Overall I REALLY hate exes! (if that's how you spell that??)!!
First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.