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Post Reply Do you still have respect for someone who cheats in a relationship
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23 / F / In my bed!
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Posted 7/3/13
Give them an inch and they take the world!
My ex cheated on me, i forgave him because i really loved him and trusted him, (it was on my birthday btw), he didn't tell me himself, i had to find out. 6 months later he did it again and i haven't spoken to him since ^^
i will never forgive cheating ever again, im 21 and have had two boyfriends, both cheated on me.

No matter what, in my opinion it's not okay to cheat ><
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25 / M / Sydney, Australia
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Posted 7/3/13

-ADrunkenHusky wrote:

Do you still have respect for anyone that cheats in a relationship? If so why?




Yes. Because cheating does not mean someone is a bad person.


Everybody cheats, everybody lies and everybody is a hypocrite. It's about whether that person does it excessively or not. Cheating once or twice does not define a person's character.



Besides, I don't believe in the true love garbage that a lot of writers spout anyway. As much as I can appreciate this concept in fiction, I don't think it applies to real life.

Humans are not monogamous creatures in nature and never will be. Society conditioned us to think that we're monogamous.
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34 / M
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Posted 7/3/13

TroyParker wrote:


drakedogma wrote:

Some people who cheat are jerks, some people who cheat made a mistake, it's hard to really define someone based off one action.


How can you have respect for someone who WILLINGLY physically and emotionally betrays you? Especially if your supposedly in love in the relationship.

Pretty sure the original question or this response wasn't phrased in a way that limits it to reactions to personal examples of cheating. That aside the original question didn't give any qualifiers for the circumstances involved with the cheating. I think you are viewing this as far more black and white than it really is. Not that you can't view any given example as black and white individually, but the basic question is so devoid of context that drakedogma's response is a perfectly valid and rational viewpoint.

Generally speaking, cheating would generally lower my opinion of someone, however, the amount which it would do so could vary wildly by circumstance. I would lose an incredible amount of respect for someone who cheats because they gets off on manipulating others, where I would lose little to no respect for someone who cheats on an abusive partner seeking shelter elsewhere, with things like trying to find affection while in a troubled relationship falling somewhere in the middle.

As to someone who secretly counter-cheats AFTER supposedly giving the cheater a second chance I hold almost no respect for, possibly less than the original cheater depending on circumstance, as I don't like hypocrites much. Its one thing to go out and counter cheat out of rage before trying to reconcile (which I don't respect but is at least emotionally understandable) or telling them flat out "I am going to sleep with someone else so you can see how I feel" with all cards on the table, but doing it calculatingly and in secret after supposedly reconciling makes it just as much of a betrayal as the original instance of cheating.



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32 / M
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Posted 7/3/13
Lust doesn't have a memory
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27 / F / Southern Oregon
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Posted 7/3/13

norlins wrote:


eegah87 wrote:

If they where cheating on me I may regain respect for them after much time has passed and they have made serious efforts to change their character. But any romantic relationship between us would be over forever because I would never be able to completely trust them again.


At Least you don’t get hurt that way, too bad if he was the real deal
Seems like waste to me


If he was the real deal he wouldn't be cheating in the first place. I have high standards in my relationships but that is only because I have high standards for myself, and I don't see any reason to apologies for or to compromise them.

I don't mean to come of as an unforgiving heartless person it's just that my definition of love is really different then most peoples, and I don't give my heart over easily. So what I was really saying before is while they could regain my respect as a human being; I could never love them again because I would never be able to fully trust them after such an act of betrayal. I may be able to completely forgive them one day but it would take a long, long time and by them I (and probably them as well) will have most likely moved on and found someone better.
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22 / M / Toronto, Canada
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Posted 7/3/13
I'm not fond of cheaters. but like many of you have said above, sometimes the one who was cheated on is to blame.
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24 / F / Rapture
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Posted 7/3/13

-ADrunkenHusky wrote:

Do you still have respect for anyone that cheats in a relationship? If so why?


Respect? No. I don't think cheating is something that has anything to do with respect.

It isn't like it's hard for people to hook up these days so there aren't any respect points given for that. Cheating is a selfish thing to do I honestly feel like it would be better to just break it off with the person you are with if they aren't satisfying you emotionally or sexually.

Cheating affects trust more than anything. I saw a couple of other people posting agreed with that as well. I believe that a person "shouldn't be reckless with other people's hearts and shouldn't put up with people who are reckless with theirs". That being said I COULD trust/ respect someone who has cheated before, (but not on me) because I understand people make mistakes and learn from them. Once a cheater always a cheater is just as unfair of an assumption as thinking someone who hasn't cheated before won't.

So short answer: They are in a relationship with me- no
They are new to me and confess they have cheated before- yes, but honestly I'd be weary and probably not open up as fast
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17 / F
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Posted 7/3/13 , edited 7/3/13
I always loose request for anyone who cheats in a relationship, even if I don't want to.
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F / Basketball Court
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Posted 7/3/13
Nah, unless they prove their love
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25 / Jolly ol' Blighty
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Posted 7/3/13 , edited 7/3/13
Cheating is betrayal. I cannot forgive, trust or respect betrayers.

Maybe I'm just bitter.

To put it another way, lets say a woman cheats on somone with me, knowingly or otherwise, she then chooses to leave him for me by which time I have learned about him if i didn't already know.

How can I trust she won't do it again if she meets somone else?

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23 / M / Hughesville, Penn...
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Posted 7/3/13 , edited 7/3/13
Yes, there is nothing wrong with cheating. You can always choose to leave the person if you do not love their promiscuity, and you should be allowed to have sex as much as you want to with any consenting partner.
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F / Urban South
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Posted 7/3/13
I've always been a terrible cheater, although I got better at keeping my pants on after I turned 25. But I've also always been a shitty girlfriend, so there you go.
I don't beg to not get dumped, or to be forgiven. Sometimes broken things can't be put back together, and if I can break it that easily I shouldn't have had it in the first place.
On the other hand, I don't get very upset when my partner cheats. If it gets out of hand I'm done, but there's not much point in making a big deal out of a little fooling around. As long as I like her, I'll stick around. When I'm bored, I'll leave. This attitude is probably part of what makes me a shitty girlfriend.
Posted 7/3/13

Drakillya wrote:

Lust doesn't have a memory


True saying, cancels out anything anyone else said in this thread lmo
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22 / M / SoCal
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Posted 7/3/13
If you cheated once you will probably cheat twice. If I know you have played someone for a fool in the past then I will not pursue a relationship with you. Just that simple. I do not have respect for them, and I don't care how much you say you love me, you cheat, and I walk out.
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22 / M / 3D world
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Posted 7/3/13
In a relationship both parties have to work to make the relationship succeed, if its only one sided love and the other side cheats on you then im sorry but you chose the wrong partner
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