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Post Reply Do you still have respect for someone who cheats in a relationship
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20 / M / Ireland
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Posted 8/19/13
The worst kind is the relationship between a man and his exam paper.
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20 / M / Ireland
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Posted 8/19/13

demongurrl13 wrote:

Just because they don't cheat does not necessarily mean I have respect for them.
Do I like cheaters? No, not really.
Would I stay with someone who cheats on me? Probably not.
Now if someone were to cheat FOR me.... Well, that's a different story.
I have my own prejudices, I guess.


By looking at your profile i'd say the conclusion to deal with anyone who cheats is to w-well... just kill him.
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Posted 8/19/13 , edited 8/19/13

-ADrunkenHusky wrote:

Do you still have respect for anyone that cheats in a relationship? If so why?


No and I would no longer associate with them. Good people leave relationships with issues, there is never a justified reason to be a cheater.
Also std's are not uncommon as people think, many like aids are spreading like a terrible wildfire. A guy I went to school with many years back was a terrible guy laughing on how he was spreading hiv he had. World is a scary place if you end up with one of those leftover partners infected with stuff like this.

I was cheated on in a decent 5 year relationship because she felt beings her coworkers were doing it, it was okay to fool around too. Needless to say we tried to live together for the remainder of our lease it was a very toxic environment. She lied to me, stole from our bank account for alcohol and god knows what else. Ran stoplights and was being dangerous in my car she was borrowing, which made me revoke her borrowing my cars. I have no use for terrible humans in my life as life is too short to be played along by someone who likes pulling your strings.
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Posted 8/19/13

GayAsianBoy wrote:


-ADrunkenHusky wrote:

Do you still have respect for anyone that cheats in a relationship? If so why?




Yes. Because cheating does not mean someone is a bad person.


Everybody cheats, everybody lies and everybody is a hypocrite. It's about whether that person does it excessively or not. Cheating once or twice does not define a person's character.



Besides, I don't believe in the true love garbage that a lot of writers spout anyway. As much as I can appreciate this concept in fiction, I don't think it applies to real life.

Humans are not monogamous creatures in nature and never will be. Society conditioned us to think that we're monogamous.


I agree with some of your standings, society in general seems to be a bad thing and gets worse by the day. I disagree to the "everyone cheats" comment. I have ALWAYS been faithful in my relationships and never lied to them. After all What's the point of being a liar, it always comes back to bite you in the butt. I had coworkers and friends like that when I was younger. I no longer associate with humans now irl as they tend to be too much trouble, so hobbies and pets take up my time to keep me mentally happy.

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Posted 8/19/13
Respect? No, not necessarily.

I understand that we all have wants and needs but you should always communicate with your partner. There is always a reason. Even if the whole "spur of the moment" kind of happened, there was an initial thought or action that got you into that situation. Personailty I believe that there was something missing or going wrong for a while .. Maybe you didn't want to fully commit and only wanted someone that you can always go back to when you "want or need" something. Many cheaters stay with their partners and go through the song and dance of being a commited couple because deep down they know that the other person has been with them for so long they actually fear getting into a "real" commitment.

I heard these many times when you see a relationship going sour:
"If you can't love the one you want, love the one your with"
My personal favorite
"Don't let them be your priority; when you are their option"

It takes a LOT of communication to try and patch things up when they've become like this. You could leave or live with it. :/
Buuuut, I notice I may be in-directly answering the question lol, -.-' So....... No. I don't have much respect for someone who cheats in their relationships; however I know it does happen.
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Posted 8/19/13

kassler wrote:

Got some stupid people up in here. Cheaters are scum and are inherently scum, period.

If you can't see how foul cheating is then you probably have no business being in a relationship.

Cheating is lying, cheating is getting up every morning and telling someone you love them when you're stepping out on them behind their back. Cheating is creeping around, keeping secrets and its inherently wrong due to the behavior it is associated with.

If someone wants out of the relationship, fine. But to stay in the relationship, put up a front like everything is right and okay, but be stabbing their partner in the back everyday? Possibly infecting their partner with an STD of the other person? And for women cheaters some will be having their man sticking in or even tasting sloppy seconds from the other guy without even knowing it. And for some women this is an added thrill, like how some husbands will dress the other woman in their wife's clothes and jewelry when they're away.

Shameful shit.

When you put it all together, anyone capable of that is one devious motherfucker, period.

And I'd never associate myself with someone with such low character.


Well said!

Posted 8/19/13 , edited 8/19/13
Here's the thing about cheating - and I could be wrong; I think people do it when they're unsatisfied in their relationship. Imo, not everything needs to be stated out loud if you can SEE they're unhappy. Maybe you need to ask yourself if you didn't want to believe it before you start throwing pots and pans. No, I'm not going to lose respect for someone who didn't want me. I might lose respect if they lie, but even then I have to wonder if there's a reason why they lied in the first place. And I'm not blaming the person they lied to - maybe no one is to blame. It's not your fault they don't love you as much as you love them, if at all, and if that is why they cheated. I don't think people fuck up just to fuck up. All I'm saying is, there's a reason why people do what they do. And it's not fair to label someone as the devil when you know there IS one, just because you didn't get out of it what you wanted to. Maybe you lied to yourself. Maybe that's why many people tell themselves things like, "It's not what they say - it's what they do," after the break up.

If he or she was done with your ass beforehand and you simply denied it, is it really CHEATING? Ignorance is the biggest bitch.
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Posted 8/19/13
It depends on how much I respected them before I found out they were cheating. If they were my best friend, I would be very disappointed, but if it was some dude I talk to in school, I wouldn't think twice about not listening to what he says.
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Posted 8/19/13
Well, it depends on what we're considering cheating here. Also, on how you define respect - I can respect someone for how well they handle themselves around a kitchen, or in school, and disrespect the same person for how they would choose to treat another person. That said, my opinions of people very rarely come into play in my interactions with them.

In most cases, I haven't been able to feel respect towards someone who has cheated. The only exceptions being my grandfather and a few historical figures. I've been unfaithful in a relationship before, and as a result, people who do so casually and defend themselves regarding it no longer cause me any particular conflict of opinion. It's still a choice. While we may not have the ability to control how we feel about someone or something, we can still choose how we react to it. Most mental conditions don't strike me as a valid excuse either, since I've been diagnosed with a wide variety of behavioral and emotional disorders since I was a child. Abuse and prior experiences that effect people negatively are also poor rationalizations - we make our choices. Call it a struggle or a handicap if you want, let people call you strong - but what you do in the long run, and how you decide to portray yourself is still a choice.

That said, it's been a little over five years since I acted like a selfish prick, and I don't have any intention of doing it again. I don't hate myself for it, and never actually allowed things to get out of hand (I broke off the relationship before any emotional attachment I had to someone else could hurt my boyfriend any more), but the fact that I hurt someone I still consider one of my best friends will never leave me. I don't believe in 'once a cheater, always a cheater', though I do believe that many people who cheat will probably do so again and will play the victim. My Mom has done this her entire life, and continues to do so.

tl;dr, my opinion is that while I could respect them as a person overall, I would never respect them for their decision to cheat. Even if they had some long, winded reason for doing it, the action would never gain any praise from me.



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19 / M / Somewhere very cold
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Posted 8/19/13
I've never been in a relationship before but if I were to be in one I would always stay honest with that person. I would feel special enough that a girl would pick me out of the 3.5 billion guys living on this planet. So yeah, to sum it up if you cheat you are scum only fit to writhe in the deepest parts of a sewer!
Posted 8/19/13

Tophatjames wrote:

By looking at your profile i'd say the conclusion to deal with anyone who cheats is to w-well... just kill him.


There are far worse things than death.
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F / Behind You
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Posted 8/19/13
.-.
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20 / F / ┬┴┬┴┤ʕ•ᴥ├┬┴┬┴
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Posted 8/19/13
eh, people cheat to find the right person, so, in the end, as long as they chose you over the other person, it's all good in my book.
If you get dumped for the other person, yeah it hurst, but it wasn't meant to be.
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24 / F / West Virginia
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Posted 8/19/13
No. I mean if they weren't happy in the relationship, they could of gotten out of it. It hurts more to find out that you were being cheated on than to be broken up with
kennk5 
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Posted 8/19/13 , edited 8/19/13

Atheyon wrote:


kennk5 wrote:

Humans are not monogamous creatures in nature and never will be. Society conditioned us to think that we're monogamous.


Society cannot function without the family unit created by monogamy

The family unit is also created by polygamy as shown by the Nobles around the world for 3,000 years.
Its all in your viewpoint
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