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Post Reply Blowing off some steam from life, anyone welcome
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32 / M
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Posted 7/6/13
Well, the most important thing in keeping friendships is probably communication.
I had some guys I was friends with, from elementary or middle school through high school. Fairly different sorts of people and backgrounds too, so that probably applies to most people.

What is interesting to me is that really, nothing negative happened to kill the friendships; I, at least, have nothing against them and I believe the feeling to be mutual. What happened was going from high school to college - I just never saw them, talked with them or did anything with them, as they weren't around.

At this point my friends are all guys I met during or after college, but I've been friends with them for around 10 years now, even though
I haven't been living near enough to hang out often. Unlike my high school friends, we constantly talk via instant messaging, and play games online. I would say that it should be far easier to keep in touch with people nowadays than it was even 13 years ago.

There was one friend in the previous group that got into drugs, and I to some extent feel that I should have tried a little harder to convince him not to go down that route, but then my philosophy in life has generally been to let people do what they want, and just give advice if it's asked for. It does bother me a little, but then, he'd already started hanging with a different crowd by the time I knew what he was doing, and he was always the reckless devil-may-care sort; a smart guy, but trying to reason him out of doing something he wanted to do would be a challenge. In the end, we make our own choices.

I can say though, if you *do* want to keep that friendship, you should talk with the guy; if you haven't told him how you feel about what's going on, or just asked him, basically, why he's treating you like that, he'll probably just forget about you. As to whether that's a bad thing, I guess is up to you.
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Posted 7/6/13

ahatestory wrote:

Well, the most important thing in keeping friendships is probably communication.
I had some guys I was friends with, from elementary or middle school through high school. Fairly different sorts of people and backgrounds too, so that probably applies to most people.

What is interesting to me is that really, nothing negative happened to kill the friendships; I, at least, have nothing against them and I believe the feeling to be mutual. What happened was going from high school to college - I just never saw them, talked with them or did anything with them, as they weren't around.

At this point my friends are all guys I met during or after college, but I've been friends with them for around 10 years now, even though
I haven't been living near enough to hang out often. Unlike my high school friends, we constantly talk via instant messaging, and play games online. I would say that it should be far easier to keep in touch with people nowadays than it was even 13 years ago.

There was one friend in the previous group that got into drugs, and I to some extent feel that I should have tried a little harder to convince him not to go down that route, but then my philosophy in life has generally been to let people do what they want, and just give advice if it's asked for. It does bother me a little, but then, he'd already started hanging with a different crowd by the time I knew what he was doing, and he was always the reckless devil-may-care sort; a smart guy, but trying to reason him out of doing something he wanted to do would be a challenge. In the end, we make our own choices.

I can say though, if you *do* want to keep that friendship, you should talk with the guy; if you haven't told him how you feel about what's going on, or just asked him, basically, why he's treating you like that, he'll probably just forget about you. As to whether that's a bad thing, I guess is up to you.


thanks, that really does help. I try to follow the same philosophy in letting people do what they want, I guess I'll try to talk to him today.
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Posted 7/6/13 , edited 7/6/13
Short one, someone who I really care about can't be fucking straight with me at the moment. She'll probably open up sooner or later, but it'll turn into an argument, and in the end she still won't have realised that I was restless as fuck and getting worried all the while she was silent about it. It always DOES end up an argument, and I apologise for I don't even fucking know what LOL. To carry on relatively normally until the same issue arises and everything repeats itself, I guess.
Posted 7/6/13
Nope.
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18 / M / United States
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Posted 7/6/13

CarboKill wrote:

Short one, someone who I really care about can't be fucking straight with me at the moment. She'll probably open up sooner or later, but it'll turn into an argument, and in the end she still won't have realised that I was restless as fuck and getting worried all the while she was silent about it. It always DOES end up an argument, and I apologise for I don't even fucking know what LOL. To carry on relatively normally until the same issue arises and everything repeats itself, I guess.


Maybe the best thing would be to try and put it off your mind for a bit till she can get herself together? but if it's just the same cycle over and over again your guys are just hurting each other and that's not a healthy relationship unless something changes
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18 / F / NYC
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Posted 7/7/13
I have basically already given up on the idea of being more than friends, but it's not like it doesn't hurt. Especially because he has no idea whatsoever. One of my best guy friends this year was head over heels for this girl, who showed no interest in him at all. He turned to me, because I was his friend and also a girl. He didn't know how much it hurt me to help him. Now he still feigns some interest with her, and she has interest in him, and I am just stuck alone with myself. Once he invited me to the movies, and I was really happy. I asked him why he didn't invite her, and he said because she would invite her other friends as well. I am basically a third wheel and a second choice. I think I should just probably give up though...
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