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Post Reply Say what you feel to that "friend" time runs out fast.
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Posted 7/7/13
What if you've known someone for a while and you think you have feelings for them, and you think they feel the same way but you're not sure so you're both avoiding each other and trying to escape whenever you see the other person. Then what do you do
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Posted 7/7/13
what lava lives?
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Posted 7/7/13
Relationship is a surprising thing, you'll never know what kind of person you'll end up with. And I think that's the exciting part for me, wondering what sort of person will be compatible with me and not following a checklist.

Sure a person can be nice and kind, but if he's boring, there's no way I'd date him.
Most people find me boring as well. Relationship is really about finding that person who will find you interesting and vice versa.



I think that the one of the reasons why it's hard for me to find love at this age is because of myself. At this age, I'm still narrow-minded about a lot of things. I can't accept a lot of things that people do. Maybe later in my life, I will become more open-minded. It's just an introspective moment for me at this stage, I can't really prove it.


That's why I had an epiphany; I've always thought I was supposed to be in a relationship by a certain age, but nowadays I don't set a time limit for it anymore.
I don't care if my long term relationship comes when I'm 50, at this age of 24, there's so much I don't know about myself and so many things that I can't accept/tolerate on other people.
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Posted 7/7/13
Oh nononono
Girls don't associate kindness with weakness dawg.

Tip. Be a challenge.
Think about it. If you were always there for her no matter what, then why should she try to keep you around when she knows you'll be there anyways? If you buried treasure somewhere, would you stick around knowing it would still be there no matter what? No. You'd look for other treasures. Aka other options. This logic applies to everyone.

Sure some girls have a certain taste, but what anyone wants more than anything is an adventure. Guys, you're the man.

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Posted 7/7/13 , edited 7/7/13

Bakassasin wrote:

But that begs the question... are there any original thoughts any more? i mean words are still human made inventions. Arranging the words as if to sound original does not make a sentence any less cliche. Actually pointing out a cliche itself has become a cliche of those who want to impose their thoughts thinking they know it all. And some choose the easy way like socrates and just completely give up. I would love to open a debate but i just dont see the point.


By the definition of "original," any thought that has an origin is original. Any thought that originates from a person, is that person's original thought, regardless of whether or not someone else came to the same conclusion first. The only thoughts that aren't your original thoughts are the ones you learn from others without understanding them. So yeah, anyone that thinks for themselves has original thoughts. Pointing out a cliche(s) is not my way of telling you you're unoriginal (I have no way of knowing that), it's my way of telling you that I've heard what you're saying so many times that it's boring and probably annoying. Regardless, it seems pretty far from accurate as well, but I'll go into that later. As for imposing my thoughts, I would think it a pretty grand assumption to think that stating my opinion means that I'm commanding you to accept it, unless of course my opinion is that my opinion is the truth. Which is a funny criticism coming from somebody that says, without reservation, that his claims are the truth, the reality, and that anyone in the situation he's describing "has" to do what he's telling them to do. Interesting. But, I can't really complain if your claims actually are true, right? So let's take a look at them:


If you feel something for someone you have to say it before you get friendzoned.

How do you figure that you can't get romantically involved with a friend? When I think about the things that I value in a friend, and the things I value in a romantic partner, most of them are the same, and only a small subset is dependent on that person being the opposite sex.


That's reality you might have a shot but if you wait too much time will pass you by and you will regret it.

OK, at least you're qualifying your statement with "might" this time, but you're ignoring the possibility that you can get over it. Not everyone regrets not bumping uglies with someone they value as a friend.


And stop putting girls/guys on pedestals or they wont take you seriously people want what they cant have.

Putting aside for now the fact that loving someone puts that person above all the people you don't love (which is basically a pedestal), I have never ever wanted to be eaten alive by Michael Jackson, and I almost certainly can't have that. There is a nearly infinite-sized set of things I can't have, and only a small subset of them are things that I want. I won't assume that everyone's the same as me, but it hardly seems practical to want nearly everything in the universe.


Life is not an anime love comes after being a dick(no pun intended)... and i know that people will disagree but try it out it works.

I'll pass. If you're right, I'd rather have my principles and pride than a girlfriend.



Also have more confidence in yourself i mean if you don't like you why would anyone else?

Does everyone have the same taste in people? How does the fact that I don't like something about myself imply that nobody else will like it? There have been many things which I didn't like about myself, which others have stated they've liked. And further, I've liked aspects of other people that they didn't like about themselves. Telling someone to not dislike themselves is telling them to delude themselves, or otherwise change their tastes -- I don't think that's a good thing.
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Posted 7/7/13

theYchromosome wrote:


Bakassasin wrote:

But that begs the question... are there any original thoughts any more? i mean words are still human made inventions. Arranging the words as if to sound original does not make a sentence any less cliche. Actually pointing out a cliche itself has become a cliche of those who want to impose their thoughts thinking they know it all. And some choose the easy way like socrates and just completely give up. I would love to open a debate but i just dont see the point.


By the definition of "original," any thought that has an origin is original. Any thought that originates from a person, is that person's original thought, regardless of whether or not someone else came to the same conclusion first. The only thoughts that aren't your original thoughts are the ones you learn from others without understanding them. So yeah, anyone that thinks for themselves has original thoughts. Pointing out a cliche(s) is not my way of telling you you're unoriginal (I have no way of knowing that), it's my way of telling you that I've heard what you're saying so many times that it's boring and probably annoying. Regardless, it seems pretty far from accurate as well, but I'll go into that later. As for imposing my thoughts, I would think it a pretty grand assumption to think that stating my opinion means that I'm commanding you to accept it, unless of course my opinion is that my opinion is the truth. Which is a funny criticism coming from somebody that says, without reservation, that his claims are the truth, the reality, and that anyone in the situation he's describing "has" to do what he's telling them to do. Interesting. But, I can't really complain if your claims actually are true, right? So let's take a look at them:


If you feel something for someone you have to say it before you get friendzoned.

How do you figure that you can't get romantically involved with a friend? When I think about the things that I value in a friend, and the things I value in a romantic partner, most of them are the same, and only a small subset is dependent on that person being the opposite sex.


That's reality you might have a shot but if you wait too much time will pass you by and you will regret it.

OK, at least you're qualifying your statement with "might" this time, but you're ignoring the possibility that you can get over it. Not everyone regrets not bumping uglies with someone they value as a friend.


And stop putting girls/guys on pedestals or they wont take you seriously people want what they cant have.

Putting aside for now the fact that loving someone puts that person above all the people you don't love (which is basically a pedestal), I have never ever wanted to be eaten alive by Michael Jackson, and I almost certainly can't have that. There is a nearly infinite-sized set of things I can't have, and only a small subset of them are things that I want. I won't assume that everyone's the same as me, but it hardly seems practical to want nearly everything in the universe.


Life is not an anime love comes after being a dick(no pun intended)... and i know that people will disagree but try it out it works.

I'll pass. If you're right, I'd rather have my principles and pride than a girlfriend.



Also have more confidence in yourself i mean if you don't like you why would anyone else?

Does everyone have the same taste in people? How does the fact that I don't like something about myself imply that nobody else will like it? There have been many things which I didn't like about myself, which others have stated they've liked. And further, I've liked aspects of other people that they didn't like about themselves. Telling someone to not dislike themselves is telling them to delude themselves, or otherwise change their tastes -- I don't think that's a good thing.



I find it funny how you went way out of your way to try and find fault in what i wrote instead of maybe trying to understand my point. Lets try out your logic. If you're romantically involved with a friend that person is no longer just your friend. But i get what you did there lol. Ill try to be more specific like uncookesooshi said if you are just friends well then she will only see you as that and as long as you dont act on it that wont change. When you put someone on a pedestal without even knowing that person as more as your friend your actually loving the idea of the person not the person itself. You dont have too much experience with girls because if you did you would know that when you have a gf girls tend to be more interested in you than when you're single. I talk from experience and if you would have taken the time to truly understand my point of view instead of knocking it you would have notice that i said most girls not all of them. You would rather have your pride and principles than a girlfriend? really? lol The main reason why people dont experience life is because they limit themselves we all have things that we dont like about ourselves but my point was to overcome your doubts and accept them for what they are. We are all flawed and we have to life with our flaws. But when i talked about not liking themselves i meant as a person... to think you're not good enough to be a martyr without reason. The person that will truly love you will love your flaws but if you push them away how can you ever expect to have a healthy relationship. But like i said to each its own if you re-read my posts you may understand what i was trying to say or maybe you already do you just wanted to argue for a while. Either way if 1 person understands the message im ok.

Posted 7/7/13 , edited 7/7/13
I'm my own friend, the really gritty stuff i keep to myself.
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Posted 7/7/13
Point in case.
Have some confidence.
Be yourself.
Let's stop this debate now and get on with our lives.
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Posted 7/7/13




BlackRavenOfTheSand wrote:

I'm a girl, and I look for guys who are nice, smart , funny and have a sence of humor.


im sorry but youre 14... not to be an ass but life isnt pink. And ill know youll get mad at me but when the "nice" guy breaks your heart youll understand life more.





You don't even know if she's really fourteen, yet you're being so patronizing. Even if she is that age, her statement doesn't equate naivete. That's just your pompous assumption. You also can't predict the future, so you dooming her to heartbreak is hogwash. There are plenty of women who lead happy lives with men who are more unassuming than you apparently like.

Are you going to tell me that my younger sister doesn't know how harsh reality is, just because she likes the same kind of men that BlackRavenOfTheSand prefers? She's 17, but she's fully aware of how cold life can be. Are you going to claim that my sister's age is also a factor? If so, then you don't know what you're talking about, because all three of my mother's children have been taught/observing stark reality since a young age. Or will you pull something else out of your hat to criticize and disregard her choice?

Have you considered that maybe the purpose of BlackRavenOfTheSand's post is to point out that you're thoughtlessly shoving words into women's mouths, and even pretending to know how we all think?
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Posted 7/7/13

aeb0717 wrote:





BlackRavenOfTheSand wrote:

I'm a girl, and I look for guys who are nice, smart , funny and have a sence of humor.


im sorry but youre 14... not to be an ass but life isnt pink. And ill know youll get mad at me but when the "nice" guy breaks your heart youll understand life more.





You don't even know if she's really fourteen, yet you're being so patronizing. Even if she is that age, her statement doesn't equate naivete. That's just your pompous assumption. You also can't predict the future, so you dooming her to heartbreak is hogwash. There are plenty of women who lead happy lives with men who are more unassuming than you apparently like.

Are you going to tell me that my younger sister doesn't know how harsh reality is, just because she likes the same kind of men that BlackRavenOfTheSand prefers? She's 17, but she's fully aware of how cold life can be. Are you going to claim that my sister's age is also a factor? If so, then you don't know what you're talking about, because all three of my mother's children have been taught/observing stark reality since a young age. Or will you pull something else out of your hat to criticize and disregard her choice?

Have you considered that maybe the purpose of BlackRavenOfTheSand's post is to point out that you're thoughtlessly shoving words into women's mouths, and even pretending to know how we all think?

A person can be young of age but maybe not of heart. And im just stating what i see on a daily basis its a circle asshole breaks girls heart, girl breaks nice guy's heart and nice guy turn into an ass even if its just for an instant. No i do not know what everyone think nor i would ever assume that. I just talk out of past experiences and try to say what i found to be helpful and healing. And arent you putting words in my mouth? i guess you and only you can huh? lol
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Posted 7/7/13
I find debates fun they help you see the point of views of others. I cant get mad... it still just an online debate with some stranger i dont know and probably will never see in my life and he seems pretty smart so im guessing that he thinks the same lol what is he going to do hurt my cyber feelings? or am i? lol but your're right that was the original message. And i actually wrote this because there are a lot of people who are going through tough times and need someone who has gone through the same to give them advise. But of course im just talking about myself and what i see. Every person is different and are guided by their own moral compass I just try to give perspective on a subject that i know only too well. But its easier to hate than to find the positive.
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Posted 7/7/13
what if you're not exactly friends but you still know them and like them
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Posted 7/7/13 , edited 7/7/13

If you feel something for someone you have to say it before you get friendzoned. That's reality you might have a shot but if you wait too much time will pass you by and you will regret it. And stop putting girls/guys on pedestals or they wont take you seriously people want what they cant have. Life is not an anime love comes after being a dick(no pun intended)... and i know that people will disagree but try it out it works. Love and hate are divided by a thin line. Also have more confidence in yourself i mean if you don't like you why would anyone else? just thought id say some harsh truth to help people out hate me if you want but if i help push one person to take that step to happiness so be it.



sex and relationships are two different things. Girls say they want a "gentleman" but they like the "asshole" and no one has a guideline to any girls pants because lets face it if it were that easy everyone would know. The point of the thread is for people to stop wasting time and act on their feelings. And if you want me to get truthful some people are not that "good looking" to put it mildly but ive seen ugly guys with pretty girls because girls like confidence. Nothing less sexy that a guy asking if he can kiss a girl... but at the same time you cant lunge in without reading the signals. The message is grow some balls and ask the person you like out what is the worst that can happen? she says no? wow 1 girl out of millions said no... well keep trying until one says yes law of percentages man. And girls love a guy who makes them fall in love each day but thats after you're in a relationship. Before you have to get noticed.. say the right things.. find out what she likes and make an effort to listen the details are the most important thing. But hey no girl is the same but if you at least gave it a shot you have nothing to regret. Plus if youre good in bed they will at least have sex with you on the dl lool



uncookedsooshi wrote:

It's not being a dick that gets chicks.
It's showing that you're not weak.

Guys. Women are attracted towards strong individuals. Don't get walked all over, have a little backbone. Doesn't matter who it may be, male or female, just show that you're on this earth to change it and nothing will stop you.

This type of behavior is a common trait among 'dicks', and that would explain why they are stereotyped to always get the girls. It's not because you're a nice guy that you're getting left for someone else, it's because you're not doing what you were born to do. Take what you want, do what you want, and show some independence and never search for someone else's approval. You only need your own.

He's right though. Show some confidence. Love yourself. Sell yourself out to the world. Humans work like sheep, and if you show that you're someone to be loved, they'll be herded in your direction.

Also guys, a little tip. Make sure the girl's attracted before you make the move. Friendzone is just a term for when she's not into you.
Fix that. You're the man. You can do anything.

This is coming from a pick up artist who reads into the study of attraction.




I totally agree. People tend to get used because they let themselves think this will get them a chance. Stop being afraid and act on what you feel nothing is worse than regret.





None of that happened, then?

It took me several times to be satisfied with how this post turned out. I had a few technical difficulties, too.
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Posted 7/7/13
Lol did you read everything or just the parts that you thought made your point. "This type of behavior is a common trait among 'dicks', and that would explain why they are stereotyped to always get the girls". I agreed that the term dick wasnt the best word to use but the essence of the message is the same. How many girls have you had feelings towards and they were unavailable? subconsciously we tend to want what we cant have. Like i keep saying these are my beliefs on things that i have witnessed for myself. I tend say harsh truths so that the message will sink in better. When you are little and your parents tell you not to do something or touch something did you ever do it anyways when they werent looking? why would you do something you were told you couldnt do? or try something you were told you cant have? But here is my question while you were dissecting my words did you take your time to help someone out? no you came straight to arguing without trying to understand what i meant and why i said it like that. I wished i had someone tell me the things i know now but hey maybe i would just say they didnt know nothing and were trying to shove their thought in my life right? haha funny how we choose to do negative things over positive.. guess its easier.
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Posted 7/7/13 , edited 7/7/13

Bakassasin wrote:

Lol did you read everything or just the parts that you thought made your point. "This type of behavior is a common trait among 'dicks', and that would explain why they are stereotyped to always get the girls". I agreed that the term dick wasnt the best word to use but the essence of the message is the same. How many girls have you had feelings towards and they were unavailable? subconsciously we tend to want what we cant have. Like i keep saying these are my beliefs on things that i have witnessed for myself. I tend say harsh truths so that the message will sink in better. When you are little and your parents tell you not to do something or touch something did you ever do it anyways when they werent looking? why would you do something you were told you couldnt do? or try something you were told you cant have? But here is my question while you were dissecting my words did you take your time to help someone out? no you came straight to arguing without trying to understand what i meant and why i said it like that. I wished i had someone tell me the things i know now but hey maybe i would just say they didnt know nothing and were trying to shove their thought in my life right? haha funny how we choose to do negative things over positive.. guess its easier.


I'm not what you seem to think I am.
The reason I even bothered to comment in the first place was because you were being an asshole towards BlackRavenOfTheSand. You then called me out. Naturally, I brought up evidence to support my words. Nothing more. And now you're turning the conversation into something far more personal than it should be... Except for your last sentence. Yes, it is funny how we do that.
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