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Post Reply Which is worse feeling sorry for yourself or others feeling sorry for you?
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25 / M
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Posted 7/10/13
I don't need your sympathy.
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22 / M / West-Central Florida
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Posted 7/10/13
They both suck. It sounds like you're trying to use reverse psychology to get people to ask about something, which is honestly kind of annoying... =/
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33 / M / The Netherlands
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Posted 7/10/13
I have a little trouble understanding where you want to go with this topic.

Would you mind adding a bit more text to your opening post because right now I'm a bit devided by having to classify this as spam or as a personal topic.
Which in both cases I would have to close, which could be a pity as the topic title is food for good debate.
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25 / M / Sydney, Australia
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Posted 7/10/13
I think that feeling for myself is a much worse feeling.

For something to get me to that point, it must mean that I'm going through a rock bottom phase of my life... and therefore that's where the self-pity comes in.
And really, in life, I'd want to avoid that feeling as much as possible, because the moment I become sorry for myself is the moment I'm most mentally unstable.

Always cling on to hope, no matter how hopeless it is, always look at the positive side of things and feel how fortunate you are to exist in this universe.
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20 / M / The Surface
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Posted 7/10/13

a28be wrote:

I don't need your sympathy.


you saying that only reminds me of this song
Trahma 
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30 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 7/10/13

GayAsianBoy wrote:

I think that feeling for myself is a much worse feeling.

For something to get me to that point, it must mean that I'm going through a rock bottom phase of my life... and therefore that's where the self-pity comes in.
And really, in life, I'd want to avoid that feeling as much as possible, because the moment I become sorry for myself is the moment I'm most mentally unstable.

Nailed it as far as I'm concerned. When someone else feels sorry for me all I can really do is respect their feelings, but ultimately all the sympathy in the world will do little fix an issue for someone if they aren't ready to make a change themselves. To me it's always been a far worse torture to fully understand my faults and repeatedly fail to beat them. Sounds a little dark at the moment, but will end by repeating what GayAsianBoy said.

GayAsianBoy wrote:
Always cling on to hope, no matter how hopeless it is, always look at the positive side of things and feel how fortunate you are to exist in this universe.

Certainly it isn't always easy, but even going through the motions can help during tough times.It's always good to try and stay positive.
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18 / M / AMERICA
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Posted 7/10/13

GayAsianBoy wrote:

Always cling on to hope, no matter how hopeless it is, always look at the positive side of things and feel how fortunate you are to exist in this universe.


Please elaborate. What reason does one have for feeling fortunate to exist in such a vain, apathetic world such as ours? Why should I be grateful for my place in this vile agglomeration of vapid and shallow people? Unless the previously suggested hope is that, somehow, one glorious morning we will wake up rid of the ignorant masses then I don't see how hope is even relevant. What good is hope in a hopeless world?

I suppose the only real purpose hope serves is that of loss. Only once it's gone can you finally stop feeling sorry for yourself, and in turn stop caring about how other feel about you.
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Posted 7/10/13
When I feel sorry for myself it spirals down really bad really fast. But when other people feel sorry for me I feel like I'm being lied to and they're just trying to be nice when they really don't care. There's no win there, best thing to do I guess is find one way or another to move on. Use whatever it is as a learning experience and become a better person.
Sogno- 
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Posted 7/10/13
the former, i can ignore others but i have hard time ignoring myself lol
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20 / F / *in his heart and...
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Posted 7/11/13
Ah.. A tough question indeed..
Well you can't help but, feel sorry for those unfortunate in life
To the point where you feel it in your heart to try to help in anyway you can
But, sometimes there's absolutely nothing you can do for this person
There's a small pain in your heart when you slowly realize that fact

Feeling sorry for oneself is one of the worst feeling as human
The fact that you've done something one aches you to the core
That makes you tear down the person you are
While your just sitting there making yourself feel worse and worse
By the minute
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19 / M / Scotland
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Posted 7/11/13 , edited 7/11/13
I had a moment where I was feeling sorry for myself it got so far that I actually broke down in tears which was horrible, stupid and horrible.
And during that time i had people trying to help me which to be honest made me feel worse, I mean I am fine now I guess I still think that this world is a terrible and boring place but oh well s**t happens.
Basically in the end they are both pretty bad but having people feel sorry for you makes me feel like people look down on me which imo is worse
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22 / F / TX
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Posted 7/11/13
In my opinion: I think feeling sorry for yourself is worse. If other people feel sorry for you, it's whatever. That's their business, and they're free to feel how they want to feel. Other people feeling sorry for you can't hurt you, but you feeling sorry for yourself can. Feeling sorry for yourself wastes precious time and energy that could be put towards making yourself better instead.
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69 / M / point of singularity
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Posted 7/11/13
both are equal and ok...just dont live in the sorry foreever or u wont go no where in life
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22 / M / Silverspring Mary...
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Posted 7/11/13
I've never felt sorry for myself, and getting pity from others is just plain annoying.
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22 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 7/11/13
I feel that sympathy can be nice, but it depends on who it's coming from, why, the situation, and how it's given. I don't mind a rare pat on the back, but I firmly believe that a good kick in the rear can easily be far more effective. I usually prefer tough love.

I admit that I pity myself on occasion, but I never dwell on it for long.

To me, self-pity is worse, but neither are necessarily bad. Especially sympathy from others. People aren't machines. If I can't keep myself from feeling empathy, I can hardly expect people to shut down their own emotions. I just want plenty of opportunity for self-help, and I don't like alot of attention and coddling.
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