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Post Reply Which is worse feeling sorry for yourself or others feeling sorry for you?
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23 / F / United States
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Posted 7/11/13
For me, it would be worse if others were feeling sorry for me because then I would feel bad that they had to worry about me and I don't always like that.
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Posted 7/11/13
Self-pity is worse. It's often a normal reaction, but it's not a very constructive one. It's definitely not something that should be habitual.

If other people pity you, but you feel you'll be all right, then they've got a problem -- not you. And usually you can sort that out by sitting down with people and saying "Thanks for the concern, but I got it under control. What's new with you?"

You generally do not solve this by telling them "I don't need your sympathy".
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F / Sieyo Accademy |...
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Posted 7/12/13
Depends on the situation. If others are feeling sorry for me and it's like looking down on me... then it's bad. but if it's like. "aww poor girl" and giving me attention. then.. hmm.
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23 / F / Utah, USA
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Posted 7/12/13
feeling sorry for yourself would be in my mind worse mainly because i have lived my life with others feeling sorry for me and i never know why. It's like people want to feel sorry for others and i look at them and say i'm living my life how i want to why feel sorry for me? though also it might be because i really don't care what others think unless they are close to me and then at that point they hardly ever feel sorry for me because they know that how i'm living is how i want to live
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15 / M / Reality
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Posted 7/12/13
I never feel sorry for me or , infact I've never felt sorry for anyone. When my grandpa died I didn't cry and all I really wanted was to eat. People don't feel sorry for me either. And thats the way I like it I don't really give a damn.
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25 / M / Sydney, Australia
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Posted 7/12/13

necronightmare wrote:


GayAsianBoy wrote:

Always cling on to hope, no matter how hopeless it is, always look at the positive side of things and feel how fortunate you are to exist in this universe.


Please elaborate. What reason does one have for feeling fortunate to exist in such a vain, apathetic world such as ours? Why should I be grateful for my place in this vile agglomeration of vapid and shallow people? Unless the previously suggested hope is that, somehow, one glorious morning we will wake up rid of the ignorant masses then I don't see how hope is even relevant. What good is hope in a hopeless world?

I suppose the only real purpose hope serves is that of loss. Only once it's gone can you finally stop feeling sorry for yourself, and in turn stop caring about how other feel about you.



Science of the human body:
Knowing about how the human body functions and where we came from, made me realise how amazing the human body is and appreciate my life on Earth.
Ever since birth, your body has been subjected to ongoing attacks from viral and bacterial antigens, however the body is able to generate cells that can destroy those antigens and memory cells that can memorise the shape of the antigen so that the next time the same antigen invades the body, they can destroy them faster. So by the time that you become an adult, your body will have memorised about 1 million different types of antigen.
The body's self-repair mechanism, when a wound is inflicted, signals are sent throughout the body and the immune system send out soldiers to that location... this is why sometimes your wound will swell up because of the influx of white blood cells.
Right this moment, thousands of processes are happening within your body, cell replication, cell repair, protein synthesis, neural signalling, digestion, blood flow etc.

Things that people take for granted, like vision... how amazing is it to see things in colour?
Seeing and knowing about other life forms, metamorphosis of butterflies, cicadas shredding, turtles hatching and trying to make it to the sea... these things are what make life amazing.

Humans have the ability to go beyond natural instincts, we have the ability to express our thoughts in words, language, painting, art, music, writing and much more. These abilities are unique to the human race. It took over billions of years of evolution to get to this point.

That's why I feel wonderful about existing, I'm part of something so intricate that took several billions of years to develop.



World Issues and problems in society: If I spend my time worrying about worldly issues and common problems in society such as racism, homophobia and whatnot, I'll drive myself to self-destruction.

These issues and problems are things that one should be aware of, but shouldn't be the focus of one's thoughts. In my opinion, there is no point thinking about these things, because it's not something that can be fixed straight away. These things require time and effort as a human race to solve. It's not something that can be solved overnight like a 3rd grade maths problem.

That's why I said, think about the positive side of things, not the negative side of things, for every killer, rapist, thief and ignorant people out there, there are an equal amount of philanthropist, doctor, lifesavers, firefighters, animal rescuers, and Nobel Prize winners.


Distinction between false hope and realistic hope: What I meant by clinging on to hope, is not to cling on to false hopes like something too ambitious that you'll get disappointed when you don't achieve it.

We should cling to hope that is realistic, like I always hope that one day I will find myself... and that I will find the inspiration to help me write a novel.

I don't hope for ambitious things like publishing a novel or becoming a best seller, these kinds of hope are too ambitious and put too much pressure on me as a person.




I hope I've answered your question and responded to your comment appropriately.
Posted 7/12/13

Akiihiro wrote:

I never feel sorry for me or , infact I've never felt sorry for anyone. When my grandpa died I didn't cry and all I really wanted was to eat. People don't feel sorry for me either. And thats the way I like it I don't really give a damn.


that was a really nice introduction.
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28 / F / georgia, usa
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Posted 7/12/13
feeling sorry for yourself is worse. when other people feel sorry for you 9 times out of 10 its cause they care about you in some way. feeling sorry for yourself never helps any thing. when has any one achieved any thing in life doing that?
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18 / M / AMERICA
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Posted 7/12/13

GayAsianBoy wrote:


necronightmare wrote:


GayAsianBoy wrote:

Always cling on to hope, no matter how hopeless it is, always look at the positive side of things and feel how fortunate you are to exist in this universe.


Please elaborate. What reason does one have for feeling fortunate to exist in such a vain, apathetic world such as ours? Why should I be grateful for my place in this vile agglomeration of vapid and shallow people? Unless the previously suggested hope is that, somehow, one glorious morning we will wake up rid of the ignorant masses then I don't see how hope is even relevant. What good is hope in a hopeless world?

I suppose the only real purpose hope serves is that of loss. Only once it's gone can you finally stop feeling sorry for yourself, and in turn stop caring about how other feel about you.



Science of the human body:
Knowing about how the human body functions and where we came from, made me realise how amazing the human body is and appreciate my life on Earth.
Ever since birth, your body has been subjected to ongoing attacks from viral and bacterial antigens, however the body is able to generate cells that can destroy those antigens and memory cells that can memorise the shape of the antigen so that the next time the same antigen invades the body, they can destroy them faster. So by the time that you become an adult, your body will have memorised about 1 million different types of antigen.
The body's self-repair mechanism, when a wound is inflicted, signals are sent throughout the body and the immune system send out soldiers to that location... this is why sometimes your wound will swell up because of the influx of white blood cells.
Right this moment, thousands of processes are happening within your body, cell replication, cell repair, protein synthesis, neural signalling, digestion, blood flow etc.

Things that people take for granted, like vision... how amazing is it to see things in colour?
Seeing and knowing about other life forms, metamorphosis of butterflies, cicadas shredding, turtles hatching and trying to make it to the sea... these things are what make life amazing.

Humans have the ability to go beyond natural instincts, we have the ability to express our thoughts in words, language, painting, art, music, writing and much more. These abilities are unique to the human race. It took over billions of years of evolution to get to this point.

That's why I feel wonderful about existing, I'm part of something so intricate that took several billions of years to develop.



World Issues and problems in society: If I spend my time worrying about worldly issues and common problems in society such as racism, homophobia and whatnot, I'll drive myself to self-destruction.

These issues and problems are things that one should be aware of, but shouldn't be the focus of one's thoughts. In my opinion, there is no point thinking about these things, because it's not something that can be fixed straight away. These things require time and effort as a human race to solve. It's not something that can be solved overnight like a 3rd grade maths problem.

That's why I said, think about the positive side of things, not the negative side of things, for every killer, rapist, thief and ignorant people out there, there are an equal amount of philanthropist, doctor, lifesavers, firefighters, animal rescuers, and Nobel Prize winners.


Distinction between false hope and realistic hope: What I meant by clinging on to hope, is not to cling on to false hopes like something too ambitious that you'll get disappointed when you don't achieve it.

We should cling to hope that is realistic, like I always hope that one day I will find myself... and that I will find the inspiration to help me write a novel.

I don't hope for ambitious things like publishing a novel or becoming a best seller, these kinds of hope are too ambitious and put too much pressure on me as a person.




I hope I've answered your question and responded to your comment appropriately.


Thank you. That was a truly brilliant response, and it's people like you who restore my faith in humanity. Your optimism is contagious and you have a real gift for spreading it. I may have come across as pretty cynical previously and that's because I am, but you've convinced me that some day I'll see GayAsianBoy at the top of the best sellers list. So please don't give up on that.
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15 / F / Indiana
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Posted 7/12/13
When other feel sorry for you, I feel like I'm burdening people with my problems if they know about them and then feel sorry for me.
Posted 8/26/13
Others feelings sorry for you.

Why?

Because it's apparent that your problems are visible to everyone else.
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22 / M / USA
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Posted 8/26/13 , edited 8/26/13
Feeling sorry for everyone else is worse than those two.
I can better myself and reinvent myself to change how people view me, but how pessimism is only cured through the world changing, or your viewpoint.
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19 / M / Land of Ooo
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Posted 8/26/13

jamesistewart wrote:

I had a moment where I was feeling sorry for myself it got so far that I actually broke down in tears which was horrible, stupid and horrible.
And during that time i had people trying to help me which to be honest made me feel worse, I mean I am fine now I guess I still think that this world is a terrible and boring place but oh well s**t happens.
Basically in the end they are both pretty bad but having people feel sorry for you makes me feel like people look down on me which imo is worse


Similar views, I have. Honestly, being sorry for yourself is probably... The most emotionally damaging, but I want no one's pity. When people start feeling sorry for me as well, it's like getting slapped in the face and then kicked in the scrotum to my pride. At least when I'm feeling sorry for myself, I can strive to overcome whatever the obstacle might be. I've had a few bad experiences that have left me emotionally distraught for a time, but the sorry feeling you might have for yourself really will only make you stronger (as cheesy as that sounds). I'm better off now for those things now then I was
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Posted 8/26/13
Why would I feel sorry for myself? When you're feeling down, no matter how badly, just...feel better.
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20 / M / Towcester
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Posted 8/26/13 , edited 8/26/13
"Feeling sorry for yourself" seems to me like something made up so people can be angry at people who are already feeling terrible. To me, it's not a real thing.


minatothegreatjiraiya wrote:

Why would I feel sorry for myself? When you're feeling down, no matter how badly, just...feel better.


Clearly the words of someone who's either joking, or never felt any strong sadness. If you can just choose to feel better, then you weren't sad in the first place. Emotions are what we feel as a result of events and the resultant thoughts. They are not choices. If they were, why on earth would anyone be so moronic as to choose to be unhappy?
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