First  Prev  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  Next  Last
Post Reply Kindness Mistaken As Flirting?
11994 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F / in the TARDIS wit...
Offline
Posted 8/7/13 , edited 8/7/13

Fold39Crane wrote:

Interesting topic; this came up in a conversation with a friend recently. Kindness mistaken for flirtating happens way too often to me. I tend to give and have no expectation of getting anything in return (which is nice when I get do get something in return, although rare).

In high school, I often hung after school with this girl. We were good friends and I'm pretty sure I kept her a friendly distance. Once, I did hug her (out of surprise since I don't hug) as a thank you when she plastered my locker with pictures of a favorite character of mine. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back because she ended up confessing to me a couple days later. I had to reject her. We remained as good (although now distanced) friends.

The most awkward case was with a guy in my Mathematics class. Our first conversation was over homework results. Over rest of the quarter, we talked about random things like our weekends or different type of ties. I believe it was when he had gotten a hair cut and I had commented that I though it was "nice looking", did he mistaken my friendliness. He ended up asking for my number saying awkwardly that it was because I was "kinda cool". We had an awkward conversation via text after the quarter was over and that was that.


The 'hug' thing happened to me too. My team and I did awesome on our thesis defense and got the highest title, so out of happiness I hugged all of my team members, including the only guy in the group. Since I never hug people, he and his guy friends misinterpreted it and began teasing me about it. It felt awkward because I happen to be really good friends with his girlfriend. At least she was cool about the whole issue. Now I'm a bit shy around him sadly, and he seems to act more uptight around me, considering I was the lead author.

I also met a guy (who happens to be a cool cosplayer) who misinterpreted my kindness for flirting so he tried to ask me out. I had to decline because of my totally busy lifestyle. I felt really bad since maybe he thought I was leading him on. He was pretty cool about it after though and thankfully we are still good friends.


9552 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
18 / M / England
Offline
Posted 8/7/13
I swear to God I can't be nice to a female without any guys who know me making some sort of remark as to how it seems like I'm flirting with them. For starters I wouldn't have the balls, and I also feel like a twat doing it. But we all know how some people can look for the most extreme outcome from the smallest of actions.
23991 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / F / *in his heart and...
Offline
Posted 8/7/13

The_Elu wrote:



Having a cr buddy and having any chatter whatsoever in guestbooks. lol


Oh well can I be your buddy then? ^^
2390 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
18 / M / Hong Kong/ Shangh...
Offline
Posted 8/7/13

jellydrop_gravity wrote:


Fold39Crane wrote:

Interesting topic; this came up in a conversation with a friend recently. Kindness mistaken for flirtating happens way too often to me. I tend to give and have no expectation of getting anything in return (which is nice when I get do get something in return, although rare).

In high school, I often hung after school with this girl. We were good friends and I'm pretty sure I kept her a friendly distance. Once, I did hug her (out of surprise since I don't hug) as a thank you when she plastered my locker with pictures of a favorite character of mine. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back because she ended up confessing to me a couple days later. I had to reject her. We remained as good (although now distanced) friends.

The most awkward case was with a guy in my Mathematics class. Our first conversation was over homework results. Over rest of the quarter, we talked about random things like our weekends or different type of ties. I believe it was when he had gotten a hair cut and I had commented that I though it was "nice looking", did he mistaken my friendliness. He ended up asking for my number saying awkwardly that it was because I was "kinda cool". We had an awkward conversation via text after the quarter was over and that was that.


The 'hug' thing happened to me too. My team and I did awesome on our thesis defense and got the highest title, so out of happiness I hugged all of my team members, including the only guy in the group. Since I never hug people, he and his guy friends misinterpreted it and began teasing me about it. It felt awkward because I happen to be really good friends with his girlfriend. At least she was cool about the whole issue. Now I'm a bit shy around him sadly, and he seems to act more uptight around me, considering I was the lead author.

I also met a guy (who happens to be a cool cosplayer) who misinterpreted my kindness for flirting so he tried to ask me out. I had to decline because of my totally busy lifestyle. I felt really bad since maybe he thought I was leading him on. He was pretty cool about it after though and thankfully we are still good friends.




Speaking of cosplaying guys, I was one of the dudes from Psycho Pass and at a con in Shanghai, I had about 43 girls take pictures with me and half of them trying to give me their numbers. Now, I wasn't sure if it was because of my cosplay and they were being friendly, or the lead protagonist of Psycho Pass being a real thing is massive sex appeal.

The woes of never understanding what's what.
11994 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F / in the TARDIS wit...
Offline
Posted 8/7/13 , edited 8/7/13

Nefunrest wrote:


jellydrop_gravity wrote:


Fold39Crane wrote:

Interesting topic; this came up in a conversation with a friend recently. Kindness mistaken for flirtating happens way too often to me. I tend to give and have no expectation of getting anything in return (which is nice when I get do get something in return, although rare).

In high school, I often hung after school with this girl. We were good friends and I'm pretty sure I kept her a friendly distance. Once, I did hug her (out of surprise since I don't hug) as a thank you when she plastered my locker with pictures of a favorite character of mine. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back because she ended up confessing to me a couple days later. I had to reject her. We remained as good (although now distanced) friends.

The most awkward case was with a guy in my Mathematics class. Our first conversation was over homework results. Over rest of the quarter, we talked about random things like our weekends or different type of ties. I believe it was when he had gotten a hair cut and I had commented that I though it was "nice looking", did he mistaken my friendliness. He ended up asking for my number saying awkwardly that it was because I was "kinda cool". We had an awkward conversation via text after the quarter was over and that was that.


The 'hug' thing happened to me too. My team and I did awesome on our thesis defense and got the highest title, so out of happiness I hugged all of my team members, including the only guy in the group. Since I never hug people, he and his guy friends misinterpreted it and began teasing me about it. It felt awkward because I happen to be really good friends with his girlfriend. At least she was cool about the whole issue. Now I'm a bit shy around him sadly, and he seems to act more uptight around me, considering I was the lead author.

I also met a guy (who happens to be a cool cosplayer) who misinterpreted my kindness for flirting so he tried to ask me out. I had to decline because of my totally busy lifestyle. I felt really bad since maybe he thought I was leading him on. He was pretty cool about it after though and thankfully we are still good friends.




Speaking of cosplaying guys, I was one of the dudes from Psycho Pass and at a con in Shanghai, I had about 43 girls take pictures with me and half of them trying to give me their numbers. Now, I wasn't sure if it was because of my cosplay and they were being friendly, or the lead protagonist of Psycho Pass being a real thing is massive sex appeal.

The woes of never understanding what's what.


I think it's because you're quite attractive. One of my best friends does cosplay too, except she usually cosplays men, and she gets attention like that too. Then when some people find out she's a girl (she cosplayed Shinya once too) they still adore her anyway. I swear if I put up a fanpage for her, she would have an army of fangirls and fanboys alike :))



6751 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M
Offline
Posted 8/7/13 , edited 8/7/13
Lol simple solution, keep taken friends then it be fine or just have many friends and interact not too much with each one, never can know you fully then never fall for you properly and wallah we done ^^

I get told I flirt all the time and I am a natural flirt but I never do anything, I might smile but often because am daydreaming but never smiling at them lol. I know there must be something but I don't know what, I am too lazy to care because I am devoted to my girlfriend and I can't be asked to read these situations lol
Posted 8/7/13
A friend of mine mistook my kindness as flirting and it basically ended up damaging our friendship.
86955 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M / Finland, city of...
Offline
Posted 8/7/13

fleetingmoments wrote:

A friend of mine mistook my kindness as flirting and it basically ended up damaging our friendship.


Awwhh...now that shucks,seems like people need to keep their friends from becoming too close to prevent misunderstandings.O.O...sad really.
Posted 8/7/13
Jan - Yeah it does sort of suck. We used to hang out a lot within our circle and now we don't see each other as much.
23991 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / F / *in his heart and...
Offline
Posted 8/26/13
I wonder who gets kindness mistaken as flirting most often.

Girls or Boys?
20504 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / Miami, Florida
Offline
Posted 8/26/13
I don't look like a nice guy..don't judge outer appearance. I'm tall, serious looking, whatever. But I have always been nice and courteous. But I have cut it down a lot because of people's attitudes. I used to open the door for people just out of courtesy, but time after time I get the ugly faces so I've stopped that. Being nice people think that your weak or they try to take advantage of you. It's sad. When I'm nice to a female I get the impression that they think I'm coming on to them. I guess girls get hit on a lot, so they automatically think you are flirting with them. I'm still nice sometimes, but I pick and choose now. But If I really see someone in need I'll be there to help.
7983 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / Chesapeake, Va
Offline
Posted 9/2/13
Sometimes my kindness gets mistaken as flirting but it's whatever. It's also helped me get jobs and connections into my field because some person or other liked my character. To me, it's worth it for situations like that and ones where I get to make new friends and do something new. Plus, there's the concept of karma if you believe in that kind of thing. I know I'd appreciate someone helping me out when I need it.
24237 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / US
Offline
Posted 9/2/13
I'm nice with people in general but I'm super nice with 2 co-workers because they are the most educated and nicest guys I have ever had the pleasure to meet and my friends are always pestering me because they think we like each other I treat people the same way they treat me and these guys are very courteous and humble so I treat them the same way. The reason why I'm not that way with the other guys is because they are not that way with me.

I'm nice to you because I have manners, not because I like you.
20265 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M / wherever my work...
Offline
Posted 9/2/13
This is actually a reverse roll in my situation. I do a kind thing, and the girl misinterprets my intentions. This happens all the time. I think it's because nobody has truly learned how to read me. It's somewhat frustrating.
Posted 9/2/13
Guys mistake my kindness as flirting all the time. It sucks

It's because girls flirt naturally, even if they don't mean to.
First  Prev  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.