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Post Reply Kindness Mistaken As Flirting?
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35 / F / Louisiana
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Posted 1/3/14 , edited 1/3/14

dmguaragno wrote:

I have to admit that I am a proponent of flirting. I tend to make friends with everyone I meet, and many times I flirt with the ladies given the opportunity. I know where to draw the line, and I'd never try to touch someone unless they initiate contact first. I enjoy the cat and mouse game, but my intentions are purely innocent (most of the time!) anyway! It used to drive my wife batty when I did it, but now she just laughs, sometimes out loud, when she witnesses my flirtations. Lets face it, most people like to be recognized for their efforts. I play on that desire by complimenting what I feel is the most attractive feature. Nothing makes me happier than to see a young lady smile and blush! It means that I did something to make them feel good about themselves, and that is my intention!


I think complimenting someone and flirting are different. It's hard to tell the difference these days because the latter happens more often than the former. I always feel good about compliments. Just remember women are more than something pretty to look at. It's perfectly okay to compliment someone's hair or dress without a sexual charge. But also compliment her intelligence or the way she does something. A lot of females play off looks because they think that's all they have. You'd be surprised how far genuine compliments to intellect or ingenuity goes.

I think confusion between kindness and flirting is caused by what we've accepted as society. Advertisers have inserted sex into everything from selling shampoo and hamburgers to cars and whatever else. So now when we see two women together they can't be friends. Friendship is now sexualized. They must be lesbians. So it's no wonder a smile hello is mistaken for flirting. I really don't think it's a compliment that advertisers appeal to such a base nature.
Posted 1/3/14
This happens to me all the time. It seems like being 'overly nice' = flirting who knew?
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16 / M / MASS!
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Posted 1/3/14
Same here, im the only super nice person at my school and everyone thinks im flirting whenever i am being nice
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28 / M
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Posted 1/3/14
As guys are usually perceived as the 'go getter', they tend to be more optimistic toward that point. Females, specifically good looking ones, get their pick of the litter. Pitcher and Catcher, et al, if you'll pardon the crude analogy. Each sex plays a part, and they're interchangeable, but the norm would be the former.

Not to be confused with the ability to actually have or maintain a relationship. People are people, but attractiveness definitely helps in getting things started.

My least favorite was being in a situation where there was definitely flirting, and mutual interest, but had other people watching/involved to varying degrees, like it was up to them to setup, or 'isn't it so nice for them' or some crap. Huge turnoff to be the utter center of attention, regardless of how I actually felt.
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21 / M
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Posted 1/3/14
Now that the OP pointed that out .... i wonder how many girls thought i was flirting with them even through i am just being a nice guy.

No interest in 3D.
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24 / F / Overlord's Castle
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Posted 1/3/14 , edited 1/3/14
Its true. A guy who is acting super nice to me always makes me assume he is hitting on me and vice versa. Its sad.
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18 / F / United States
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Posted 1/3/14
There's a fine line between being nice and being too friendly. But I mean I've had guys randomly ask me out just because I wasn't mean to them. It actually hurt my feelings. It's like saying I'm mean to people in general, except for a select few. It's too confusing.
anamal 
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26 / F / Long Beach CA
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Posted 1/3/14
This happens a lot to the girls that I work with they are nice to customers and two seconds later dude is hitting on them…I can't say that it happens to me as often…mostly because people usually think I'm much younger then I am…LOL, which is better for me cuz I don't really deal with flirtation very well
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22 / M / Northwest
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Posted 1/3/14 , edited 1/3/14
Ugh I feel like I mistaken kindness with flirting all the time lol. Hopefully that isn't the case at the moment lol.
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