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Post Reply Kindness Mistaken As Flirting?
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20 / F / *in his heart and...
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Posted 7/18/13

Zeronite wrote:


NekoGirlSashira wrote:



Guys Always Think I'm Flirting With Them But, I'm Not. I'm Just Nice!

Has This Ever Happen To You! Please Share!


This is a problem too many guys have. Any kind of friendly behavior and they will think you're into them.


Ah I know that now some guys thought since I'm attractive (I didn't think so back then because of my low self-esteem because of me being bullied too long of a story to tell) I would have been stuck up so they we're surprised how nice I was
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Posted 7/18/13
A girl I disliked thought I was flirting with her because I was mean to her even when on multiple occasions I told her flat out I didn't like her. She and a whole bunch of others made some girl I was friends with so depressed that she would have committed suicide if I hadn't stepped in when I did.
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Posted 7/18/13

Somewhat_Insane_Monkey wrote:

A girl I disliked thought I was flirting with her because I was mean to her even when on multiple occasions I told her flat out I didn't like her. She and a whole bunch of others made some girl I was friends with so depressed that she would have committed suicide if I hadn't stepped in when I did.


Wow good thing you stepped in it's quite sad how cruel individuals can to one another I bet you're friend is very greatful you stepped in for her
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Posted 7/18/13
Kindness can be mistaken as flirting, and flirting can be mistaken as kindness. Some people call basically anything flirting. I know a guy who I met from a cousin, and I was just talking and being nice to him, but somehow common courtesy means flirtation and attraction and I was apparently attracted to him. Apparently just outright ignoring him was also flirting and I was playing "hard to get". Sighhhh
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Posted 7/18/13
It's pretty annoying, yes. No one wants to deal with their girlfriend having random delusional guys following her around just because she's happy and nice ever since you started dating her.
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Posted 7/18/13 , edited 7/18/13
"Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used. Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, open stances, proximity etc. Verbal communication of interest can include the vocal tone, such as pace, volume, intonation. Challenges (teasing, questions, qualifying, feigned disinterest) serve to increase tension, test intention and congruity." - flirting

"Kindness is the act or the state of being kind, being marked by good and charitable behavior, pleasant disposition, and concern for others. It is known as a virtue" - kindness

"Real kindness is an exchange with essentially unpredictable consequences", it's a risk you take

The confusion arises from lack of information and communication, maybe better communication will nullify that consequence.



Kindness is not lost, communication is

good chance, Kindness/Flirtation, we're doing it wrong, I don't think our grandparents had this problem

Can women and men be friends? I tend to think a big and resounding, NO!

source: wikipedia for the quotes
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Posted 7/18/13
I think it has to do with eagerness. Honest kindness isn't aggressive. Although, in a sense the confusion makes sense with modern day jadedness and the fact that both are really a question of "what can I do for you?".
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CALI!
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Posted 7/18/13
Ain`t dat the truth
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Posted 7/18/13
Sure, I've had kindness mistaken for flirting, especially through internet communication. It's significantly harder to portray and perceive the right tone through text.



pandrasb wroteCan women and men be friends? I tend to think a big and resounding, NO!


My best friend is a guy. Neither of us have ever been attracted to the other, despite the fact that we have compatible orientations. I'm pretty sure neither of us is super ugly, since we've both had romantic relationships with other people, but we've also had huge chunks of time where we're both single without feeling the need to even try anything romantic between us. It's been 8 or 9 years since we became friends. Please solve this mystery.
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Posted 7/18/13
Naturally I don't have attractive appearance, so if some one show me to much kindness i will immediately think i'm being deceived.
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20 / F / *in his heart and...
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Posted 7/18/13

kilikikero wrote:


NekoGirlSashira wrote:

I just got really aggressive and became a real tomboy entering high school which made boys scared to talk to me so yeah
I know I've learned how to spot if some guy is flirting with me now (All Late I know)


LOL that's one way to go about it. I remember a friend of mine in college was big into gaming, but whenever she was at a busstop or wherever playing her DS she'd get all these guys hitting on her, until she got tired of it and just started being a jerk whenever they tried starting up a conversation. It probably wasn't the nicest way to go about it, but it did make for some funny anecdotes in retrospect.


Yeah growing were real jerks to me so whenever a nice came up to me all flirting with me I'm like who sent you to f**k with me I'll kill them and make them wish they we're never conceived into this world!

Yes I was this angry in high school
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23 / M / SoCal, HB
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Posted 7/18/13

sillyriri wrote:

Sure, I've had kindness mistaken for flirting, especially through internet communication. It's significantly harder to portray and perceive the right tone through text.



pandrasb wroteCan women and men be friends? I tend to think a big and resounding, NO!


My best friend is a guy. Neither of us have ever been attracted to the other, despite the fact that we have compatible orientations. I'm pretty sure neither of us is super ugly, since we've both had romantic relationships with other people, but we've also had huge chunks of time where we're both single without feeling the need to even try anything romantic between us. It's been 8 or 9 years since we became friends. Please solve this mystery.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
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Posted 7/18/13
One time I gave advise to a guy who was turn down by one of my friends. Three days later he confess that he loves me. I was in shocked . I turn him down as well.
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23 / M / SoCal, HB
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Posted 7/18/13 , edited 7/18/13

masteryoshi88 wrote:

One time I gave advice to a guy who was turn down by one of my friends. Three days later he confess that he loves me. I was in shocked . I turn him down as well.


The irony is hilarious xD
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Posted 7/18/13
My wife had that problem a few years ago but i think it really only can happen to people who don't get much action.
If you are involved with Romance/Sex you will notice the difference between flirting or just being nice.
In the case with my wife it was in an MMO she was equally nice to all people and just one didn't get the difference and it was a sad person who wasn't involved in any relationships in RL.

Now OP you say you lost most of your Male friends on CR that makes me wonder if all of them lack the common sense or if its you after all.
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