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Post Reply Liar liar Pants on Fireee
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24 / M / California
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Posted 7/20/13
As with possibly everything else in life, you have to seek the perfect balance. Not lying at all and telling blunt truths all the time may not seem so bad, but if this causes you to be unable to accept the opinions of others that contrast with your own, you are going to have problems. And, obviously, lying all the time is not really very beneficial either. Just gotta learn when to lie and when not to, I suppose.
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26 / F / irst
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Posted 7/20/13
I lie way too easily, but it's usually not premeditated. Mostly I just say whatever will keep the conversation as short as possible (I hate to talk). And later I might realize there were some lies mixed in with what I said.
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Los Robles Avenue
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Posted 7/20/13
Sometimes keeping a secret is necessary. There was this one patient that did not want to know/learn the final diagnosis. He already assumed it's not good and he requested that no one should tell him. Why? To him, not knowing what it is was the only thing he could control. If he did learn it, he couldn't possibly (in his own words) turn it for the better. He rather let that information be erased on his memories. So, yes. This one of the points keeping a secret is necessary.
Phersu 
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19 / M / Existence.
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Posted 7/20/13
Sometimes I lie to avoid offending people. It's easy to do. Perhaps too easy. As how I feel about it? Eh, I'm neutral on the subject. I don't care either way as long as the lies aren't about important things.
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23 / M / Iowa
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Posted 7/20/13
I lie as minimal as possible. I like telling the truth. If you're too sensitive, it isn't anyone else's fault. However, some lies are better than the honest truth.

Example:
My Boss, "I have to leave early, my wife got hurt." (may or may not be a lie, and to be honest, I don't really care.)
Me, "Oh I'm so sorry, to hear that, I hope she's okay. I'll see you later!" (complete lie.)

I don't care about him. I don't care about his wife I don't care whether he's at work or off in some shallow grave. But if he really knew that, I wouldn't have a job now would I? I have to acknowledge him, so mine as well act out a passionate and empathetic white lie, right?
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28 / F / georgia, usa
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Posted 7/20/13
the only time i ever think its okay to lie is when it is a harmless lie to make some one feel better or spare their feelings like when they say "do i look fat in this?" no one ever point blank responds "yes you look like a cow" you always tell them no it looks good on you. there are lies that you just say just because its natural. but do i think its right to lie about large things and hide them no. not at all lies always destroy relationships. be them intimate friendship of family.
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32 / M
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Posted 7/20/13
One has to consider the implications of lying; are the benefits of withholding the truth worth the consequences that might result if the lie is exposed?

It can hurt to tell the truth, but it also hurts to not be trusted. Likewise, it can hurt to hear the truth, but it also hurts to learn you can't trust someone. One also has to consider what actions might result from a lie that is believed - people act on the information they are given, and if they end up looking like a fool because of a lie you told them, they are likely to be rather displeased.

Having said that, I still tend to lie if I feel people are asking questions I don't feel like answering but know I can't brush them off - sometimes I just want to be left alone and not be pestered. If I feel there is a legitimate need for someone to know the answer to their question, though, I generally avoid lying.
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31 / M / IN CALI
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Posted 7/20/13

spectralMagician wrote:

I only lie if it's absolutely necessary.


This^
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25 / M / Texas
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Posted 7/21/13
I'm not on fire.
3072 cr points
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M
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Posted 7/21/13
Obligatory: lying is fine as long as you don't get caught.

I don't really have any concrete guidelines for when to lie. Sometimes lying is the better option, sometimes it's not. It's really that simple. it seems kind of silly to say that I won't lie if X will happen as a result, or X will be hurt. Just weight the pros and cons for the individual situation, rather than setting up rules that you must always follow. Lying is a tool. Use it wisely.
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22 / M
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Posted 7/21/13 , edited 7/21/13
Whenever the truth leads them to the wrong conclusion, where a lie would lead them to the right one, is the proper time to lie. Sometimes the person is just simply incapable of understanding the truth (as is often the case with children, political/religious ideologues, and anyone without direct access to your thoughts or feelings), then a lie that leads them to the correct conclusion is appropriate.

Sometimes the person is fully capable of understanding the truth, but not patient or attentive enough to consider "the whole story." If you know the person won't sit around while you explain exactly why the things are the way they are, and the short (but true) version leads them to a false impression of reality, then a lie might be justified if it gives them the correct view on reality, even if the premises are BS.

In short, the only thing that matters is that they have a correct understanding of the world. If they are going to either have false assumptions that lead to correct conclusions, or correct assumptions that lead to false conclusions, (either because they don't have all the necessary assumptions, or their logic is broken), then the better choice is to end up with a true conclusion. i.e., lie.

Example for clarification -- The classic white lie: Does this make me look fat?
The correct premise: Yes
The correct conclusion: He loves me (implied: regardless of my fat ass)

The incorrect premise (lie): no
The correct conclusion: He loves me (or, I guess, my ass)

The correct premise: Yes
The incorrect conclusion (misunderstanding): He's shallow and/or thinks I'm fat and doesn't love me.

If she only wants to listen to me say "yes you look fat in that dress," or "no you don't look fat in that dress," then saying "yes" would give her an inaccurate conception of my view on her. If I am able to explain and she is able to fully understand that I actually don't care much whether she looks fat in the dress, but actually value other things more, then answering yes is preferable. If I am nearly certain that she won't come to the correct conclusion with yes, and am unable to make her understand for some reason, then a lie (that is, saying no) would be better, since it will result in the correct conclusion.
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23 / M / UK
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Posted 7/21/13
Lying is a necessary part of human interaction. We lie every day to each other and barely bat an eyelid.
"How are you?"
"Fine."
The biggest lie spoken by everyone every day. We say it as a matter of course because it's a social norm. There are hundreds of examples but I really don't care enough to list them.

I try to be as honest as I can. I tell people when they've fucked up and tell them when they've done good. I never say I'm fine if I'm not (I can't get away with it most times because the people I hang with know me so well that they can just tell anyway) and I always stand my ground if I don't want to do something.

Idk. Lying is fine as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. In the event that it does, well, you dun goofed.
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21 / F / Australia
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Posted 7/21/13

Shohee wrote:

Like the saying goes . . "some secrets are better left unknown" , and even white lies are fine. However , when you start lying about things that really do matter it's only going to get worse imo since you're so used to lying. My two cents ~ .


exactly how i feel.
in some cases, ignorance is really, and honestly, bliss.
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28
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Posted 7/21/13 , edited 7/21/13
I'm not a particular fan of lying, I am brutally honest and don't really shy away from any truth, though I can hold back if saying something is just plain rude or going to upset somebody for a completely unwarranted reason, though if they ask the wrong questions they will get the truth regardless of what they want to hear.

I have a couple of friends who are compulsive liars and massive attention seekers (seems to be a compatible combination), it ranges from attempting to make a story more exciting to just flat out making anything up, seemingly regardless of whether or not you're going to believe the truth.

I tend to try avoiding confronting blatant lies unless they are malicious and ill intended for example pinning blame on people or putting others down with lies, though my friends girlfriend used to come out with some awesome lies, such as she used to be an Olympic diver so when my friends and I were either drunk or stoned we used to sing the Fleetwood Mac song Little Lies to her, and she never once seemed to feel embarassed or stupid about being confronted and chose to ignore the singing completely. It doesn't get more obvious than 4 guys in your face singing "Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies". Haha denial...
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18 / M / Canada
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Posted 7/21/13
It's completely fine to lie. If you took notice to your day to day routine you'll find that lying is an ingrained part of your life. There have been estimates made from 3 to 20+ lies a day. It's the little quirks you do that you don't notice. Like the "I'm doing good" thrown in after the "How are you's" in conversation. That's a very common one.
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