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Post Reply Do men in your country usually pay on the first date?
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Posted 7/23/13
From my experience, East Asian guys always always pay on the first date because men are expected to provide for women in East Asian culture.

Whilst with British guys, it really depends on the guy himself and whether he offers to pay on the first date or not has nothing to do with his financial situation. I'd say about half of the British guys I've been on first dates with do offer, and half of them go Dutch. Lol I'm not a traditionalist who expects the guy to pay for everything in the relationship, but I do want a gentleman who has the decency to pay on the first date.
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26 / M / Connecticut
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Posted 7/23/13
I do because i like to spoil my date, I let the splurged if they want. It could be just me, but I don't like it when people spend money on me, it makes me feel like I owe them. But I spend money on everyone, that's my hypocritical character flaw.

I but my girlfriend games, shirts, dvds, she doesn't ask for any of it, but is upset I never ask anything in return from her.
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33 / M / Lehigh Valley
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Posted 7/23/13
It really depends.
Here in the US, most guys who don't go on a lot of dates will go nuts and drool over themselves and pay for everything.
Otherwise, going dutch is pretty common especially if you date often.
I've even gone on a date where the girl offered to pay since she is the one who initiated the date...so I guess it all depends.
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19 / M / Livingston, Louis...
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Posted 7/23/13
Just went with my gf to see Grownups 2 at AMC. We were convulsing in the chairs.

You can bet your ass I paid for the tickets, and the skittles and icees. Considering it was our first "real" date according to society, I felt I should try to be the one to pay and all that juicy stuff. I've been on a bit of a chivalrous streak recently. She's never been the chocolate and roses kind of gal, but apparently she's really quick to change.

I have no problem spoiling my love, just so long as she doesn't take it for granted. Besides, I'd never ask her to pay. I have my pride to keep.

I should think it sets a better image in the relationship if the guy pays. I mean, that's just from my experience, which I have too much of for my age. Weren't things like paying for the date a standard in relationships not too long ago, though?
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Posted 7/23/13

I don't pay for the first date.. However if she comes back for a second, ya betcha I will..
Shows she's in to me without having to spoil her
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33 / M / Lehigh Valley
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Posted 7/23/13 , edited 7/23/13

I don't pay for the first date.. However if she comes back for a second, ya betcha I will..
Shows she's in to me without having to spoil her


I like this guy.
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33 / M / Southern California
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Posted 7/23/13
I think it depends. I always pay on the first date because thats the kind of person I am. However that goes without saying that I will be watching if the girl motions to her purse as a sign of appreciation for the date.
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17 / M / U.S.
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Posted 7/23/13 , edited 7/23/13
I would probably feel inclined to as a means of displaying my affection for them or just simply politeness, the only exception being if they believe I have to pay for them. But generally in the U.S., I think the majority of couples split the bill. First date though, I would believe the person who asked the other out would pay.
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35 / M / OK, USA
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Posted 7/23/13
For first dates, I always go with enough money to pay for the full date, but play it by ear based on the person I'm with and what they seem to be expecting. Sometimes they want to go Dutch, and for a first date, if that's what they want, I'm willing to adapt.

Later on, at least with my previous girlfriend, it became a game to see who could get the check without the other noticing, which was quite fun, even if completely non-traditional.

That said, I really don't date much.
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22 / F / London, UK
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Posted 7/23/13
Personally speaking, I would really rather keep things financially equal in a relationship (especially in early days) because a) I don't want to feel like I'm an object being bought, and b) I don't want someone I might not even like that much to start acting like I owe them something.



Zachman wrote:
Weren't things like paying for the date a standard in relationships not too long ago, though?

Yes, but a lot of that has to do with holdovers from when women were financially dependent on their family, and later their spouse, because of societal expectations.
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18 / F / Amsterdam, The Ne...
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Posted 7/23/13
Well... I'm Dutch...So... -
Even so, it depends, really. On a date it's usual that the guy pays for everything, but if it's not working out on your date you can expect that you'll be going Dutch.. (:
If you're with friends and you'll go out for dinner you'll be going Dutch aswell... Where are the manners in my country.. .___.
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Posted 7/23/13
i dated this guy younger than me, money was not an issue, he paid for our dinner and everything but i wanted some cake from the other store so i bought him one too :3
anyway, i don't mind sharing on the first date
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 7/23/13

SaviourMK2 wrote:
I don't like it when people spend money on me, it makes me feel like I owe them.


I think you hit the nail on the head,
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M / Texas
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Posted 7/23/13
I was raised by a woman so chivalry has been with me my entire life. Yes, I pay on a first date and probably the ones after. I have been out with some women who insist on picking up the tab every now and then. I know the world is a little different so if they insist, I yeild and let them pay. I do still open car doors and hold their hand though.
Posted 7/23/13
depends on the guy but am all ways like no i pay half you pay half
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