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Post Reply How would you raise your children?
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Posted 7/25/13 , edited 8/23/13

Murgurbo wrote:

In England there are two main types of children/adolescence at the moment, ones that behave, do their school work and keep their opinions to themselves and a close knit of friends where on the other hand we have ones that hang round in peer pressured groups of 7 or more who find it necessary to belittle anyone around them that are different in the slightest way.

This is based on what neighborhood they grew up in, how their parents allowed them to and such. If they were to keep them locked away in their house forced them to do work obviously it'll cause them to have better grades later on in life but it would damage their social prowess, or were they to allow their children to do what ever they want it a big risk on what attitude they would develop towards attitude whether it be positive or negative.

My question to you guys is, how would you raise you children?


Your reasoning is flawed. It is based on the assumption that children will grow up to be a certain type of person solely based on the way they were brought up by their parents, which isn't true. Environment, disposition, genetics, & life experiences play a factor too. I grew up with 2 sisters and we were all raised the same way by the same parents, but none of us are alike personality wise. I was debilitatingly shy and did pretty well in school except for 2 subjects which I later found out was because a learning difference. My oldest sister (sorry, but it's true) was a "social butterfly" that was pretty much (to my embarrassment) whoreish. I don't know how well she really did in school, because she always got stupid guys to do her work for her by making them think they would score points with her if they did it. My younger sister was an "in your face" troublemaker, didn't do well in school, and had no sense of hygiene . She was kind of shy around adults (except our parents), but not other kids.

I'm a parent now, and none of my kids are they way they should be if the way I raised them was the sole influence on how they would turn out. My oldest is an overachiever borderline anal retentive, he is an extrovert too & loves mingling, especially with adults. My 2nd avoids any kind of work, physical or mental, as if it were the plague & he's also the quite the joker. He is shy only around adults, around kids he's an extrovert. My 3rd is painfully shy, but will warm up after being around the same people for a good long while. If someone messes with him physically (harass/bully), he'll kick their ass (TKD) , but not to his brothers. He is also too much of a perfectionist which keeps him from moving on from a task at a steady pace. My 4th one is a big ham who loves to sing & dance, he is also very bossy and thinks that the world revolves around him. He is an extrovert to the max, so much so that he treats everyone, even complete strangers, as if they were family, but he has a condition, so that partly influences his behavior.

They were all mostly homeschooled, partly virtual schooled, partly public schooled and do extracurricular activities within & without the public school system.



Mayo2111 wrote:

I would raise my daughter to be strong and independant and make sure she question's everything, regardless of who it was being questioned. Teachers, judges, policemen, everything.

All too often nowadays kids are taught to fear adults and authority figures. Just like everyone else, an adult should earn the respect of their students and those under then. It should not be assumed.


Kids should respect all adults from the beginning, THEN if the adult does something wrong they should lose respect, not the other way around. Just because a person does that (respects first) does not mean they are not strong or independent, it means they have manners and social savvy. If you teach you kid in the way you mentioned, your kid would never respect you and question everything you say & do. It may sound all fine & dandy on paper, but you'd set yourself up for 18yrs of living hell if you did that. You'd also set you kid up to having a hell of a hard time finding & keeping employment, where the bosses who expect respect will not even hesitate to fire (or not hire) someone with lack of respect towards authority figures, no matter how skilled the person is.

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Posted 7/25/13
I think you raise them with the values that you have.

I'm about to be a mother myself and all i can say is that it will be all new to me.
I absolutely want to make sure that my kid doesn't become a spoiled brat (i've seen too many of that...)
And that he or she has good values and is respectful or him/herself and others.
Also being a child at heart myself, I want my kid to have fun and not only see me as a mother but also a friend.

But all that being said, often in life..... things don't go the way you plan.
So you do your best
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22 / M / England
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Posted 7/25/13
Lol there are some interesting ...."methods" in this post xD

And referring to phyongwha comment

Your reasoning is flawed

I only said 2 types of people, not all of them. And i'm also only looking at it from my own point of view therefore it my seem flawed to you but its just how I think.
Sogno- 
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Posted 7/25/13
very carefully
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Posted 7/25/13
Going to teach them every dollar earned is important, because I'm terrible at managing money, I want them to manage theirs a lot better then I have. Like not blowing 1k on pokemon cards, though, meh, worth it!
Posted 7/25/13
With a bamboo stick.
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18 / F / Michigan
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Posted 7/25/13
I don't plan on having kids but if I did I would raise them how my parents raised me.
Being too controlling backfires (most of the time) so I would be lenient with my kids and let them be independent while still keeping my eye on them. I've experienced some pretty depressing things in my life so I would make sure my kids are prepared for anything and know that not everything goes your way. Also, I would teach them to be grateful for everything they have, just like how my parents taught me.
And of course, I'd make sure my kids respect everyone's opinions whilst still having their own opinions on things.
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Posted 7/26/13

PhyongHwa wrote:


Mayo2111 wrote:

I would raise my daughter to be strong and independant and make sure she question's everything, regardless of who it was being questioned. Teachers, judges, policemen, everything.

All too often nowadays kids are taught to fear adults and authority figures. Just like everyone else, an adult should earn the respect of their students and those under then. It should not be assumed.


Kids should respect all adults from the beginning, THEN if the adult does something wrong they should lose respect, not the other way around. Just because a person does that (respects first) does not mean they are not strong or independent, it means they have manners and social savvy. If you teach you kid in the way you mentioned, your kid would never respect you and question everything you say & do. It may sound all fine & dandy on paper, but you'd set yourself up for 18yrs of living hell if you did that. You'd also set you kid up to having a hell of a hard time finding & keeping employment, where the bosses who expect respect will not even hesitate to fire (or not hire) someone with lack of respect towards authority figures, no matter how skilled the person is.


My mother raised us this way and all of us turned out fine. My brother is a chef, my sister a paralegal, and I am an author. We all went to college and we've all been successful and none of us gave our mother a hard time during childhood so I cannot see your point.
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Posted 7/26/13

tinyd0t wrote:

I would teach my kids about the world and different cultures, so they won't grow up and become a horrible racist. I probably won't have the energy to be a tiger mum so my kids can have a normal childhood.

Having said that I will make sure my kids are bilingual like me because one language is not enough to go around the world.

^^^^^^ This to the power of one hundred. I swear all things and traits considered tolerance for all people and people is something that I would want for Mine/All children.
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F / trapped
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Posted 7/26/13
I would raise them under gods will and feed them only McChickens
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22 / F / California
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Posted 7/26/13
I'm a mother of two and if you guys were wondering, yes I was a teen parent. Had my first son when I was 18. I teach them to share, give hugs, kisses, apologize. I listen to different kinds of music around them but of course I try to watch the language - rock, metal, rap, r&b, pop, asian, etc. I watch anime, kdrama, comic shows like batman & justice league around them, etc. But I also put on learning shows for them like Blue Clues, Leap Frog, Dora the Exploer, etc. My older son is a tv addict, but he's very smart. He's gonna be 3 years old in Sept. He knows most of his alphabet including recognizing them, can almost count to 12 on his own also include recognizing them, and knows most basic colors. I try to introduce my boys to different things and some of different generations. So they can have an open mind. I always acted like a child and was never a baby person before I had one myself. I still act like a child and they love it! And yes, I do spank them and put them on the wall when they misbehave.
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Posted 7/26/13

a619ko wrote:

Going to teach them every dollar earned is important, because I'm terrible at managing money, I want them to manage theirs a lot better then I have. Like not blowing 1k on pokemon cards, though, meh, worth it!


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Posted 7/26/13
make sure the little bitch never tries to be cocky fuck
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Posted 7/26/13

PhyongHwa wrote:

Kids should respect all adults from the beginning,.


Replace 'adults' with 'people' and I'll agree with you.
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20 / F / somewhere in New...
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Posted 7/26/13
I would like to have less than 4 kids (to prevent way too much stress) and if I were to raise them it would be like:
I would tell them what they can and can not do without being too strict (I don't see myself as a strict person) and let them do what they wish to do as long as it's not illegal, stuff like that. I would also introduce to them not only anime and manga, but also to Disney films (I watched a whole ton of them as a kid at least 4 times) and also what other things they might be interested in. (If I did get kids, I would like to know their hobbies). I also would spend time with them and tell them to not try to lie and to be honest. I would also teach them about many cultures and different types of relationships (One reason is that my step-sister is lesbian and I don't want my kids to rude to people that aren't straight). If I were to somehow master Japanese (which would happen), I would teach them Japanese.
The point is that I want to be a good mother (I am a female) as much as I can.
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