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How would you raise your children?
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18 / M / England
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Posted 10/30/13 , edited 10/30/13
Well, while I would never have kids because I hate them and look at the concept of having a child way too logically to touch the idea with a 10 foot barge pole, I must say I completely agree with your definition of the kind of kids over here. I couldn't have said it better. Obviously that's pretty worthless coming from a stranger like me but, eh, oh well.
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23 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/30/13
I don't know and don't wanna know.
Tarya 
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35 / F / Glen Allen, Virgi...
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Posted 10/30/13
I will be fair, but strict. I believe in punishment when it is due, but I also believe that questioning why a child has done something is extremely important.
My dad always used to ask me "why" I did something I was not supposed to do, and I was never allowed to get away with a simple, "I don't know". I was taught that things I do ultimately impact others - maybe not always in a noticeable way, but our actions always have reactions.
The most memorable reprimand from my father included, "I love you, but I don't like you very much right now. I am very disappointed in you."
The most memorable from my grandmother, "You are a very selfish girl" (I was told this when I was 11 years old).
Both phrases made me reflect on my manners and I hated disappointing the people who raised me, so I changed my behavior.

My family was always supportive. They were hands on, they worked with me from a very young age. My sister and I were taught the value of money and that we couldn't have everything we wanted, and that this wasn't always a bad thing. It made the things we did get even more special. We were taught to clean our own room, make our own beds, iron/wash our own clothes...in fact, I started doing small chores like dusting when I was 7 years old.
We were allowed to go out and play in the neighborhood. We were allowed to ride our bikes all day, as long as we were back for meals. We were encouraged to play outside. We were discouraged from watching TV and had a limited time we were allowed to watch it.
We would get grounded when we did something wrong - a true grounding where you go to bed directly after finishing your homework, until it is time for dinner, you eat, bathe, and then get sent back to bed.
We were taught that the sky is the limit, and whatever we thought we could achieve or whatever we wanted to "be" when we grew up was possible as long as we worked for it. And we did. We were taught that not paying attention and not doing our homework were not acceptable excuses for failing in school - we would never be scolded if we really couldn't do the work that was being asked of us, but if it was our attitude or behavior causing the problem, there would be an issue.
We were taught that doing poorly in school only hurts and affects us in the future. We were taught that doing our best and learning were the portals to achieving our goals.
We were taught to respect our elders.
I think the main thing here is that we were "taught" how to be the people we grew into.

So, I am going to try and incorporate everything I learned from my parents when I ever have my own children, because I feel like they did a pretty decent job with me.
I think I will aim to homeschool through the middle school years at least, because I am liking some of the public school values less and less. And as someone else mentioned, having all the electronic gadgets and games isn't going to be acceptable until my children are of an age where it doesn't distract from their learning and they have a better understanding of moderation. And I haven't decided on that age range yet.

But it definitely won't kill them if I am any indicator. .
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20 / F / Wherever the wind...
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Posted 10/30/13
I dislike children. But if I had to raise one I'll make sure that they excel in school, video games and, well... everything. I'll disown them if they get an A- or lower than that. They MUST also be able to play Liszt and Rachmaninoff PERFECTLY at the age of 6. It's that or get out of the house. I expect them to exceed all of my expectations because let's face it, it's freaking difficult AND expensive to raise a child. It's a very risky investment that will mostly lead to *gasp* bankruptcy.
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46 / F / Redding, CA
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Posted 10/30/13
Mine are all grown now. One went into the Army and the other is attending a private Christian college in Southern California.
I used a variety of child-rearing practices that I felt worked well with my boys.
The best one [in my opinion] was Love and Logic.
My parenting style was intergrated with Biblical principles, also.
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20 / F / USA
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Posted 10/30/13 , edited 10/30/13
I don't ever want any kids, but if I did...............they would be anime/manga lovers just like me....no buts about it lol
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Posted 10/30/13 , edited 10/31/13
The things my kids will know, what they will follow without argument, or what I have learned that they will surely know as law:
-I understand that toddlers and young children are difficult to control. There is a very big difference between discipline and abuse. Will my kids behave themselves, except for occasional outbursts? Of course. They are kids. I don't behave perfectly in every situation, why should they have to?
-Help with the chores. You are a part of this household and you will help maintain it. Do the dishes, clean your room, bring in the hay. Whatever it takes, you will do it.
-Bring home B's or better on your report card. Yes, an occasional B- is acceptable. If you bring home all B- grades, you will have hell to pay.
-God forbid you ever curse at your parents, because you will wish God was delivering your punishment instead of me. I will support my kids in every endeavor they actively pursue and will take care of most of the expenses for college.
-Don't like what you have? Go get a job.

Everything else I may run into as a parent is going to come down to compassion, understanding, discipline, and support. Beyond that, the hell if I know. I'll make it up as I go if I don't know the answer.
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Posted 10/30/13 , edited 10/30/13
Threats, doom, isolation, logic, humor, and adaptive teaching.

They would unstoppable super children with the physical condition of Hercules or Serena Williams, the brains of a super Einstein, the diligence of a monk. They would rule over whatever they wanted with tact and efficiency and would never hold back. They will be nothing short of absolutely excellent.

And death will come to my significant other if they insist that another child be had soon after the first. Absolute death.
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Posted 10/31/13

HauAreWe wrote:

Threats, doom, isolation, logic, humor, and adaptive teaching.

They would unstoppable super children with the physical condition of Hercules or Serena Williams, the brains of a super Einstein, the diligence of a monk. They would rule over whatever they wanted with tact and efficiency and would never hold back. They will be nothing short of absolutely excellent.

And death will come to my significant other if they insist that another child be had soon after the first. Absolute death.


You're not going to teach them compassion and humility?

Filial piety?
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Posted 10/31/13 , edited 10/31/13

onibrotonel wrote:

You're not going to teach them compassion and humility?

Filial piety?


Compassion and humility come with knowledge. Felial piety is unnecessary. A child is supposed to rebel against the parent and leave by the age of 18. Serious attachment is natural, but needn't be forced. I'm interested in the child benefiting, not being shackled to their parents or their upbringing due to some moral mumbo jumbo. They need to rise above their parents/ancestors and learn from their horrible mistakes.
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Posted 10/31/13

HauAreWe wrote:


onibrotonel wrote:

You're not going to teach them compassion and humility?

Filial piety?


Compassion and humility come with knowledge. Felial piety is unnecessary. A child is supposed to rebel against the parent and leave by the age of 18. Serious attachment is natural, but needn't be forced. I'm interested in the child benefiting, not being shackled to their parents or their upbringing due to some moral mumbo jumbo. They need to rise above their ancestors and learn from their horrible mistakes.


Are these same children going to bear offsprings?

What's the life expectancy of each generation?
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Posted 10/31/13

onibrotonel wrote:
Are these same children going to bear offsprings?

What's the life expectancy of each generation?


I don't understand your inquiry. The offspring and life expectancy of the second generation has little to do with the first after adulthood.
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Posted 10/31/13

HauAreWe wrote:


onibrotonel wrote:
Are these same children going to bear offsprings?

What's the life expectancy of each generation?


I don't understand your inquiry. The offspring and life expectancy of the second generation has little to do with the first after adulthood.


Too bad.
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19 / F / Balmer, Murlin
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Posted 10/31/13 , edited 10/31/13
Never engage in heated arguments. Always explain exactly what I expect of them and what the consequences are if they don't follow those expectations. Follow through with those consequences. Answer any and all questions truthfully. Encourage them in anything they choose to do. Listen to them. Treat them with respect.
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15 / F / Hinamizawa
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Posted 10/31/13
To discipline them? Depends on the situation. If they are throwing a fit because they want something, I would ignore them until they learn that if they do that, nothing will come out of it. I would be okay with how/when my kid does his/her homework unless his/her grades start dropping. Then I give them an exact time and specific way he/she does her homework. I personally don't want kids, but that's my answer.
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