First  Prev  1  2  3  4  Next  Last
What counts as cheating
Kiki's Customer Support Service
Ezgi 
85170 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Toronto ಥ⌣ಥ
Offline
Posted 7/30/13

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:
some don't even allow porn because they consider it cheating.




Watching porno is definitely not cheating! You can even watch together..

You're completely right though. It really does depend on everyone's views.
2289 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
18 / F / California
Offline
Posted 7/30/13
Kissing, sending messages that tells someone that you love them even though you are dating someone else, touching personally. Anything you can do to cheat in real life means the same with cyber cheating. It isn't cheating if you talk to someone the other gender of course.
28097 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / Toledo
Offline
Posted 7/30/13

Kippu wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:
some don't even allow porn because they consider it cheating.




Watching porno is definitely not cheating! You can even watch together..

You're completely right though. It really does depend on everyone's views.


Agreed but I have come across people who have that opinion. I would certainly never want to have anything to do with someone that restrictive though. It just screams massive insecurity.

Only problem is that everyone's views can be so vastly different on the topic that people who are good together end up not staying together just because they can't work out a compromise that they are both happy with. There's no end to the amount of complications that arise from relationships.
32129 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
35 / M / Newcastle, UK
Offline
Posted 7/30/13
Well, since I'm guessing cheating is hardly the first thing you mention on a date, I'm guessing its just down to dumb luck when it comes to finding a partner with the same pov as yourself then? And compromise if not...
28097 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / Toledo
Offline
Posted 7/30/13

kapulya wrote:

Well, since I'm guessing cheating is hardly the first thing you mention on a date, I'm guessing its just down to dumb luck when it comes to finding a partner with the same pov as yourself then? And compromise if not...


Pretty much. If compromising is even possible anyway which would depend on how strongly each person feels about it. It could easily work if one person doesn't care too much even if the other person feels strongly about it. The one who doesn't care much can let the other person have their way in exchange for having something else that they feel strongly about go in their favor. As long as it all balances out where both sides can be happy overall it could have a higher chance of working out long term.
32129 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
35 / M / Newcastle, UK
Offline
Posted 7/30/13

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


kapulya wrote:

Well, since I'm guessing cheating is hardly the first thing you mention on a date, I'm guessing its just down to dumb luck when it comes to finding a partner with the same pov as yourself then? And compromise if not...


Pretty much. If compromising is even possible anyway which would depend on how strongly each person feels about it. It could easily work if one person doesn't care too much even if the other person feels strongly about it. The one who doesn't care much can let the other person have their way in exchange for having something else that they feel strongly about go in their favor. As long as it all balances out where both sides can be happy overall it could have a higher chance of working out long term.


Lol, you just described my 10 year relationship perfectly
Posted 7/30/13
How in the hell is kissing and 'other acts' just flirting?


Anyway, cheating to me is doing physical things with other people. (Kissing, sex and certain forms of contact.)
I don't see hugging someone as cheating though.

Also, if they were to express romantic feelings for anyone else other than me I would count that as cheating.

Cybering is definitely cheating.

I understand if they found someone else attractive, I find it impossible to be attracted to only one person ever. I'd only be upset if they began developing feelings and wanted to seek a relationship out with them. Just to keep from making me feel a bit inadequate I'd request they try not to make it too obvious to me.


Doryphoros wrote:

is she a bitch? from what your telling me she sound's like a bitch.


How does not wanting to be cheated on make her a bitch?
What a stupid comment, you should have spared us all your useless contribution.
11389 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / Towcester
Offline
Posted 7/30/13
I'd say by default, the obvious stuff (all the "bases", amongst all other obviously sexual acts) is cheating, as well as flirting (whether it be in person or online). If you've discussed something and agreed to not do it, then to do that thing is cheating. If you agree that you won't watch porn, then watching porn is cheating (though I feel like if that's the case, then the partner has an obligation to fulfil their partner's sexual needs as regularly as they would usually satisfy their own).

If you don't agree with a term your partner has set, then you either adhere to it anyway, ask them to reconsider, or leave them. Anything else is a scumbag move.

I wouldn't consider this cheating, but if I had a girlfriend I would kinda be insulted if she watched porn/masturbated at a time where I would've been able to come and lend a hand (or another body part). It would be like she's choosing that over me.

As a rule of thumb in terms of interactions with others, it's cheating if it'd be weird doing it with your sister.
Posted 7/30/13

kapulya wrote:

Seeing someone naked on webcam is cheating? Porn, movies, books, magazines, advertising...all show naked pics, is that cheating?

Role play and chat room, never meet the person, never physically interact, what's the diff between that and social networking other than using naughty words?

Perhaps its just a male/female difference of opinion?


Surely you can't compare flirting with a person to flirting with a magazine. I think you need to re-evaluate your definition of a relationship before even considering what you'd classify as cheating.
23784 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 7/30/13
Having lust.
24123 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / F / *in his heart and...
Offline
Posted 7/30/13

kapulya wrote:

So a few years ago my partner realised that she needed to define the parameters of cheating. My personal viewpoint was always that cheating = intercourse. Kissing, petting, umm, 'other acts', were all just flirting and harmless diversions as far I was concerned. Truth be told, I kinda still view the idea of cheating this way. Not so my missus. Window shopping is fine so long as its discreet, but no checking the fit.

Of course, to remain in the relationship I've had to 'see things from her perspective' and I've remained true to her opinions. I can only assume she applies the same rules to herself, though I wouldn't really mind so long as she sticks with my original view, which is obviously included in her far wider reaching opinion.

So as far as I can tell, all physical contact is a bit of a no-no...

Is cyber cheating? I clearly have a different moral compass, what's your opinion of the whole thing?


That's a weird question to ask but, I only see cheating as kissing, touching (Inappropriate places), and intercourse

With the cyber world if it's real for you in anyway then yes it's cheating

12224 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M
Offline
Posted 7/30/13 , edited 7/30/13
Sometimes partners have an agreement that a relationship will only work under certain rules --- and it's when you break those rules that you'd be considered a cheat. So if you agreed with your girlfriend beforehand that flirting and physical contact are against the 'rules' of your relationship, and then you turn around and knowingly break those rules, you're cheating. Because cheating is when you break the rules to your own advantage.

Not to say you have to have those sorts of 'rules' in the first place, though. There's such a thing as "open relationships", where flirting and physical contact like you described aren't considered cheating, because the 'rules' are different.
72381 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / UofL; Louisville, KY
Offline
Posted 7/30/13 , edited 7/30/13
You spending time with another woman who you are attracted to (basically those who are not family) is cheating. Any physical contact is an affair (meaning you are ignoring your current girlfriend, for another girl for your own desires.) Flirting is cheating too, because it means you are looking for another woman.

Anything that makes it look like you are searching is cheating by definition.

Edit: To what the guy above me said, I wouldn't consider them to be your girlfriend / boyfriend then. That is more like a "30 day return policy" type of deal. You meet a bunch of women and see which one you like more. If you are in any serious relationship, there is no such thing as an open relationship. Open relationship means you are looking for the next best thing.
38144 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M
Offline
Posted 7/30/13
I find it difficult to relate with the OP's point of view and/or intent of this thread. True, what define's cheating varies from person to person, however, I get the sense that you are trying to validate your own opinions a bit too much. Various people have stated the view that any kissing, touching, etc would be considered cheating, yet you brush these responses aside, adding your bit of logic about people's opinions.

The mere fact that the OP even posts this question online suggests that a true compromise never occurred. A compromise means that two people agree on disagreeing views, but clearly the OP is completely in disagreement with the lady. This suggests distrust or dissatisfaction in the relationship. If I were the female here, I would be incredibly offended that you would even post this online, trying to get pity and sympathy from others for a solution that we came up with together, because clearly, you aren't satisfied and don't seem to care enough about what my desires and wishes are.

*sighs* Anyway, to fully answer the question. Yes, different people view cheating differently and the topic should be dealt with in any relationship early in the relationship. However, I suspect you will find that the majority of people out there will disagree with your view on what qualifies as cheating and what doesn't.
15329 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 7/30/13
If you have a clearly defined relationship and both parties know this. Then practically everything each party does with the opposite sex is considered cheating. (Spend any fair amount of time with anyone you find attractive and things will escalate fairly quickly, this is especially true when drugs or alcohol is involved..)

People who disagree with this view just want an excuse to see other people while having free poon on the side. Trust. (Its quite funny the excuses a person will make to make themselves seem less guilty)
20337 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / Texas
Offline
Posted 7/30/13
The things I usually see as cheating would be physical contact with the opposite/same sex. So like for example, kissing, sex, that kinda stuff. I wouldn't mind if she hugged her friends but I'd wouldn't really like it if she hugged another dude, other things would be calling another guy cute, continuously texting another guy 24/7, I wouldn't really say she couldn't, but that would make me very suspicious, flirting with another guy, spending a lot of time with another guy, saying "I love you" to another dude wouldn't make me feel very good either.
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.