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Evangelion :3.33 You Can (Not) Redo. “Shinji and Kaworu; Beyond their Heart”
Gender: Shonen-Ai, Drama, Slice of life
Indescribable pain and unbearable sorrow overwhelms Shinji as he gaze upon Kaworu’s fate before him. The DSS choker that was originally meant for him was about to end Kaworu’s life instead of his. “Destroying the world is rather too easy; however, rebuilding it is not as simple. The world lacks reversibility, just like time… And, so as the human heart.” Shinji recalls, Prof. Fuyutsuki mentioning it before. — In desperation with his cheeks soaked in tears and pressed against the barrier that separates them; begging Kaworu to tell him what he should do.
“Why did it end up like this?” Kaworu thought deeply, “I waited so long to meet you… to be with you, Shinji-kun.” Gazing towards Shinji affectionately, contemplating the moments they shared; the happiness they felt,—as their feelings soared playfully in the sky along with the beautiful melody that momentarily engulfs them together.
“I should have taken you into my arms back then; at the time, when we were lying side by side looking at the infinity beyond the glittering sea of stars that evening. Oh! …How I wished that I could be able to stop the flow of time and linger in that blissful moment forever with you… Shinji-kun,” Kaworu faintly smiles with a kindly expression in his eyes—in an attempt to hide the sadness he felt within his heart, as he listens to Shinji’s desperate plea,—to tell him what to do in order to save him from the DSS choker.
“We’ve already crossed the point of no return, Shinji-kun,” Kaworu thought quietly to himself. “The ritual initializing the Fourth Impact has already begun. ‘Regardless, there you are; recklessly risking everything to save me? I’m not even human… and yet, you’ve cherished me. I could have told you the truth that taking the choker is not merely a sign of good faith, but because I,—I really believed that I was born to meet you… to die for you.’”
With his sanity diminishing by the minute; Shinji recalls what Kaworu said that provided him confidence to Pilot Eva 13 along with him. “What you needed the most right now is hope, as well as atonement and composure.” And remembering how warm his hand was, whenever he reaches out for it.
“Kaworu-kun…” Shinji desperately called out. “Is it my fault? I…”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It happened because I became the Thirteenth Angel. — I was the trigger.” Kaworu sincerely admitted. — Shinji called out again in an even more desperate tone than before, “Tell me… What should I do? Kaworu-kun…”
“Even if your soul disappears, your wishes and your curses remain in this word.” Kaworu replied solemnly, “You will roam the world as information and gradually change. Eventually, even your own self will be altered. I’m sorry… Shinji-kun. If this wasn’t the happiness you desired.” Kaworu apologetically uttered, while Shinji continues to blame himself regardless. “I’ll close the Doors of Guf.” Kaworu continued, with a sad countenance. “You don’t have to worry.”
Sensing what Kaworu was about to do, — Shinji desperately pleaded; saying, “I don’t understand what you are talking about!” Without any further hesitation Kaworu forcefully stabbed the awakened Eva Unit 13 with two lances, one after the other in an attempt to halt the Fourth Impact. - Gazing towards Shinji with deepest sincerity as if he was saying… “Live!”
Afterwards, Kaworu uttered affectionately, “We will meet again, Shinji-kun…” before allowing the DSS choker to kill him as his last resort to close the Doors of Guf. — Leaving Shinji in a state of mental breakdown after witnessing the death of someone he deemed as irreplaceable, right before his very eyes.
For those who think that Evangelion’s plot is rather too… iffy to contemplate. “You are [not] alone.” Considering that I am an avid fan of this particular psychological drama myself. And yet regardless, I still find my noodles twisted all up in a bunch. However, after numerous browsing through the official Evangelion site and the Wikipedia, I couldn’t help wondering… Why is it that the only description I could find regarding the moments that Shinji and Kaworu shared together is watered down into nothing more than, “Bonding?” Shinjirarenai! (Oops, pardon my sudden outburst.) This is the reason why I decided to write this fan-fiction. Because I believe that “Hope, Atonement, and Intimacy” must not be denied, especially when it is as beautiful as the mutual feelings that Shinji and Kaworu shared together.
Although, I am fully aware that the overwhelming technical gismo and breathtaking mecha action sequence, somewhat outweighs the human-side of the plot, despite having quite a number of alternate stories already written about it. Unfortunately, once a story is written and finalized… “They can [Not] Redo it” Therefore, the Evangelion crew employed a subtle, yet rather effective approach to enhance the human-side that mingles with the psychological theme of the story by an amalgamation of three veteran directors point of view aside from Hideaki Anno himself; resulting a smooth flow of emotions mastered by meticulous editing in order to procure the appropriate mood through musical scores that brings forth the dramatic side of every scenario, as expressed, even in every clandestine glances beautifully rendered with appropriate voice expressions.
*Bows politely…* Thank you, for gracing this humble page with your presence… Arigatou de Gozaimashita.
SMILE ~ Let everyone know that you are a lot stronger today than yesterday.
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