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Post Reply Why Are Homophobes Obsessed with Gay Men But Ignore Lesbians?
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38 / M
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Posted 8/18/13 , edited 8/18/13
I've met few people who were true homophobes (with fear or hatred toward homosexuals)...The folks who oppose homosexual sex acts on moral or religious grounds have all, in my experience, applied the same standard to men and women alike.

True homophobes are by definition irrational...they may have started from a religious or moral opposition, but hatred and paranoia are not the right way to promote those principles. Perhaps they find men more threatening than women, or conversely they feel more comfortable criticizing men than women. Likely each individual has their own reason. Sometimes people who are motivated primarily by emotion don't even know the reason for their own opinions.
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114 / M
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Posted 8/18/13

sillyriri wrote:

I'm actually really uncomfortable with people saying that all or most homophobes are secretly in the closet for quite a few reasons, but this article does a more eloquent job of explaining them than me: http://considertheteacosy.wordpress.com/2013/07/02/why-you-need-to-quit-calling-homophobes-closet-cases/.
However, that's slightly off topic.


However, it's not that far off topic, so I'll bite.

It's worth recalling that the thread title isn't about homophobia in general but homophobes fixated particularly on male-male sex. It's not about all anti-gay discrimination. For example, nobody as far as I know makes jokes about the possible sexual orientation of the men of the Westboro Baptist Church.

Also, the arguments of the linked blog post fall flat for me.

The author's arguments seem almost self-defeating in that she argues that we ought to stop calling homophobes closet cases because "queer" is a toxic and marginalizing label and these insinuations perpetuate that. But that argument only holds up so long as one uses a toxic label. In other words, it's rooted in a premise that homosexuality is a toxic and marginalizing concept. The homosexual community saw this themselves and on its own took the label "queer" itself apart when they re-appropriated the term for themselves sometime around the 1980's or 1990's. The argument only works if one has a prior notion of homosexuality as a stigmatizing category. That said, the author may have views shaped during a pre-Stonewall era when gays were truly marginalized and not even discussed openly in "mainstream" society.

The notion of speculating about homophobe's orientations implies that "straight people are off the hook" seems more the author projecting her own overgeneralization onto the subject matter. Saying that the loudest homophobes does NOT erase the vast majority of homophobia coming from people who aren't closeted homophobes just because the author says so. She goes further to conflate homophobia with every expression of sexual orientation discrimination. But discussing a connection between homosexual arousal and homophobia is hardly the beginning or the end of the conversation. It's merely a tiny sliver of the conversation which is especially compatible with snarky Internet forum posts.

Also, I think her argument that calling homophobes closeted queers "eases the structures that make closet cases into homophobes" is completely backwards. I agree with her assertion that homophobes are victims of social systems oppressive towards homosexuals, but to deny a link between homophobia and homosexual arousal supported by empirical physiological data goes too far. She's right in that contemporary homophobes did not build the social structures supporting their views. She says instead that we have to look deeper, "quit looking at the weeds and dig out the roots", but she wants to do this by denying discussion of empirical findings which actually start to do what she claims to want to do. But this is tantamount to telling everyone to say that the earth is six thousand years old to avoid hurting the feelings of a Young Earth Creationist. In the end what she wants to do is exactly what she says she hopes not to do, which is let homophobes off the hook.

So if the blog post expresses your reasons for your discomfort, I think you should reconsider your position.
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Posted 8/18/13
Probably because a lot of those bigots are also hypocrites.
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19 / M / Hinamizawa
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Posted 8/18/13
I don't like yaoi and stuff like it, but I don't have a problem with it.

I think it's because generally girls are closer to each other than guys. They hug and kiss each other, hold hands, they say "I love you" to each other, they don't seem to have any problems with being touchy fealy or being around each other naked. Obviously there are exceptions, not all girls are like this, but most of all the girls that went to my high school seemed to be like that. Whereas men generally don't hug and kiss each other or be all touchy fealy and all that other stuff, so when two girls kiss, have sex, etc it is less weird than two guys.
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33 / M / ICQ: 114629959
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Posted 8/18/13 , edited 8/18/13

mhibicke wrote:

I dislike straight PDA because I think it's yucky. Does that make me a heterophobe?


Yes.Yes so very much indeed (intended use of grammar).
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38 / M
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Posted 8/18/13

mhibicke wrote:

I dislike straight PDA because I think it's yucky. Does that make me a heterophobe?


No... do you hate or fear straight people? I suspect not, so you're likely not a heterophobe.

I personally don't mind seeing quick kisses or hugs between people (in fact it warms my heart), but I think making out in public is rude and a bit yucky, too.
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F / Urban South
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Posted 8/18/13

Acoleth wrote:
No... do you hate or fear straight people? I suspect not, so you're likely not a heterophobe.

I personally don't mind seeing quick kisses or hugs between people (in fact it warms my heart), but I think making out in public is rude and a bit yucky, too.

Sometimes I fear what some straight people want to do to me, but those fears are generally well-founded.
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20 / M / Texas
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Posted 8/18/13
With me, I don't see the big deal. If the dudes and ladies wanna be gay, let them. I'm not gonna hate them and tell them it's wrong, because it's not my place to say anything, I'm trying to live my own life. I'm not worrying about what some other dude is doing with another guy, or what some chick is doing with another chick, to be more specific, I'm indifferent. I don't really care, I just don't want anything to do with it, and I don't support it either, but that's something you wanna do, then more power to you. I just wanna be able to live my life and be able to freely live the way I choose, like as an American, without being called a homophobe, or racist or whatever. Hopefully that makes sense.
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19 / F / Canada
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Posted 8/18/13

chrome_mist wrote:


Because people are idiots, excluding me and the whole TAG group.





kamosuzo wrote:

Hmm... I wonder...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201106/homophobic-men-most-aroused-gay-male-porn

Just sayin'.

EDIT:

It does kind of explain stuff like this:

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/global/2013/08/worlds-most-homoerotic-homophobes-are-now-mounting-giant-pole-tiny-pink-shorts/67871/




OMG. Expose them closet gays!






I really want to know where the crown gif is from. That woman is so cute. Her hair is so black and her crown is so bling <3

Posted 8/18/13

Em0SceneStabr wrote:

I think it's because women are viewed as delicate beings (says society) and when you have 2 delicate things touching each other it doesn't sound so odd. But Men are supposed to be strong and masculine (says society) So when you have them doing "womanly things" like being penetrated it is a lot or shocking and Different from the "Norm" than to females "touching" each other.


This actually might be it.
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Posted 8/18/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:

Gay men seem to be more stigmatized than gay women. Is it because of the idea that girl on girl action is something "hot" to most straight men? Of course this statement is made with the presumption that these homophobes are presumably straight males, take the question anyway you want

For some more insight:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLSwuI8ewIY


As soon as you call folks opposed to homosexualtiy "homophobes" then you lose any real argument you could possibility have. Does that then make homosexuals "heterophobes?"

Homophobic feelings has nothing to do with most of the people who are opposed to homosexuality. You can be against something and not be afraid of it. I oppose homosexuality due to how it tries to redefine marriage and a family and I have had gay friends. Do I hope their lifestyle changes of course. But that does not stop me from being a coworker or friend to them.

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F / Urban South
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Posted 8/18/13

Glimus wrote:
As soon as you call folks opposed to homosexualtiy "homophobes" then you lose any real argument you could possibility have. Does that then make homosexuals "heterophobes?"

I disapprove of your yucky heterosexuality and wish you'd stop pushing it in my face all the time. It's like I can't even turn on the tv these days without heterosexuality being shoved down my throat. The heterosexual agenda is trying to redefine my family and convince my child that being a heterosexual is a good way to live. We need to make laws to protect the natural homo family unit and keep the heterosexuals from bringing their propaganda into our schools and playgrounds.

Okay, so in all seriousness, I do kind of think straights are a bit yucky, and I do really hate it when they grope each other in public and expect me not to care. Earlier in the thread I was determined to not be heterophobic, by the way. But the above paragraph seems ridiculous because it is ridiculous - and it's how people like you sound to people like me, including your "gay friends". If they haven't told you so yet, it's because they're just too polite.
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21 / F / Iowa
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Posted 8/18/13
A lot of homophobes I know are also men, I think that probably has something to do with them not caring if there are lesbians because they won't like them or harass them etc. :/ If they are female I think they tend to dislike men and women both. I like yaoi and I'm a straight girl, but yuri isn't my thing.
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20 / Dreamscape
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Posted 8/19/13
Forget the bible, this is how homosexual acts were stopped.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgfQ9o2-9BM
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19 / M / Alaska
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Posted 8/19/13
I'm not gay
but one of my friends told me if you have anal sex with a girl you're gay because its the same as having anal sex with a man?
what?
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