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Can you take a compliment?
Posted 8/23/13 , edited 8/23/13
I have a hard time doing this because I don't think they're ever deserved, but I don't want for someone to think me rude as a result. People will praise you for the dumbest stuff. There's a difference between liking to be around someone because of who they are versus putting them up on a pedestal for BEING A CERTAIN WAY. It's like being told, "Thank you for being you." What do you say back - "You're..welcome?"

When it comes to helping other people, I still don't know. : / Honestly, I think I could go through life without doing anything for anyone but myself, and I wouldn't feel bad for a second. And I don't understand those who devote all of their time to helping other people. I DO choose to do things for others sometimes, but none of it is necessary. So why thank me for it? Again, in all honesty, I think helping someone is a pretty useless act due to the idea that it isn't necessary.
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33 / M / Colorado Springs,...
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Posted 8/23/13
It used to bother me when I had lower self-esteem. I know that sounds weird, but it bothered me because compliments can brings you into the spotlight. It doesn't bother me anymore but it doesn't make me feel good or bad. I take most compliments with a grain of salt depending on how much admiration I have for the person.
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Posted 8/23/13
I have trouble taking compliments, just because I get embarrassed. On the same note as my frequent freeze-ups in the process of normal conversation, compliments derail my train of thought and force me to act upon feeling and social mores alone, which I'm bad at. I feel like my brain just starts flashing a 'Why would you say that?' sign and it's difficult to steer the conversation back in a direction I'm comfortable with. The result is that I usually clam up or offer a mumbled 'thanks', and just try to wait out the proceeding awkward moment, hoping to latch back onto the previous, less-about-me topic.

I actually have a much easier time with compliments like 'Thank you for being you' because they sound patently ridiculous, and are easy to wave off as jokes. They're 'filler' compliments, so unless they're coming from someone who knows me extremely well, I can't take them seriously, and will happily respond with a silly comeback. It's the pointed, specific, genuine compliments that stop me in my tracks and make me want to escape.

As for helping other people, I've got no especial problem with helping people if they ask, but if they don't, I'm also perfectly content going about my own business. I appreciate people who like to help other people, (as long as they back off when those parties aren't receptive to that help) but I'm not the type myself. I definitely won't argue against the feeling of joy you get when you help someone, but joy can come from a lot of different sources, some of them easier to reach than others, and if you're forcing your help onto others just for that accomplished feeling, then you're victimizing them in a way. My mindset is basically 'live and let live'.
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21 / M / Canada
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Posted 8/23/13
Compliments are nice, aside from when they come from close family. So I'd say I can take them, I'm also pretty good at taking criticism. Both help with learning things about your interactions with people.
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M / South Carolina
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Posted 8/23/13
Sure, as long as its serious. A compliment is another persons opinion and my opinion has no bearing on the matter. Also if I take the time and energy to compliment someone the last thing I want to hear is them turning it down, it feels like that devalues my opinion. So I treat others the way I want to be treated.
Posted 8/23/13 , edited 8/23/13
I will only accept a compliment from two people (was three but one died) in the world. It is because they have my absolute respect and loyalty and I think extremely highly of them. When they compliment me it just gives me pride and a sense of accomplishment because of how much I like them and also because they don't give it often. If you aren't one of those people you will get a fake and polite thank you or smile...but just know that I really couldn't give a crap about it because I just honestly do whatever I want. If it happens to be something you like or something that helps you then good for you but I pretty much did it for my own reasons.
Posted 8/23/13
I take insults better than compliments.
Posted 8/23/13 , edited 8/23/13

haikinka wrote:

I take insults better than compliments.


You're a dirty slut nobody wants. *hugs* Go fuck yourself.
Posted 8/23/13

anti-lambsacrifice wrote:

You're a dirty slut nobody wants. *hugs* Go fuck yourself.


Awww sweety, you're so good at insulting people.
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22 / M / Ireland
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Posted 8/23/13
I am pretty good at disguising an insult as a compliment. "You’re so brave to be wearing that!"
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Posted 8/23/13
I guess I can, even if I don't believe it myself.
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26 / F / On a boat!
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Posted 8/23/13 , edited 8/23/13

cpblair83 wrote:

It used to bother me when I had lower self-esteem. I know that sounds weird, but it bothered me because compliments can brings you into the spotlight. It doesn't bother me anymore but it doesn't make me feel good or bad. I take most compliments with a grain of salt depending on how much admiration I have for the person.



^ this had ALOT to do with why I didn't take compliments to well myself.
Now it's like meh, I don't think to much into it. As yourself.

As with giving compliments, I admire those who are able to give them easily... Aside from "thank you" I'm very, hmm, how do you say it? Dull?

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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 8/23/13 , edited 8/23/13
It's so patronizing.
I often feel like telling people to solve their own problems.
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M / South Carolina
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Posted 8/23/13
Some of you guys sound like your talking about compliments from people kissing up... Empty compliments. Is that what your referring to?
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Posted 8/23/13
I love when people compliment me.

Like...You have a nice smile, just makes me want to smile moar!
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