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Kiss or Hug? -- on the first date.
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24 / F
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Posted 8/25/13
your main goal is the kiss.
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Posted 8/25/13
Hug.
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55 / M / Between the devil...
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Posted 8/25/13
I used to go for the hug first,. Then kiss. However, as I look at my youngest nephew, things have changes HUGELY!!! It used to be dating, then sex. Now, it seems sex, THEN dating. Man, how things have changed over the years.
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23 / M / Towcester
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Posted 8/25/13

mhibicke wrote:


Richybabes wrote:
A lot of women also complain that men don't "just go for it". I've even heard of girls batting a guy's hands away, only to later complain that they didn't have sex, effectively saying they wanted the guy to just hold her down and rape her... Obviously, that's an extreme case, involving a rather idiotic woman, but it happens to lesser degrees all the time.

Uhh... I don't think it works like that. It's possible to be both sexually aggressive and respectfully aware. It's not even difficult - you just ask, "Can I touch you like this?" If she says yes, all systems are go. If she says no, you back off and drop her like a hot rock. If she says not right now, then you ask her when it would be okay.

Women don't complain when they're not raped; women complain when their date is an idiot who tries to put sexual encounters on a schedule rather than paying attention to when they want some sex.


The pro-rape woman was an isolated incident. By no means the norm, but I've heard over and over of women wanting men to be "spontaneous" with the kiss, wanting to be surprised. This is not something you can do if you ask beforehand. I do, however, actually know a woman with a rape fetish (not the same person).

I myself would most likely never be the "spontaneous" individual, for fear of ending up on some kind of list, or just generally scaring off the woman that through some miracle has decided to give me a chance (as well as, of course, making her uncomfortable).

I've heard on multiple occasions women talking about their disdain for men asking to do stuff, and it frustrates me when they do so.

I get that there's ways to go into such an action without asking per-say, but still giving adequate warning during which she can say no, but not everyone is smooth enough to pull that off.
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Posted 8/25/13
Neither.
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M / Texas
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Posted 8/25/13
I had a first date this past Friday. I was just ready to say goodbye, but she wanted to hug me a few times. She held on for a good long time, too. I guess that's a good thing. I never go into a date assuming anything so that was interesting.
Posted 8/25/13 , edited 8/25/13
I don't really date. And on the rare occasion that I do, I usually send out a very strong (and awkward) "don't get too close or I'll kill you" sort of vibe.

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Ok, I lied. I usually don't give a warning.
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Posted 8/25/13
I skip that and go for the home run...Life is short!
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26 / F
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Posted 8/26/13
I don't date, sadly. But, I think I wouldn't mind a hug or kiss. With the kiss, I don't want him to just grab me and plant one. Ask, or lean in a bit, gets the message that he wants a kiss, but not forceful.
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26 / M / California
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Posted 8/26/13
HAHAHAHA! these replies are awesome. Kiss or hug it depends on what you want with that person. I've kissed and slept on the first and that didn't last obviously and I dated a friend for a while until I moved and we kissed on the first. So, I suggest a hug for a long term relationship or take a shot and kiss if you've known each other for a while.
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25 / M / USA
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Posted 8/26/13
Go for the kiss! Then the demon in their heart will leave them and they'll lose their memories of you! *shot*

I personally go for the "acknowledge existence" for an end of date event. I didn't know you were suppose to actually physically interact with females. *takes notes*
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23 / F
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Posted 8/26/13
Neither.. Afterall, It's the "first" date so i don't think i should receive or give the guy a hug or even worse, a kiss. HAHA! asian culture yo!
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40 / M
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Posted 8/26/13
Listen children...the way to get another date is to be sensitive to how the other person wants to end the first one. You may have to be more patient than you want to, or you may have to enlarge your comfort zone. Often, an awkward ending to a date is not a bad thing...it can indicate that you've both opened up emotionally and lost your cool.

And don't be afraid to be the first to call for another date! I recommend that you always call within 48 hours if only to compliment the other person on showing you a good time.

I love Mayo's story about the hugger...sounds like she was surprised and delighted to find someone she liked alot and did not want to let go.
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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 8/26/13

peaka10 wrote:

your main goal is the kiss.


I thought the main goal was... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D12heGaUGTY
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24 / F
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Posted 8/26/13 , edited 8/26/13
yes it is
but you need to get too 2nd base before 1st.

( or is it the other way round)

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