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Your thoughts on sex and virginity
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19 / M / California
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Posted 8/30/13
Your virginity: Don't lose it unless u mean it with the person u love. And also keep it safe or get checked up u dont wanna be getting AIDS or some type of STD.....and these goes for everyone
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104 / M / The Milky Way Galaxy
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Posted 8/30/13 , edited 8/30/13
If you want to deal with a lot of unnecessary drama then go ahead and slut around. Based on my experiences, sleeping with somebody you don't really care about isn't worth it in the long run. You'll just end up with a bunch of drama and possibly depression that could've been avoided in the first place.
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22 / M / Hinamizawa
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Posted 8/30/13
My question is why is sex and virginity such a big deal? Dumbing it down it's just the act of mating to reproduce, and pass down your genes. Our instincts and nature intended men to have multiple mates, which is why guys are usually more obsessed with sex than women. We humans like to read into things and give things meaning - i.e. "this rock is my soul" a rock is a rock, it has no meaning until we give it meaning, so isn't it the same with virginity and sex? I don't get why it's supposed to be "special" could someone explain it to me? And please give an actual reason and explanation instead of "because it's the ultimate form of love" or such - why is it the ultimate form of love?
Posted 8/30/13
I understand the whole nostalgia behind the virginity issue, but in my view it's an archaic relic to a long forgotten past.

Everyone wants their first time to be beautiful, magical, and special, but in honestly if both are virgins, you're going to stumble through it like two newborns trying to learn how to walk.

It's a cute gimmick, like promise rings. You eventually move on to the more serious issues of life.
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23 / M / Huntington Beach, CA
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Posted 8/30/13

fallenhat wrote:

I just found it disgusting and I hated them as people.


That's honestly one of the most ignorant and arrogant things I've ever heard. Sexuality is humanity. No one can deny that. I guarantee half of the people on this forum are bastards (by which I mean children conceived out of wed-lock). I was born and raised Christian but I knew if there was a girl I sincerely loved and believed I would spend the rest of my life with, we were probably going to have sex. It takes all kinds in this world and waiting is up to you. But saying it's disgusting or that sexual promiscuity makes anyone less of a person is so very wrong. There's a good reason why there are 7 billion people on this planet. Who is to say what is sexual moral and what is not? That being said, the only thing I could see as being the latter is infidelity in a predetermined monogamous relationship.

I was 18 when I lost my virginity. I was in a relationship for 6 months with the girl before we got around to having sex. I have never been more sexually attracted to a woman. Everything just clicked. She was the second person I ever dated and I was her first. We had sex all of the time. She was properly using birth control and I was tested for STI's before and after our relationship just to ensure sexual responsibility. I never used a condom and a lot of people think this is insane, but I'm guessing those people aren't very sexual aware or are sleeping around all of the time. After two years I honestly believed she was the woman I was going to marry. We made it through long-distance and a lot of hardship without so much as a single crack in our relationship. Or so I thought.

She called me on Skype one day. Said it was important. This was right after Valentine's day and I know she had gone to a party. She broke up with me in a 13 minute Skype conversation. After two years she gave me only 13 minutes of her time. I was dumbfounded. She wasn't even crying. I didn't know what to do with myself afterwards and the way she went about it I knew something was up. Turns out she cheated on me. I was so in love. The fact that we shared our virginity was important to me. Now I'm left questioning everything. I thought I waited until I absolutely knew, and now I regret everything. And regret is ultimately my point.

As long as you don't regret your sexual endeavors, you're making the right choices. I would say have sex only with people you love. It makes the sex ten times better anyways. Personally I don't think I could ever have sex with a women who has been with too many guys. I'm confident in my ability to please women. Very confident actually. But I hate the idea of being compared to another man. Being sexual selective, I choose not to sleep around. To wait until I'm in a long-term relationship. Does that make me a pussy? Sure, maybe it does. Could I have slept around? Sure, but any guy who boasts about how many women he's slept with has no respect for women and is probably having some shitty sex.

Everyone has a sexual profile. That last paragraph is just my own thoughts. Maybe your'e addicted to sex or sleep around because you have a poor self-image. That does not make you less of a person. Those people are just finding their way like the rest of us.

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22 / M
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Posted 8/30/13

Did you read my whole post, or just take that 1 sentence out of context? I mean it sounds like we have fairly similar opinions (although different life experiences) That is my opinion on what I see around me, whether you think it's arrogant or not. However I was referring to the people that don't care about long and meaningful relationships, and just sleep around with whoever they're infatuated with for a couple weeks or months. Your experience sounds like a legitimate relationship, and it sounds like you were hoping for it to work out long-term (sorry it didn't, that seems like a really terrible situation to be in.) And that's how I think it should be, only have sex with someone you plan on being with for a very long time.
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23 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 8/30/13

Bankshot wrote:

Chose your mates wisely...

Yeah, I'm old fashioned....so sue me...


LOL, I thought at first, you said "choose your meats wisely"
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22 / M
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Posted 8/30/13 , edited 8/30/13

Rena-Ryuuguu wrote:

My question is why is sex and virginity such a big deal? Dumbing it down it's just the act of mating to reproduce, and pass down your genes. Our instincts and nature intended men to have multiple mates, which is why guys are usually more obsessed with sex than women. We humans like to read into things and give things meaning - i.e. "this rock is my soul" a rock is a rock, it has no meaning until we give it meaning, so isn't it the same with virginity and sex? I don't get why it's supposed to be "special" could someone explain it to me? And please give an actual reason and explanation instead of "because it's the ultimate form of love" or such - why is it the ultimate form of love?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhrBDcQq2DM

This explains love much better than I could. Also, you sound like an evolutionist. Are you an evolutionist?

Yeah, virginity. Some people are stuck with it for the long haul, so we like to pretend its by choice.
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19 / M / California
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Posted 8/30/13 , edited 8/30/13
Can't make love, without a glove, Wrap it before you Tap it, Don’t be a fool, cover your tool,
If you go into heat, package your meat, Don’t be silly, protect your willy........ok i'll be quiet now



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22 / M / Hinamizawa
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Posted 8/30/13

Phersu wrote:


Rena-Ryuuguu wrote:

My question is why is sex and virginity such a big deal? Dumbing it down it's just the act of mating to reproduce, and pass down your genes. Our instincts and nature intended men to have multiple mates, which is why guys are usually more obsessed with sex than women. We humans like to read into things and give things meaning - i.e. "this rock is my soul" a rock is a rock, it has no meaning until we give it meaning, so isn't it the same with virginity and sex? I don't get why it's supposed to be "special" could someone explain it to me? And please give an actual reason and explanation instead of "because it's the ultimate form of love" or such - why is it the ultimate form of love?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhrBDcQq2DM

This explains love much better than I could. Also, you sound like an evolutionist. Are you an evolutionist?

Yeah, virginity. Some people are stuck with it for the long haul, so we like to pretend its by choice.


Hmm, my question isn't really "what is love" (lol) I understand love, but why sex and virginity have so much meaning, why people think that sex should be between people that are in love, and why it is frowned upon to sleep with many partners casually, besides for the obvious std reasons.

Also, evolutionist? Are you wondering if I believe in evolution? If so yes as any sane person should - I also don't understand creationists, there is so much evidence to support evolution, and creationists pick and choose what works for them and wave around their false dichotomies. But this isn't a thread on Evolutionism and creationism, it's about sex and virginity, so I hope anyone that wishes to discuss creationism will post in that thread or pm me and focus on sex and virginity in this one (cause creationists and pious people tend to be very passionate and I don't want to have a religious debate in this thread.)
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23 / M / Huntington Beach, CA
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Posted 8/30/13


That last sentence honestly irks me. I read your entire post thoroughly and I understand what you're trying to say. Reading the last sentence for what it is is not taking it out of context. You began with a conjunction which pulls your own sentence out of context. Reread it. It's actually kind of hurtful to read. I'm not trying to call you out. I didn't call you ignorant or arrogant, I was saying that statement was. There's a huge difference.
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22 / M / Hinamizawa
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Posted 8/30/13


I like this comment a lot - thought out, anecdotal support and an open minded and gives a good reason. You seem like a really nice person, and it sucks that you had to go through something like that I would be so devastated, I don't understand how people can do things like that - you'd think that all that would mean something and she would properly break up with you and give some closure.

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24 / M / Delano, California
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Posted 8/30/13

SamNavarro141 wrote:

Can't make love, without a love, Wrap it before you Tap it, Don’t be a fool, cover your tool,
If you go into heat, package your meat, Don’t be silly, protect your willy........ok i'll be quiet now





haha that made me laugh hard.

OT: I was one with the idea of "as long as it is with someone I know I love". But... after losing the person I thought loved me back as much as I loved her, I lost it to someone who was just a complete stranger to me. I guess it was a way to try and forget her or something, I wasn't right in my mind, I don't know. I regret it to the fullest, and it was a bad experience for me.

So as advice to anyone who still has their virginity and who is thinking of keeping it for after marriage, do so. That would probably be the best way to know that person loves you.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend respects your wishes and is willing to wait until after marriage to have sex, then you know that's love. If they have to threaten in some way that they will break up with you just to have sex, how is that love?

I hope this helps someone, even one person, to stay strong to what they believe. What would be more special than to share that with your one true love?
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27 / M
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Posted 8/30/13 , edited 8/30/13
It's a normal part of life. No real need to glorify or to denounce it. If you want to do it and you can, go for it. If you don't want to, that's fine as well. Nothing is particularly wrong with it. You do it, you deal with the results (good or bad). It's your choice and, therefore, your fault if you are careless. Or it can be the partner's fault if you were deceived. Don't blame the act itself.

Marriage, on the other hand, isn't one of the basic needs. And with the high volume of increasingly untrustworthy and selfish people people today who are unwilling to compromise or otherwise go through greater lengths to actually take their vows as seriously as they are meant to be taken, I'd say stay away from marriage.....

It's better to have your feelings hurt for a little while than for everything you've worked for and the entire framework of your life to be destroyed by one bad partner that you invested too much in. People are whole beings and there is no 'other-half' of you or whatever. Don't over-commit. You have to weigh the costs and the benefits, cutting the losses in your favor if the need arises. Don't take advantage of someone who has feelings, but do not let them take advantage of you, either. It's not all about a mad rush for love, and those who believe it is are not being realistic.
Sogno- 
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Posted 8/30/13
wait until marriage. Sex is supposed to be something special and meaningful with that one special person; it loses all of that when it is shared with others.
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